


The Supernatural Chronicles

by Asthesia



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 20:40:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 83,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21904921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asthesia/pseuds/Asthesia
Summary: Okay, so I had this OC named Mila Akashi Jones and the whole thing kinda escalated, so now I'm writing her whole story down to not forget all my ideas. As you will notice, each chapter's title starts with the episode which I used in the chapter, followed by a bad title that I made up. They're supposed to sound like the title Mila would give the episodes from her POV, that's why. Also, I wanted to include puns, as if I didn't already do that in the story itself. In conclusion, I'm doing this just for fun, and I hope you'll have fun reading it, too!





	1. 7x21 - I'd say "It's a fun story", but actually, it's not

I pull my bow across the strings of my violin, perfecting the sound of Kevin’s and my duet. We almost reached the end of the song, it’s our personal version of the Pachelbel Kanon. We changed it so that just us two could play together, and I think it sounds rather nice. Just as the song ends and we play the last accord, Kevin’s computer, on which his personal organizer is opened, has a little window popping up and makes a ringing noise, informing him that the practice is over. He puts his Cello away and turns off the alarm. For me, such accuracy would make me uncomfortable, but I accepted years ago that this is how it works best for him. Just as I put my violin down and reach for the case, Kevin gets another notification.  
“Princeton adjusted its acceptance rate down to 8.7 percent for 2013“, he says. He sounds worried. For whatever reason.  
“Stay calm, Kev. What will you do next, study, right?“ I ask.  
“Right now, I’m talking to you.“ He looks at a timer in his program counting down. It used to be labeled “elective period“, but I changed it to “Breathe, it’s free time“. “Probability and statistics are on in 14 minutes.“  
“I don’t like probability. But see, you are studying, so need to worry.“  
“Not true“, Kevin says, his voice not changing, “Tomorrow’s my last chance to get a perfect.“  
I roll my eyes. He always gets nervous about the exams, but this year, it’s at least five times worse. Well, to be honest, that’s understandable, I mean, this is about college, about our future. But I’m not overdoing it. Good thing Kevin has me to distract him every now and then, otherwise, he would have had a burn-out, like, three years ago.  
“Our SATs are great.“  
“Mila, everybody’s SATs are great. I have to do perfect.“  
I think for a second, trying to find him a reason to calm down a little.  
“Well, the essays are only as important as the exams. A good essay compensates for a not-so-perfect exam.“  
I watch Kevin open another tab. It’s a document labeled “College admission essay“, and there’s no text at all. He hasn’t even started yet.  
“I have absolutely nothing to say.“  
“I know“, I say. It took me some time to write mine, and it’s not even finished yet. Of course, I don’t tell Kevin that. “I know what you mean.“  
Kevin shakes his head. “I’m screwed.“  
I sigh. He really won’t let that go. “I’ll just help you with it. You know, one day, college isn’t going to matter anymore. Then we’re free.“  
It was supposed to be a joke or something, but Kevin looks at me like I’ve gone crazy.  
“You’re out of your mind.“  
I don’t even try to change his mind. After all this years, I know that he’ll stick to his plans. Kevin stands up and goes over to his shelf, leaning against it. He opens an energy drink and starts sipping, not taking his eyes off the empty document, as if hoping it’ll magically write itself.  
Suddenly, outside, thunder rumbles and almost immediately, lightning follows. I accidentally flinch. Thunderstorms used to cause me some trouble, but usually, by now, they don’t bother me, but this one just… Showed up like nothing. It scared me. Just as a precaution, I take my asthma inhaler out of my pocket, but I can feel how my heart beat slows down again. It really was just a little scare that didn’t trigger anything.  
But then, something weird happens. Thunder and lightning go down, at the same time, again, and again, and again. I stand up from where I was still sitting from violin practice. Kevin looks at me, his face expressing the confusion I feel. It sounds like there’s a storm directly above us. I don’t mean up in the sky, I mean right above the ceiling. Kevin and I simultaneously look up, which might seem extremely ridiculous, but actually, it’s not.  
Because there is lightning in the room.   
It all is happening so fast that I almost can’t react, and then Kevin gets struck by the lightning, but he’s not dead, it‘s around him, so so bright that I have to squint my eyes and barely see how Kevin gets lifted up from the ground by a kind of invisible force. Yet, I can hear him yell in pain.  
“Kevin!“, I scream, but it’s barely audible with the storm going on.  
Suddenly, all the windows shatter and the force lets Kevin fall back to the ground, which I only see at the edge of my field of vision because at the same time, I just kinda…  
Black out.

It’s all dark. I try to open my eyes as I realize that I’m lying on the floor, hands bloody from shattered glass. Why did I wake up?  
“This is Kevin Tran’s cellphone. Leave a voicemail.“  
Someone called Kevin. Kevin…  
Finally I open my eyes, trying to get back to myself and gain full consciousness. I look around the room. Kevin is lying on the floor in the middle of it. I half-walk, half-tumble towards him. For a terryfing moment, I think he’s dead, but then I see that he’s moving a little.  
“Kevin, it’s Mom.“  
I recognize Linda Tran’s voice. She always is really nice to me, but I don’t care at the moment. Carefully, I take Kevin’s shoulder and shake it a little as Linda keeps talking on the voicemail.  
“I know you’re at school already, and about to take the test…“  
Kevin’s eyes finally open. He looks at me for a moment, then he sits up at once. I figure he’s listening to his mom’s voice, not mine.  
“All your work will net the results we discussed.“  
Now that Kevin’s awake, all the other things come to mind. Like the test. The test we were supposed to take tomorrow… today?! We both have that thought at the same time and look at his alarm clock. Now neither of us listens to the voicemail anymore. It’s ten twenty-two.  
“Ten twenty-two?!“  
Kevin jumps up, and I stand up, too. He doesn’t even seem to think about what the hell just happened to us, or him. Instead, he rushes over to his cabinet and grabs his button-up and his bag.  
“Kevin, what are you doing?! Am I the only sane person in here?! You really want to go there, now¸and take that test?!“  
“See“, Kevin says while stuffing his pens and some paper into his backpack, “I have no idea what just happened, but what I do know is that this test is what I worked for, and I need to get a perfect, I’m already late and so are you, so why don’t you get your stuff, there gotta be a chance be both can take that te-“  
He stops mid-ramble and stares into the air, as if he was seeing something that I don’t.  
“Kevin?“ I ask carefully and step a little closer.  
He does not react. Wait, what’s that with his eyes? They are glowing. Not pseudo-golden like mine when sunlight hits them, they’re undeniably glowing, seriously, all gold-yellow.  
“Kevin“, I say louder. What is happening?!  
As fast as it came, the glowing stops. Kevin faces me. He’s back to normal, but he seems so… calm.  
“I need to be somewhere.“  
“The test? Kevin, I swear to god-“  
“Not the test.“  
Whoops. He’s not back to normal.  
“What is it then?“  
“I don’t know. I need to be there.“  
“Well that’s nice. Where?“  
Kevin looks like he’s confusing himself. Good thing he’s confusing me too, now no one knows what’s going on.  
“Do you know gut feeling?“  
“Most of my decisions are based on gut feeling.“  
“I feel like I need to be somewhere. I feel that something is calling me. I don’t know what it is nor where it is, but I have to be there.“  
I take a deep breath. I trust him. If he says something’s up, then something is up.  
“What’s the plan?“  
He looks at me thankfully, but also skeptically.  
“You want to go with me?“  
I sigh. “I haven’t got the slightest idea what’s going on. I could let myself hyperventilate right now, or I could try to find some answers.“  
Now he smiles. He’s worried, but he smiles.  
“Let’s go.“

We stole a car.  
We stole the car.  
Linda’s car.  
Great.  
Kevin still has no idea where he’s driving us. He seems to actually hear something calling because he never thinks twice when we have to take a turn. I’d rather be driving, just in case he goes sparkle-eyes again, but I don’t know how to drive. Rather inconvenient.  
We’ve been silent for the past hours. Neither of us wants to talk about what happened, mostly because it’s simply impossible. I try to shut all my thoughts about it down, because it would make me panic, and we can’t have that right now. Then, making us both flinch, Kevin’s cellphone rings. I take it out of his bag in the backseat and look at the display.  
“It’s Channing“, I say, she‘s our friend that’s also in the student council, “Should I pick up?“  
Kevin nods. I put Channing on speaker. She starts talking as soon as I accept the call.  
“Kevin, where were you today?! You missed the test, and student council, and quartet!“  
Well, thanks Channing, as if he didn’t that notice himself.  
“I took my mom’s car“, Kevin says, “I think I had a-“  
He notices the alarmed look on my face. Channing can’t know what happened.  
“-seizure or something.“  
“Gosh, are you okay? Are you driving to the hospital?“  
“Uh…“, Kevin starts, but she doesn’t let him finish.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?!“ Channing may be nice, but right now, questions aren’t, well, let’s say welcome. “What do you think I felt like when I noticed that not only you were gone, but Mila, too! Is she with you?“  
“Right here“, I say loud enough for her to hear.  
“So you two are driving to the hospital right now?“  
Just as I’m about to lie and say “Yes“, Kevin’s eyes go golden-lighty again. His voice doesn’t sound like him when he talks. I mean, it’s his voice, but it’s not his voice.  
“I’ve been chosen. It’s my birthright.“  
I don’t say anything. Yet, of course, Channing does.  
“God, Kevin, all the pressure you’ve been under… This isn’t one of those over-achiever teen meltdowns, is it?“  
I’d love to believe that, and that might be what I would have thought if I hadn’t seen it, but I know Kev, and I know how he works. This isn’t what a meltdown would look like for him. Furthermore, I’m certain that meltdowns usually don’t include invisible forces and lightning. Kevin would say the same if he weren’t headlight-boy right now.  
“I’m supposed to keep going. I’m not allowed to stop.“  
“Not allowed? Mila, what is he saying?“ Channing sounds worried. I feel bad about it, but I hang up on her, the moment that Kevin’s eyes go back to normal.  
After a few seconds in which I put Kevin’s phone back into his bag, I ask “Should we…?“  
“No.“  
Fine then. No talking about what the hell he just said.  
After more than another hour, in which we passed the border to Indiana, Kevin pulls in on a parking spot in front of a psychiatric ward.  
“Is this it?“, I ask. Kevin nods.  
“Whatever’s calling me is inside that building.“  
I shrug. “Fine, let’s grab it and come back here.“  
We get out of the car after Kevin found a parking lot. It’s the middle of the night, but hospitals are always open. Now it’s just the problem of getting inside.  
“How do we get past the reception?“  
Now Kevin’s the one shrugging. I quickly think as we look up to the building. Then, an idea strikes me.  
“I might have a plan. It’s risky and rather stupid.“  
Kevin looks at me thankfully. “Let’s try it.“

We enter the building through the main door a few minutes offset. I go first and walk straight up to the receptionist.  
“It’s after visiting hours“, she says.  
“I’m very sorry“, I say and pretend to be abashed, “I’ve been on the road for five hours now, and I really need to use the bathroom. I guess that‘s probably not possible…?“  
She looks up at me appraisingly for a few seconds. Then she smiles. “It’s fine. Down the corridor down there.“  
“Thank you so much“, I say as honest as I can and walk down the corridor behind the reception. I’m not threatening enough to be told off. Nice.  
The lady doesn’t notice that I look at her computer screens, to be more concrete the one with the patient list. I memorize some of the names while I pretend to use the bathroom. When I walk back to the reception, Kevin comes in. I pretend I haven’t seen him in some time and run towards him to hug him.  
“Hey, you‘re here?!“  
The receptionist watches us without any concern. Kevin turns towards her.  
“When I was here to visit a friend’s mother, I forgot my notebook in her room. I came to get it.“  
While the receptionist asks him about who he’s talking about, I quickly go through the names I memorized, until I choose a female one that sounds like the woman is about in her mid-forties.  
“Oh, you mean Mrs. Dexter?“, I ask Kevin. He pretends to know what I’m talking about. “I’ll go up with you. It’s Susan Dexter“, I say directed at the receptionist.  
She looks at her files. For a few seconds in which I think that our plan failed, no one says anything. Then, to my great relief, she nods.  
“Room 261. Hurry up, you two. Susan’s probably sleeping right now.“  
“We’ll be quiet“, Kevin promises.

“I can’t believe this worked“, Kevin says as I follow him up a staircase to the next floor, where he seems to feel whatever’s calling him.  
“Are you questioning my skills?!“, I ask jokingly.  
We both know he does. Of course, he saw me nailing violin solos and hard exams and making it look easy, and he saw me boxing one of those hit-machines at a funfair so hard that I broke the record set by 200 lbs/90 kg muscle-man. But, he also saw me hitting myself with my violin case, watched me having to use my inhaler because I started crying because I saw a baby fawn in his mom’s backyard that was just too damn small, caught me sneaking back into the dorms we’re staying at because I wanted to watch the sunset and observed me telling off a weirdo that hit on me by screaming at him like a pterodactyl. I guess Kevin does have the right to question my skills.  
We reach the second floor when Kevin looks around.  
“This floor?“, I ask. He nods and starts walking down the empty hallway.  
He’s about to go around a corner when I hear someone talking. I grab Kevin’s arm and pull him back, so now we’re up against the wall next to each other, listening to the conversation.  
“I’ll hit the road then“, a female voice says, “Let me just go get my angel.“  
“Meg, what are you talking about? Stop.“  
I take a look around the corner. A tall man with rather long hair and his back towards us talks to a dark-haired woman. One room that’s not illuminated has its door opened.  
“In there“, Kevin whispers, “It’s in that room.“  
I nod. As quick as possible without making any noise, we sneak towards the room.  
“We both call, who do you think Cas will come to? I’m guessing me“, the woman says. Cas- that’s an odd name.  
Luckily, neither her nor long-hair notice as we enter the room behind them.  
“You heard him, thorny beauty, blah blah. I’m the saint who stayed with him. He owes me. His words.“ Actually, the woman sounds mean. Her looks and behavior reminds me of a raven. I guess Cas is a patient or something. Maybe this is his room.  
“Okay, what about what he owes us?“, Giant asks. I wonder what Cas did and who he is to be so important to both of them. Wait, did Giant just say “us“? Is someone else around?  
I pose myself at the door, and Kevin grabs a bag that lies on the floor. He nods at me. So there are our answers.  
“Well work on him a little, maybe he’ll start crushing on you too, hot-stuff.“ Raven had Cas crush on her on purpose to use him? Meanie.  
“What you gonna do with a broken angel?“ Giant sounds confused, just as I feel. What does “broken angel“ mean?  
“I’ll take power where I can get it. I’ve got myself to look out for.“  
Kevin and I leave the room, and I’m just about to be relieved when something stupid happens. Out of habit, Kevin closes the door.   
The man and the woman stop talking when they hear the noise. I grab Kevin’s arm, and we start running.  
“Back to the car, back to the car, back to the car“, I chant in my head to make myself run faster. If we could just make it to the car, we could escape the man and the woman. If they catch us… I don’t even know. What are we supposed to say? ‘Hi, I’m Mila and this is Kevin, he got struck by lightning and now his eyes go sparkly every now and then, sorry that we stole your bag, but a voice told him to drive five hours to get it‘?!  
We finally reach the reception.  
“Thanks, we got it!“, I throw over my shoulder at the receptionist, that looks at us in utter confusion.  
Kevin opens the door and we run outside. The parking spot is a little far away from the main entrance. We don’t waste our time by going the long way over the cobblestone, but take the shortcut over the grass. When parking, we didn’t estimate that we would have to escape. Could’ve thought of that. Instead of running towards our parking lot immediately, Kevin, who runs in front of me with the bag in his hands, takes a turn and runs around a corner of the building. Out of sight, shielded by the wall, we try to catch our breath. Kevin smiles at me a little, and I smile back. We did it.  
Or… not. From the corner of the wall, coming from the main entrance, I can see a tall figure pausing. It’s Giant. He must’ve followed us.  
I tuck at Kevin’s sleeve. He looks at me questioningly, then, realization overcomes him. He slowly turns around to the man that’s about 15 meters / 50 feet away, just when he spots us, too. For a heartbeat, we just stare at each other. Then, Kevin and I turn around and start running.  
“Hey!“, the man shouts behind us.  
We run zigzag, which gives him a disadvantage because of his height.  
“Leave us alone!“, Kevin shouts back.  
Suddenly, there’s Raven, and she’s right in front of us. She reaches out and Kevin runs directly into her arm, falling to the ground.  
Now, to recap the situation: Kevin’s down, Giant’s behind me and Raven is standing in front of me. So I do what anyone in my situation would do:  
I punch her right in the face.  
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t usually punch people I just met. But nothing about this is usual, not even Raven, because even though her nose is bleeding, she doesn’t look like she’s feeling any pain, and rather looks at me with something like surprise written in her facial expressions.  
So, again, I do what anyone would do: I get ready to punch her again. Unfortunately, I forgot about long-hair behind me. He grabs me, and half-pushes, half-throws me away, making me fall down next to Kevin. I sit up, but don’t stand up. I wonder what my chances are to live. Kevin must have thought the same, because he looks up to our opponents in sheer fear. Raven and Giant watch us.  
“Not demons nor chompers“, Raven says, watching us closely, “What are you?“  
“None of your business“, I think, but I’m too scared to actually say it. Instead, Kevin answers.  
“I’m Kevin Tran and that’s Mila Jones“, he says fearfully, “We’re in Advanced Placement… Please don’t kill us!“  
“I’m not gonna kill you“, Giant says. Finally some good news.  
He reaches for the bag and pulls it up, but Kevin doesn’t let go of it, so Giant simply picks him up, too. I stand up with them.  
“I’m sorry“, Kevin says, and he sounds like he really is, as the man shakes him a little, but he doesn’t let go. “I don’t know why, but can’t let go of this.“  
Raven and Giant look at him, at me, each other and then Kevin again. Then, Giant puts one hand on his shoulder.  
“We’ll figure this out.“  
Raven smiles at me, but more arrogant than anything else.  
They bring us back into the ward, without another word. We all know that no one could be so dumb and try to fight and escape in Kevin’s and my situation. The receptionist doesn’t bother us. Raven is wearing a nurse’s outfit, so that’s probably why she just lets us walk through.  
We go back to the room that I suspected to be “Cas“s room. It’s still empty. Giant and Raven have us sit on the bed, Kevin still holding the bag. Raven leans against the wall, while Giant stands in front of us. He’s really tall. Kevin and I look up to him. I have no idea what to feel anymore, so I guess that’s why I’m feeling numb. At least I don’t need my inhaler. Giant sighs.  
“You two really stepped in it. Oh, man…“ One could think that Raven would struggle with her words, but she almost sounds gloating. While Kevin is still scared, I’m all calm, and I’m not proud of it, because it makes me feel cold and mean. I don’t want to be emotionless.  
“All I know is, this is…“, Kevin says and looks down to the bag in his hands, “It‘s for me“  
Giant looks down at him. He does seem to struggle with his words, at least he’s not saying anything as Kevin keeps talking.  
“I’m supposed to keep this.“  
“Good luck“, Raven says. I throw her a look over my shoulder.  
She sounds like it’s funny. Giant seems to think the same, as he looks at her too, but he doesn’t say anything to her. Instead, he just ignores her words. That’s bad, because I haven’t got the slightest idea what Raven means, and he’s the only one that could explain.  
“But you don’t know what it is?“, he asks us. Kevin and I look at each other and both shake our heads.  
Giant thinks for a second, then he seems to make a decision. “Open it“, he tells Kevin.  
Kevin looks at me. I bite my lip, but I nod. This is so weird, but in some way, we seem to get what we came here for. Kevin starts unzipping the bag and takes two items out of it. They look like pieces of a broken tablet or something, and there are strange golden symbols on it. Slowly, Kevin holds the two fragments together. The moment they touch, the repair themselves. Aw, man.  
I furrow my eyebrows and move a little closer, just as Giant does while Raven comes and stands next to him, probably to take a better look. I reach out for the third and last piece in the bag and hand it to Kevin. He puts it to the repaired part, and they merge together, just like they did before. The tablet is completely repaired, just as it may have looked before it broke. But I still can’t read the scrabble on it- even though I have the weird feeling that I should be able to. Well, that’s not making it better.  
“That’s writing“, I mumble.  
“Yeah, we get that“, Giant says. I shoot him an annoyed look. I wasn’t talking to him, and I’m not Captain Obvious.  
“What’s Leviathan?“, Kevin asks. Wait a damn minute.  
“You can read that?“, I ask confused. Giant and Raven look at him in a state of confusion and shock, but Raven hides it behind a mask of arrogance.  
“Sort of…“ Kevin shakes his head. “It hurts a little, it’s blurry, like looking through somebody else’s glasses, but that’s what it says. Leviathan. How it came to be. God locked them up far away, right?“  
I look up at Giant. Yeah, he’s not good at hiding his confusion.  
“Like, in jail…“ Kevin is still reading. He doesn’t even notice what it does to Raven and Giant. “Because they’re so… They’re…“  
He finally looks up. At me, then at Giant. I can guess what that means.  
“They’re real. Aren’t they?“, I ask.  
“Yeah Mila, they are.“ Giant finally gives some answers, and I don’t damn like them. “And they’re here.“   
Kevin looks down at the tablet. His breathing goes faster. Not good. If he starts to panic, I know for a matter of fact that I will, too.   
“Does it say anything about how to kill them? Because that’s… That’s kinda been the problem.“ Hello, earth to Giant! Explanation! Come on, man!  
“I don’t know.“ At least Kevin’s not panicking yet. “It’s not like reading-reading. It’s hard to focus on it for too long.“  
“Sam“, Raven says. So that’s the man’s name. Sad thing, I liked Giant better. “Something is up.“  
“What?“  
The lights start starts to flicker. Kevin and I look at Raven simultaneously and start screaming. Her eyes are pitch black like you would describe demons‘ eyes. We both try to get away from her in the first possible direction.  
“Kevin, Mila, hey, hey, hey!“ Sam tries to calm us down. Not working. And now that everyone except Raven is yelling, I start panicking, too, and start screaming even more. “Mila!“  
I try to stand up. Sam rushes over to stop me, but I don’t even manage to take two steps before I tumble against the wall. He tries to grab my arms to calm me down as the windows shatter. Not cool, because now I really need my inhaler, which is in my pocket, so we kinda start fighting because unfortunately, I’m still screaming and therefore can’t inform him that I need my arms right now.  
So I do what anyone wrestling with a giant would do: I stomp on his foot. And, finally, stop screaming. He didn’t expect that, so he let’s go a little, and I yank my arms out of his grip, take my inhaler and take a deep breath while taking one puff of the medicine. I feel it getting better, but I’m still breathing to fast, so I keep holding on to the inhaler, just in case. Kevin is still sitting on the bed.  
Suddenly, when I think that it’s okay, there gotta be a logical explanation for this and so on, I hear a new voice. A woman’s voice. Because there are a man and a woman standing in the room. Just, like, Hi, here we are, randomly.  
“Demon“, the woman says with a swishy hand motion.  
Raven flies through the room as if she really got thrown, and crashes against the wall. Sam pushes me back to the bed and I go down next to Kevin, back against the wall at the headpiece, panting. And watching.  
“A demon whore and a Winchester again“, the new woman says. She’s blonde and looks about 45 years old. Winchester’s a name, and "whore" is female, so Giant is actually Sam Winchester. And… there‘s a demon. Raven is a demon. That’s probably not literally. Or is it…?  
Sam takes one step towards the bed.  
“Step away from the prophet!“, Blondie hisses. Prophet? Well, that can’t be me. So… it’s Kevin. A prophet.  
This day keeps getting better.  
“Who? Me?“, Kevin asks, just to make sure. Blondie ignores me and stares at him. That’s probably a Yes.  
“Sole keeper of the Word on earth“, Blondie makes it sound like it’s solemnly to annoy strangers in a psychiatric ward, “We are here to take you.“  
“What do you mean ‘take‘?“, I ask her. Again, she ignores me. That bitch. No one just ‘takes‘ Kevin.  
“Kill the demon and her lover“, Blondie says.  
“What about her?“, her Minion speaks for the first time. Dude, I’m literally right next to you.  
Blondie squints her eyes and looks me up and down. I withstand her gaze, but I don’t even try to look intimidating. “Later.“  
Well, that sounds like a nice possible outcome. Not.  
Minion walks towards Raven and reaches out. Suddenly, Raven has a long silver blade in. She cuts his hand, and the cut starts glowing silvery, just as if Minion had glowstick-liquid in his blood.  
“Where did you get that?!“, Blondie barks, while Minion stumbles and the glowing gets a little less, and walks towards Raven. For someone without a weapon, she does look confident.  
Before Raven can answer, there’s a weird noise that sounds like flapping wings. We all look around to see another guy that just randomly appeared. He literally teleported. Cool.  
“Castiel“, Minion says. Castiel as in ‘Cas‘?  
Castiel smiles. “Hi.“ He seems pretty chill for a man wearing a hospital gown under a trenchcoat.  
“You’re alive!“, Minion says and seems really happy about it. No shit, Sherlock.  
Castiel shrugs.  
“You.“ Blondie doesn’t seem as happy as Minion. Talking about intelligence.  
“Hello, Hester.“ The smile disappears from Castiel’s face. So Hester.  
“You smote thousands in Heaven.“ Hester steps closer to Castiel. Heaven. Nice. I don’t even try to understand. “You gave a big, scary speech, then you were gone.“ Weird. Castiel doesn’t seem like that kind of person. “What the hell was that?!“, Hester shouts in Castiel’s face. Damn, she’s angry.  
“Rude, for one thing“, Castiel answers. I like him.  
“Where have you been?“, Minion asks. I don’t like him.  
“Oh, Inias.“ Castiel sounds like he’s sorry. I feel sorry, too, for the poor guy with the silly name. “Hester, I know you want something.“  
She does? Oh, that’s interesting. I wonder what she could possibly want.  
“Answers.“  
Wow. Who doesn’t?  
“And I… I wish it could be that. There are still many things I can teach you.“  
Teach her? Hester doesn’t seem like she’s willing to take advice from Castiel at the moment.  
Kevin’s breathing heavily. Understandable, but I don’t think it would be good to distract Hester right now. Carefully, I take his arm, which is still holding the bag with the tablet. He takes his other arm and holds on to mine. It’s kinda nice. Stable. He seems to calm down a little bit.  
“I can offer, um… Well, perspective.“ Poor Castiel. He really tries to get Hester to like him, and it doesn’t even work.  
“Here, pull my finger.“  
Wait, what? Castiel holds his hand up. Hester doesn’t try to hide the fact she’s not gonna pull his finger.  
“Uh… Meg will get another light and I’ll blow it out again…“  
The lights? What does this have to do with lights? And Meg… That’s gotta be Raven’s name. Bad luck, Raven fits much better.  
“Well, this time it’ll be funny and we’ll all look back and laugh.“  
I still don’t get the thing with the lights. Would Castiel blow the lights out if Hester pulled his finger? Invisible-force-like? I think it wouldn’t even surprise me. Not to be mean, but Castiel seems a little… off. Weird.  
Hester shakes her head. “You’re insane.“ Not nice! Castiel seems really friendly.  
“Hey! Heads up, sunshine“, someone new says. It’s a man standing in the doorway. He’s shorter than Sam, but he still looks a little older than him. And not to be weird or anything, but his facial features a pretty perfect.  
He slams his hand at something on the wall outside. There’s a really bright light and I have to close my eyes. When I open them again, Hester, Inias and Castiel are gone. As if the man sent them away.  
“All angels blown back to their corners. We got, like, three, four hours top.“, he says and steps inside.  
Angels. Demons. Whatever Leviathans are. Heaven, hell… All of that is real. Now that Blondie, her Minion and Castiel are gone, my head starts spinning again. I have no idea what to do, and I feel every possible emotion at once. Kevin seems to have similar feelings. He starts rocking back and forth, still clinging onto my arms.  
“Meg, where did you get that?“, Sam asks Meg and points at her blade.  
“A lot of angels died this year and--“  
“WHAT’S HAPPENING?!“, Kevin screams out of nowhere. I flinch, but I’m not surprised. “WHAT’S?! HAPPENING?!“; he repeats when no one answers. The man that beamed the… ‘angels‘ away looks at us sitting on the bed.  
“What is that?“, he asks Sam dryly.  
“We’re right here“, I hiss. The man looks a little surprised. I avoid his gaze. It just came over me, I didn’t mean to say anything.  
“These are Kevin Tran and Mila Jones“, Sam answers, “They’re in Advanced Placement.“  
“Ah“, the man says as if that would explain anything at all. “Listen here, kids…“

“So, uh“, Kevin says after the man finished his explanation, “These Leviathans, these monsters… are real?“  
“And demons and angels?“, I add, “With wings?“  
“No“, Sam answers, “Uh, no wings. Not any, uh--“  
“No junk“, Dean says, “Junk-less.“  
“Oh thank god, I got scared for a second“, I mumble sarcastically.  
“So, Kevin“, the man says and leans against the windowsill, “You can, uh, read the chicken-scratch on the God-rock, huh?“  
“Uh“, Kevin starts, but the man interrupts him for some reason. Rude.  
“That is back in one piece, I see. And you’re saying there’s some sort of… ‘How to punch a Dick‘ recipe in there somewhere?“  
The real question here is: Why would you need a recipe to punch a Dick?  
“I don’t know what you’re saying“, Kevin says. Oh come on, that’s how I’ve been talking for years. “But it seems kind of like an in case of emergency note.“  
“What did they mean by ‘prophet‘?“, I ask, “They said Kevin’s a prophet, what does that mean?“  
The man’s gaze goes from me to Kevin. “No. Really?“, he asks Sam.  
“That’s what the angels said, yeah.“  
“I don’t want to be a prophet“, Kevin says pleadingly.  
“No“, the man says, “You don’t at all.“ Well, who’s Captain Obvious now.  
“Gentleman, M‘lady“, Meg says. She hasn’t said anything the whole time Sam and his companion explained to Kevin and me what was happening. “We gotta start running and hiding, or do you want to tangle with those wing-nuts twice?“  
“I’m sorry“, the man says. It sounds more like ‘Excuse me, what the hell did you just say to me?!‘ “Did you just say ‘we‘?“  
To be honest, princess, as far as I’m concerned, Meg helped us. But I also guess she’s a demon. However that works.  
“I’m on the angels‘ radar now“, Meg answers, “You think I don’t need a little safety in numbers?“  
I don’t get why Meg and the man don’t get along. They actually seem to be a little similar, judging by their phrasing and charisma.  
The man sighs. “Alright, we go to Rufus‘ cabin. Kid can do his book report there.“  
“What about me?“, I ask. Great, you’re not a prophet and immediately nobody cares about you. First I get ignored, then ignored, threatened, ignored and ignored again.  
The man looks at Sam. Sam shakes his head and looks a little indignant. “Dean, we can’t just leave her here.“ So the Disney princess’s called Dean. Good to know.  
Dean sighs again. “We don’t even know her. She has nothing to do with this.“  
“She’s sitting right here“, I say. Damn it. Now they all look at me. I try not to blush, but now that I started talking, I can also finish. “Today, I watched Kevin get strucked by lightning, stole his mother’s car, drove five hours, missed a very important exam, accepted that his eyes go Edward-Cullen-sparkly, tricked the receptionist, sneaked in and out behind your backs, punched Meg in the face- sorry about that by the way- got threatened to get killed by Blondie and her Minion, got ignored again and again and again, then you told me that Heaven and Hell are real with everyone in it, and now you just want to leave me here because you don’t know me? You haven’t even told me your name yet.“  
Dean looks impressed. He didn’t expect that. Well, me neither.  
“Fine then“, he says, “Let’s go.“

After something that feels like two decades of driving, we stop at a gas station. I barely even realize it, because Kevin and I fell asleep after about two hours on the backseat. I just woke up for a few seconds to blink into broad daylight and see the gas station, then I fall back into a half-sleep half-conscious state on Kevin’s shoulder, as I sit in the middle and he’s sleeping against the window anyways. That way, I kinda overhear something Sam, who just came back from buying some snacks inside the gas station, tells Dean.  
“…like Mila and Kevin went missing and it’s federal. Where’s Meg?“  
“I’m here“, Meg says.  
“Great“, Dean says, “So now we’re kidnappers?“  
“Great“, I think, “So now I’m kidnapped?“  
“Not if we shut up about it“, Meg replies. “Why, who’d we kidnap?“  
That seems to satisfy Sam and Dean for now, because I can hear them get back into the car.

After we drove for another few hours, so now it’s dark, in which I stayed in my no-moving-yet-being-awake state, I can feel Kevin moving. I take my head from his shoulder as he wakes up. He looks around in the car and spots Meg on my other side.  
“Oh God.“  
“What?“, Meg asks.  
“Nothing.“ Well, I can guess what he just thought. “Nothing, just… life.“ Looks like I was right.  
“The future“, I add.  
“Our friends“, Kevin continues as Meg’s cellphone rings. She picks up. I don’t care.  
“Your mom’s car“, I remind him. This may be not helpful. No, it is not helpful, but now that we started this, we should bring it to an end.  
“Yeah? Yeah Castiel, it’s me“, Meg says on her phone.  
“Cas? Where, where is he?“, Dean asks and turns around.  
“Shut up“, Meg says. “No, Cas, you talk. Perth?“  
“Perth?“, Dean repeats, “As in Australia?“  
Meg keeps talking to Cas. “What dogs? He says he’s surrounded by unhappy dogs. Uh-huh. A dog track in Perth. They’re unhappy because the rabbit’s fake. Listen, we’re on Highway 94, north of St. Cloud, Minnesota, just passing mile marker 79.“  
There’s a whoosh. And there’s Cas, huddled in the backseat between me and Meg. Kevin gasps. I put my hand over my mouth to prevent making a weird noise.  
“Kevin, Mila“, Meg says, “This is Castiel.“  
“I guessed that“, Kevin mumbles under his breath.  
“You’re an angel“, I say. Whoever would’ve thought.  
Cas reaches out to my face. And boops my nose.  
“Boop. Nice to see you again.“ He turns around to Meg. “Meg, are you hurt?“  
“Shut up“, she says. But it sounds soft.  
“Cas, what happened back there?“, Dean asks, “Who were those guys?“  
Angels named Hester and Inias. Duh.  
“They’re from the Garrison. My old Garrison. Looks like Hester’s taken over. We were assigned to watch the Earth.“ Castiel looks amused. “Often it was boring. Your wars are very boring. Sex. The repetition.“  
I wonder what he would say if I told him plenty of these wars are fought because of them- because of religion.   
“Anyways, I was… I was their captain. Isn’t that strange?“, he asks Meg.  
“Cas“, Sam says from the passenger seat in the front, “Why are they pissed at us now?“  
Cas keeps talking to Meg. “Those racing dogs were absolutely miserable. They can only think in ovals--“  
“Cas, don’t make me pull this car over!“, Dean snaps from the driver’s seat, “Why are angels after us?“  
“Are you angry?“ Cas sounds worried. “Why are you angry?“  
“No, I’m…“ Dean growls. “Please, could we just stay on target?“  
“There’s no reason for anger. They’re only following protocol. If the Word of God is revealed, a Keeper of the Word will awaken. Like this hot potato right here.“ Castiel reaches over and boops Kevin’s nose.  
“Please, stop that“, he says, but Cas is already done.  
“Anyways, Garrison code dictates“, Castiel continues his explanation, “You take the Keeper to the desert to learn the Word away from men.“  
“That doesn’t make sense“, I say, because it really doesn’t. “Why would there be a Keeper or even a Word itself if nobody is supposed to make use of it?“  
Castiel shrugs. “God and his shiny red apples.“ Whatever that means.  
“I can’t live in the desert“, Kevin says loudly, “I’m applying to Princeton!“  
“Okay, you know what?“, Dean says annoyed, “Screw the Garrison. We need the tablet to end Dick Roman’s Soylent Us crap.“  
Dick Roman? The guy that was all over the news and is applying for president? He’s a… leviathan? Great. I love how this country is going.  
Castiel leans forward. “If you want the word, you‘ll have to duck Hester and her soldiers.“ Well, that sounds easy. Just some angels that want to snatch Kevin.  
“We got you in our corner, right, Cas?“, Sam asks.  
“Oh, I don’t fight anymore. I watch the bees.“  
That sounds calm. I’d love to watch the bees, too, and not having to worry about the future. Or my best friend being kidnapped.  
Neither Sam nor Dean or Meg reply to that. But it’s obvious that this discussion isn’t over yet. So we drive in silence.

Finally, we stop in front of a cabin in the woods. I wonder where the guy, Rufus, is at the moment. We all go inside. It’s pretty, and cleaned up. If it weren’t for the absurd situation, I’d love to spend a weekend here. Dean takes Kevin and me downstairs to the basement. Well, he takes Kevin to the basement, and I follow them.  
“I’m sure you’re hungry“, Dean says as we go down the stairs, “So once we get settled in upstairs, we’ll get some dinner going.“ Finally. Now that he says it, I notice that I actually am pretty hungry.  
We reach the end of the staircase and end up in a one-room basement. In the middle, there’s a chair with ropes on the armrests that look like they’re being used to tie someone to the chair. Next to it, there’s a table with all kinds of blades and gross stuff on it.  
“This looks like a sex-torture dungeon“, Kevin says. It may be weird, but the idea seems kind of funny to me. “Is this a sex-torture dungeon?“  
I elbow Kevin, careful not to hit the bag with the tablet. Well, it wouldn’t have been a problem if I did, because we already know Kevin can repair it in a heartbeat.  
Dean looks up, a crescent in his hand. “Now, this is not a sex-torture--“ He interrupts himself and wags with the blade. “Get over here. Sit down and read, would you?“  
Kevin swallows, but he goes over to the table with the weapons where Dean made some space, sits down in the one chair standing there and takes the tablet out of his bag. Dean takes the other chair, the one with the ropes. A little rude, but I wouldn’t have wanted to sit in there anyways. Instead, I sit down on the third step of the staircase, from where I can still see everything. Kevin takes a notebook and a pen out of the bag and starts writing.  
And he writes.  
And writes.  
It’s getting boring.   
I distract myself from my swirling thoughts about the Paranormal by fumbling around with my hair. I haven’t brushed it. Not that it would have changed anything if I did, they are so curly that it makes no difference.  
Kevin’s breathing slowly gets heavier and faster. Suddenly, he jumps up from his chair and leans against the table. I stand up and go stand next to him. Dean, who has spent his time relaxing in his chair, doesn’t even open his eyes.  
“Kevin“, he says. Is that annoyance that I sense?!  
“This is all too much“, Kevin says while panting. I put my hand on his shoulder. He turns around to me. “What happened to our life?“ I shake my head. I wish I had answers.  
“I don’t know.“ Seeing Kevin this helpless and desperate for answers makes my head spin faster.  
I concentrate on my breathing for a second. It doesn’t help. I use my inhaler and try to calm down. Finally, Dean opens his eyes and looks up.  
“We’re just some kids from Michigan“, Kevin says. It sounds almost sad. “I didn’t want to be a Word Keeper. How do you stay so calm?!“ The last part is directed at me. I feel so sorry. For him. And for myself. Shame on me.  
Deans stands up. “Looks like we’re brown-bagging it.“ He takes a brown paper bag from the table.  
“I can’t factor the supernatural into my worldview yet, so I try not to think about it too hard“, I tell Kevin. It doesn’t seem to help.  
“Yeah, see, the supernatural just exists and now we’re just supposed to--“  
He gets interrupted by Dean putting the bag over his mouth.  
“Okay, here we go“, Dean says as Kevin takes the bag and starts breathing into it. “That’s it, just breathe, take your girlfriend as an example.“  
“I ain’t his girlfriend“, I hiss. Dean shrugs.  
The last time I saw Kevin breathing into a brown bag was when we had to take our first exam ever. I just pat his shoulder as he calms down. Dean sighs.  
“I don’t know, man, what can I say? You’ve kinda been chosen. And it sucks, believe me.“ Well, how would he know? But I’m not one to judge his past. Kevin slowly puts the bag down. “There’s no use asking ‘Why me?‘. Because the angels… They don’t care. I think maybe they just don’t have the equipment to care.“  
He seems to be thinking, maybe about Castiel and how he doesn’t want to help us. He may be thinking that Cas doesn’t care. But I understand that Castiel did care. Before whatever happened to him made him break. Dean sits back down and Kevin grabs the pen again.  
“It seems like every time they try, it breaks them apart.“  
So my theory was correct. For Dean, this is about Castiel. About what broke him. And it looks like it had something to do with caring for someone. Judging by his phrasing, Dean was the one Cas cared about. So much that it broke him.  
“I just want to be the first Asian-American President of the United States.“  
Yeah, that was always Kevin’s dream. That was the dream we made up a long time ago. Kevin becomes President and I get to be his best FBI agent-friend that always plays the violin at big events, and then we throw a party in The White House. Dean looks at us. He looks like he cares.  
“Then do your homework.“  
We all sit back down, and Dean closes his eyes again. “We’ll go back“, I tell myself, “We will be allowed to take the test again because we got kidnapped. Then all goes back to normal.“ But deep inside, I feel that everything’s going to change.  
After some more minutes, I can hear Sam calling for Dean. He goes upstairs, and they talk. I don’t understand anything, but I don’t really care anyways.  
Some more time passes. Kevin just reads, and writes, and reads, and writes. I can hear the front door open and close again. Some talking. I can’t make out any words, but it’s only Sam, Dean, Meg and Castiel. No one new.  
Just when I stand up and look over Kevin’s shoulder, to see that he already came rather far with, let’s call it ‘translating‘, I can hear something like an explosion upstairs. Kevin and I flinch. He stands up, and we sneak towards the staircase a little, just to hear what’s going on.  
“You took the prophet from us!“  
Hester goddamn found us. Castiel apologizes for some reason.  
“You have fallen in every way imaginable.“ Ohhh. That sounded like an insult.  
“Please, Castiel.“ Is that Minion? It sounds like him. “We have to follow the code. Help us do our work.“  
“He can’t help you.“ That’s Dean. “He can’t help anybody.“ Sad truth.  
“We don’t need his help. Or his permission.“ Hester keeps getting less sympathetic.  
Then, I hear footsteps. Not upstairs. In this room. I turn around to see Minion coming towards us. Kevin grabs the tablet from the table. Minion grabs us, each by one shoulder. And then, suddenly…  
We’re upstairs. Sam, Dean, Castiel, Meg and Hester look at us. Or, probably, just Kevin. We just teleported. Weird. Cool. Or something.  
“The keeper goes to the desert tonight.“  
“No.“ Dean looks like he’s willing to fight. “Give us some time with the prophet. We can get rid of the leviathans, something one of your angels started.“  
Hester looks at him calculating. “Why would we give you anything, after everything you’ve taken from us? When Castiel first laid his hand on you in hell, he was lost.“  
I hope that’s just a metaphor.  
“Whoa, whoa, whoa“, I say. And for some reason, I laugh. I must look insane. “Back off.“ Inias lets go of me and Kevin. Talking about being threatening. “Are you stupid or something?“  
Now they’re all staring at me again. I concentrate on Hester.  
“So what about your freaky protocol? Can’t you think for yourself? I thought angels were supposed to be smart!“  
Hester looks outraged. I should be scared. Looks like I’m the stupid one, because I’m actually amused.  
“I mean, let’s be honest. Who’s pushing you around? God?“  
No answer. Hester looks madder with every word I say. I should really stop talking. But it looks like my brain decided that Hester is probably going to kill me anyways, so why not annoy her? I mean, when will I ever get the chance again to annoy a multidimensional being?  
“Well, look at this“, I say and turn around dramatically, “He’s not here!“  
“Mila, stop.“, Sam mumbles.  
“But this is just starting to get fun! Look at her face!“  
I point at Hester.  
“She looks like she’s going to explode.“  
Okay, that’s it, I’m done. Crossing my arms, I take a small step back, but stay as far away as possible from Inias and his sticky hands. That felt great. I can see Meg and Dean grinning. Sam and Castiel look worried, Kevin is scared but impressed. Inias looks like he’s waiting for orders, and Hester looks like the boss in a video game sequence.  
“Look, Hester“, Castiel says. He sounds like a lost puppy. “They’re the ones we were put here to protect.“ Naw. That sounds kind of cute, actually.  
Hester looks at him. “No, Castiel.“ She sounds soft. “I don’t care about teenage girls making fun of me. I don’t care about all the humans out there. I really don’t. But what I do care about, it’s us. It’s heaven.“ With that, she punches him in the face. Castiel goes down to the ground.  
Dean and Sam try to run towards him, but two other guys that I haven’t noticed before step in front of them and hold two fingers up. It looks like a gang sign you’d do in elementary school. I decide to help Castiel, too, but Inias puts his arm around my neck and pulls me back against him, almost choking me, but now quite. Now all I can do is watch how Hester beats Castiel.  
“No more madness“  
Punch.  
“No more promises“  
Punch.  
“No more New Gods!“  
No more? So that’s what broke Castiel, he cared about Dean so much that he tried to be a new God? That sounds like it’s from a sappy romantic song.  
Hester beats Castiel in the face until blood is running down his chin. Then, a blade, just like the one Meg used to cut Inias back in the hospital, slips out of her sleeve. She holds it up and looks like she’s about to kill Cas. She’s about to kill Cas?! Random angel #1 seems to think the same, he rushes over and holds her back.  
“Please, Hester. There’s so few of us left.“  
Hester looks like she’s about to cry. Doesn’t fit her actions, as she punches her companion in the face.  
“You wanted free will?“, she asks Castiel. “Now I’m making the choices.“ She lifts the blade up higher. Castiel does nothing to defend himself.  
Then, out of nowhere, Meg steps up to her from behind. And literally stabs her in the back. With her blade. Where blood should be is glowing light, just like back when she cut Inias, also Hester’s eyes start glowing. Then, it all stops. Hester falls to the ground. She’s dead. Inias lets go of me and Kevin, and the other two random angels step away from Sam and Dean. I can’t help but stare at the corpse.  
“What?“, Meg asks, “Somebody had to.“  
I shrug and pretend it doesn’t bother me.

Kevin has reached the last symbol. He’s sitting next to me at the table in the main room of the cabin. Sam sits on my other side. Inias and Castiel are talking about how these are strange times. Dean comes over to us, just as Kevin closes his notebook. He hands it over to Sam. He did it.  
“Thanks, Kevin.“, Sam says, “Both of you. Not a lot of people could’ve handled this.“  
I smile. Kevin looks relieved.  
“You’re doing alright there, chosen one?“, Dean asks.  
Kevin nods. “Yeah.“  
“Are you ready, Kevin Tran and Mila Jones?“, Inias asks.  
We stand up. The two other angels come over and each stands next to one of us.  
“Bring them back home“, Inias tells the angels. “We can watch over the Keeper from there.“  
One of the angels puts his hand on my shoulder. It whooshes, and we’re gone.  
It takes me a second to understand where we are. But I recognize the kitchen curtains and the street outside. And the woman next to a man I don’t know.  
“Mom!“  
“Kevin!“  
Linda Tran rushes over to hug Kevin. Then, she pulls me in, too. Like I said before, she’s always really nice to me. She was worried about me, too.  
After she pulls away, she looks at the angels that brought us here.  
“Who are you?“  
“It’s okay, Mom. They brought us back. They’re keeping us safe“, Kevin reassures her.  
My feeling was wrong. Everything will go back to normal, and we can retake the test, and Kevin and I will throw a party in The White House.  
“I don’t believe that’s true“, the stranger says and walks towards our angels. Right, the suspicious FBI agent needs to be convinced, first. “Rock beats scissors“, he says.  
And grabs right through the angel that teleported me.  
Right into his stomach.  
Black liquid gushes out of his mouth as the angel falls to the ground.  
“Leviathan beats angel.“  
He grabs into the other angel.  
He spits black liquid.  
He goes down.  
They’re dead.  
The agent turns around to us and shifts. Into another man that I don’t know. But he looks like an idiot.  
“Hello there“, he says. Ignoring Linda, he steps closer and looks at me, then at Kevin.  
I was right.  
Everything will change.

And nothing will ever be like it was before.


	2. 7x22 -  Kidnapped, for real this time

For the hundredth time, I need to focus on my breathing and make sure I don’t freak out. If I would get an asthma attack now, or if I’d just need my inhaler, I’d probably die because I can’t reach it right now. By the way, my hands are tied up behind the chair I’m sitting in, and there’s duct tape on my mouth.  
After the weird man, that, just as an aside note, is sitting in front of me, killed the two angels assigned to protect Kevin and me, he kidnapped us and Kevin’s mother, Linda Tran. I think he might be a leviathan, but I can’t be sure yet, even though it’s pretty obvious.  
The idiot took the leviathan tablet away from Kevin while he blindfolded us and put us in a truck. I still don’t know where they keep it, I haven’t seen it since. The same applies to Linda. After the idiot and some other guys brought us into this building and took our blindfolds off, she wasn’t there. I guess she’s held captive somewhere else.  
So it’s Kevin and me, tied to chairs, in this really minimalistic room with white walls and a white table, together with Idiot.  
As he’s the prophet, I understand why Kevin is here. I think it’s about the translation of the Leviathan tablet he made for Sam and Dean. I wish the two of them knew what happened. But they’re not here, even though I am for some reason. At first, I thought it was just because I already know too much, but I figured they would have killed me in that case. So the only use that I can think of that they could possibly make of me… Is using me to force Kevin to do his prophet-stuff and work for them.  
Idiot watches me as I shift in my chair, but I don’t even try anything. He’s very cautious with us. Just like a helicopter mother. As if we would get far, even if we could get out of this room.  
Finally, through the glass door through which one can observe some office tables, a man steps into the room.  
“Kevin“, he says with a big smile, “Dick.“  
“Actually, it’s ‘Mila‘ “, I think. I’ll add Dick Roman to the list of people that ignore me because I’m not a prophet.  
“I’m very excited to meet you.“  
Kevin looks like he’d like to vomit at the sight of the very popular man. So this actually is about Leviathans, as the Winchesters mentioned that Dick’s one. I still don’t need a recipe to punch him.  
“You nervous? Don’t be.“, Dick says and sits down. I hate him so much, and I don’t even know him.  
“I’m your biggest fan.“  
I don’t know why, but that statement in combination with Idiot’s expressionless face amuses me. I bet he’d love to take Dick down.  
Finally, Dick rips the duct tape off Kevin’s face. He’s panting, looking anywhere but at Dick, mostly at me. I try to make a funny face. It doesn’t help. Who would’ve thought?  
“I brought you a present.“, Dick says and pulls the suitcase he brought with him closer.  
He opens it up and takes the tablet out, putting it down in front of Kevin. At least it’s in one piece. Not that it would be a problem. Dick watches Kevin’s reaction closely.  
“What’s it say, Kev?“, he asks. Great, now I’ll need to think of a new nickname because I’ll sure as hell won’t be using that one ever again.  
Kevin shakes his head. “I don’t know.“  
“Cute. Edgar.“  
Edgar? That’s worse than Idiot. The man stands up and goes around the table. He takes a knife out of his pocket. Shit. He’s standing directly behind me. I notice that I whimper and try to stop, but then Edgar leans down to me. I’d love to take some deep breaths, but relaxing isn’t that easy when there’s a monster standing directly behind me with a knife and is leaning so close that I can feel his breath next to my ear.  
“Easy, Edgar. Don’t scare the girl.“  
Edgar takes my duct tape off carefully. Ew. At least I can breathe now. Then, he cuts off the rope holding Kevin’s hands together.  
“You know, I’ve checked, Kevin“, Dick says as Edgar throws the snapped rope on the table, only getting the attention back after I gave Kevin a reassuring nod, confirming that I’m okay, “You and the girl, you’re number one in your classes. Winner of the Chad Kennedy Top Young Scientist-Partners Prize – again, with her.“ Dick nods in my direction. “All that on top of Keeper of the Word.“  
Dick opens a laptop and pushes it towards Kevin. “You’re a clever young man. I’m confident you’ll make the right choice here.“  
I try to get a look at the website. There is no website. It’s the home screen. I don’t get it. Kevin neither, as he does nothing.  
“But I see this is a negotiation.“  
Oh really? I haven’t noticed. Dick takes an envelope out of his suitcase.  
“Well, I will sweeten the pot.“  
I move my hands a little. I’m still tied up. These guys are weird. I just want to go home. Edgard, who’s still behind me, pokes his finger in my shoulder. It’s a warning. How I hate this not-really-a-man.  
Dick slides the envelope over to Kevin.  
“What is it?“, Kevin asks as he opens it and takes out a printed document.  
“My sources tell me that you’re applying to Princeton“, Dick replies.  
Oh no.  
He didn’t.  
“Letter of recommendation like that from a man like me? Done.“  
Bribery? He seriously thinks Kevin’s gonna fall for that? I try to remain silent. Edgar still has his knife somewhere behind me.  
Kevin shakes his head. “I can’t do it.“  
“I admire your gumption, kid“, Dick says with a smile that’s supposed to be friendly. It’s a politician‘s smile. A liar’s smile. “But I still think there’s some wiggle-room here.“  
“Please don’t be talking about me, please don’t be talking about me, please don’t… aaaaand he pointed at me.“  
“I tell you what.“ Dick leans towards Kevin. “Let’s kick it up a notch, see if I can’t change your mind.“  
Kevin remains silent, so he decides to move on to more drastic arguments.  
“By the way, your mother is still held captive“, Dick informs Kevin, as if he was talking about the weather, “But that’s not the main point, is it, Edgar?“  
Edgar nods. I can hear him step closer to me.  
And there goes my controlled breathing. Again.  
I don’t register the blade at my neck until I understand it’s supposed to be there. I try to get away, but no chance. Edgar grabs some of my hair and holds my head steady, knife still at my throat.  
“Mila!“  
There are so many emotions in how Kevin says that. Mostly fear. Dick smiles.  
“What’s so funny?!“, I hiss. I seem to have a tendency to get pissed at people that are trying to kill me.  
Dick ignores me. “Well, I guess this negotiation is completed.“  
Edgar lets go of my hair and takes the knife away. I can feel a little blood at my throat. Edgar cut me a little bit, probably on accident. Kevin looks at me with tears in his eyes. Actually, I’m about to cry, too. If Kevin doesn’t participate in whatever Dick’s plan is, Edgar is going to kill me. Well, probably he’ll hurt me first. So either I die or get tortured, or Kevin cooperates with the monsters that want to complete whatever harmful plan they thought of.  
Dick stands up.  
“You drive a hard bargain, kid.“

“That’s some bracing prose you’re putting down there, Kevin“, Dick says.  
As Kevin translated, Dick had moved closer and closer, so now he’s standing directly behind him and looks over his shoulder to see the laptop’s screen Kevin’s typing on. Edgar on the other hand sat down next to me, his hand with the knife very obvious on the table. As a threat, I guess. My hands actually hurt now, as they’ve been bound for quite some time now. I just hope once Kevin’s done, Edgar will cut the ropes, too.  
Finally, Kevin sinks back in his chair. Dick looks at him.  
“You’re all done?“  
“Mm-hm.“ Kevin nods.  
“You’ve done well. Princeton will be lucky to have you.“  
I hate this. And that Dick is still ignoring me. So I think, finally, after all these hours, it’s my turn to talk.  
“What about--“, it sounds like a whisper. I clear my throat and try again. “What about Linda?“  
Dick nods at Edgar. For a second, I think he’s telling him to hurt me, but then Dick gives him an order.  
“Make the call.“  
Edgar turns away from us in his chair as he takes out his phone and presses one number. Whoever he’s calling, he has them on speed dial.  
“Release her, but stress the consequences of talking“, Edgar orders the mystery-monster he’s talking to, then he hangs up and turns back to us.  
Dick has been awfully quiet. There’s something going on, he’s been pacing a little. Then, he finally talks, and it’s not what I wanted to hear.  
“Kevin, Mila, I’m gonna request the pleasure of your company just a tad longer.“  
That’s really not what I wanted to hear. But I say nothing. Kevin pretends to be unbothered, too.  
“You, on the other hand“, Dick says directed at Edgar, “I need to drop in on an old friend.“  
Edgar chuckles. That’s not a good sign. He stands up, and he and Dick leave the room and close the glass door behind them. There’s no one left at the office table. Looks like they all went home.  
After they left, Kevin waits exactly ten seconds, then he gets up, takes the knife Edgar left (probably on purpose) and cuts the ropes holding me back. Finally. I can literally see the red stripes on my wrists. I jump up and hug him. We just stand there, without a word, and don’t let go.  
I think I could never let go.


	3. 7x23 -  How to punch a Dick

For the fifth time in twenty minutes, Kevin tries the doorknob.  
“Stop that“, I say. “No, sorry, I just… I wanna go home.“  
We’ve been in this room for hours. There are some chairs that look comfortable, but even though I’m tired, I don’t want to sleep. I don’t think I could, even if I tried. A leviathan, Royce, locked us in here shortly after Dick and Edgar left us in the room with the glass door.  
Kevin shakes his head. “I get it. Me too.“  
Just when he steps away from the grey door, the lock clicks. We both turn around. The door opens and Royce comes in with a blonde girl about our age that’s chewing on some sweets and looks a little too unbothered for the situation.  
“Sit. Stay.“, Royce says as if he was talking to a dog.  
Weirdly enough, the girl actually follows his orders and sits down in one of the chairs. Is she a leviathan, too? Because even though she looks human, she could be anything. She looks like she’s that one girl in the group of Mean Girls in high school that laugh about how your sneakers don’t fit your jacket that only participates in jokes because she’s scared of what they could do to her. In other words: A less intelligent scaredy cat that can’t state her own opinion in a proper way. Royce locks the door behind him as he leaves. We watch the girl closely. Kevin looks at me. I shrug. If he’s asking, then he should be the one talking first.  
“I’m Kevin“, Kevin introduces himself, “And this is Mila.“  
The girl looks up to him as she hadn’t seen us before. “Polly.“  
I smile a little. Maybe she’s not so bad after all. “What are you doing here?“  
“Sitting, I guess.“  
Okay. Talking about being less intelligent.  
“Are you a prophet?“, Kevin asks.  
God, I hope she’s not. Or, actually, why not, then maybe Kevin and I could leave. Polly takes a bite of her sweets and doesn‘t answer. This is way too frustrating.  
Kevin seems to think the same. He turns towards me. “So, basically, we’re on our own then.“

We try to think of a plan. We really do. But there is literally nothing we can do. Polly doesn’t say another word. Kevin starts pacing up and down, hands in his pockets. Then, the door opens again, and Royce comes in with some clothes in a transparent bag attached to a clothing hanger. He hangs it to a little hook on the wall.  
“Get dressed“, he tells Polly, then he leaves again.  
“What a weirdo“, I mumble under my breath while inspecting the transparent bag. Kevin blows air through his nose really hard, as if he just saw a funny meme.  
“Why does he want you to--“  
Kevin interrupts himself. I turn around and see Polly unbuttoning her pink blouse. Nope, definitely not human, at least not as much as she should be. I grab Kevin’s arm to have him turn away from Polly and look at something interesting I found. In the bag, together with a dress and some accessories, there are some hairpins. I quickly take one. Polly doesn’t even notices.  
Looks like we do have a plan after all.

Polly changed. She’s wearing a short plain grey dress now, and a golden necklace, also she just randomly keeps standing in the middle of the room. Kevin sat down in the big chair behind the desk, meanwhile, I’m half-leaning against the desk and half-sitting on it. Finally, Royce comes in a third time, with a tray with two plates on it and some water bottles. He puts it down on the desk. There are burgers and fries on it. Bad luck.  
“We’re vegans“, I inform him.  
Royce looks at me as if he thinks I’m lying. Funnily enough, I’m not. Originally, it was a bet that Kevin and I made: Who can be a vegan the longest? But after some weeks, after we noticed that it was actually really healthy and helping the planet, we kinda stuck with it. There are still some days on which we go vegetarian, but I can’t even remember anymore when the last time was I ate meat. At least Royce doesn’t say anything mean. Instead, he turns around to Polly.  
“You ready, Polly?“  
Not interesting. I grab one of the water bottles. Kevin takes the other one.  
“Mm-hm.“  
Royce and Polly leave the room. Immediately after we hear the lock click, we stand up. I take the hairpin out of my pocket and start picking the lock. Yeah, I know, uncommon set of skills. I remember learning it at age eleven so that I could pick my bedroom locks in foster care.  
After a minute, the lock finally clicks. Carefully, Kevin opens the door. There is no one in the hallway, but I can hear voices. Kevin and I sneak towards a big glass door where they’re coming from and press against the wall next to it to listen to the conversation. It sounds like Dick’s in the middle of having a meeting with some other leviathans.  
“Alrighty, the slaughterhouses“, Dick says, “Cutting-edge, humane, efficient. The first one goes online next month.“  
Oh, great, he’s building slaughterhouses. Wait, he’s building slaughterhouses?! For humans?!  
“What’s the crowd-control strategy?“, someone asks.  
“Glad you asked“, Dick answers, “We’ve laid employees at key junctures of law enforcement, starting with the 911-call.“  
So they’re controlling the police, too?!  
“Everyone feels taken care of. Everyone stays calm.“  
Well, I sure as hell don’t.  
I look over to Kevin. We gotta do something, but there’s nothing we can do, apart from making our way out of here and help Sam, Dean and Cas kill the leviathans.  
“We’ll up the dose just before harvest time, they won’t feel a thing“, Dick explains.  
Harvest time. So leviathans are into human flesh. And there are dozens, if not thousands in this building.  
“We‘re taking a regional approach: Ohio, beta testing. Wisconsin, processing. Florida, breeding program.“  
My breathing goes heavier and less controlled. Kevin touches my arm to calm me down. It kinda works.  
“Flip to page 10“, Dick says, “We’re having a ball buying fertility clinics. Real juicy stuff.“  
Ewwwwww. That was so literal. So he’s putting drugs in the food to get some food.  
Kevin grabs my wrist. Right, we heard enough. We turn around and walk down the hallway in the other direction, away from the meeting room. At that end of the hallway, there’s another grey door. It says ‘Exit‘ over it. Exit?! We start walking faster. That’s our way out.  
And then. Last second. Right before I put my hand on the doorknob. Around a corner on the right, a lady comes towards us. We stop walking immediately. I saw her talking to Dick through the glass door in the first room we stayed in. She grins. Her teeth make me freeze. She’s a leviathan. She eats humans. And I’m human.  
“Why are you out of your cage, mouses?“, she asks.  
I prefer not to answer. Nobody talks for a second. Then, the woman makes us both turn around and walk back to the room we came from. Before she pushes us through the door, I take one last look at the exit door. We were so close. And we failed.  
In the room, the woman makes us sit down in front of the desk. She takes some duct tape and ropes out of her pockets. Yeah, completely normal equipment for a lady working in an office. She ties each of us to one table leg and puts duct tape over our mouths. We have no choice but to participate. If you need a specific recipe to kill those leviathans, they gotta have some powers, and I don’t want to test them. The woman leaves the room.  
Now we’re all alone.  
And tied up.  
Again.  
For the second time in twenty-four hours.

After we sat there for some time, doing nothing but breathing and reassuring each other with looks, talking through facial expressions, I can hear weird noises outside. First, something like a crash. Something else follows. It sounds like… Shots?! Someone’s firing a gun out there. Maybe it’s someone coming for us, to rescue us—or to get us. We wait for something to happen, for anything to happen. Then, the door blasts open. It’s Sam Winchester.  
“Mila, Kevin!“  
He runs towards us and unties us, removing the duct tape, too.  
“Okay, kids, we gotta hustle, okay?“  
Sam has no idea how happy I am to see him. I feel like I’m about to cry from relief. But his words remind me that it’s not over yet. I stand up.  
“We can’t leave yet“, Kevin says.  
I know why. I know what he’s thinking about.  
“We can. We gotta go“, Sam says urgently.  
“Dick’s got creamer in his lab“, I explain what I understood about Dick’s plan. I try to make it sound easily understandable and rational, but judging from what’s coming out of my mouth, I’m really irritated. “He’s gonna kill all the skinny people.“  
“Wait, what? Slow down.“ Funny, Sam tells me to slow down, but at the same time, he tells me to run.  
“We have to blow up the lab, Sam“, I summarize the plan I just made up the exact second I started speaking.  
“Please“, Kevin adds pleadingly, “She’s right. It’s in the food. He’ll increase the dose and put the people in slaughterhouses.“  
Sam looks like he’s arguing with himself. Finally, after looking around, he turns back to us.  
“Yeah, fine. Let’s go“, he says.  
Thank God. We burst through the door and run down the hallway. Sam is much faster than we are, and Kevin’s pretty fast, too. When I start to fall behind, Kevin grabs my wrist again. We skip down the stairs and end up in the lab. There’s a glass door. I can spot a trenchcoat through it. That’s gotta be where Cas and Dean are, hopefully, they’re about to kill Dick.  
Sam pushes the door open, just as Dean and Cas step away from Dick. He’s looking up at the ceiling, and there’s something that’s probably, but hopefully not, a bone in his neck, going right through.  
“Figured we’d have to catch you off guard“, Dean says.  
Dick growls. And then I see how Leviathans eat. Dick’s whole face vanishes, and his mouth goes as big as his head, with sharp teeth and a weirdly snake-like tongue. Black goo flies around as Dick shakes and winches. This is so disgusting. I’ll never get that picture out of my head ever again.  
Dick’s face is back in place. His black blood runs down his neck and drops on his suit.  
Then, something weird happens. Dick starts smiling. A kind of force emerges from his body in waves. Dean and Cas look like they’re confused. Dick starts laughing.  
And he explodes.  
Black stuff goes everywhere. I shield my face with my arms and squint my eyes together reflexively, and I can feel Kevin next to me doing the same.  
Then, there’s nothing but silence.  
When I take my arms away and turn around again, I can see that Sam shielded Kevin and me with his body, but nothing has happened to him. I tilt my head to see whether Dean and Cas are fine, just when Sam turns around to do the same.  
I can’t see any major injuries.  
Because they’re gone.  
There’s nobody in this room except for Kevin, Sam and me.  
“We should go“, Kevin says.  
I tuck at his sleeve and nod to the empty part of the room. Kevin gulps.  
“What the hell?“, Sam says as he takes a few steps forward.  
“Not to worry“, a new voice said. A man, almost tiny compared to Sam, with black hair, wearing a black suit with a red tie, just teleported into the room.  
“I have a small army of demons outside. Cut off the head and the body will flounder, after all“, he says. So I guess he’s the mouse king of demons. Probably he’s one himself.  
“Think if you’d had just one king since before the first sunrise- you’d be in a kerfuffle too.“  
So he’s into strange words?  
“Which is exactly what you wanted“, Sam replies. He sounds like he’s mad, but he doesn’t attack the mouse king.  
The man shrugs. “So did you. Without a master plan, Levis are just another monster. Hard to stomp, of course, but you love a challenge.“  
Kevin leans towards me.  
“I think they’ll get here soon anyways“, he whispers in my ear.  
I nod. But I don’t want to leave Sam here, all alone with the dude that, kinda like Meg, seems to be some kind of enemy to him. Also, there are demons around anyways.  
“Your job is to keep them from organizing“, the man says lordly.  
“Where’s Dean?“, Sam asks.  
Mouse king shrugs. “That bone has a bit of a kick. God weapons often do. Should put a warning on the box.“  
So it actually was a bone. Gross.  
“Where are they, Crowley?!“, Sam says loudly.  
“Can’t help you, Sam“, Crowley says.  
Weird name. Sounds fake. He snaps with his fingers.  
Suddenly, a pair of hands grab my shoulders. I look behind me to see two men, one holding me and one holding Kevin.  
Sam turns around. When he sees we’re in the hands of some dudes Crowley ordered here, he takes a few steps closer, a confused and panicked look on his face.  
“Sorry, Sam“, Crowley says, “Prophet’s mine. The girl’s a nice extra, I’m sure I’ll make some use of her.“  
I can see him lift his hand again, and I know what’s about to happen. Last moment, Kevin grabs my hand, and we hold on to each other.  
He’s here.  
I’m here.  
Then, Crowley snaps.  
And we’re gone.


	4. 8x1 -  I hate churches

“Sam Winchester, it’s Mila Jones. Crowley had Kevin and me in this warehouse and we just escaped. I don’t know where we are, and I don’t know if he or other demons are still after us. We really need your help. Call me back.“

“Sam Winchester, it’s Mila Jones. I called you a week ago. Call me back, please. I don’t know what the hell we’re doing out here, man. Kevin doesn’t want to talk to you. But I do. Really.“

“Three months since you ditched us. I haven’t slept for more than four hours a night. If you’re still alive… I don’t even know anymore.“

“Sam, it’s been six months. I can only assume you’re dead. If not, don’t try to reach me, nor Kevin. You won’t be able to. I won’t be calling this number anymore.“

The voice mails I left Sam go through my head every now and then, even though it’s been a year. For instance, I’m thinking about them right now. I’m sitting in the front row of the few pews left. Kevin and I ducked here, for what seems to be ages. We keep telling each other we’re going to move on. But until then, we’re here, stuck in this church in Fairfield, hiding from demons and angels and everyone else.  
Ever since we escaped Crowley, we had to watch our backs. Kevin could be snatched at any time, given he’s a prophet. I’m only the second choice, which sounds much worse than it is, but I’m at risk, too. Mostly because I’ve been used to force Kevin to do something multiple times. I am, as the mafia boss in a bad TV show would say, his pressure point.  
We even celebrated our birthdays here. Kevin turned seventeen, and I turned sixteen. I always wanted a party for my sixteenth birthday, with all my friends, maybe in the park or something. Instead, we bought some cake and coffee and lit all candles in the church to celebrate that we survived for another year.  
Did I ever mention I don't like churches? They’re weird. I didn’t even get to think about that until we moved here. They’re big and the paintings are scary, the ceilings are up high and, given this church is pretty old, it’s also cold. But there’s a strange overall feeling. I can’t really explain it. I didn’t talk to Kevin about it.  
He’s in one of the back rooms, where we put our stuff and some pews to sleep on. It’s actually quite comfortable, even though I hate to admit that. It feels like blasphemy.  
Suddenly, there’s a knock on the front door. I jump up, and I can hear Kevin’s footsteps coming from the backroom.  
“Mila, Kevin?“, a male voice says from the other side of the main door.  
That sounds like… No. It’s just because I thought about him.  
“It’s Sam and Dean Winchester. Open up.“  
Kevin has reached the main body of the church. I walk towards him.  
“Sam’s probably dead“, I whisper.  
“And Dean’s absolutely dead“, he replies just as quiet.  
I can hear clicking noises from the door. Someone’s trying to pick the lock. Kevin picks up two water guns filled with borax and holy water and hands one over to me. Let’s kick some ass.  
Footsteps come closer to the second door, the one leading to the room we’re in. The moment two figures come in, we start blasting.  
“No, stop, stop!“, one of them shouts, but it doesn’t sound painful, just annoyed, “No leviathans, it’s us!“  
Neither the holy water nor the borax hurt the men. I put my gun down as I recognize them.  
“Sam? Dean?“  
“What the hell happened to you guys?“, Kevin wants to know. Yes, that would have been my next question, followed by ‘Why the hell didn’t you answer my calls, Sam?‘.  
“Cliff notes?“, Dean asks, “I went to Purgatory, Sam hit a dog.“  
“Why would you hit a dog?“, I ask Sam. He shakes his head.  
“Wasn’t on purpose.“  
I notice that I’m actually kind of mad at him. Not because of the dog, but because he ditched us.  
Okay, and because of the dog.  
Dean sighs and wipes his face with his sleeve.  
“You want some towels?“, Kevin offers.

“Who taught you all of this?“, Dean asks while we walk back to the main body of the church after we got him and Sam some towels.  
“I guess God“, Kevin says.  
This could be such a funny joke.  
Sadly, it’s not a joke.  
“God taught you how to trap demons?“  
Dean sounds unbelieving.  
“Technically, yeah.“  
“Practically, we had to try some variants“, I add and remember how I had to redraw the circle a dozen times because I wanted a perfectly round Devil’s Trap.  
“Wait, wait, hold on“, Sam says and stops walking. Kevin and I turn around to him. “Crowley kidnapped you to, I saw that. But Mila, you left a message saying you escaped. How?“  
Oh, that was a fun day.  
“You wanna tell them?“, Kevin asks and takes the towels Sam and Dean used. I nod.  
“First, he took us to a warehouse. Crowley was waiting there. He had his Mouse soldiers cut Kevin’s hair first, they gave us time to wash our hands and faces, and some clean clothes. They asked me to get my hair out of my face. I was only there so that they could keep some kind of hostage so that Kevin would do what Crowley says.“  
The memories flash in front of my inner eye as I relive the day.  
“We thought he would torture us. But he didn’t. There was a table there, like the two times we got kidnapped before. And he had a new tablet.“  
“Wait, there’s another word?“, Dean asks, “So another Word of God?“  
Kevin and I nod simultaneously.  
“How many Words of God are there?“  
Kevin looks at Dean. “I only became a prophet like a year ago.“  
“Well, did this tablet have a name?“  
“Demons“, Kevin says. A moment of silence follows.  
“What about demons?“, Dean asks then.  
“As far as I could tell, everything“, Kevin answers. That’s what he told me, too.  
“Crowley had the demons turn up the temperature really high“, I continue the story, “That’s an old interrogation technique. And then… Kevin read something about hell gates.“  
“What about hell gates?“, Sam asks.  
“There’s one in Wisconsin“, Kevin answers, “The tablet told me how to open it. There were ingredients for a spell.“  
“He told the demons to get all kinds of weird and gross stuff, and they did“, I say. It was so funny seeing their grumpy faces when they had to follow Kevin’s orders. “I helped to prepare the spell. Crowley went to Wisconsin and left two guards to look after us when we finished. He told us to perform the spell, and we did.“  
“You showed the king of hell how to open a hell gate so that all the demons in hell could come out at the same time?!“, Dean shouts angrily.  
“What? No!“, Kevin replies as indignant as I feel. Dean doesn‘t seriously think we helped Crowley, does he?  
“Kevin struck the match and burned the ingredients, and all the demons in the room died“, I bring the story to an end, “We grabbed the tablet, and we ran. We left Crowley somewhere in the middle of a sheep meadow in Wisconsin.“  
“I told Crowley I was opening a hell gate, but I was reading something different“, Kevin says and smiles. Ah yes. That one thing that saved us. “How to destroy demons so that they never come back.“  
“You son of a bitch“, Dean says in the happiest voice I ever heard him use.  
“But where’s the tablet now?“, Sam asks. Wow. He’s clever.  
“Safe“, Kevin replies.  
“Safe where?“  
“Hey, as long as it’s safe, okay?“ Dean doesn’t want anything to ruin his good mood right now. “Were you able to read anything else off the tablet before you stashed it?“  
Oh boy. If you knew.  
“Only the stuff about closing the gates of hell“, Kevin says.  
“Forever“, I add.  
“Come again?“ Dean looks like that’s too good news to be real.  
“Banish all demons off the face of earth“, Kevin explains with a smile.  
“Lock them away forever“, I say grinning, “That could be important, right?“  
“Closing the gates of hell forever?“, Dean repeats. Kevin nods. “Yeah. Yeah, that could be important. Know what?“ He looks at Sam. “A word outside. We need to recap. Plan our next steps.“  
“We’ll wait“, I say. Honestly, they should take a little break after this news.  
Sam and Dean go to talk in front of the main entrance. Kevin puts the towels up to dry and I refill our water guns. From outside, I can hear Sam and Dean arguing.  
It takes them some time to get inside again. To be more specific, Kevin and I already lit up the candles because it got dark. I sat back down in the front pew to think. Kevin went to the back room again.  
I always had the hope that Sam was still out there, but now that I learned that he actually was, I’m not relieved. I’m mad. And I hate myself for that.  
Behind me, through the main door, someone finally comes back in. I don’t turn around as he sighs. From the voice and the sound of the movement, I figure it’s Sam. He sits down in the pew behind me.  
“Mila, I, uh… I owe you an apology.“  
I turn my head sideways so that I can see his silhouette.  
“Look, when you disappeared and Kevin disappeared and Dean and Cas disappeared, I needed to clean my head… And I’m thinking maybe you were one of the pieces that I should have been there to pick up.“  
There are tears in my eyes. Why are there tears in my eyes? I’m mad at him! Or… No, I’m not. I’m sad. We were all alone, and we didn’t know where to go.  
“You’ve been a hunter since you were a kid, right?“, I ask the question I wanted to ask him already a year ago, when we first met.  
“Yeah, mostly. Yeah.“, Sam answers.  
“You know…“, I should stop talking. But I don’t. “I figured yours and Dean’s parents both died. I don’t know how or when it happened. I don’t even know what happened to mine.“  
I carefully breathe for a second.  
“I was in foster care for most of my life. Then, I moved into the dorms in highschool. And I met Kevin there.“  
I remember how we first met. That was that one time where I hit myself with my violin case.  
“And now, he’s a prophet. It’s hard to believe that this is now his life.“  
“It sucks“, Sam says. “It’ll suck for a long time. But trust me on this, it gets better.“  
I fully turn around to him. “I don’t crush on him, you know that, right?“  
Sam chuckles. “Look, we only need to get Kevin the tablet and the ingredients. We can create a world, a world where no Crowley and no demons will ever be chasing you two again.“  
For the first time, I actually look into Sam’s eyes. “He’s my best friend. When he got struck by lightning and told me something was calling him, I made the choice to follow him there. I made a choice to stick around. And now, I can’t see how I get from here to there.“  
“I used to not see it, too“, Sam says, “But there is a way.“  
I nod.  
There is a way.  
“I’ll ask Kevin to get his things.“  
I stand up and go to the backroom. Kevin’s standing there, both of our bags packed.  
“Kevin, I--“  
“I know“, he says.  
And that’s enough.  
We just got back to the main body of the church, where Dean is now, too, as the earth starts shaking. Wood splinters from the floor and breaks the Devil’s Trap I painted there.  
“We got company“, Dean says and rushes over to his bag. He takes a knife out and hands it to his brother. He himself takes a really big and weird looking blade.  
“What’s that?“, Sam asks confused.  
“It’s Purgatory.“  
Purgatory. Add that to the list of paranormal things that actually exist.  
The main door blasts open and two men come in. Instinctively, I take a step back, and Kevin does, too. Sam and Dean turn to face the strangers.  
“Dean Winchester, back from Purgatory“, one of them, the taller one, says. Thanks, man, I didn’t notice.  
“Spanky the demon“, Dean replies, “Yeah, I heard about you.“  
Sam walks backward and stands directly in front of Kevin and me, protecting us.  
“You’re the one who uses too much teeth“, Dean continues and points on the taller one with his blade.  
As if that were an invitation, the men attack. One squares up and fights Dean, the other one rushes over to us. Sam tackles him, but he pushes him backward and Sam slams against the wall. Reflexively, I grab behind me. There’s the table we had standing there ever since we got here. The one where we made our holy water at. I take one bottle and splash the water in the man‘s face while Kevin takes another one, just in case. Apparently, he’s a demon, as the skin starts looking burned and he backs away, yelling in pain. Just when it looks like he’s squaring up again, his bones start glowing, so bright that I can see it through the skin. His eyes go orange, just like Hester’s when Meg killed her, many months ago. Sam, who was the one to stab him from behind, wraps his arms around the demon until the light goes away, then he lets him fall to the ground.  
“Dean!“  
Sam rushes over to Dean. I just notice by now that the demon Dean’s fighting has him by the throat, and Dean’s blade fell to the ground. Sam puts his bloody knife into Dean’s hand, and Dean stabs the demon. He dies, while Dean is gasping, now that he’s getting some air again.  
They’re both dead.  
I take my inhaler and feel like a robot while breathing the medicine in because my motions are so stiff.  
“Hello there“, a voice comes from the main entrance. That sounds an awful lot like…  
I turn around to see Crowley standing in the doorway, together with a young girl with black eyes. Wait, isn’t that…  
“Dean“, Crowley says while coming closer to the Winchesters, “You’re looking… Well, let’s just say Purgatory didn’t do you any favors.“  
I can hear Kevin gasp a little. I bite my lip. The young female demon… That’s Channing. A good friend of ours. She’s a demon. But for how long has she been that way? Or is she possessed right now?  
“Where’s your angel?“, Crowley asks.  
Hey, he’s right. I haven’t seen Cas around. I assumed that he got out of Purgatory with Dean and is with Meg or something.  
“Ask your mother“, Dean spits.  
Now I’m not as sure about Castiel’s fate. He did get out of Purgatory, right…?  
“There’s that grade-school zip“, Crowley says lordly, “Missed it, I really did.“ He looks at Sam.  
“Moose!“  
Wow. That actually fits.  
“Still with the pork chops. I admire that.“  
Can we please stop talking about Sam’s hair?!  
“Let Channing go“, Kevin says loudly next to me. Last time he told an adult what to do, we watched Dean and Cas getting catapulted into Purgatory and got kidnapped.  
Again.  
“That’s not Channing“, Dean says, “Not anymore.“  
So I was right. Possessed.  
“What an awful thing to say the boy, Dean“, Crowley replies, “Of course it’s Channing.“  
“Yeah, obviously“, I say sarcastically. As if her eyes weren’t black or something.  
Crowley turns towards me. I back away a little.  
“Mila“, Crowley says and smiles. That can’t be good. “Last time we danced, you and Kevin stole the tablet and killed my men.“  
Ah yes. I remember.  
“Tell you what, you two come with me now, bygones.“  
He points at the used-to-be-Channing-thing.  
“And I’ll let girly here go back to… wherever.“  
“He’s lying“, Dean says.  
Yeah, he probably is. I mean, if he really wanted to negotiate with Kevin, he would have let me go. Given he only took Channing to release her again, he’s probably going to take us, anyways. And I guess that this time, there will be torture.  
“You won’t get Channing back“, Dean continues, “She’s probably dead already.“  
Crowley sighs. “Will you please stop saying that?“  
I wonder why nobody tries to perform an exorcism here. I mean, if Channing were alive, she’d be free then. If not… I don’t want to think about what could have happened to Channing already.  
“Let the girl speak“, Crowley says and snaps.  
Channing blinks. When she opens her eyes, they’re not black anymore. I can see her expression. It’s her.  
“Kevin? Mila?“  
“Channing!“  
Kevin looks like he wants to hug her. Me too, actually, but given the situation, this really isn’t the time.  
“What’s going on?“, Channing asks.  
“There’s a demon in you and you’re going to your safety school.“ I try to make it simple.  
“What?“, Channing asks. I feel so sorry for her. She sounds so scared.  
“But you’re gonna be okay--“, Kevin tries to reassure her, but he gets interrupted by Crowley snapping again.  
Channing blinks, and then she’s the demon again. We stand in silence for a few seconds.  
“Okay“, Kevin says then, “I’ll do it.“  
“What?“  
He can’t be serious!  
Wait. Wait. Kevin’s tapping his finger at my arm, where nobody can see. Three letters, morse code.  
L I E.  
He’s lying. It’s a ruse, and he wants me to participate. I guess he has a plan, and I trust him. So I nod.  
“Us for her“, I say.  
“And this ends, alright?“, Kevin says. He tries to make it real, so I have to, too.  
“No more fighting“, I add, “No nothing. It ends.“  
“Can’t let you do that, kid“, Dean says.  
“Or what, you’ll kill us?“, Kevin asks bravely. Ohhh. Say that and watch ‘em struggle.  
Crowley chuckles. I tuck at Kevin’s sleeve.  
“Let’s go get our stuff“, I say.  
We leave the main part of the church and go to the room in the back while the others keep talking.  
Kevin pulls me inside the room and half-closes the door. Then, he takes a bucket from under a table and starts pouring water inside. Finally, I get his plan.  
“Come on!“, I can hear Crowley shout from the main room, “Chop, chop!“  
“Quick!“, Kevin whispers, so quiet that only I can hear.  
I throw the rosary that we keep on the table into the water and start whispering the spell to make it holy water as fast as I can.  
“Exorcize te, creature aquae, in nomine dei patris…“  
“Kevin, Mila?!“, Crowley shouts.  
“Et in virtute spiritus sancti.“, I finish.  
Kevin takes the bucket and pours the water into the box we build. It’s hanging over the door and the flap is attached to a rope. If you pull it, all the holy water comes down.  
“Hey!“, Crowley shouts.  
I can hear two pairs of footsteps, probably him and Channing-demon, coming closer. The door opens, and there they are.  
“You two--“, Crowley starts, but he gets interrupted.  
By Kevin pulling the string.  
Holy water pours down on the demons. Their skin goes red and they yell in pain. That’s all we needed.  
“Sam, Dean, run!“, I shout as loud as possible before Kevin and I escape through the back door.  
Outside, it’s so dark that I can’t see very well. But I do see enough to see Sam and Dean getting into a car. Kevin and I skip down the few stairs in front of the door, rush over and get into the back. Just when Kevin slams the door shut, Crowley and the other demon come out of the church. Crowley says something to her, just when Dean starts the engine and starts driving. I turn around to see what’s happening. Channing’s body shakes, and black smoke bursts out of her mouth. Dean pulls off the driveway and drives away from the church. But there’s a second where I can see Crowley and Channing. Yes, Channing, with her eyes. She’s not possessed anymore.  
Then, Crowley snaps with his fingers. Her neck snaps and she falls to the ground.  
She’s dead.  
Channing’s dead, and it’s all my fault.

We’ve been driving all night. I don’t know where Sam and Dean are taking us, but I don’t ask.  
She’s dead.  
When Dean stops the car at a gas station, it’s the middle of the day. He turns off the engine, just when his cell phone rings. He picks it up.  
“Hello?“  
He waits for a few seconds. Sam looks curious.  
“Wrong number.“  
Dean hangs up on whoever called him.  
“Automated jackass.“  
He turns around.  
“Alright, anybody want anything?“  
“I’m good.“, Sam says.  
Kevin shakes his head.  
I refuse to do anything.  
Sam turns around, too.  
“Mila?“  
Is he really expecting an answer?  
“How are you two holding up?“  
“Awesome“, Kevin says with nothing but sarcasm. And anger. “The king of hell just snapped my friend’s neck. How about you?“  
Dean and Sam look at each other. Non-verbal conversation. Argh.  
“Alright, listen to me“, Dean says then, “I’m sorry about your friend. I am.“  
Kevin looks at him. I look anywhere but him, so out the window, watching the people and trying not to listen too closely.  
“But the sooner you get this the better“, Dean continues, “You two are in it now, like it or not. That means you do what you gotta do.“  
No answer.  
“I’m hitting the head.“  
Dean gets out of the car and walks away.

I wish I could just walk away, too.


	5. 8x2 - Willy Wonka has us put up for bid

“Are you kidding me?“, Dean says with his mouth full. “You’re kidding me.“  
We stopped at a small restaurant to eat something. I haven’t said anything yet, but Kevin asked Sam and Dean to do something. And Dean obviously doesn’t like the idea.  
“What?“, Kevin asks annoyed, “Is it too much to ask if we can swing by and check on my mom?“  
I’d like to see Linda again. We haven’t been around for the whole year, ever since we hid in the church. I tried to not think about her, because the memories themselves hurt, knowing I can’t see her. But now, with Sam and Dean, we actually could go see here.  
“Swing by?“, Dean asks, “It’s a day drive in the opposite direction!“  
“I know that, right?“, Kevin replies, “I understand we’re in a hurry.“  
“Okay, then what’s the problem?“  
Usually, Kevin would ask me to help win the argument. Luckily, he understands that I don’t want to talk. I can’t help but think about Channing, the whole time we’ve been on the road now.  
“Channing’s broken neck is my problem, as I’d rather not see my mother twisted into a corkscrew“, Kevin hisses.  
I look away. When I close my eyes, it’s like I can see it snap again.  
“Kid’s got a point“, Sam says.  
“Stay out of this. Kevin, your mom is fine“, Dean says.  
“How could you know that?“, Kevin asks.  
“Because Crowley needs her to be“, Dean replies, “He’s probably got the place stacked with bodyguards right now protecting her so that when we show up, they’ll get the two of you and your mom as a little extra.“  
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?“, Kevin asks.  
Dean looks frustrated.  
“She’s bait, man, plain and simple, and you wanna swim right up and bite the hook?“  
Kevin doesn’t reply. Dean sighs.  
“Look, we have Crowley by the short and curlies, okay? All we need to do is find the tablet, whip up a spell, and boom- Sunshine and sandy beaches.“  
He takes another bite of his burger. But actually, it’s far more complicated. And finally, I speak, too.  
“She’s probably out there, all alone, surrounded by demons“, I say quietly, as my voice is hoarse from not talking in so long, “And she has no idea what’s going on.“  
I get what I intended to get. My words finally pull Sam on our side, as I made it sound like Linda’s in the same situation he left us in. He looks at Dean.   
Dean looks at us all, one after one. He doesn’t seem completely convinced.  
“Please, Dean“, I say pleadingly.  
Finally, Dean puts his burger down.  
“Son of a bitch…“  
He throws his arms up in defeat.  
“Fine, let’s go.“

We’ve been sitting in this car for hours. I mean, apart from driving the whole night.   
Dean parked the car, an Impala, I think, in the neighborhood where Linda lives. The people around just go about their day, doing nothing special. Sam watches the house’s windows through binoculars, waiting for Linda to show up. I watch the people around. There’s something weird going on. The mailman… Wasn’t he here just half an hour ago? And the gardener is really overdoing watering that roses.  
“Tiger mommy, 9:00“, Sam says. Kevin looks up.  
“Where?“, he asks and takes the binoculars from Sam, watching the house himself.  
“Left window.“  
Kevin looks for a few seconds. Then, he puts the binoculars down.  
“She seems okay.“ He watches her. I can only see her blue blouse for a second. “Sad, but okay.“  
“Something’s off“, I say.  
The boys all turn around to me.  
“Watch the mailman“, I tell them.  
Kevin looks around. “That’s Carl. So what?“  
“He’s been here half an hour ago“, I explain, “And that gardener?“  
They all look again.  
“That’s way too much water. They are demons.“  
Sam and Dean get out of the car and walk up to the house. The actual fight goes on behind the gate, so I can’t see it. Let’s just say, the gardener and the mailman won’t be back. Yet, Sam and Dean are.  
Kevin and I get out of the car. I’m so excited to see Linda that I have to control myself to not run towards the house, so does Kevin. Dean and Sam walk beside us.  
Finally, we reach the front door. Sam and Dean position themselves next to the door, each on one side, and with holy water ready. I take a deep breath and think about my inhaler. It’s safe in my pockets. Kevin looks at me, and I nod. He reaches out and knocks on the door three times.  
He always knocks three times.  
Then, Linda opens the door. She cut her hair short. It fits her.  
“Hi Mom“, Kevin says. I haven’t heard that kind of happiness in his voice for so long.  
“Hello, Linda“, I say.  
Linda gasps. “Kevin- Mila-“  
She walks up to us. But before she can touch either of us, but probably and understandably Kevin first, Sam and Dean step into the doorframe and splash her with holy water.  
“What the-“   
Nothing happens.  
“She’s clean“, Sam says.   
Kevin starts laughing, not because something’s funny, but because he’s so happy. I can feel a big smile on my face as Kevin runs up to his mother to hug her, while she starts sobbing.  
We watch the wonderful scene a few seconds. Then, I notice something weird.  
“You smell that?“, I ask Sam and Dean. It’s like sulfur.  
Dean and Sam look at each other, then they rush to the living room, and I follow them, leaving Kevin and Linda in the hallway.  
In the living room, there’s a woman. I think I know her, she’s a friend of Linda’s, Eunis, I believe. I didn’t know how mad old ladies could look like until Eunis starts spitting black smoke. The demon’s trying to escape!  
“We can’t have her leave!“, Sam shouts. Dean shrugs. They have no idea… But maybe I do.  
Behind me, Linda starts screaming. It looks like she and Kevin are here now, too. Then, an idea strikes me.   
Exorcism means out of the body, so maybe…  
“Et secta diabolica, omnis congregatio…“, I start saying an exorcism in a kind of backward way, “Omnis legio, omnis incursio infernalis adversaril, omnis spiritus, exorcizamus!“  
The smoke goes back into Eunis and her eyes go black. I can’t believe that shit worked. Dean runs over to her and stabs her. Her bones light up, just like when Sam and Dean killed the other demons in the church, then she falls to the ground, dead.  
“Eunis!“, Linda screams, panicking.  
“That’s not Eunis“, Dean says.

“Mrs. Tran, your friend was possessed by a demon.“ Sam says.  
We all sat down and tried to explain everything that happened.  
“Have you ever seen The Exorcist?“, Kevin asks Linda. She looks at him annoyed.  
“Is that what you were doing all year? Watching television?“  
“Actually“, I say when nobody answers, “We got kidnapped a third time and escaped, so we had to stay low.“  
Linda sighs. “Did you really have to kill her?“, she asks Dean.   
“The demon would have warned Crowley where Kevin and Mila were if we didn‘t“, Dean explains.  
“And Crowley is the one that kidnapped you?“, Linda asks Kevin and me.  
“Yeah“, Kevin answers, “He needs me to translate his stupid tablet so that he can take over the universe.“  
“What about you then?“, Linda asks me.  
“I’m the one they threaten to kill all the time“, I reply.  
Dean nods. “We need to get the tablet so that we can slam the gates of hell forever with Crowley inside.“  
“So that things like that“, Sam adds and points to where Dean stabbed the demon, “Don‘t ever happen again.“  
Linda nods slowly. Then, she looks at Kevin.  
“Prophet of the lord, huh? That does have a nice ring to it.“  
I knew Linda could handle the news well. I really admire her for not freaking out like Kevin and I did back in our time.  
She takes a deep breath and stands up.  
“I’ll get packed.“  
We all stand up with her.  
“We’ll need a safe house since Crowley’s been to the cabin“, Dean says pensively.  
“Safe house?“, Linda asks confused, “I thought we were getting the tablet first?“  
Dean looks at Sam. “We are. You take a trip to a demon-free zone.“  
“And risk letting Kevin and Mila fall back into the hands of this Crowley again?“  
She included me. That’s so nice.  
“I don’t think so.“  
“Mrs. Tran, all due respect, Dean’s right“, Sam says, “Crowley’s not just a killer, he trades in torment. If he can find a way to separate your soul from you, he’ll take it to hell and roast it ‘till there’s nothing left but black smoke.“  
Linda looks like she’s thinking. “I understand“, she says then, “But it’s not my soul that I’m worried about.“  
Linda crosses her arms. Dean seems helpless as he looks at Kevin and me.  
“We came here all the way to pull her from the fire, and now she wants to jump back in. Little backup here?“  
I shrug. Kevin shakes his head.  
“Like I can tell her what to do“, he replies.  
Dean chuckles. Then, he nods.  
“Okay, coming with us has conditions. Uh… hex bags to stay off the bad guys‘ radars.“  
Whatever hex bags are.  
“And, uh, you gonna have to get inked up.“  
“Do what now?“, I ask. Ink up… he can’t be talking about…  
“Uh, yeah“, Sam says as he pulls down the collar of his shirt. He has a tattoo on his chest that looks like a pentagram with flames around. “You too, shortstop. Keeps the demons out.“  
I don’t want a tattoo… There is no other way? Probably.  
“Fine“, Linda says.  
“Really?“, Dean asks. He’s underestimating her.  
“What, like it’s my first tattoo?“  
Kevin looks shocked. I chuckle until I remember that getting a tattoo hurts, and I loathe pain more than anything. How the hell did it get so far?!

Kevin grunts as the man inks the pentagram on his left wrist. If I weren’t about to cry because it hurt so much, I would think it’s funny how Linda doesn’t even look bothered by the needle under her skin. However, I am distracted by the pain.   
Actually, I’m not even allowed to get tattoos yet. I don’t even know who my legal guardian is right now. So Sam and Dean just pretended to be. They’re so good at lying. It kind of scares me. 

“So, place is clean, as far as I can tell“, Sam says when he and Dean reach the bench Linda, Kevin and I are sitting on.  
We’re at the central station of Laramie in Wyoming. The last time I was here, it was to hide the Demon tablet together with Kevin, one of the few occasions we left town over the past months.   
We stand up and I grab the string that I’ve been wearing like a necklace. Attached to it is the key for the locker we keep the tablet in. I hand the yellow key over to Dean.   
“Alright, positive thoughts“, he says.  
I just hope that no one stole the tablet. But that’s technically impossible because I have the only key and it’s way to busy here to just break the locker open.  
Dean unlocks the little door and opens it. Inside, there’s a colorful bag.  
Which I can’t remember putting in there.  
“You hid the Word of God in a diaper bag?“, Dean asks as he takes it out of the locker.  
Kevin shakes his head. “No…“  
Dean digs through the bag until he sees Sam grinning.  
“Shut up“, he says and throws the bag back into the locker.

We carefully watch from a bench as Sam and Dean talk to a security guard. They changed into suits and pretended to be FBI agents. I’d love to be an FBI agent. Like, for real.  
“Got nothing but trouble with these lockers“, he says when Sam asks him about it, “Got broken into nearly every day for a while.“  
Shit. If someone broke into that specific locker every day, it means the tablet could be anywhere. And with anywhere, I mean Crowley.  
“Could never figure out who it was ‘till yesterday“, the security guard says.  
“So you know who did it?“, Sam asks.  
“Sure“, the man replies, “It was Clem Smedley, a guy who worked the desk before me.“  
“Tell me he’s in county right now“, Dean says.  
“Yup. Waiting for arraignment.“  
“Thanks“, Sam says.

Dean parks the Impala in front of a thrift store. In front of us, there’s a very new car. Not only new like recently bought, new like recently released. Its tags are expired. I guess that means it’s for sale, even though it doesn’t fit the rest of the small store. So this is the address. Sam and Dean interrogated Clem Smedley, and this is where he told them he sold the tablet.  
He sold the damn tablet.  
Bloody idiot.  
We walk into the thrift store and Sam and Dean hold up their badges.  
“Hello, Sir. Agent Neil and this is Agent Sixx, FBI. We’re looking for a tablet.“  
The guy running the store looks like an Ex-surfer that took the smolder a little too far.  
“About yay big“, Dean shows with his hands, “Got some hieroglyphic crap on it.“  
“Sold to you by a thief named Clem“, Sam says, “Ring a bell?“  
“Nope.“  
Something’s wrong about this dude. It’s probably his car out there, and given this store, he doesn’t even have enough money for a cheap used car.  
“Hey Lyle“, Dean says. Apparently, that’s the guy's name. “I had a really, really bad day today, and I’m not in the mood to dillydally. If you wanna do this the rough way, I’m happy to oblige.“  
That sounded really threatening. I’m just glad that I’m not the one Dean is talking to. He’s really intimidating. Weirdly enough, Lynel doesn’t seem bothered at all.  
“Sure, we can do it that way. If you wanna get famous.“  
He points to the security cameras. Sam and Dean can’t do anything to him. Fortunately, I have a stupid idea, that, with lots of luck and Linda’s and Kevin’s help, could work.  
“Is that your car outside?“, I ask.  
“What’s it to you, mail-order?“  
Dean slaps the counter. “Hey, pal!“  
I chuckle. That’s cute.  
“I got it.“  
I step closer to Lynel.  
“I noticed you’re driving with expired tags.“  
Now that I think about it, that could mean something way better that I can blackmail him with.  
“Maybe you acquired it in a trade.“  
“I guess that means you haven’t registered it yet“, Linda continues. Good for me. “So you haven’t paid the tax. Is that correct?“  
“None of your business.“  
Lynel looks alarmed.  
“Kevin, what’s the average Blue Book on that car?“, I ask. Luckily, Kevin answers.  
“On a 2010 Ferrari F430 Spider…“  
I can’t believe he actually knows.  
“…Two hundred and seventeen thousand.“  
“Plus 5 percent Wyoming tax“, I say, “Ten--“  
“Ten thousand and eight hundred fifty“, Sam says before I can finish. Wow, that was fast.  
“Ten thousand dollars“, Linda says, “Something tells me that you’re the type who might balk at a tax bill that big.“  
“What is this?“, Lynel asks, “An FBI audit?“  
“No“, Linda replies, “But my brother, who happens to work for the Wyoming tax assessor’s office could arrange that if he thought something untoward was happening here.“  
Lynel looks shocked.  
“So, what’s it gonna be?“, Linda asks, “The tablet or that piece of Euro-trash crap you call a car?“

Sam knocks on the door with the number 126. Nobody answers.  
“Sure this is the right address?“, Sam asks.  
“It‘s what the pawn slip says“, Dean replies.  
Who the hell would buy a tablet that nobody can read? Answer: This guy.  
“Kevin?“, someone behind us says.  
We all turn around. A man that looks like Willy Wonka in a grey suit stands in front of us in the motel’s parking lot.  
“Who wants to know?“, Dean asks and walks up to the man.  
“Oh, relax, Dean, I’m not going to steal your prophet- or your girl“, he replies, all calm.  
This man is a weirdo. How does he know all of that? He gotta be a demon.  
“Ah…“, Willy points at Linda, “And you must be Kevin’s mother.“ He comes closer. “Beau, and it’s my absolute pleasure.“  
He kisses her hand. Gross.  
“And, uh, imagine my luck“, Beau says directed at Kevin and me, “Here I was working so hard looking for you two that I never stopped thinking you might be looking for me.“  
“That‘s weird“, I say. I never say that to people, but Willy Wonka looking for us might be an exception. He ignores me.  
“I have something for you.“  
“What is it?“, Dean asks.  
“An invitation, dear man“, Beau says and pulls out two envelopes. The one on top has Kevin’s name on it. “To a very exclusive auction.“  
Two envelopes with invitations inside. One for Kevin. And the other one…?  
“Let me guess“, Dean says, “Where you’ll be selling the tablet.“  
Dear lord. An auction. With demons.  
“Well, when we acquire an item as hot as the Word of God“, Beau replies, “It’s smart to unload it as fast as possible.“  
He looks at Kevin and me again. “And we’re in such desperate need of a headliner for tonight’s gala.“  
“Well, I hope you have three extra tickets for your little eBay party because the kids are with us“, Dean says.  
“If you’re worried about the safety of the prophet and the charming young girl--“  
“I’m gonna crush you“, I think.  
“--Rest assure that we have a strict no-casting, no-cursing, no ‘supernaturally flicking you two against the wall just for the fun of it‘ policy.“  
Well, at least that’s cleared up now.  
“Is that right?“, Sam asks, “How’d you manage that?“  
“Well, I’m the right hand of a God after all“, Beau replies.  
A God? There are more than one? Why am I surprised?  
“Plutus, specifically“, Beau clarifies.  
“Is that even an official planet anymore?“, I mumble.  
Beau looks at me unamused, I guess he didn’t get the pun. It could be threatening, being intimidated by a God’s right hand. But actually, it’s not.  
“He’s the God of greed“, he says, “And my liege has warded these premises against hell, heaven and beyond. Quite necessary with some of the players we see. And, incidentally, quite possible the safest place, you and the precious prophet could be.“  
I don’t reply. I just think the hurt voice Beau’s using is a little funny.  
“Well, since time is of the essence“, Beau says, looking at Sam and Dean again, “Perhaps I’ll just go ahead and add a plus-three to the invitations. Copacetic?“  
He throws the envelopes in the air. When they fall to the ground, he’s already gone. Teleported.  
“Well thank you, Mr. Peanut“, Dean hisses.  
Kevin picks the envelopes up. The other one…  
It’s for me. I open it.  
“What do we have to bid?“, Dean asks. Sam chuckles. “Well, we can’t just show up there empty-handed!“  
“All we have to our names is a few hacked gold-cards“, Sam says. I didn’t think about that.  
“Alright, well“, Dean replies, “We gonna have to get creative!“  
We think. Sam looks over to the Impala. Dean notices.  
“Say it, and I will kill you, your children and your grandchildren.“  
“Okay, uh…“, Sam thinks again. Then, it looks like he has an idea. “These auctions, they display the items to be bidden on beforehand.“  
“So what?“, Dean asks, but I understand. That plan is riskier than the one Kevin and I used to get into the psychiatric ward to find the first tablet a year ago.  
“So“, Sam continues, “All we have to do is to get Kevin close enough to memorize the spell!“  
“What do you think, brainiac“, Dean asks Kevin, “You think you could swing it?“  
“Of course he can swing it“, Linda answers instead, “The bumper stickers on my Previa mean anything.“  
Or we could just take a picture with our phones and get out of there. But whatever, no one’s asking me, right?

When a guy opens the door for us, I can already hear people chattering in the room. We walk through a metal detector, like those that are standing at an airport. We all pass, but when Dean tries to walk through, it starts beeping. We all turn around. From the side, Beau appears.  
“The system only works when everyone participates, Dean“, he says.  
After Dean put all his weapons, so many, to be specific, that I can’t help but wonder where he kept them all, in a box, we’re finally allowed to move on to the next room. Just as Sam suspected, all the things to be bidden on are displayed in glass showcases. There is so much weird stuff, weapons, old armor, golden sculptures, a book that’s labeled “Da Vinci’s notes“, a hammer that looks like it‘s from a Marvel movie, and the tablet.  
“Here“, I say.  
We all walk over to it. The tablet is covered by metal on both sides. The symbols aren’t visible. Dammit, there goes our plan!  
“Great“, Dean says sarcastically.  
“Guess we’re not as original as we thought“, Kevin says.  
“It’s okay“, Sam says, “It’s okay. We just gotta come up with a plan B.“  
“And what“, a familiar voice asks behind us, “Could possibly have been plan A?“  
We turn around to see Crowley. Instinctively, I take two steps back. “Take the prophet and his weakness to the most dangerous place on earth, memorize the tablet, and then va-moose?“  
His weakness? Sorry that you don’t have any friends, old man. Dean and Sam stare at Crowley. He smiles.  
“Hello, boys.“  
“Crowley“, Dean says.  
“Kevin, Mila“, Crowley just ignores him, “What a pleasure to see you! Sorry about the little playdate. Her name… Well, to make an omelet, sometimes you have to break some spines. And who“, he looks at Linda, “Is this lovely young thing? Must be your sister.“  
Is he flirting? Ew! Linda’s not having it, either. I can tell because she smacks the King of hell right across the face.  
“Stay away from my kids“, she hisses.  
My kids. She said "my kids". She counts me as her kid. I think I’m about to cry.  
“Charming“, Crowley says dryly, “Defiling her corpse has just made number one on my to-do list.“  
Dean takes a step forward.  
“Ah-ah-ah.“, Crowley points at him with his index finger, “Don’t mind a love tap but anything more and our pals may throw you out, and that would be a shame.“  
Sam looks troubled, but he nods. “He’s right, Dean, it’s not worth it.“  
“Listen to Moose, Squirrel.“  
As much as I hate Crowley, these nicknames really are a nice fit.  
The door opens and a tall, old man marches through. The guests start following him.  
“Ah, our host“, Crowley says.  
“That’s Plutus?“, I ask.  
“What is he, God of a candy aisle?“, Dean adds. I chuckle. That fits my Willy-Wonka-theory.   
“The auction is starting“, Beau says while walking past us into the next room, where I guess the auction’s gonna be.  
“Good luck with the bidding“, Crowley says.  
Dammit. He’s King of hell. Is there anything he can’t bid? Anyways, we walk inside the next room. It looks how auction rooms are probably supposed to like, at least I can see nothing weird. We all sit down in the same row.   
Just when Beau bangs the gavel, Dean comes in and sits next to Sam.  
“Ladies, gentleman and other, welcome to this once in a lifetime event.“, Beau says.  
Crowley sits down in the row behind us. While Beau keeps talking, we collect all the money we have and add it up. It’s not even comparable to what I can imagine Crowley or literally anyone in this room to bid.  
“Okay, how much we got for plan B?“, Sam whispers after he told Crowley to leave him alone. Dean adds it up for him.  
“Our first item“, Beau says, “The amulet of Hesperus.“  
He holds it up. It’s really pretty.  
“Let’s start the bidding with, um, three tons of dwarven gold.“  
The other guests start bidding. Kevin and I look at each other. Dwarven gold. We have literally zero chance.  
Dean stands up.  
“I gotta use the restroom“, he mumbles, just as Beau announces that the amulet is sold.  
“Our next item up for bid“, Beau continues as Dean leaves the room, “The hammer of Thor, Mjölnir.“  
The next item unveiled is the hammer I saw earlier, the one that looks like a prop from a movie.  
An old man behind us bids the finger bone of a frost giant, Ymir. Actually, Ymir wasn’t a frost giant, he’s from Muspelheim and, according to nordic mythology, the first creature ever, from which the gods created the earth. But, whatever.  
Beau looks over to Plutus, who shakes his head.  
“And, uh…“  
The old man holds up a bloody paper bag.  
“The bone and five-eights of a virgin.“  
Oh, come on. Virgins can’t be that hard to find. I mean, he could kill me right here and bid my flesh, same thing.   
Plutus nods. Beau points at the man. “Sold.“  
Dean sits back down next to Sam. “Plan C tanked.“  
“Maybe you should try plan D, for dumbass“, Crowley suggests.  
“Maybe you should try plan S, for Shut up“, I hiss.  
“Our next lot“, Beau interrupts us and we all turn to the front again, “The Word of God. Capital G.“  
Beau shows the tablet around. So close, yet so far.  
“Very old. Very rare.“  
Crowley stands up. “Three billion dollars.“  
Woah. As if.  
Another guy, wearing something that looks like it belongs to someone standing in a hotdog-booth, stands up, too.  
“The Mona Lisa.“  
Double Woah. Who’s that? It’s probably not a hotdog-guy. I guess that’s just the body he possesses.  
Crowley shrugs. “The real Mona Lisa, where she’s topless.“  
Liar. That… No. Just no.  
“Vatican city“, the other guy says. His nametag says ‘Alfie‘, so I guess I’ll be calling him that for now, even though it’s not his name.  
“Alaska“, Crowley replies.  
Why the hell would he have Alaska? And why would Plutus want Alaska?  
“Palin and a bridge to nowhere?“ Looks like Beau thinks the same. “No thanks.“  
“Alright“, Crowley says, “The moon.“  
Crowley owns the moon?! That’s so sad.  
“You’re bidding the moon?“, Dean asks unbelievingly.   
“Yeah. Claimed it for hell. You think a man like Buzz gets to go into space without making a deal?“  
The real question is: What would you need the moon for? I mean, it’s the moon. It’s far away, and its atmosphere has no oxygen in it. Wait, do demons even need to breathe?  
“I’m sorry, gentleman“, Beau says, “It looks like our reserved price has not been met.“  
Wait, what else could he possibly want?  
“So, in order to stimulate the bidding, we’re going to add two items to this lot.“  
What?  
“Kevin Tran, Prophet of the lord…“  
Linda gasps. “No!“  
Kevin’s not next to me anymore, he’s in the front, chained to the stage. I try to stand up, but a security guard forces me to stay in my chair. I don’t even know what the next ‘item‘ is. I mean, what else could it possibly be? Maybe they have the notes Kevin made. Or a manual. Or…  
“And Mila Akashi Jones.“  
Suddenly, I’m on the stage too, chained, right next to Kevin. Shit.  
I’m up for bid.  
That’s just great.  
“Mr. Tran is the only person on Earth who can read this tablet“, Beau announces. He looks even weirder from this point of view. “And Miss Jones is the extra here.“  
Thanks, man. That really pushes my self-esteem.  
“As a human, to all of you who don’t know“, Beau explains, “It’s very important to have… friends. Isn’t it funny how that can be used against them? Miss Jones is the one Mr. Tran would do anything for. So you won’t even need to hurt the prophet to get him to do what you want to do!“  
Oh yeah, so exciting! Not only I’m put up for bid, I’m put up for bid so that I can be tortured!   
“You see, that makes the three a perfect matching set“, Beau finishes.  
“So out of your league“, I can hear Crowley's voice. He’s talking to Sam and Dean.  
“So… Do I hear a bid of, um…“  
“No, stop!“, Linda interrupts Beau and stands up, “I’ll give you whatever you want.“  
Plutus chuckles. “Good effort, Mrs. Tran“, Beau says, “But I’m afraid this is a little out of your price range.“   
Linda takes a deep breath.  
“My soul.“  
“Mom, don’t!“, Kevin shouts, just when I scream “No!“  
“I bid my soul.“  
Dean says something to her that I don’t understand.  
“Interesting“, Plutus says from his comfortable chair.  
“If it’s souls that you’re after“, Crowley says, “I can give you a million souls.“  
“It’s not about the quantity, chief“, Plutus replies and leans forward, “It’s about the sacrifice. This lady’s soul is the most valuable thing she has. It’s everything.“  
No, no, no. I can feel tears in my eyes, and they’re blurring my view. Kevin pulls at his chains, but he has no chance, they’re too strong. What’s going to happen to Linda without her soul?  
“Are you willing to offer everything, Mr. Crowley?“  
No. I’m sure he’s not. He can’t be.  
“Fine“, Crowley says loudly. Oh no. “I bid my own soul!“  
Wait, what? He’s a demon. He’s literally a soul possessing someone else‘s body. A soul can‘t have a soul, that’s impossible.  
Plutus wheezes. “Mr. Crowley, you don’t have a soul.“  
I knew it. The crowd chuckles.  
“Congrats, sweetheart“, Plutus says directed at Linda.  
When I see the tears on her face, mine start falling, too.  
“Thank you“, she whispers.  
Her soul.  
Sold.

The random guy holds on to my shoulder, even after we teleported. He brought Kevin and me into the hallway in front of the room the auction was in. Sam, Dean, Linda and Plutus look at us. Looks like Plutus made the dude bring us here, after we spent the last hour, while I guess the auction was going on, in another room with the amulet, Mjölnir and all the other stuff that got sold.  
“What are you gonna do with her soul?“, Sam asks Plutus. So we’re talking about Linda.  
“Whatever I want“, the God replies. Not that much information at once, please.  
“I might sell it. Or maybe I’ll just tuck it away with my other precious objects.“  
He laughs and opens his hand. “Whenever you’re ready, dear.“  
Linda steps forward and holds out her hand. Then, the moment before she touches Plutus, Dean grabs her arm.  
“Wait!“  
He rolls up the sleeve. Wait, that was the side she got the anti-possession tattoo on, wasn’t it? Then why is there just burned skin…?  
Linda looks up to Dean. Her eyes go red. “Hello, boys.“  
It’s Crowley.  
He holds out Linda’s arms, and Sam and Dean fly against the walls, each to one side. What irony.  
“You can’t!“, Plutus hisses, “My warding spells--“  
“Your girl Friday showed me a few loopholes.“  
I look at Beau behind me. He shrugs.  
This is the weirdest thing about today. Crowley using Linda, her body and her voice, to talk to a God.   
“And all it cost me was an island in the South Pacific. I love a bargain…“  
While Crowley talks, Beau sneaks up to Plutus from behind. And stabs him.  
He stabs a God.  
And the God dies.  
Freaky.  
Crowley takes the blade and throws it, having it land in the chest of the guy that teleported Kevin and me. His hand falls from my shoulder to the ground as he dies.  
“Can’t do all my tricks, but I can do enough“, Crowley says.   
“Get out of her!“, Kevin screams.   
Crowley takes the tablet. “If I had a nickel for every time someone screamed that at me…“  
When he turns around with Linda’s body, Sam jumps him. They both fall to the ground, then jump up again. What the hell was that for?  
“Getting in touch with your feminine side, huh, Crowley?“, Dean asks.  
“Something like that…“, Linda- no, Crowley- squares up. Dean and Sam position themselves right in front of me and Kevin.  
“Come and get him“, Dean says provoking. Wait, if he stabbed Crowley in Linda’s body, wouldn’t that mean Linda died, too?!  
Crowley sighs. “One out of three ain’t bad!“  
With that, he turns around and runs.  
Dean goes after her. “Watch the kids!“, he throws over his shoulder.  
Wait, we’re just going to stay here?! “I won’t, betcha“, I think as I use my inhaler. Sam puts one hand on Kevin’s shoulder.  
“I-“  
I start running, but I underestimated Sam’s reflexes. He grabs my arm and pulls me back.  
“Mila, don’t. Let Dean take care of it“, he says.  
But I don’t listen. I forgot about someone, and that someone is standing directly behind Sam and Kevin.  
With a gun.  
“Move!“, I scream.   
Luckily, they trust my words. We jump to the sides, just when Beau fires the gun. He’s aiming at Sam, who rolls behind a table that fell to the side, shielding him. Kevin and I run towards the door. Kevin’s almost out when Beau realizes we’re about to get away.  
“Don’t!“, he shouts.  
Aiming his gun at me. We stop mid-motion.  
It’s a weird feeling knowing that he could pull the trigger right now and kill me in one second. I mean, not that he couldn’t have done that before, I guess, but now it’s more real.  
“You know what’s better than one private island?“, Beau doesn’t wait for an answer, “Two private islands.“  
Behind him, I can see Sam standing up. With Mjölnir in his hands. He smacks Beau across the back of his head. Lightning shoots out of the hammer, and Plutus‘ right hand’s clothes fall to the ground, together with a pile of dust.  
“Woah, you’re worthy“, I say. That’s impressive.  
Then, I’m back on track. Kevin and I start running again, chasing after Dean and Crowley in Linda’s body.  
We find them a few rooms down the hallway. Dean’s pressing Crowley against the wall, a knife to Linda’s throat.  
“Don’t kill her!“, I yell. That was dumb.  
Dean gets distracted. Crowley uses that to push him away. Then, Linda opens her mouth. Smoke comes out of it, just like with the other demons leaving their bodies, but this smoke isn’t black, it’s red. It goes to the room next door.  
Linda falls to the ground. Kevin and I rush over to her. Her eyes are open, but she doesn’t stand up. I can’t imagine how she must feel right now.  
From the room next door, Crowley comes in, back in his own body.  
“Well, that was exciting. Good luck closing the gates to hell.“  
He picks up the tablet from the floor. Apparently, it got flung into the corner while Crowley and Dean were fighting.  
“Surprising what Mommy dearest has rattling around in her head“, Crowley says. Wait, he read her thoughts?! “Wanna know who your real father is?“, he asks Kevin.  
What? Kevin’s father is dead, as far as I know. What does that have to do with this?  
Crowley smiles at Kevin’s confused expression. “Scandalous.“  
“Crowley!“, I hiss. I’m getting tired of his manipulative jabbering.  
He smiles. “I know we’re not mates, Mila, but one word of advice: Run. Run far, and run fast.“   
He looks at Sam and Dean.  
“Because the Winchesters, well, they have a habit of using people up, and watching them die bloody. Toodles.“  
He waves and leaves.  
I don’t want to die. What has Crowley seen Sam and Dean do that he feels the need to warn me? He told only me to run, not Kevin. Maybe because Kevin’s the prophet, and I’m just me. I can still run.  
Or can I?

Linda hasn’t said a word, no matter how hard we tried. We’re back in the auction room. Kevin, Linda and I are sitting, Sam and Dean insisted on standing. I wonder how much they’ve seen for them to be so alarmed all the time.  
“What she went through was hell“, Dean says, “Trust me, I know. But she’s tough. She’ll pull it together.“  
Kevin’s breathing heavily.  
“You tried to kill her“, I remind Dean with tears in my eyes, “You stopped, but you wanted to. You would have pulled through if I didn’t tell you to stop, right?“  
Dean sighs. “Kid, in this life--“  
“Shut up.“   
Kevin looks up. His eyes are watery, too. I put my hand on his shoulder and gently stroke his arm.  
“I don’t wanna hear any more of your crappy speeches. I just wanna talk to my mom. Alone.“  
His voice breaks.   
“Sure“, Dean says, “Five minutes.“  
I stand up, but Kevin holds me back. “Don’t leave.“  
I sit back down as Sam and Dean leave the room.  
As soon as they are out, Kevin jumps up.  
“Kevin, what-“  
He grabs me and Linda by our wrists and pulls us up.  
“We’re out.“  
“What?!“  
He gotta be kidding me.  
“Listen, Mila“, Kevin says urgently, “Crowley has the tablet. What do we need Sam and Dean for?“  
“Protection, maybe?“  
I mean, has he seen them fight?  
“Dean was gonna kill Mom“, Kevin says bitter, “What else would he sacrifice for their win?“  
I bite my lip, thinking. He’s right.   
“Fine“, I say, “Let’s leave.“  
Kevin looks relieved. I take some paper out of my pocket and write a short letter to Sam and Dean. Then, we bolt through an open window, together with Linda.

Sam, Dean,

We’re gone. We took Linda with us, as you probably noticed. Don’t come looking for us. You found us once, but you won’t be able to ever again. Now that Crowley has the tablet, we have no reason to make us your responsibility anymore. This may sound stupid, but we dodged Crowley for more than a year all alone, until you showed up in that church. I guess that wasn’t your intention either, but whatever. We’ve been fine, and we will be fine, again. I’m sorry, but we figured that we don’t know you enough to fully trust you. And no, this is not only about Linda. Dean, I know that you were going after Crowley, not her. Furthermore, you two don’t need us, either. We’ll be fine.  
Usually, I say See you then at the end of letters, but I guess this time, I say Goodbye.

Mila

PS: Sam, I told you I made a choice to not leave this life, and now, I’m making the choice to stay with this life. I hope you understand that.


	6. 8x7 - At least I still have nine fingers

I can hear the door open and close again, then water splashing.  
“Mom, you gotta stop drowning me in holy water every time I go out, I’m not possessed!“  
It’s Kevin. I take a towel and go to the first room. Kevin’s standing there, his clothes and hair sogged with water, a plastic bag in his hand. He takes the towel and dries his face while I take a can of salt and pour a continuous line on the threshold. Linda appears behind the counter of the worn-off and empty Diner we’re staying in, the string that made the water pour down on Kevin in her hand, the same technique we used back in the church.   
“Not now, not yet“, she says, “They got to me, remember?“  
“Yeah, because they obviously burned your tattoo away“, I think.   
“We got hex bags that make us invisible for demons, and we got Devil’s Traps painted everywhere“, Kevin reminds her, “And Mila and I still have our tattoos. As long as we keep moving, we’ll be fine!“  
“And keep living in rat-infested hovels and running from cursed creatures? This is no life!“, Linda replies.  
We discussed this way too often, and we never come to an end.   
“It’s my life“, Kevin clarifies, “I’m the one dragging the Prophet load, sorry I pulled you into it!“  
“Don’t be sorry“, Linda says as she starts unpacking the bag Kevin brought, “Be ready. We’ve got to stop running and start taking a stand.“  
“Okay, you know“, Kevin says, “That’s crazy.“  
Ohh. Dangerous terrain.  
“No, it’s not“, Linda replies, “Not if we have the bomb you used on Crowleys‘ demons.“  
Ah yes. The great idea she’s not letting us talk her out of.  
“That thing we made had ingredients from all over the world“, I say, as so many times before, “Demons had to get the stuff for us.“  
“That’s why I went to an expert.“  
Wait.  
“What? Who?“, Kevin asks.  
“I hired a witch.“  
“A witch?“, I ask unbelievingly.   
“Off a craigslist.“ Linda takes a sip from the cup she poured water into. “Her name is Delta Mendota, and she’s a smart cookie. She’s scrappy, reliable and willing to kill.“  
That sounds… bad. Kevin doesn’t look convinced, either.  
“Look“, Linda says and sighs, “I’m your mother… honorary“, she adds looking at me, “And I did this for you.“  
“What makes you think you can trust her?“, Kevin asks.  
Yeah, trust. That was always the problem.  
“I don‘t“, Linda replies, “I didn’t give her the quantities or tell her how to blend them together. She’s in the dark!“  
“You told her we were making demon bombs?!“  
I can’t believe it. What if Crowley finds out?  
“That got her super motivated…“  
Linda looks on her watch.  
“Time for Delta to check in!“  
She walks over to her laptop and opens it.  
“Oh my God“, Kevin says directed at me while we follow her to look over her shoulder.  
Linda opens a video chat and calls Delta. She picks up almost immediately.  
“Hello Mrs. Tran“, she says.  
She has dark, wavy hair and she’s wearing a leather jacket even though she’s inside a house. It looks like hers, as the posters in the wall in the background kinda fit her style.  
“And you’re the kids?“, she asks, “Kevin and Mila, right?“  
Kevin and I kinda wave awkwardly. Delta seems nice. Sadly, life taught me that people never are what they seem to be at first.  
“Hi Delta“, Linda says, “Bring us up to speed. You got all the stuff?“  
“Almost“, Delta answers, “I don’t suppose you’d tell me the recipe for these bombs?“  
Hm. She really is a smart cookie.  
Linda shakes her head. “You know the rules. Casual encounters, no questions asked.“  
“Actually, that’s another part of Craigslist“, Kevin corrects her.  
“How long have you been a witch?“, I ask Delta. I suppose it’s not like in Harry Potter.  
“A full witch?“, Delta asks. That probably means when she finished her training. “Since the band broke up.“  
“You were in a band?“, Kevin asks.  
Hm. Delta looks like she was the bassist. I don’t know, she just seems the type.  
“Look, guys, I take my witch business real serious. I’m on it, and it’s gonna be wicked awesome, okay?“  
Haha. She said wicked.

Kevin opens the door when Delta knocks.   
“Kevin, right?“, she asks, as if she hadn’t said his name while we were video chatting.  
Then, before she can do anything else, Linda splashes some holy water in her face.  
“What the hell?!“  
I hand her a towel.  
“You got everything?“, Linda asks.  
“You bet. It was a bitch, but so worth it.“  
Delta hands her bag over to Linda.  
“Honestly, I’m sick of being treated like dirt by all those demons. Like, who died and made them boss? They could use a serious attitude reduction.“ She looks at me. “Hey, Mila, where’s the ladies‘ room? Long drive, you know.“  
I point to the bathrooms. “Over there.“  
“Cool.“  
Delta starts walking, but she gets interrupted by Linda, who’s been taking the items out of the bag.  
“Delta, what is that? I was clear. I need to build an arsenal! This might just give me one weapon!“  
“It’s just a taste of what you’ll get when I get paid in full“, Delta replies.  
Smart cookie.  
“That was not the agreement!“, Linda hisses.  
Delta smirks. “It is now.“  
She goes to the bathrooms. Linda scoffs.

“Listen, you little skank“, Linda barks when Delta is back, “In the service industry, you always deliver the goods, then you get paid. Even hookers know that.“  
Delta grins. “Says you. See, my sister’s a hooker, and hookers get paid first and then you get the goods. Look, I’m not the one with demons on my ass. You wanna renege on our deal, that’s fine by me.“  
Hm. She’s got a point.  
Linda sighs. “Kevin, get me my purse.“ Kevin goes to the back room, where Linda keeps her stuff. “Your mother must be so proud“, she says to Delta.  
“She is“, Delta replies.  
“Well, as your sister’s a hooker, I guess the bar ain’t that high“, I say.  
Suddenly, Kevin rushes back into the room.  
“Did you break the salt-line by the storeroom window?“, he asks me.  
“What? Of course not!“  
“Ahem.“  
I turn around and when I see who it is, I jump back so far that I slam against the counter.  
Crowley.  
“Hello Delta“, he says.  
“Hi“, the witch replies.  
Trust no one.  
“You betrayed us?“, Linda asks.  
“Delta, how could you?“ Kevin looks genuinely sad.  
“I’m mercurial“, Delta answers unbothered.  
“I’m afraid Delta found you to be a difficult and ungrateful employer, Mrs. Tran“, Crowley explains.  
He has the tablet.  
Now he has us.  
At the auction, he seemed to be not aversed of Beau’s proposal to torture me, and he stated that Linda’s corpse was his number one to-do.  
We’re fucked.  
Crowley and another demon that’s with him step closer.  
“She felt she’d gain far more leverage by negotiating with me. I am, after all, the king of hell. And you… are a mom.“  
“I did good, didn’t I, your Majesty?“, Delta asks. And I thought her sister was the one to be a hooker.   
“Very“, Crowley says with a smile. He snaps, and she’s gone. “Presumptuous twit.“  
“Please, take me“, Linda says, “Leave them alone.“  
“You?“ Crowley looks amused. “What would I do with you?“  
No reply. Crowley looks over to his demon-servant. “Kill her, and destroy the makings for the spell.“  
“No!“, Kevin shouts. He tries to walk towards Crowley, but I hold him back. We have no chance.  
“Yes. Say goodbye to Mommy.“  
He snaps, and we’re gone. Again.

“So, as you can see, our relationship is much simpler now“, Crowley finishes his explanation, “You either help me, or I torture the girl, and then I’ll kill you. I don’t quite understand your hesitation.“  
We sit at a round table. The other people there are all the prophets on earth, unactivated. Why am I here again? Ah yes. Torture. Obviously, I haven’t been tortured before, and the most physical pain I ever had was a) when I got the tattoo and b) when I broke my leg from running down a hill.   
“You just killed my mother“, Kevin replies.  
Crowley shakes his head. “Very unfortunate.“ He comes closer. “But to be fair, she was plotting to kill me and my kind.“ He leans against the table. “Kevin, we might make a deal.“  
“You’ll kill me as soon as I read the tablet.“  
Sadly, that’s true. I don’t want to be in this kind of trouble. I want to be back in the dorms and play a duet with Kevin, just like we used to before all of this started going down.  
Crowley sighs. “Are all of you young people so horribly cynical?“  
He puts one hand on my shoulder and the other one on Kevin’s for a second. I try to ignore it.  
“Depresses me, really. But here’s the thing: I really want you to read the tablet, Kevin, because, frankly, this lot has failed to inspire.“  
I look at the blood on the table in front of an empty chair.   
One out of eight.  
“However, better a stupid prophet than a stubborn one, as the saying goes. So what’s it gonna be?“  
Kevin doesn’t reply. However, under the table so that Crowley can’t see it, he grabs my hand. In this chaos, I guess we need something to hold on to.  
Crowley sighs. “Perhaps you doubt that I’m serious.“  
With a fluent hand motion of him, one of the women sitting at the table levitates into the air. Crowley snaps, there’s crunch, and then, blood everywhere. She literally exploded. And now I have blood on my face, my hands, my clothes. He killed an innocent woman to prove a point we already got.  
Two out of eight.

“I thought that privacy might make it easier to chat“, Crowley says as he tightens the ropes restraining my hands.   
Kevin’s sitting in the corner, but he doesn’t have any ropes at his wrists. Well, he’s not the one to be tortured. There are a dozen different blades lying on a table next to me. I’m so scared that my brain doesn’t function properly. Luckily, my breathing does. If I had an asthma attack right now, I’d have a serious problem.  
Well, this whole situation is a serious problem.  
In my mind, I can only hold on to one thought: “I made a choice.“ I’m doing this for Kevin, no, for every human. Crowley can’t have the universe. He can’t have the translation.  
“Decision time, Kevin“, Crowley says, “How’s this going to go?“  
Kevin doesn’t reply. No matter what happens, we have to pull through.  
“Don’t be recalcitrant, Kevin“, Crowley says in a low voice, “You know it brings out the worst in me.“  
I can hear my heartbeat in my ears when Crowley takes a knife from the table.  
I can feel the blade on my skin when he places it on my cheek.  
And I can feel the pain when he pulls it down, from my cheekbones to my chin.   
I close my eyes and try to remember all the good times.  
My fourteenth birthday in the dorms.  
The first concert, and the applause we got afterward.  
Watching the sunset at the lake, and ice skating on it when it froze.  
It doesn’t help. Blood drips on my shirt, blood and tears. I even try to sing in my head, like I did when I was writhing in pain during my very first asthma attack, singing to the rhythm of my heartbeat. There’s always a way.  
Crowley cuts my face, my arms, my hands. I can feel the blood everywhere.  
“Stop that!“, Kevin shouts.   
“Kev, don’t…“  
I slowly open my eyes. My vision is still blurry, and the pain doesn’t faint the slightest, though I might faint.   
“You know how to stop this“, Crowley says.  
Kevin looks at me, and I notice he’s crying. There’s always a way.   
Crowley chuckles. I don’t look at him. We can’t give up. On the edge of my field of vision, I can see him lifting the knife again as if he was to stab me. In what seems to be my last moments, I lock eyes with Kevin, and mouth what I believe to be my last words.  
“There’s always a way.“  
Crowley swings the knife down, and I start screaming. He cut off my finger. He cut off my finger!!!   
This is worse than every cut he gave me. He fricking amputated one of my limbs.  
“Alright!“, Kevin yells, “Enough!“  
No…  
“I’ll do it!“

“Next is ‘The Demonic Influence on the collective Tapestry of the soul“, Kevin says.  
We’re sitting at a glass table in the room, Kevin with the tablet, and Crowley is watching us closely. At least he let Kevin bandage the wound where my finger used to be. I can’t even think about it or look at where my blood stained the chair without wanting to vomit. I’d say to cry, but tears are rolling down my cut cheeks anyways, which hurts even more, so I guess I should stop, but I can’t. I just try to make no sound at all.  
“Boring“, Crowley says, “Doesn’t anyone ever edit this stuff? So far, as a writer, God’s a snooze.“  
Actually, God is a complete snooze, because he lets Crowley do all of this.  
“Demonic transport to the regions of hell“, Kevin continues.  
“Tell me something I don’t know“, Crowley replies, “Think macro. This is stupefyingly micro.“  
“How macro?“, Kevin asks.  
“Game changing.“, comes the answer.  
Kevin reads on. “Uh… well…“  
Crowley looks up from the pinwheel he’s been blowing on from time to time.   
“Don’t provoke me, Kevin. She still has nine fingers.“  
Unintentionally, I pull my hands closer to my body. Kevin gulps.  
“This section has to do with building defensive weapons against demons“, he says then.  
“You’re familiar with that one, I believe“, Crowley comments.  
“This one“, Kevin says slowly, “Describes…Sealing the gates of hell.“  
Crowley turns his head so fast that it’s obvious how surprised he is. “So it’s true. It’s there.“  
Kevin nods. Crowley sighs.  
“Clearly, humans cannot possess this thing. What was God thinking?“ He throws his pinwheel away. “Now we’re getting to the good part.“  
Kevin reads on for a minute or two. Then, he hesitates.   
“Hold on. This is different. It’s not text… It’s like a personal note.“  
“A personal note from God?“, Crowley asks.  
“From the archangel… Metatron“, Kevin replies.  
“The scribe and suck-up“, Crowley says. Obviously, he knows that guy, the one that wrote down God’s word. “Took down God’s word and picked up his cleaning.“  
“It’s like a farewell note“, Kevin says.  
“Go on.“  
Crowley looks interested.  
“Upon completion of this task“, Kevin reads out loud, “I take my leave of my master and this world. So ends the transcription of the sacred Word for the defense of mankind. Into the hands of God’s children thus passes the compendium of tablets.“  
“Compendium?“  
“A collection of things“, Kevin explains, “Especially one--“  
“I know what it means, Kevin!“, Crowley hisses, “But what does Metatron mean?“  
He thinks for a second. Then, it hits him.   
“There are more tablets, more than Leviathan and Demon.“  
Suddenly, there’s a familiar sound behind me. I turn around to see Castiel. Castiel. He’s here.   
“Castiel“, Crowley says, “Fresh from Purgatory. Wish you’d called first.“  
“Crowley“, Castiel hisses.  
“Which Castiel is it this time?“, Crowley asks, “I’m never sure. Madman or Megalomaniac?“  
Castiel comes over to us. “Kevin and Mila are coming with me.“  
Oh yeah. Please. I just want this to be over.  
“I don’t think so“, Crowley says, “The two prophets are playing on my team now.“  
Wait, two? He killed all the others except for one?! I hope at least the young boy survived, and immediately hate myself for wishing the other ones dead that way. Then, both, Crowley and Castiel, have angel blades in their hands. Kevin stands up, pulls me up, too, and takes a few steps back, getting us out of the danger zone.  
“So this is how it’s going to be?“, Castiel asks.  
“Well, it’s all very West Side Story“, Crowley replies, “But let’s be logical. You look like hell, and I should know. You’re not up for this. You may get it up, but you can’t keep it up.“  
Castiel’s eyes start glowing blue. Light seems to go out from his body. Behind him, a shadow emerges, his own.  
But with a gigantic pair of feathery wings.  
“You’re bluffing!“, Crowley hisses.  
“You wanna take that chance?“  
Castiel reaches out for Crowley. The king of hell reaches for the tablet on the table, but Castiel crushes the glass. Then, Crowley’s gone, Castiel falls backward and the light goes away. The door bursts open and Dean Winchester rushes in. When he sees what’s going on, he walks over to Cas and helps him stand up. Kevin picks up something from the ground. It’s the tablet. No, wait…  
It’s half of the tablet. 

“The cops are on their way to pick up the prophets“, Sam says as he comes back to the cars.  
I can’t believe Linda survived. She’s literally one of the bravest women I’ve ever known. I’m sitting on the bonnet of her car while Kevin tries his best to clean up the cuts in my face and on my arms, careful not to touch the used-to-have-a-finger part of my left hand.  
“What about us?“, Linda asks.  
“We have a friend named Garth“, Sam says, “He does what we do.“  
A hunter. I try to listen to the conversation, but my brain tells me I just missed something important, but I can’t put my finger on what it is. I barely notice that Kevin, Linda and Sam are looking at me expectingly.  
“What?“  
“How you holding up?“, Sam repeats.  
I shrug. I need some peace. I need to sort my thoughts. I missed something.  
“I wanna seal those bastards forever“, Kevin says and holds up my left hand, “He got her finger.“  
“Cas thinks he might be able to fix that“, Sam says.  
They keep talking a little, while I keep thinking. My thoughts are blurry, and I’m so tired.  
Just when Sam leaves us to go over to Dean and Cas, it finally hits me.  
“Sam!“  
They all look at me. I try to phrase grammatically correct sentences.  
“You said the cops come get the prophets. But Crowley said to Castiel that there were two prophets playing on his team. I thought he meant that all of them except for one and Kevin were dead, but they’re not. Why would he say something like that?“  
Sam doesn’t answer, neither do Dean and Castiel. They look at me, at each other and then at me again. I slide from the bonnet.   
“What did he mean by that?“  
“Listen, kid“, Sam says and walks over. All the others come closer, too. “He was talking about Kevin, and about you.“  
I look at him, unable to understand.  
“Me?“  
“Yeah.“  
“So I’m…?“  
“A prophet“, Dean says. How does he know?  
“Your name’s on the list of this generation“, Castiel says.  
I’m a prophet. Or, to phrase it better, I’m going to be a prophet. The thought crushes me, and I just stand there a few seconds. Then, Kevin comes over and hugs me, which is also when I notice that I’m crying.  
I stand there, holding on to him, while my whole world breaks down. I can hear the bad thoughts coming until they take over my mind.  
“That means Kevin will die before me. That’s it with free will. I have no choice.“  
But still, there’s one thing left deep inside of me, something that I’ve been holding on to.  
As I sob into Kevin’s shirt, it’s ringing in my ears, even though it’s just in my mind.

There’s always a way.


	7. 8x14 - Let's take some drugs and sprint

“Good morning Warsaw!“, an enthusiastic male voice says in the radio, almost not audible through the buzzing alarm.  
I sigh and stretch. I slept on the weird chair-sofa thing that Garth has standing in his boat, and I slept for only a few hours since it’s only 5 am.  
Like every day.  
Kevin turns off the alarm next to the bed I forced him to take. Because, I mean, I could sleep at any time. He, on the other hand, is the one that actually needs to do something, so he really needs to sleep rather well for the few hours we have.  
I get up from the sofa and catch the pen Kevin tosses me from the bed while he stands up, then I cross the date from the calendar. January 11th, 2013. And we’re still stuck in this boat because the translation of the tablet takes so goddamn long.  
We step into the main room of the boat and grab some coffee, then Kevin and I sit down at the table. He takes the tablet, I take his notes and try to make some sort of sense from them. Each of us takes some headphones, listening to music. I think Kevin got into Rock lately, or maybe it’s just because it’s loud and keeps him from falling asleep. I listen to some calm stuff, just because I like the vibes. A few weeks ago, I blasted loud music, too, but I got tired of it. To be more specific, I got tired in every way possible. It’s been so long since we slept for more than like two or three hours, but I guess we gotta pull through.  
For lunch, we eat some sausages really quick, then we go back to work. To help Kevin, I bring his notes in order and hang them on the wall so that important infos are visible at once. I concentrate on Kevin’s handwriting, which used to be very neat, but got messy pretty fast. I mean, of course, obviously.  
From time to time, Kevin takes some of the Aspirin we keep on the table. He explained to me long ago that reading the tablet is like trying to read something in a very small white font on a yellow background during an earthquake with someone else’s glasses. It may sound really mean, but I am so glad that I’m not a prophet yet. I’m really sorry for what Kevin has to go through- That’s why I’m helping him.  
We go to sleep without changing at 2:45 am. I feel kinda greasy, even though I try to shower every three days or so. Kevin on the other side just wants to finish this job and get back to Linda. I felt so bad sending her away, but Kevin’s right, she wasn’t helping. 

“Good morning Warsaw!“, an enthusiastic male voice says in the radio, almost not audible through the buzzing alarm.  
I sigh and stretch. It’s 5 am. I get up from the sofa and catch the pen Kevin tosses me from the bed while he stands up, then I cross the date from the calendar. January 14th, 2013.   
To help Kevin, I bring his notes in order and hang them on the wall so that the important infos are visible at once. From time to time, he takes some of the Aspirin we keep on the table. I take a shower.  
We go to sleep without changing at 2:45 am.

“Good morning Warsaw!“, an enthusiastic male voice says in the radio, almost not audible through the buzzing alarm.  
5 am on January 25th, 2013. We work, we eat, we work. We go to sleep at 2:45 am.

“Good morning Warsaw!“  
5 am, the 1st of February. Work, eat, work. I ignore that I wanted to shower. Go to sleep at 2:45 am.

“Good mor--!“, I turn off the alarm. I watch Kevin carefully, making sure he’s still sleeping. 5 am, 7th of February.  
It’s been over a month. He deserves one day, one day off. Now I have enough time to seriously think about the post-its and notes he made.   
It’s mostly a mess. The word “Death“ everywhere, “Hell“, “Demons“, everything. I listen to some music while I put the relevant ones on the wall.   
Then, after hours, I finally have them all up. I feel like I understand. I stand in front of the wall, which is now barely visible under all the notes. I take off my headphones, currently playing is New flesh by Current Joys, as I try to process their meaning, mumbling.  
“Gates…of hell. Death of Demons… And a dog. A dog by hell, no… A dog from hell, a hellhound, gotta die… Three, three tasks, no, three trials… Bathing in blood…“  
Finally, it hits me.  
“Holy crap“, I say loudly. And, even though I have a headache, even though I haven’t slept and even though I am absolutely tired, I start laughing. “Holy crap!“  
“Mila?“  
I turn around. Kevin woke up. He looks confused, at me, then the alarm. It’s noon.   
“Why didn’t you wake me?! Did you turn off the alarm?!“  
He sounds angry. Why is he angry? I feel kind of dizzy. Kevin gets up.  
“What’s wrong?“  
He walks towards me when I don’t answer. I’m distracted by my nose feeling weird. When I touch it, there’s blood. I have a nosebleed. I stare at my finger, as I realize that I probably stayed up for too long.  
“We got it“, I whisper, then I collapse.

“Don’t worry“, is the first thing Kevin says when I wake up, “Sam and Dean are on their way.“  
I blink a few times, then I realize what happened. I sit up on the bed where Kevin seems to have laid me down. I collapsed after I found out what the tablet means.  
“Kevin, I--“  
“I know“, he says. He takes a tissue and dabs under my nose. Right, the nosebleed.  
“I figured it out when I saw the notes.“  
Relieved, I close my eyes for a second. From now on, things can only get better. When I try to get up, Kevin puts his hand on my shoulder and forces me back down.  
“I’m fine“, I say, but Kevin shakes his head.  
“Just shut up, idiot.“, he says. Of course, he’s not actually mad.  
From outside, I can hear a door opening and closing. It sounds like the first metal door, leading to the small hallway of the boat. Then, the second door opens, and two pairs of steps come closer. The door to the bedroom opens and Sam and Dean Winchester come in.  
“Hi“, I say smiling. Now that I can think clearly again, the feeling of absolute happiness slowly comes back. We figured the important stuff out.  
“What happened to you?“, Sam asks and puts his gun down. The last time I saw a gun, a God’s right hand fired at Sam and threatened to shoot me before he got struck by Thor‘s hammer Mjölnir. Yeah, I’m completely over that.  
I try to stand up again, and Kevin doesn’t stop me. The dizziness is completely gone. I guess it was really just because I didn’t sleep.  
“Just a little dizzy“, I play it down while we walk into the main room together. Sam and Dean didn’t ask us to stay up way too long, so it’s not their fault Kevin and I are making our own life so miserable. Also, we don’t need a discussion right now, I just want to tell the brothers the news!  
“You look like hammered crap“, Dean comments on our looks.   
“Thanks“, Kevin replies.  
Yeah, come on now. He didn’t sleep much more than I did, except for today, and I passed out because of sleep loss.  
“Are you sleeping?“, Sam asks.  
“Do we look like?“, I remove the last bit of blood with my sleeve.  
“Eating?“  
“Mostly hotdogs“, Kevin says. Ew, don’t remind me.  
“Sure, breakfast for champions“, Dean shrugs, “I feel dirty saying this, but you might want a salad. And a shower.“  
I roll my eyes. If we could leave the boat to get some actual food, we would, that’s for sure. Sadly, we are pretty easy to recognize for demons. Castiel said something about how a prophet’s soul differs from normal souls while healing me after Crowley decided to torture me. Wait, where is Castiel? I didn’t thank him for healing my asthma, too, yet, mostly because I didn’t realize it was gone at first.  
“Look“, Kevin says annoyed, “I get a headache as soon as I look at the tablet, and Mila passed out and got a nosebleed, even though the nosebleed stuff happened before to both of us.“  
Yeah, he’s right. We had some pretty bad times lately. But we did get something from it.  
“It was worth it, though“, I say.  
“What was worth it?“ Sam looks confused. That’s what I’m trying to explain here, Giant.  
Kevin points at the half of the tablet that’s lying on the table. “We figured out how to close the Gates of hell.“  
We did! We did do that! Sam and Dean look at us unbelievingly.  
“Son of a bitch…“  
Wait, I remember Dean saying that in a happy voice. Back in the church. He said that after Kevin told him there was a possibility to close the Gates of Hell. But this time, it’s even better, because now we know how to do it. We all start laughing, and Dean comes over to hug Kevin, then me. He kinda picks me up while hugging me, I guess because I’m the smallest person in the room. Wait, this is the first time the brothers are actually laughing. How long have they been dealing with demons and what did they lose for them to be this happy?  
“So what are we looking at?“, Sam asks.   
Kevin and I show them the wall we made with Kevin’s notes.  
“It’s a spell“, I say and take one piece of paper down to hand it over to Dean, “Some words in Enochian.“  
“The spell has to be spoken after you finish each of the three trials“, Kevin adds.  
“Trials, like Law and Order?“, Sam asks.  
“Exactly“, I say. The brothers look at me confused. I roll my eyes. “No, more like Hercules.“  
“The tablet says “whosoever chooses to undertake these tasks should fear not danger, nor death, nor…“, Kevin pauses and thinks for a second, “A word I think means getting your spine ripped out through your mouth for eternity.“  
“As the Zodiac Killer would say, “Good times“, I say. I’m sorry for the one doing the trials. I hope neither Sam nor Dean will try. Maybe someone who’s immortal can do it, maybe an angel. “Basically, God built some tests, and when you do all of them, you can slam the Gates.“  
“So, what?“, Sam asks. Come on, that was quite literal. “God wants us to take the SATs?“  
That would be awesome, our SATs back in our days were great.   
“I guess“, Kevin answers, “He works in mysterious ways.“  
“Mysterious douchey ways“, Dean says, “Where do we start?“  
“‘till now, from the translations, we only figured one yet.“ I look at the wall with the notes again. “You’ve got to kill a hellhound and bathe in his blood.“  
Actually, that sounds like something Sam could manage. I mean, he just needs his car and some time alone, and, bam, he hits a dog.  
“Awesome.“, Dean says.  
“Awesome?“, Sam repeats confused.  
“Yeah.“ Dean looks confident. “If this means icing all demons, I got no problem gutting some devil dog and letting Calgon take me away.“  
“Where you gonna find one?“, Kevin asks. Huh, he’s right. I guess supernatural creatures are hard to find, I never saw one until Kevin turned a prophet.   
“Hellhounds like to collect on crossroad deals, so we track down a loser who signed over his special sauce 10 years ago, get between him and Clifford the Big Dead Dog. Easy.“  
Well, Dean, as long as I don’t have to do it, it’s fine. I mean, being a to-be prophet doesn’t mean I like all the weird stuff, even though I’m weird stuff now, too, I guess.  
“Doesn’t sound easy.“ Kevin seems skeptical, too.  
“Oh, it’s not.“  
Uh, isn’t that what you just said?  
“You get on the Net, see what you can dig up.“, Dean turns away and starts walking towards the door, “I’m on a supply run, we need goofer dust, and the kids need something to eat that’s not mashed claws and fat. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.“ He winks, then he leaves.

“Okay, this is a lot better“, Kevin says as he comes back from the bathroom.   
He let me shower first, but I tried to be as fast as possible. We’re now wearing some clean clothes, and I finally don’t feel greasy anymore. I hand Kevin a cup of coffee that I just made at the small counter next to the fridge.  
“You two gotta slow down“, Sam says from where he’s sitting at the table, trying to find something weird from 10 years ago on the internet, while Kevin sips some coffee. He sounds worried. Wait, why? We are just getting close! “Get some sleep, take a day off, open a window.“  
“No!“ Whoa, this is weird. Usually, I don’t talk back to adults. Okay, maybe Crowley, but that was an exception.   
“You said nuking hell!“ Kevin sounds like he’s not agreeing with Sam, either. “That’s how we get out, that’s how we get home!“  
“But you can’t live like this!“  
God, Sam, what are you, our mom?  
“You think we want to?“, I ask, “I hate this place! But we can’t go anywhere else, because demons want to peel my face off to force Kevin to work for them after they snatched us, and we can’t talk to anybody about this except for each other, Garth when he’s there every month or so, or you guys when you have the time, or Linda!“  
“Right“, Kevin continues, “And when she calls, all she does is cry. We just need this to be over.“  
Sam sighs. “I know, I do. But trust me on this, this whole saving the world thing, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. You gotta take better care of yourselves.“  
That’s actually true. Maybe. Before any of us can say anything else, the front door opens and Dean comes in, a plastic bag in his hands.  
“Hi“, he greets us, “Did you know there are like 6000 kinds of tomatoes?“  
“Over 15,000 varieties“, I think. That was a fact in a book I read once, and for some reason, it kind of stuck with me. It doesn’t actually matter, though.  
Dean puts the bag down on the counter. “Did you find anything?“, he asks Sam.  
“Demon signs“, Sam answers, “Ten years ago, all centered on Shoshone, Idaho.“  
Huh, interesting.  
“Well, big-time mojo means big-time freak. So anyone got a horseshoe shoved up his ass?“, Dean asks.  
Nice phrasing.  
“That’s one way of putting it.“ Sam clears his throat and turns his laptop around so that Dean can see the screen. “Meet the Cassitys, small-time farmers who struck oil on their land in February ’03.“  
“Weird“, I say involuntarily. Now the boys are all looking at me. “The geographical surveys in the South of Idaho aren’t--“  
“I believe you“, Dean says quickly. Hey, rude. But, to be fair, it’s not something you’d need to know. “So, a deal?“  
“Best lead we got“, Sam answers.  
“Well, let’s go visit the Beverly Hillbillies.“   
It’s slowly getting to the point where I don’t even try to understand what Dean’s saying. Sam puts his laptop in his bag and stands up. Dean turns towards Kevin and me. “You two work on the second step, and if you come across anything on hellhounds, drop a dime, because, between the claws, the teeth and the whole invisibility thing, those bitches can be real bitches.“  
They’re invisible?! That’s probably why they’re hard to find.  
“And I got you a present.“  
What the hell? Dean turns around and takes two white cans out of the plastic bag.   
“The blue ones are for the headaches, and the green ones for pep.“ He pats Kevin’s shoulder. “Don’t OD.“  
“Thanks“, I say. That came surprisingly. I take the cans and look through the ingredient list. It doesn’t look too bad.  
Sam and Dean leave without saying goodbye. Kevin shrugs.  
“You think we should take the day off?“, he asks.  
We look at each other for a second, then we start laughing. Kevin drinks the last bit of his coffee, then we sit down at the table and he takes the tablet while I start looking through the notes and the internet, to find something about hellhounds, like Dean asked us too.   
I guess you can sprint a marathon, right?


	8. 8x19 - I do what anyone in my situation would do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8x19

“Mila!“  
Someone’s shaking me. I open my eyes. Above me, I can see Kevin’s worried face in the dark. It’s the middle of the night.  
“Kevin, what is it?“ I sit up.  
“Can’t you hear him?“  
“Hear who?“ I take Kevin’s arm when he looks away. “What are you talking about?“  
“Crowley“, Kevin says. I stand up.  
“Did you have a nightmare?“  
“No!“, Kevin says desperate, “I can hear him, right now!“  
I stay quiet for a few seconds. “I can’t hear anything.“  
“But he’s here!“  
Kevin runs to the main room. I follow him, but as soon as I get to the door, he rushes into the bathroom, then the bedroom, as if looking for something.  
“Kevin, whatever you’re hearing, it’s not real“, I say urgently. What’s happening here? Auditory hallucinations? Did he take too many of these pills Dean gave us?  
“But it’s him!“ Kevin looks behind our jackets that are hanging on the wall as if expecting to find Crowley behind.  
“Well“, I say as I watch him look under the bed, “What is he saying?“  
If I know what Kevin is hearing, maybe I can calm down.  
“Last time you irked me“, Kevin says while looking into the cupboard. It sounds like he’s actually reciting something. “She lost a finger.“  
That… Sounds an awful lot like Crowley.  
“Kevin--“, I start, but he ignores it.  
“Imagine what will happen this ti--“  
With a shocked expression, Kevin turns around.  
“What?“, I ask when he doesn’t continue.  
He stares at me for a second. Then, he starts screaming.  
“Kevin!“, I shout, but I almost can’t hear myself. Is he hurt?! Is he seeing something?! I rush over to him. His screaming descends to whimpering. I put my hand on his cheek. He’s crying.  
“Whatever you’re seeing, it’s not real“, I say as calm as I can. When he doesn’t answer, I carefully push him towards the bed and sit down next to him. He’s staring at the floor. What just happened?!  
“Mila“, Kevin says quietly after more than a minute. I look up. “We need to call Sam and Dean.“

Kevin’s clinging onto the pan he picked up hours ago when he opens the door. He seems genuinely scared. I still have no idea what happened, but I tried to calm him down, which obviously didn’t really work out. Sam and Dean step in, and Kevin shuts the door, checking the lock twice.  
“Jeez, what’s going on?“, Dean asks, “What’s with the SOS?“  
“It’s him“, Kevin says.  
“Who?“  
“Crowley“, I explain, “Kevin hears his voice and sees weird stuff.“  
“He’s in my head“, Kevin says.  
“In your head?“, Sam repeats.  
“Yes!“, Kevin says urgently, “You know what that means?!“  
“It means we need to up your anxiety meds“, Dean says, “Kevin, you’re dreaming.“  
Hey, I may not think Crowley is actually there, but that was damn mean!  
“He’s not dreaming“, I defend my best friend, “He woke up and started running around, hearing Crowley telling him what he would do to me the next time we meet--“  
“And I saw it“, Kevin interrupts me.  
Oh. That’s why he was screaming.  
“If Crowley knew where you were, he’d do a hell of a lot more than mess with your head“, Dean tells Kevin.  
“Where’s Garth?“, Sam asks, changing the subject. Yeah, that’s a really good question.  
“A case, I guess“, I reply.  
“Or the dentist“, Kevin adds, “Or shopping. I don’t know, he isn‘t around much.“  
“Okay, then what couldn’t you tell us on the phone?“, Dean asks, then he adds “Would you put the frypan down, please?!“  
“The second trial“, I say while Kevin puts the pan away. I almost forgot about that over worrying about him. “Kevin just translated it.“  
We walk over to the tablet. Sam and Dean look surprised.  
“You crazy kids“, Dean says happily, “Nice work!“  
“And if Crowley’s in my head, he knows!“  
Sam and Dean start talking at the same time.  
“He’s not in your head, it’s okay.“  
“He’s definitely not in your head, Kevin.“  
“You’re stressed“, Sam says, “Just stay with us, alright? What’s the second trial?“  
Kevin looks at me before he answers. I nod. “An innocent soul has to be rescued from hell and delivered unto heaven.“  
“Unto?“  
Is that actually what’s confusing Dean most? “That’s how God talks“, I say.  
“Rescue a soul from hell?“, Sam asks, “Like, actually go to hell? How do you get a soul unto heaven? How do you even get a soul out of hell?“  
“We’re gonna need an expert“, Dean says.

I open the door for Dean a few hours later. Sam’s not with him, I guess he’s on his way to hell, and I hate that that’s literal. Dean’s carrying something to eat.  
“Kevin?“, Dean says loudly after he looked around.  
Kevin opens the door of the cabinet he’s been hiding in. I thought about staying in there with him, out of solidarity, but it’s really dark and small in there, so I figured I should get some work done instead.  
“The closet seems to be the safest place around“, I explain after I see Dean’s confused expression and lean against the table.  
“Safe from what?“  
Oh come on, isn’t it obvious?  
“Crowley“, Kevin answers without leaving the closet.  
Dean rolls his eyes.  
“He’s in my head, Dean“, Kevin says heatedly, “And if he’s in my head, he knows where we are! You know, we should move out, we should find a new place.“  
I may not believe in Crowley actually being there, even though I trust Kevin’s instincts, but still: Getting out of here would be really nice.  
“Jeez, Kevin“, Dean says, “Would you chill out? Have a burger.“  
Burgers. Ugh, I remember the good times, when we were vegan and ate healthy stuff. But, finally, Kevin leaves the closet and comes over to get some food.  
“Just tell us when this is over, okay?“, I ask Dean. When the Gates of Hell are closed, we won’t have to be scared anymore. And I won’t have to be a prophet anymore, I guess, as putting all demons away should solve most of God’s problems.  
“As I told you before, this isn’t going to end“, Dean answers while Kevin eats something for the first time in hours, not even listening to our conversation, and then goes back to the closet with some food. I look at Dean, and I don’t know how to feel.  
“Look, girl, other guys, they got it easy, you know?“, Dean explains, “It’s all backyard barbecues and bowling teams. But you, me, boy wonder“, he looks at the closet for a second, “We gotta carry a little extra weight.“  
No. I don’t want any extra stuff. I may have chosen to stay, but it gotta have an end someday. I don’t look up as I answer.  
“I can’t take it.“  
Dean leans forward.  
“Yes, you can.“  
I don’t answer. I mean, what am I supposed to say? I’m a seventeen-year-old girl, I’m neither strong nor able to fight nor anything.  
“Hey, look at me.“  
Dean’s urgent tone makes me look up again.  
“This whole thing sucks, I know“, Dean says, and the way he says it, it sounds like he had decades of experience, “But you push through because that’s what we do. And when you get on board with that, the ride is a lot smoother.“  
So he’s telling me, that, basically, when I accept that my life is a nightmare, it’ll be less of a nightmare? That sounds kind of fake.  
“French fry?“, Dean asks and slides one of the cardboard things over to me where they put your drink and your food in. I take one. Dean reaches for his own, but something seems to be off, as he looks at the closet where Kevin is hiding. I notice that there’s an empty spot at his cardboard thing.  
“That’s my pie“, Dean says. I almost laugh at his heartbroken expression, but I’m not that mean. I guess pie is something nice left in Dean’s probably miserable life. So I give him mine, take the rest of my food and go to the door leading to the bedroom, where we have a second desk on which I have my laptop.  
“Call me when there’s a good day.“

I slam the door behind me as I step back into the boat. Dean, who apparently made some scrambled eggs, looks up as Kevin gets out of the closet.  
“What happened to being scared?“, he asks, and I guess he means both of us.  
“We made a preemptive move“, Kevin says.  
More like a dumb move, but once Kevin put his mind to something, I can’t really stop him. So instead, I helped him.  
“You did what now?“  
“We can’t sit here with the tablet like a sitting duck and Crowley breathing down my ass“, Kevin explains while I take my jeans jacket off, “Getting rid of the tablet just takes off some of the pressure.“  
“Getting rid of it?!“  
Dean sounds furious.  
“Temporary“, I say quickly, “I hid it.“  
“Where?“  
“If we tell you where it’s not hidden, is it?“, with that, Kevin shuts the door of the closet again.  
I turn around to go to the bedroom. Dean looks so mad, and if I’m being honest, I’m kind of scared. Not because I think he’d do something to me, just because he looks like that.  
“Mila“, Dean says in a really low voice, “Tell me where the damn tablet is or I swear to you--“  
“You what, Dean?“  
Dean doesn’t answer. I step over the threshold of the next room.  
“Mila--!“  
But I shut the door. He can’t do anything to us. Kevin feels better this way. What’s so bad about it? I mean, if he’s right and we’re safe, he shouldn’t be worried about what could happen.  
Outside, I can hear Dean talking a little. Probably he’s mumbling to himself. Then, without a Goodbye, the front door opens and closes. We’re all alone again.  
I open a new Browser on my laptop and look Sam and Dean up. Wait, that’s weird. This looks like some kind of book…  
When I start reading the book, I notice something’s off. I don’t know, it just feels weird. So… real. I just read the first book, there are five seasons and over a hundred books. I don’t know how, but either someone wrote a book series about Sam and Dean, or it just happened coincidentally. Either way, it feels like I’m invading their personal space, so I close the Browser and shut the laptop down. When I look at the clock, it’s past 11 pm. I stand up and stretch a little, then I walk through the main room and knock on the closet’s door.  
“Kevin? Will you be sleeping in there?“  
A few seconds pass, then, the door opens. Kevin looks freaking exhausted.  
“Do you think it’s safe to be in bed?“, he asks, and he sounds like he’s serious.  
“Do you think the closet is much safer?“, I reply, and, in the same second, realize that I should have said something like “Don’t worry“ or so. Well, as Kevin steps out of the closet, I guess it worked anyway.  
“We need the paint.“  
Okay, it didn’t work.  
“Kevin, you should sleep, seriously.“  
He looks at me. “I’ll go to bed after I repainted the warding sigils.“  
I sigh. From the look in his eyes, I can tell that nothing I say could change his mind.

I reach up and repaint a sigil at one of the windows with red paint that was stored in the closet Kevin hid in.  
“It’s a dream. It’s just a dream.“  
I turn around. Kevin looks around the room from where he just repainted another sigil. It looks like he’s hearing stuff again.  
“No“, I say and can’t hide my worried undertone, walking over to him, “You’re awake, but it’s just your imagination.“  
Of course, I could just tell him this is a dream, but when you can’t wake up from a dream, you only have one possibility left. It works because the brain doesn’t know what happens afterward, so when you die in your dream, you always wake up. I don’t want Kevin to test this theory right now.  
Suddenly, the ground starts shaking. What’s happening?! The warding sigils on the windows glow red, and the wind howls from somewhere, really loud. Kevin pushes me in the corner, away from the windows. I press my hands on my ears because the wind is so loud. Then, the windows shatter, and it all stops.  
I can hear a little hizzing sound, like from a candle being put out. I slowly look up.  
Crowley sighs. “Kevin and Mila. It’s been a while. Thought you could elude me forever?“  
He looks at me mockingly. “There’s always a way“, he repeats what I thought to be my last words when he tortured me, “If you can’t find one Tran, find another.“  
Wait. How did he get past the warding?! And he’s not talking about…?  
“Linda Tran didn’t want to give you up.“  
Oh no. No, he didn’t.  
“She has quite a pain threshold. But even she could only take so much.“  
“She never would have told you“, Kevin hisses.  
He’s standing up to Crowley as if he wasn’t scared. Funnily enough, I’m not really, either. I mean, he could torture me again, but now I know how it goes. And if he kills Kevin and takes me, fair enough, I won’t help him, either. And if he kills both of us, bad luck, because only we know where our half of the tablet us.  
“Mom’s are like that, aren’t they?“, Crowley asks, “So we killed her and got the address from her smartphone.“  
What?! He killed her?!  
“No!“, Kevin yells. I’m scared to say anything because I think I would burst into tears as soon as I open my mouth.  
“What you people never seem to understand“, Crowley says, “Is that you are nothing. Fleeting blips of light. I am forever.“  
He’s right, I guess. Immortal and all. Whatever happens next, I don’t get a say in it. So, as always, I do the only logical thing anyone in my situation would do:  
I start screaming in frustration and anger like a little kid.  
Whatever happens next doesn’t matter.  
Because we push through it. And now that I understood that, the ride is a lot smoother.


	9. 8x21 - We taunt the king of hell while waiting for him to kill us

I wake up to the sound of a blaring ship horn. I’m laying on the couch, and through the windows, broad daylight lights up Garth’s boat. I can see Kevin sit up on the bed. Man, I had that one nightmare again. I had it some days ago for the first time, but I can’t remember how many days exactly. In my dream, Crowley snatches us. But, I guess if he did, it wouldn’t be too bad. I mean, we have all the translations online. If we were to die or something, we wouldn’t reset the timer, and they would send themselves to Dean and Sam, along with a video message.  
Just when we stand up, there’s a knock on the front door.  
“Come on, it’s us, open up!“, Dean shouts from outside.  
Relieved, I sigh. For a second I thought my dream was real because they didn’t use the secret knock, but that wouldn’t make any sense at all. I guess it’s just an irrational fear. Or, as Crowley is really dangerous, a rational fear. Maybe that’s why I have this feeling every day.  
When Kevin opens the door, I splash Sam and Dean with some holy water, ignoring their complaints.  
“You didn’t use the knock“, Kevin says annoyed, “What’s the point of a secret knock when you don’t use it?“  
A secret knock. I feel so silly about that idea. But, I guess it helps. Sam holds up a bag.  
“We got it.“  
His facial expression looks a little out of place. Doesn’t matter, I let them come in.  
“Got what?“, I ask.  
Sam puts the bag down on the table.  
“We caught a tip“, Dean explains, “That Crowley was moving his Earth-side operations, so we, uh, laid an awesome trap.“  
No pop culture reference? I’m disappointed.  
“And it worked“, Sam says while Dean takes something out of the bag. Wait, is that…?  
“We got the other half of the tablet“, Dean says. They did it. They really did it! Dean hands the half over to Kevin. “There’s your light at the end of the tunnel, kid. Don’t say we never got you nothing.“  
“We can get the third trial“, Kevin says excited and rushes over to his notes, “We can finally figure out how to close the Gates of Hell on Crowley’s ass!“  
I watch Sam and Dean. Again, Sam’s facial expression doesn’t look like him. But, whatever, I don’t really know him. Furthermore, we got more important stuff to do. I sit down next to Kevin.  
“Sounds good“, Sam says, “So we digging up the other half of that thing or what?“  
I point to the wall that is now even more covered in notes than the last time they were here. “Don’t need to.“  
“So, um…“ Sam clears his throat, “Special K, keep your nose to the God-stone. We’re gonna drive out and make a lot of noise a long way from here, keep the safe boat safe for you two.“  
That sounded like something Dean would say. They say something like Goodbye, but Kevin just gave me the first page he wrote something translated on. But first, I open my laptop and go to the remote server where we have to reset every week so that the E-Mail with the translations and the video message won’t send. Usually, Kevin does it on Saturday, and I check on Sunday. It’s not reset.  
“Did you reset?“, I ask Kevin. He nods. “Are you sure?“ He nods again.  
I close the website without resetting the password. Something’s going on.  
Looks like we’re back in business.

It’s almost a day later when Kevin slams his pen down. Dean, who was looking over our shoulders, comes over.  
“You okay?“  
“I can’t, alright?“, Kevin says frustrated, “There’s a break in the stone. There’s key writing, I can’t make it out.“  
Well, I’d say that’s bad, but something’s definitely going on here, as I already have some notes about the third trial lying in front of me. Dean looks at Sam.   
“You guys were right“, Kevin says, “We do need the other half of the tablet to get the trial. It’s not too far from here.“  
“Awesome“, Dean says a beat too late, “Uh…Well, what’s the 10-20?“  
I quickly think, then I write an address on a piece of paper.  
“Could you get us something to eat while you’re on the way?“, Kevin asks and hastily throws some words on another paper, “Garth said there’s a nice shop at the other end of the town.“  
They read what we wrote down. Then, Dean nods.  
“Sure, kids.“  
Okay, that’s it. These aren’t Sam and Dean. We can’t tell these guys where the other half of the tablet is. Well, good thing I didn’t. The two demons leave the boat. Kevin looks at me. I shake my head. Of course I didn’t actually wrote down the address where we hid the tablet. Instead, they’re walking directly into a trap. The question now is, how do we get out of here?  
I’m pretty sure that this is Crowley’s game, and my dream was real. He probably erased our short-term memory. Because of the E-Mail that we let send itself yesterday, Sam and Dean think we are dead, because that’s what we said in the video message. So it’s just the two of us against everyone else, again. I guess we won’t make it out alive, but that’s fine . As soon as the demons tell Crowley where I sent them, he’s gonna storm in here and he’s going to kill us both. But Sam and Dean have all our translations, and Castiel knows all the other prophets. Isn’t it funny how I was going to be a prophet after Kevin, and now we die simultaneously?

We grabbed something to eat. We still have some chicken ribs. What a nice last meal. Sitting at the table, we wait for Crowley to burst in.  
After about one hour, the door finally blasts open. Crowley steps in. He looks rather calm, but from what I know about him, I can tell that he’s furious. I should be scared for my life. Sadly, or, luckily, I adjusted with the fact that I’ll die in a few minutes. Oh man, and I wanted to be an FBI agent. I guess life never goes the way you expect it to.  
“You little brats“, Crowley says and comes closer, slamming a bloody tablet on the counter. Wait, I haven’t seen that one before. Is that a third tablet? “You having fun yet?“  
We continue eating. I’d say it’s a little funny to mess with Crowley.  
“Screw you“, Kevin says grinning.  
“Am I seeing this?“  
Crowley gets no answer. He sighs.  
“How’d you figure it out?“  
“Well“, Kevin answers, “First, they forgot the secret knock.“  
“But it was mostly the way they acted“, I say, “The way Sam talked, and how Dean thought about what to say before he did say it. Also, the real Winchesters wouldn’t drive to the other end of town to get us food when we still have some.“  
“So“, Crowley says, “My demons were too polite?“  
Now that he said it, it actually sounds kind of sad. Kevin thinks, then he nods.  
“Yeah.“  
“Well, I’ll be a son of a whore“, Crowley says. Whore? How old is this man?  
But instead of doing anything, he just kinda walks around in the boat a little. I guess he’s thinking about what to do to us. I can’t help but giggle a little at his expression. Kevin decides to taunt Crowley a little more.  
“You know, the Winchesters are up to the third trial“, he says, “They’re gonna shut the doors of hell.“  
Crowley stops pacing. “I’m not worried, kid.“  
I take the half of the tablet that’s lying on the table in front of me.  
“You have no idea how much more is on this tablet.“  
We stand up to look at Crowley face-to-face. Fun fact: He’s kinda short.  
“The power you could have gotten with this“, Kevin says, “If you weren’t running around like a chicken with his head cut off.“  
“You think I can’t make you tell?“  
Oh, so now he’s circling back to old threats. I smile and put the half of the tablet in the pocket of my jacket. Crowley’s going to dig through my corpse to get it back after he killed us.   
“Go ahead, torture me“, I say, “Cut off my finger, I have a new one. But you can’t make us tell, and you know that, too.“  
Crowley thinks for a second. “You know, I’ve already won.“  
Ah yes? Well, now I’m excited.  
“I have the angel tablet, you little smudge.“  
Oh, so that’s the bloody stone. Angel tablet. Sounds kind of poetic. However, that’s not my problem anymore.  
“And I don‘t“  
Crowley lifts his hands.  
“Need“  
We fly backward and slam against the wall. There’s high pressure on my throat. I can’t breathe. Died of suffocation. There are worse ways.  
“You!“  
Darkness creeps in the corners of my field of vision. I feel dizzy and my head hurts. Kevin gasps. He takes my hand.  
Then, something weird happens.  
Kevin’s eyes start glowing. In my numb mind, I make the connection to the day lightning struck him and he became a prophet. High-pitched whining rings in my ear, as if I was in a room with a million old TVs. Then, moments before I pass out, the wall is gone and I can feel some soft material I sit on. I guess I’m dead.   
Yay.

“Kevin, Mila!“, someone says. It sounds like that person is talking through water.   
I slowly open my eyes. I’m sitting on a sofa next to Kevin. The real Sam and Dean look at us. We’re in a room full of books. I can’t help but smile. Somehow, we got out.  
“We’re good“, Kevin says.  
I put my hand in the pocket of my jacket. It’s there. I pull out the half of the tablet.  
“Third trial“, I say. Dean looks down at us unbelievingly as I hand him the half.   
“We didn’t tell Crowley“, Kevin explains. I knew it.  
“So, what is it?“, Sam asks. Now that I think about it, he looks kind of ill. He’s not the one doing the trials, is he…?  
“To cure a demon“, someone says.  
I look around and see an old man. Who’s that and how does he know that?  
I guess that whatever happens now will be okay. Nothing’s worse than death, is it?  
We got the third trial.  
We got the power.  
Now we just need some time.  
And a really good therapist.


	10. 8x23 - Sacrifice

Just when I see Sam and Dean get out of their Impala, Kevin pulls the other half of the tablet out of the dirt. We spent the last minutes digging it up from where we hid it. Sam and Dean come over.  
“You hid the Word of God underneath the Devil?“, Dean asks me and points to the billboard with the Devil on it above us, “Seriously?“  
“I was kind of delirious“, I say as I hand Kevin our half of the tablet that I kept in my bag, and remember how I took a bus that day and drove as far as possible after Kevin told me to hide the tablet from the closet he was sitting in.   
Kevin takes the two halves and puts them together. They merge, just like the Leviathan tablet did back in the psychiatric ward. Man, it’s been over a year since that happened.   
“You think this is going to work?“, Kevin asks as he gives the repaired tablet to Dean.  
“Do we have a choice?“, Sam replies.  
Dean takes a box with a weird key in it out of his pocket. “Alright, listen“, he says, “This is a secret lair, you understand me? No keggers.“  
He hands me the key and a piece of paper with coordinates.  
“We don’t have any friends left“, Kevin says. Sadly, that’s the truth.  
“Who knows“, Dean replies, “You’ll be mathletes again before you know it.“  
I dig the day I can study math formulas instead of demon facts. 

“Is this a joke?“, Kevin asks.  
We’re standing in the library of the bunker Dean gave me the key to. It’s really pretty, old and big. I didn’t explore any other rooms yet. Then, Castiel and Dean showed up and gave us another tablet, the one Crowley had in the boat before Metatron, the scribe of God teleported us out. By the way, Metatron is a coward, just so you know.  
“No, it’s the Word of God“, Castiel says.  
“It’s a tablet“, Dean adds, “Now get to work, that’s what you two do.“  
Kevin chuckles unbelievingly. And, to be honest, I’d like to do the same.  
“Okay, first of all“, Kevin says, “It’s the angel tablet, which I never laid eyes on in my life. You want a translation in, like, six hours, when it took us six months and a dead mother to translate a piece of the demon tablet?“  
Kevin pours himself something to drink.  
“According to your own words this morning“, I tell Dean, “It’s not we do, it’s what we did. You told me we were out.“  
“Yeah, well--“, Dean starts, but I don’t wanna hear it again.  
“And if this is gonna be the “guys like us are never over“ speech, you can save it.“  
Suddenly, Castiel grabs my collar and pulls me close to his face. Kevin’s glass shatters on the floor as he jumps up.  
“Dean’s right“, Castiel says and looks me dead in the eye. Excuse me, could you please let me down?!  
“Cas“, Dean says, and it sounds kinda annoyed.  
“There is no out“, Castiel continues, “Only duty.“  
“Let go of me“, I say, and my voice sounds subdued. Shame on me, but Castiel actually lets go of my collar. He points at Kevin.  
“You are a prophet of the Lord, always and forever.“ He pauses. “Until the day you cease to exist and another prophet takes your place.“  
Castiel pushes us towards the table where the angel tablet is lying.  
“Now, are you clear as to the task before you?“, he asks.   
Kevin nods, I say nothing. I mean, what is there left to say?  
“Then do it“, Castiel says, “We must go.“  
There’s a rustling sound, then Dean and Castiel are gone. We’re alone, as always.

It’s night when I call Dean to tell him what we found. He picks up immediately.  
“Yeah?“  
“I think we found the angel trials“, I say and put him on speakers while I look through the notes Kevin made once again. He hasn’t stopped writing yet. “There’s nothing about Nephilim or Cupid’s bow or anything like that, like you texted me.“  
“Come one, girl“, Dean says. He sounds annoyed. Excuse me, we’re just trying to help! “We’re on the 1-yard line here.“  
I hate football.  
“I should have mentioned this six months ago“, Kevin says and looks up, “But the sports metaphors? You wanna motivate us? Try Magic cards, Skyrim, that stuff.“  
“Yeah, I don’t know what that means“, Dean says.  
I sigh. “Can we just concentrate, please? What I’m trying to say, all the stuff Metatron told you to do, it’s not on the tablet.“  
No reply.  
“Dean?“, Kevin asks. Still no answer. “Dean?!“  
He didn’t hang up on us. We can hear someone talking, a woman.  
“Murdering a Nephilim, cutting off a Cupid’s bow“, she says, “It’s a lie, all of it. I’ve been in his head.“  
It all was a lie? Metatron lied? But Dean and Castiel did that stuff now. What will that bring about?  
“You’ve been in all our heads“, someone else answers. I think it’s Castiel. “That’s the problem.“  
“No, Castiel“, the woman says, “You’re wrong.“  
“This is what you do. You twist things.“ Castiel sounds hateful. “I’m trying to fix heaven, Metatron is trying to fix heaven.“  
“Metatron isn’t trying to fix anything“, the woman replies, “He’s trying to break it! An act of revenge for driving him away.“  
I look at Kevin. What the hell is happening over there?  
“Break it how?“, Dean asks.  
“Expel all angels from heaven“, the woman answers, “Just as God cast out Lucifer.“  
That sounds… Really bad. But why would Metatron do that?  
“Cast you out“, Dean asks, “To hell?“  
“Here“, the woman says, “Thousands of us walking the earth.“  
“Lies“, Castiel hisses.  
“Wait!“  
It sounds like Castiel just tried to attack and Dean stopped him.  
“Our mission was to protect what God created“, the woman says. Yeah, that’s what you did. Looking at all the suicides and world hunger and whatever our life became. “I don’t know when we forgot that. I want nothing more than to see you shut the Gates of Hell, but I told you that you could trust me. If Sam completes those trials, he’s going to die.“  
Wait, what?! Sam is the one doing the trials?! And he’s going to die for that?!  
“What the hell are you talking about?!“, Dean asks.  
“I saw it in Metatron’s head!“ The woman sounds like she’s crying. “It was always God’s intention, the ultimate sacrifice. As for you Castiel, I’m begging you, stop this path. Metatron has been neutralized.“  
Can someone please go get Sam?!   
“If you want back in truly“, the woman says, “I will listen.“  
There’s a rustling sound. I guess she just teleported. Suddenly, Dean talks to Kevin and me again.  
“Hey, right now, talk to me. Is she lying?“, he asks.  
“I don’t know“, Kevin says and digs through his notes.  
“Well find out“, Dean barks, then he hangs up.  
Kevin looks at me. I point at the tablet.  
“We can’t have angels all around, and we can’t have Sam dying, can we?“  
He nods. Then we start working.

We try. We really do. But there’s nothing we find. Kevin slams his pen down.  
I look up.  
“I’m not doing this“, Kevin says.  
“What?“  
“Mila, think“, Kevin says urgently, “Who are we doing this for? We can go, we can leave this right now, and no one will ever know!“  
“You’re kidding, are you?“  
Kevin shakes his head and stands up. I get up, too.  
“Who are we doing this for?!“, I repeat what he just said, but my voice is slightly different. Angrier. “We’re doing this for Sam, and Dean, for Castiel!“  
“What did they ever give to us?!“, Kevin shouts, “Except for this stupid life?“  
He turns away from me and takes a few steps.   
“They gave us nothing, Kevin“, I say, and even though I’m really mad, I try not to raise my voice at him. “But this is not only about them, this is not about us! It’s about the people out there!“ I point at the bunker‘s door. “You can’t tell me that there’s nobody, nothing left out there that you care about!“  
“I didn’t choose this! You did!“ Oh, so you that’s what he’s thinking?  
“Yes, for you!“, I reply, “I chose to help you and stay with you, and I thought it was my choice, but it wasn’t, okay? I’m a prophet, too! One day, I’ll be where you are now! And you know what’s worse?“   
Why am I crying? Why am I crying?!   
“That means that I’ll outlive you, get that?! It’s a promise that my best friend will die before I do! We can’t let anyone die, Kevin, haven’t we let enough people down?!“  
Great, now we’re both crying. Kevin looks up.  
“I’m sorry“, he says quietly.  
“Me too“, I whisper.  
Then, before we can say anything else, the machines next door start powering up. Red light beams through the bunker. We rush to the first room where the staircase to the entrance and all the machines are. They are whirring, all the lights glow, an alarm starts blaring. On the map table in the middle of the room, red dots appear all over the world.  
Something is going on.  
I think, this time, the consequences of what’s happening can’t be reversed.


	11. 9x2 - The King of Hell is our bitch and I don't like it

Do I know how to shoot a bow? Mh, no. Am I going to shoot whoever’s opening the door to the bunker right now? Mh, yeah. I stand next to Kevin at the entrance of the library. He found a crossbow somewhere, not that any of us know how to use it, though.  
As soon as someone comes in, I shoot. I must say, the practicing I did the last two days really did some good, as that person needs to crouch in order to not get hit. The arrow hits the wall behind him, the one Kevin shot hits the railing of the staircase.   
“What the hell?“  
I look closer.   
“Dean?!“, Kevin asks unbelievingly. Oh my God- Yes, that’s Dean!  
“You’re alive!“, I say and go around the table we tipped over to hide behind it.  
“Yeah, because you’re a crappy shot“, Dean says, takes the arrows and starts walking down the stairs, “Katniss.“  
“Sorry“, I say. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I hit him.  
“We had a bad couple days“, Kevin says, “We haven’t slept, or eaten.“  
“After we talked, this place went nuts“, I explain while Dean throws the arrows on the map table, “There was an alarm and all the machines freaked out, and the bunker just locked down!“  
“We couldn’t open the door“, Kevin continues, “We were locked in, and our cellphones weren’t working!“  
“We thought the world was ending“, I say. Will Dean please explain what was going on that night?  
“Close“, Dean says, “The angels fell.“  
After a short silence, Kevin replies. “What does that mean?“  
“Nothing good.“  
So all the angels fell and are now on earth. Along with the demons. Sam didn’t finish the trials, did he…?  
“Listen, next time the world is ending“, Dean takes the bow out of my hands and takes Kevin’s crossbow away, too, just to throw them both on the map table, “Grab a gun.“  
Yeah, nice. Because I know how to use that, or what?! Dean takes out his phone.  
“I got service.“  
What? How?! Did the lockdown stop? I press the power button of one of the machines. It all powers up, which it didn’t do just three hours ago.  
“We’re back online“, Kevin says, “Maybe when you opened the door from outside, it reset the system.“  
“Yeah, let’s go with that“, Dean replies. He seems to have no idea what Kevin meant.  
I can hear the front door open again. I turn around to see Sam. He’s holding someone shorter who has handcuffs on, a black bag over his head and ear protection over that. Sam’s alive! I’m happy about that, but at the same time, I know that means that the demons are all still around. And I’m confused, because, apparently, Sam and Dean made a prisoner. Wait, that body type looks kind of familiar…  
“All good?“, Sam asks.  
“Is it ever? Come on“, Dean says while Sam pushes the other person and starts walking down the stairs.  
The brothers and that man leave the room through a doorway that leads to a staircase downwards.  
“No“, Kevin whispers.  
“You think that’s…?“  
“Yes“, he says without letting me finish.  
He starts pacing around in the library. I sit on the table. Why is Crowley here? I thought they killed him! Finally, Sam and Dean come back.  
“What is Crowley doing here?!“, Kevin shouts as soon as they enter the room, “Why isn’t he dead, why don’t you stab him right now?!“  
“Chill out, Kevin“, Dean says annoyed.  
“What?“, I ask. I can’t believe it. It’s actually Crowley, and after all that he did, they’re letting him live?!  
“Mila, look“, Sam says, “If we can get Crowley to give us the name of every demon he got top-side, we can hunt them down!“  
“He will break“, Dean adds, “And when he does, we’ll hold him down while you knife him. Then we go out for ice cream and strippers.“  
Break Crowley, yes. Knife him, sure. Ice cream, absolutely. I’ll pass the strippers, though.  
“Just stay away from him, alright?“, Sam asks.  
Kevin thinks. I won’t make this decision for him. I may have loved Linda, but she was his mom, and Crowley killed her, so Kevin gets a say in this.  
“So now what?“, he asks then.  
“I gotta make some phone calls.“ Dean takes out his cellphone. “You two need to hit the angel tablet, see if you can find anything on the spell that Metatron used to empty out Heaven.“  
“And maybe“, Sam adds, “We can reverse it before the God Squad does too much damage.“  
“If we’re lucky. Alright, check the net for anything angel-y“, Dean tells Sam.  
“Or demon-y“, Sam adds himself.  
“Or monster-y or ghost-y.“ Dean sighs. “It’s gonna be a busy year.“  
He goes to make the phone calls, Sam leaves, I guess to get his laptop, and Kevin and I sit down at the table where the angel tablet still lies around. 

After some hours, Sam and Dean are long gone to look at some demon-y stuff Sam found, Kevin and I get a phone call. I dig through the notes to find my cellphone and look at the screen. It’s Dean. I put him on speakers.  
“Hi“, I say.  
“Hey, boss“, Dean says, “We got a little problem here.“  
What the hell is he saying?  
“Boss?“, Kevin asks.  
“Yeah, just local badge needs confirmation we’re supposed to be here. How the word came down from the FBI headquarters in DC.“  
Looks like they‘re having trouble with the police department. But what are we supposed to do now? We’re seventeen, or, well, I am, Kevin turned eighteen.  
“This is Seargent Miranda Bates“, a new voice says on the phone, “Who am I talking to?“  
She sounds like she won’t simply believe us. I think I have an idea. Time to use some computer skills I learned in highschool. I elbow Kevin so that he answers and pull the laptop towards me that’s still standing on the table.  
“Kevin, uh… Solo“, Kevin says.  
Solo. This is ridiculous.  
“How old are you?“, Miranda Bates asks. Dammit. I type faster.  
“Old enough“, Kevin says, “And I’m with the FBI, so you have to do what I say, or--“  
“Listen, kid“, Miranda interrupts him, “I don’t have to do anything, and I don’t take orders from the Feeb--“  
Finally, I find something about her. I slide the laptop over to Kevin so that he can see what I dug up.  
“--So unless you can give me one good reason why you have some pretty-boy agents poking around my crime scene, I’m gonna put them in cuffs and spank your ass raw, you understand?“  
She sounds furious. I still feel bad for blackmailing her.  
“Cabo, last June“, Kevin says while looking through the pictures, “That’s my reason. My favorite’s you wearing a sombrero and doing a body-shot off some naked dude in a luchador mask, super classy.“  
See, that’s why I don’t upload pictures to my computer. The internet never forgets.  
“How did you find that?“, Miranda asks subdued. Looks like I did find her weak point.   
Kevin makes a dramatic pause. “Cause I’m Kevin fricking Solo.“  
I have to put my hand over my mouth so that Miranda won’t hear me laugh.  
“So“, Kevin continues, “Unless you want these send to your commanding officer…“  
I quickly write down the name I found in Miranda’s files.  
“…Major Velasquez, I suggest you give my guys anything they want. Understand?“, Kevin says confidently.  
“Yes“, Miranda says.  
Kevin looks at me and grins. “Yes, Sir.“  
Miranda sighs. “Yes, Sir.“  
We wait a few seconds. Then, Dean is back on the phone.  
“What the hell did you just do?“  
We erupt in laughter.  
“All military computers“, I explain after a few seconds, “Are linked to the same network.“  
“And?“  
I shrug. “I hacked it.“  
“Hey, you know what?“, Dean says, “Good job, you two.“  
“I know“, Kevin replies.   
We both laugh at the reference, then Dean ends the call with a sigh. Giggling, we go back to work.

I just come back with some water when another phone rings. It’s one of Dean’s that he keeps in a box. Kevin picks up and puts the call on speakers so that I can hear it, too.  
“Hello?“  
“This is Dean’s number“, a female voice says, “But you’re not a Winchester. Who are you?“  
I can see him panicking internally. If that’s a hunter colleague, we could say our names, but if that’s a demon, we can’t tell her anything.  
“Uh… Nobody“, Kevin says.  
“Well, Nobody“, the woman replies. Wow, I thought only Dads could make Dad jokes. “I need you to give those boys a message for me. I have something they might want. The names are Irv Franklin and Tracy bell, and it’s 44.053051, by negative 123.127860. They are hunters, and if they don’t go to save them, I’ll kill them.“  
I grab a pen and quickly write the coordinates down. The woman hangs up. Kevin immediately calls Dean.  
“Dean, this weird woman just called“, he says very fast after he put Dean on speakers, “And I think she kidnapped someone you know but we’re not sure but she said you’d want it back and she called your phone and I didn’t tell her who I was but--“  
“Okay, hey, Kevin, slow down“, Dean says, “What happened?“  
“She gave us these coordinates“, I say and read them out, “44.053051 and by negative 123.127860, and two names: Irv Franklin and Traci Bell.“  
“Irv’s a friend“, Dean says, “Don’t know Traci.“  
“She said they are hunters“, Kevin says, “And if you didn’t go save them, she’d kill them.“  
“Oh, I’ve heard that song before“, Dean says.  
“Dean, who was she?“, I ask.  
“She’s the bad guy“, Dean answers, “Alright, girl, new job, dig up everything Men of Letters have on Knights of Hell.“  
“Knights of Hell“, I repeat. Whatever that means. “Sure.“  
“You find a way to kill one“, Dean tells me, “I mean, permanently, drop a dime.“  
“Thanks, you two“, Sam says before Dean ends the call.  
Kevin throws the phone back into the box.  
“I’m gonna look in the archive“, I say and remember the big room in the cellar that we found during the lockdown.  
I walk down the staircase and open the door to the archive. The lights turn on by themselves. I just hope the Men of Letters archived the files under some obvious name, “Knifing Knights“, or something. Suddenly, I hear someone calling.  
“Mila?“  
So this is where they hid Crowley. I try to ignore his voice that’s coming from behind a shelf and start looking through the boxes.  
“I know it’s you“, Crowley continues, “I’d recognize the pitter-patter of those little feet anywhere.“  
I don’t answer. That box looks promising, it’s about different kinds of demons. But it’s up too far, I can’t reach it, and there’s nothing around that I could stand on.  
“Kevin“, I shout, “Can you help me with something?“  
I can hear his footsteps, then he enters the archive.  
“What is it?“, he asks.   
I point at the box. He reaches up and gets it down for me.  
“That’s right“, Crowley says.  
Kevin points at the shelf where the voice is coming from. I nod. He shrugs, and we walk towards the door.  
“Run“, Crowley says, “That’s what you do. You two are, what’s the word…? Weak.“  
Kevin stops walking. I turn around and shake my head. He looks furious. But that’s exactly what Crowley wanted.   
Well, he’s our bitch now.  
If he wants a lesson taught, we still have enough strength to give him that.  
Kevin opens the secret door that’s hidden by the shelves. There’s Crowley, chained to a chair in the middle of a Devil’s trap. He smiles as we step inside the room.  
“So“, Crowley asks, “What brings you to my boudoir, handsome?“  
I can’t even look at his disgusting little rat face. I’m not mad, this is different. I simply hate him. In a cold way.  
“You’re gonna tell us how to kill a knight of hell“, Kevin says. Wow, I didn’t think about that.  
“Abaddon giving you trouble, eh?“, Crowley asks, “I tell you what, you let me go and I’ll spit-roast the little whore for you. Sound good?“  
I can’t help but chuckle.   
“You’re bluffing“, Kevin says.  
“I do know“, Crowley replies, “I know plenty. For example, I know she’d love you.“  
Shit, he’s trying to make Kevin angry.  
“Skinny, submissive… You’re just her type.“  
“Shut up!“, Kevin hisses while pacing through the small room.  
Shit, he managed to make Kevin angry.  
“What’s on your mind, Mila?“, Crowley asks me, “You can tell me. We’re friends.“  
“You tortured me“, I say and lift my left hand for a second, the one where he cut my finger off.  
Crowley shrugs. “I torture all my friends. That’s how I show love. I was raised in a dysfunctional home environment.“  
Me too, big boy, and I can’t see myself taking over hell.  
“You killed my mom!“, Kevin shouts at Crowley.  
“Did I? I mean, are you sure? Did you ever see a body?“  
Why is he messing with us like this? Is it for fun? Does he actually think we’ll let him out if he only annoys us long enough?  
“How can you be sure she’s dead?“, Crowley asks.   
He can’t say more, because Kevin rushes forward, and, with a scream, smacks him right across the face.   
“You can do better than that“, Crowley says, even though he’s coughing up blood, “Let it all out.“  
Kevin looks over to the wall. There are plenty of tools in there, hammers, blades. We can’t torture Crowley right now, we don’t have the time. And, if I’m being honest, Kevin kind of scares me.  
“Maybe we should--“, I start, but Kevin takes a hammer and starts beating Crowley, shouting.  
I take a few steps back until I can feel the wall in my back. My best friends screaming louder than I ever heard him be, and smacks Crowley, again, and again, and again.  
Finally, Kevin puts the bloody hammer down.  
“There“, Crowley says unbothered, “Now that you’ve felt your feels, maybe we can talk.“  
“No“, Kevin replies. I can hear in his voice that he’s still angry. At least he stopped beating the King of Hell into a pulp.  
“I’ll make this simple “, Crowley says, “Let me go, and I’ll give you back your mother. Any problems?“  
“Your face“, I say, “And she’s dead.“   
“Oh, she wishes she was“, Crowley replies, “After what I had my heavies do to her, she’s begging for it. But when have you ever known me to let anyone off easy?“  
We don’t answer. The possibility that Linda could be alive is awesome, is great. But Crowley would say anything to get out of here.  
“You think Sam and Dean care about her?“, Crowley asks, “You think they care about you, Kevin and Mila? You two are just here to serve their needs.“  
I guess he’s kind of right. I mean, it’s not about Kevin, it’s about him being a prophet. It’s not about me, it’s about what would happen if I weren’t there as an replacement.  
“You’re going to lose“, Crowley says smugly, “Everything. And when the Winchesters are done with you, they’ll toss both of you aside without a second thought, because they can, because they think they’re special.“  
I don’t know. Of course, Dean is pretty bossy, and Sam doesn’t do anything about it, but still. I guess they’re trying to save everyone. How did it go in the book? Saving people, hunting things, the family business.  
Crowley wiggles a little. “I’m the one in chains, but all three of us are prisoners.“  
I tuck at Kevin’s sleeve. “Let’s leave. We don’t have any more to say to this sucker.“  
Kevin stares at Crowley for a few more seconds. Then, we leave the room and close the secret door. As soon as we’re out of the archive, Kevin starts skipping up the stairs. When I get to the library, too, he’s running around with his bag.  
“Kevin, what are you doing?“, I ask as he’s putting on his jacket.  
“What if Mom’s still alive?“, he replies urgently.  
“That was a lie“, I try to convince him, but Kevin shakes his head.  
“What if it wasn‘t?“  
He tosses me my bag that was still in the library.  
“I need to find her. Are you coming with me?“  
We look at each other for what feels like an eternity, even though it’s probably just a few seconds. Then, I nod.  
“But we’ll be back“, I remind him.  
“As soon as we find her.“  
I put on my jacket. “I’ll need to get my stuff from the bedroom.“  
Yes, I didn’t sleep, but I took a bedroom. Shame on me. We walk through one of the endless hallways. Kevin waits at the door as I put my clothes in my bag.   
“We will be back“, I tell myself, but I still feel guilty.   
Just when we leave the library and walk through the map room towards the staircase, Dean comes from one corridor and stands in our way. It looks like he and Sam are back early.  
“Where do you think you’re going?“, he asks.  
We walk past him.  
“Hey, hey, hey!“, Dean grabs the handle on top of my backpack and pulls me backward, “Talk to me!“  
Well, we tried to walk past him.  
“You can’t keep us locked in here“, Kevin says, “We’re leaving.“  
“Like hell“, Dean says loudly, “We told you not to talk to Crowley! He messed with your heads!“  
“He said my Mom’s alive“, Kevin replies, “And he said if we let him go, he’d give her back.“  
Dean looks unbelieving. “And you think that’s true?“  
“He’s still locked up, isn’t he?“, I reply. This is not the first time Dean thinks we cooperated with Crowley, and I’m getting tired of it.  
“If she’s alive“, Dean says and looks at Kevin, “She’s dead. In every way that matters, she’s dead, Kevin, I’m sorry.“  
Yeah, I’m sorry, too. For Kevin to have the hope that Linda was still alive.   
“I know you two are dying to bolt“, Dean continues, “Really. But out that door, it’s demons, and angels and they would all love to get their hands on some prophets, so even with Crowley here, this is still the safest place for you two.“  
He puts his hand on my shoulder when I avoid looking at him. “And we need you.“  
“Because we’re useful“, Kevin says.  
“Because we’re family“, Dean corrects him. Family. “After all the crap we’ve been through, after all the good you’ve done… If you don’t think that we would die for either of you“, he shrugs, “I don’t know what to tell you.“  
A tear rolls down my cheek, and I can tell that Kevin’s about to cry, too.  
“Because“, Dean says, “You two, me, Sam and Cas, we’re all we’ve got. But if none of that matters to you, then I won’t stop you.“  
In the short silence following, I’d like to say that I think about what Dean said. But actually, I don‘t think anything. Finally, Kevin shakes his head. Dean smiles a little.  
“Go get some sleep, kids. Tomorrow’s a new day.“  
Tomorrow’s a new day.


	12. 9x6 - My life is in season 17 and someone keeps writing weird stuff to make it interesting

“So the big news“, Sam asks, “Is that you translated the tablet into doodles?“  
Damn it, Sam, Kevin can’t do anything about it. He looks at the tablet’s symbols, he sees this. I’d suggest we ask Castiel about it, but he hasn’t been around.  
“It’s cuneiform“, I say. No doodles.  
“I hit a wall trying to translate the tablet into English“, Kevin explains, “But Mila found an ancient codex linking the angel script to Proto-Elamite cuneiform, so I managed to translate the tablet into Elamite, which is--“  
“Doodles“, Dean says.  
“It’s extinct“, I correct.  
“Well, can you read it?“, Sam asks. I wish.  
“No one can, scholars have tried for centuries“, I say. If it weren’t for this miserable situation, I think that Elamite would be quite interesting to read about.  
“So it’s a dead-end“, Dean says and puts down the notes he looked through.  
“Not quite“, Kevin replies.  
“See, most Proto-Elamite is abstract“, I say and point at the notes, “But it’s sometimes close to Mesopotamian, so I was able to decipher one line from Metatron’s footnotes, and it said Falling Angels.“  
I try to not make it sound like I’m bragging about it, but I’m actually really proud.  
“So the footnotes refer to Metatron’s spell?“, Sam asks.  
Kevin shrugs. “Maybe.“  
“Okay“, Sam says and walks over to the bookshelves, “Maybe if we can decipher the footnotes, we can reverse the spell--“  
“--And punt those winged dicks back to heaven“, Dean finishes the sentence for him, “Where do we start?“  
“Research“, Sam replies and throws him one of the books, “We comb through the library, see if we can find anything else on Elamite.“  
Kevin and I take one book each from the stack Sam put down on the table. Dean reads out the title of his.  
“Zimmerman’s encyclopedia of extinct languages, Volume one: Adai to Atakapa.“ He sounds annoyed. “How many volumes are there?“  
I look up. “Twenty-four.“ Yes, I counted.  
“Don’t worry, we got them all“, Kevin says.  
“Awesome“, Dean replies sarcastically.   
Sam scoffs, and we start reading. Then, out of nowhere, Dean’s cellphone rings.  
“There is a God“, he says when he picks up. Yeah, who would’ve guessed. “Hello?“  
He stands up and walks away from the table. I read in the book. I took one about Pre-Iranian civilizations, as that’s where Elamite was invented. It’s really boring, but I guess I’ll find something in it. I barely notice that Dean leaves the room, and Sam follows him. I only look up when they come back, Dean with packed bags, talking to Sam.  
“So he said nothing about where he is or what he’s been doing?“, Sam asks while he follows Dean to the staircase.  
“It’s Cas“, Dean replies, “In case you forgot, he’s not exactly Chatty Cathy.“  
“And you’re not even gonna see him when you’re in Idaho?“, Sam asks unbelievingly.  
“Well, like I said“, Dean says while walking up the stairs, “As long as he’s catnip for angels, he’s keeping his distance.“  
“What’s the point then, Dean?“, Sam asks, “I mean, it’s barely even a case!“  
“That’s why I’m just gonna go have a little look-see and we’re not gonna waste the whole lot of manpower on a big pile of nada“, Dean answers from the top of the stairs. Doesn’t convince me.  
“In other words“, Kevin says, “A perfect excuse to bail out on research.“  
“You got me.“ With that, Dean leaves.  
“Is he always like this?“, I ask.  
Sam chuckles and shrugs. We get back to reading.

We go on for hours. Sam gets a phone call from Dean. I sit in my chair sideways, Kevin has his feet on the table. Except for some interesting facts, we haven’t found anything new on Elamite. Sam puts down his phone.  
“I’ll be back“, he says.   
Kevin doesn’t react, I nod and throw him a quick smile. Sam leaves through the hallway leading to the rooms downstairs. I guess he’ll be looking in the archive. I haven’t been down there since Kevin almost smashed Crowley’s head. I avoided the King of Hell, for obvious reasons.  
After about an hour, I can hear Sam calling for us. “Kevin, Mila, get down here, will you?“  
We put our books away and walk down the stairs. I take one piece of paper with some Elamite on it with me, maybe Sam found something helpful. He‘s standing in front of the archive. He has no books with him. That can only mean one thing.  
“You didn‘t“, Kevin says. Looks like he figured it out, too.  
“Look“, Sam tries to explain, “Crowley says he can read Elamite.“  
“Come on, Sam“, I say. I can’t believe what he’s saying. “ Even I can tell that there’s a downside to this.“  
Sam scoffs. “He wants to make a phone call to hell.“  
“To Abaddon?“, Kevin asks. Sam nods. “Seriously? You want to let Crowley communicate with Abaddon?“  
“A king and a power-mad knight of hell isn’t enough for you?“, I ask, “You want to throw a demonic team-up into the mix?“  
Sam shakes his head. “I don’t trust Crowley, either, but I don’t think he’d team up with Abaddon, he hates her too much.“  
So, based on what he’s believing to know about his enemy, the King of Hell, he wants to take that chance?  
“You said it“, Kevin replies, “We can’t trust him.“  
“We don’t have to“, Sam says. Now it sounds like he already made up his mind and is only trying to convince us. “Crowley’s bound, we can end the call whenever we want. Even if he wanted to give Abaddon information, he has none to give her, he doesn’t even know where the bunker is.“  
I think. Sam’s kind of right.   
“He says he can decrypt Elamite?“, Kevin asks.  
Sam nods.  
“What if he’s lying?“, I say.  
Sam nods again, thinking. “You’re right“, he says then, “We’re gonna need proof.“  
Kevin takes out a piece of paper with some Elamite on it that I drew and hands it over to Sam. It looks like he took one with him, too. Sam, Kevin and I walk through the archive and Sam opens the secret door. There’s Crowley, sitting behind a table. Kevin leans against the doorway as I try to look unbothered. Sam slams the paper on the table and slides it over to Crowley.  
“What is this?“  
“Ingredients“, Crowley replies.  
“More specific“, Sam demands.  
“Ingredients for a spell“, Crowley clarifies, then he pushes the paper away. Sam slides it back to him. Crowley sighs. “Heart of a Nephilim, Cupid’s bow, Grace of an angel.“  
Wow, he really wants that phone call. Wait, aren’t these the ingredients Metatron had Dean and Castiel get? That means Crowley actually can read Elamite. I don’t know if that’s a good thing. I put the piece of paper I took with me on the table, too. Crowley looks me dead in the eyes.  
“Phone call.“  
I don’t reply but look at Sam, instead.  
“Now who’s gonna be a dear and open up a vein?“  
Looks like Crowley needs blood to make a call. I guess that’s how hell works. Sam takes some kind of bag that is hanging from the wall, next to the blades. There are syringes in it. He puts it on the table, together with a bowl, then he takes one and puts it at his arm.  
“A-bup-bup“, Crowley stops him.  
“What?“, Sam sounds annoyed.  
“Not yours“, Crowley demands, “Hers.“  
Ew. Why? Kevin takes a small step forward so that he’s standing slightly in front of me.  
“What’s the difference?“, Sam asks.  
“I’ve had yours“, Crowley says, “I’ve had prophet’s blood. She doesn’t count as that yet.“  
“No way“, Kevin says loudly.  
“What’s wrong, Short Round?“, Crowley asks smugly, “Is your girlfriend afraid of needles?“  
“She’s not my girlfriend“, Kevin clarifies. If it weren’t for the situation, I would have said something like ‘What? Honey, why?‘. “We just have a policy of not giving blood to demon douches.“  
Crowley sighs. “I have time.“  
Hey, that’s my blood we’re talking about. I’m not afraid of needles, and I can see blood, but just the thought of Crowley having mine disgusts me. But he would be useful for translating…  
Sam scoffs. “You’re a dick.“  
He starts putting the syringes away. Last second, I make a decision and quickly take one. No one stops me as I roll up my sleeve and prick it in my left arm, the one where I have the anti-possession tattoo. It hurts getting the blood out, but not as bad as getting tortured. Or getting your finger cut off, or almost getting strangled. I guess Crowley did give me something, even though it’s just a higher pain threshold. I hand Sam the syringe and he puts my blood in the bowl standing on the table and slides it over to Crowley. I step back and lean against the wall.  
“Inferni sectatores, Nunc audite regem“, Crowley says. My blood starts bubbling and makes a hissing sound. I guess demons use blood instead of phones. “This is Crowley“, Crowley continues, “Connect me to-- Crowley.“ He looks up for a second. “Bad connection.“ He looks at my blood again. It looks like he can hear someone or something. “If you don’t connect me to Abaddon right away, I will be forced to--“  
He looks up again, annoyed.  
“What, what happened?“, Sam asks.  
Crowley rolls his eyes. “I’ve been put on hold.“  
Ha. Loser. I guess being the King of Hell doesn’t give him much more privilege in hell than it does in this dungeon.  
After a few minutes of silence, Sam finally speaks. “How long does it take to transfer a demonic phone call?“  
“Can it, Moose“, Crowley hisses.  
Kevin scoffs. “Crowley, you got your call.“  
“Yeah, it’s time.“ Sam walks towards the table.  
“It’s time when I bloody say it’s time“, Crowley barks. He sounds mad. He really counted on that call. Which, suddenly, seems to work, as he looks relieved. “Hello, Abaddon.“  
“Crowley“, the voice I heard on Dean’s cellphone comes from the bowl with my blood, “How in hell are you?“  
“Spectacular“, Crowley replies. Liar. “How are the numbers?“  
“You mean souls? I managed to on double our projections“, Abaddon answers, “Now how did I ever pull off such a feat?“  
“You’re taking souls before their time, voiding my contracts“, Crowley says. Judging by his voice, I assume that’s a bad thing.  
“That’s right“, Abaddon replies, “I’m taking it all down, brick by brick. The days of Crowley, king of bureaucrats, are done.“  
So, apparently, Crowley made deals to collect souls, and Abaddon takes them before their time. So Crowley did give humans something for their souls.   
“You ganky, putrescent skanger.“ Crowley uses the tone on her that he used on Kevin and me before he tried to strangle us. With other words, he’s furious.  
I can hear Abaddon chuckle.   
“It may look like bean-counting to you“, Crowley continues, “It may lack an adolescent flair, but my way works! You think you can control hell with chaos alone, without support of those who are still loyal to me?!“  
“Nobody has seen you in weeks“, Abaddon replies, “And the last time I saw you, Howdy and Doody had you tight up nice and tight. Seems to reason, they turned you into a kennel dog. How does it feel, Crowley, to be the Winchester’s bitch?“  
Crowley doesn’t reply.  
“It’s been fun“, Abaddon continues, “Indulging in your bluffs, but we both know you have no real authority left, no leverage. You have nothing to offer me. You have nothing.“  
I don’t know, she sounds like she’s kind of right. I guess demons like chaos more than bureaucracy.  
“Your way will backfire“, Crowley predicts, “You will burn.“  
“I can’t wait.“ Abaddon sounds more like she’s threatening Crowley instead of the other way around.  
There’s a whoosh, and my blood stops bubbling. Crowley pushes the bowl away and looks at Sam.  
“Now bring me the translations. I keep my agreements.“  
Quickly, I give him the piece of paper that he refused to read before.  
“Obtain the materials“, Crowley reads out, “Heart, bow, grace. Blah, blah, blah.“ He makes a dismissive hand motion. “Mix until the smoke shall rise from the ashes, casting the angels from heaven, blah, blah—Oh.“  
Oh? Did he find something?  
“It’s irreversible“, Crowley says. Oh.  
“What?“ Looks like Sam can’t believe it. I cross my arms.  
“The spell can’t be undone“, Crowley says, “New world order, we’re stuck with it.“  
Sam looks shocked. I don’t really know what that means. Fine then, angels on Earth. They are probably angry that they’re here. Oh, and, as I already learned, they have some pretty freaky powers. Okay, now I get why Sam is shocked.  
Angels on earth, a demon in our basement and some salty hunters and a prophet as my best friends.  
Now all we need are some unicorns.


	13. 9x9/9x10 - Gone

I settle down in the bunker’s library again. It looks just the way we left it yesterday evening when Dean and Sam were still on that case with some angels. As I learned, they are very dangerous, and they are so angry about the fall that they are more aggressive than demons.  
Just a few minutes later, Kevin joins me with the angel tablet. He keeps it in his room at night, and I have a bad feeling that he tries to read it, even longer now than he says he does. I still try to find something on Elamite. I’m happy to say that I learned plenty about the time it was invented in, but I still didn’t find anything new on translating.

After hours, I feel like it’s time to take a break. I stretch. Kevin looks up and rubs his neck. I guess it hurts from looking down all the time.  
“Let’s go eat something“, Kevin says.  
I nod and we stand up. In the bunker’s kitchen, we find some frozen pizza. I put it in the oven and we sit down at the table, waiting for our food to get done.  
“Hey, Kevin?“, I say after a short silence.  
He looks up. “Hm?“  
“Did you read about Purgatory back on the Leviathan tablet?“, I ask. Kevin looks confused. Justified, I guess.  
“Yes, why?“, he asks back.  
I shake my head. “I was just wondering, you know, because Dean and Cas went there after the whole Dick-stuff happened. What’s going on there? Do you know?“  
Kevin shrugs. “Heavens, no. I mean, there wasn’t much about that on the tablet. I guess we had bigger things to worry about.“  
“Like screaming in Meg’s face“, I remind him grinning.  
He smiles back. “You punched her, stomped on Sam’s foot and sassed Dean.“  
I giggle. That was actually fun, even though I didn’t like how everyone stared at me while I talked. “Cas called you a hot potato.“  
“He did!“ Kevin laughs. “And then we got kidnapped a few times.“  
I nod. “We celebrated our birthdays in a church, remember?“  
“Hell yes! I hope our next birthdays will be less blasphemous.“  
Now we’re both laughing. Suddenly, Kevin stops.  
“What?“, I ask.  
Kevin looks at me seriously. “If there are Hell yes and Heavens no, is there Purgatory maybe?“  
As stupid as it may sound, I actually think for a second before I reply. “Purghaps.“  
We look at each other for about five seconds. Then, we burst into laughter. We don’t stop until the oven’s timer beeps and I get up to get our pizza.  
With one piece each, we go back to the library and eat there. I put the dishes away when we’re finished and wrap the leftovers up to put them into the fridge, then I go back to reading while Kevin translates some more.  
Just a little later, Dean comes into the library. I don’t know where he was, but I guess he just got some sleep after the case.  
“Hi Dean“, I greet him, “How did the case go?“  
He shrugs and puts his laptop down on the table we’re sitting at, pulling up a chair and starting up the laptop. “We didn’t find the angels that survived, but we know who made them do it.“  
“Cool“, I say, because I guess he figured we don’t need more information and doesn’t say more, “There’s pizza in the fridge if you want some.“  
Dean smiles, but he shakes his head. “Try to find more on the spell.“

We try, really. But we come up empty.  
“Dean, there may be nothing in here“, Kevin says after a few more hours of sitting and reading, “Crowley said the spell that let the angels fell is irreversible.“  
“Screw Crowley“, Dean replies. He sounds a little frustrated, I guess because neither of us was able to find anything. “Why would you think that anything he says is true?“  
“Why would he lie, though?“, I ask.  
“This part is nearly undecipherable“, Kevin says as if he weren’t listening. He puts his pencil behind his ear and looks at the tablet. “Almost as if Metatron wanted it to be unreadable, even for prophets.“  
“Hey“, someone says. I turn around to see Sam walking up to us. I kind of wave and go back to reading the boring book.  
“Check this out“, Dean says to Sam, “Another angel attack.“  
“What? Where?“, Sam asks and takes the laptop from Dean.  
“Utah, a college bible-study group, and their guest speaker, some top-shelf church lady. Insides scorched out, kids‘ eyes were missing.“  
Ew. Can the brothers please keep the nasty stuff away from our holy tablet-studies, thank you. I try to ignore the rest of the conversation and focus on the book, instead, until Dean looks at me.  
“Mila, Kevin.“ I look up. “Clock’s ticking.“  
As if we didn’t know that already. Dead kids that were supposed to be so-called vessels. That’s the same thing as ‘meat-suits‘ for demons, but, I must admit, ‘vessel‘ sounds much more graceful. Pun intended.

Time goes on. Kevin reads, I read, Dean eventually leaves the library, and Sam leaves the bunker, saying he’s going out. At 8 pm, I decide that we should eat something. I don’t want to interrupt Kevin again, not now. So I go to the kitchen alone, to make some sandwiches. Just when I put them on a plate, take two glasses of milk and turn around to go back to the library, Dean comes in.  
“Hey, you seen Sam?“, he asks.  
“He went out“, I reply.  
“Where?“  
“I don’t know.“ Dean can’t tell me he seriously thinks I even try to ask about that anymore. “You two do that a lot, you know.“  
“Yeah“, Dean says, just when his cellphone rings.  
I leave him alone with his phone call and walk back to the library, where I put the food on the table and hand Kevin one glass.  
“Thanks“, he says honest and drinks something before he takes one sandwich.  
He sounds exhausted. And he looks like that, too, just the way I feel. When we finish the sandwich, one each, we are literally almost falling asleep over reading. My head is close to the table as the arm I held it up with slowly slid lower and lower. Then, I shriek and jump up again when Dean suddenly stands in front of me and slams his hand on the table next to me. Kevin and I look up. He startled me.  
“I need a spell, ASAP“, Dean says urgently. Is this about the phone call he got?  
“Everyone always needs a spell“, Kevin replies, “And it’s always ASAP.“  
“Alright, listen to me“, Dean says, ignoring him, “An angel can’t be expelled by another human, only by the host, right?“  
I nod. That was in the notes Kevin wrote. I guess he needs to concentrate on translating and dealing with his headache, that’s probably why I, with a clear head, remember the facts better.  
“Well“, Dean continues. He sounds stressed. “What if there was a way to power down the angel so that it wasn’t in charge for a few seconds?“  
Where is Dean taking this from?  
“What?“, Kevin asks confused.  
“For instance, if--“, Dean thinks for a second, “If hypothetically, I wanted to speak to the vessel, but not have the squatter listen in.“  
“Who is this about?“, I ask suspiciously. Dean sounds as if he was really emotionally invested in this.  
“Who is this about?“, Dean repeats, “Mila, we’ve got tons of possessed humans out there, you with me? And when the angels kill each other off, the humans are taking it in the teeth. So what if I wanted to clue the human in so that he or she could spit the angel out? That would be a good thing, right?“  
Hm, he really is right. So he’s just searching for an alternative for an exorcism.  
“Uh, yeah“, I say, not mentioning that Dean still sounds very stressed.  
“Okay“, Dean says, “Hit the notes, let’s go.“  
He walks away. I sigh and take a look at the paper stacks on the table. Kevin shoots me a pitying look before reading the tablet again.

After another long hour, going through all the notes again, I finally find something that looks promising. Sigils, that, if painted right, repress the angel‘s presence in a possessed human. I need to look up some more stuff, but I am pretty certain that it could work.  
“I think this is it“, I say. Kevin looks up and takes a look at the Sigils I sketched on a piece of paper.  
“Dean overreacted a little, didn‘t he?“, he asks me. I shrug.  
“I noticed. He got a phone call before, so maybe it’s about Castiel or another hunter“, I presume.  
I stand up and Kevin follows me. “I’ll help you paint the sigils“, he says.  
I nod thankfully and we go look for Dean. He’s in what I believe to be his bedroom. He jumps up as soon as he sees us.  
“Did you find something?“, he asks.  
“Sigils“, I answer and show him the paper, “They can suppress the angel for some time.“  
Dean nods. “Awesome. Let’s start.“  
We follow him to a room that we don’t really use. It looks like a storeroom.  
“Dean?“, Kevin asks, sounding as confused as I feel, “Why would we paint the Sigils here…?“  
“Stop asking questions“, Dean demands and hands each of us one can with red paint and a brush, “Start drawing.“  
Kevin and I look at each other. I shrug. I do trust Dean, even though I didn’t get very much of it. So we start drawing the sigils.

“Alright“, Dean says when we enter the library again after we’re done, “This masterpiece we just painted, it’s gonna work, right?“  
“That’s what I said“, I say, “If the information’s right.“  
Dean stops walking. “Wait, what?“  
I shrug. “I only have the notes, and Kevin couldn’t find anything else on the tablet, so the rest is from the Men of Letters‘ books.“  
Dean looks annoyed and disappointed. That’s mean!  
“As soon as your blood touches the ignition Sigil, the spell kicks in“, I reassure him. I mean, what else am I supposed to do?  
“Dean, what’s going on?“, Kevin finally asks what I was asking myself all the time. I knew he noticed, too.  
“I told you“, Dean replies.  
“You told us theoretically.“ Kevin doesn’t give up yet. “Dean, we painted Sigils in the storeroom. What the hell?“  
Dean sighs. “You gotta trust me, okay? Trust me, I told you everything that I can right now. Can you do that?“  
“We always trust you“, I say. That’s the truth.  
“And we always end up screwed“, Kevin adds. Okay, that’s the truth.  
“Oh, come on, always?“ Dean shakes his head. “Not always.“  
He walks away.  
I look at Kevin. I guess that’s all he’ll tell us, no matter how hard we try.  
“Do you sometimes worry about him?“, I ask Kevin.  
“He’s like a soldier“, Kevin says instead of answering, “A prisoner of war, you know? He only says what he’s supposed to say.“  
“What a nice simile“, I reply.  
We laugh a little and go back to the library table again. Kevin looks at the tablet. I put the notes back to the stacks they were before I looked up the spell Dean asked for.  
From downstairs, I can hear yelling. I look at the doorway leading to the stairs, then I look at Kevin. It looks like he didn’t notice anything. Apparently, Sam is back and having an argument with Dean.  
Then, just a few minutes later, Sam rushes into the library. I look up.  
“Hi, Sam.“  
He doesn’t greet back and walks towards me and Kevin. I guess he’s still mad at Dean, for whatever they fought about.  
“Did you notice anything being a little off about Dean lately?“, Kevin asks and looks up, too. “Just between us, we’re worried about him.“  
Sam is directly in front of us. His facial expression is kind of weird, almost sad. “Don’t worry about Dean. Dean will be fine.“  
This is really off. Does this have something to do with the Sigils…? Dean rushes into the library, too, just as Sam puts his hand on Kevin’s head.  
Kevin’s eyes start glowing, and his mouth, too. He’s screaming in agony. I stand there for about three seconds.  
That’s not Sam. That’s an angel, and he’s hurting Kevin.  
I try to get to him, but not-Sam lifts his other arm. I fly backward against the bookshelf behind me and fall to the ground. On the edge of my field of vision, I see Dean flying away from not-Sam and Kevin, too. Kevin! I try to stand up, but my head is spinning. I can’t. I can’t do anything but watch. I watch as not-Sam takes his hand away from Kevin’s head. The glowing stops and he falls to the ground as not-Sam turns to Dean. Kevin‘s not moving. He probably passed out from the pain. I try to get a grip on my motions, which is difficult because my head still hurts from slamming against the bookshelf. My sight is blurry and I can barely see what’s happening.  
“Sam?“, Dean asks while being pinned against a pillar with an invisible force by not-Sam.  
“There is no more Sam“, not-Sam says, “But I played him convincingly, I thought. I heard you talking to the kids tonight. After all, a Sigil, if changed the slightest, alters the spell.“  
He puts the tablets, demon, and angel, into his backpack.  
“Sorry about Kevin, but ultimately, it’s for the best. I did what I had to.“  
Wait, what is there to be sorry about? Kevin’s just hurt. I can fix this.  
I can hear not-Sam walking over better than I can see it. He leans down and puts a piece of paper on Kevin’s chest. Then, he takes the backpack and leaves. I can hear the door open and close. Dean falls to the ground, and my sight gets less blurry. I guess not-Sam put a kind of spell on me so that I couldn’t see right.  
“Kevin?“, Dean says in a shaky voice. Why is his voice shaky? He must have seen worse injuries.  
I pull myself towards where Kevin is lying, and notice that the piece of paper on his chest says ‘Kevin Tran‘. I check for the pulse.  
There is none.  
All noise fades. Slowly, I turn Kevin’s head to the side so that I can see his face.  
His eyes are burnt out.  
I can feel a hand on my shoulder. I look around to see Dean. He’s crying. I can’t think anything. Dean shakes his head. I look at Kevin again.

He’s gone.

When I get back to the field with the gasoline from the Impala, Dean already lifted the figure in the white sheets on top of the pyramid made out of wood. We drove to this field just for this very reason. Dean takes the container from me and pours the liquid all over the pyramid. Then, he takes a lighter out of his pocket. I think he is just about to make it all burst into flames when he changes his mind and hands the lighter to me. I look at it for a few seconds and turn it in my hands. Everything about me feels numb, my mind, my body, my heart. Dean nods. I flip the lighter and turn it on. Leaning down, I hold it next to the small trail of gasoline. It lights up immediately, and the flames crawl up the wood in no time, lighting up the darkness of the night around us. We stand back a little and watch the corpse of Kevin Tran burn.  
Dean said that this is a hunter’s funeral. This is to make sure that the person doesn’t come back a ghost. Kevin always said he wanted his ashes to be thrown into the sea. With tears in my eyes, I watch the smoke fade in the sky. At least I know that there’s a God and an afterlife in heaven for Kevin to have. He deserves it all up there.  
However, up there is not by my side anymore.

Dean is quiet all the way back to the bunker. We walk down the staircase as if it were any other night. Emotionless, stiff, like an android, I look around and see the library table, just the way it was four hours ago, with all the notes we made on it. I pick one up, it’s the one with Elamite on it that Crowley translated in exchange for making a phone call to Abaddon. Before Dean asked us about a spell. Before we drew the Sigils. Before we knew what happened to Sam.   
Dean picks up Kevin’s cellphone that’s lying on the table and turns it on. It shows the picture I took of him and Linda almost a year ago. Before I know what I’m doing, I turn around and walk away from the library, through the hallway leading to what I claimed to be my bedroom, right next to Kevin’s. Behind me, I can hear a loud noise, books falling down, a lamp smashing. Dean is angry.   
I open the door to Kevin’s bedroom instead of my own. The bed is made, but there’s paper lying around everywhere, on the desk, the floor. I pick the bag up that’s leaning against the wall. It’s open, and on top of some shirts, I spy a wooden box. I take it out and sit on the bed. Carefully, I open the box. Inside, there are photos. I put the box aside and look at them, one by one. There’s a picture of a sunset by a lake. I recognize the landscape, it’s the lake by the dorms of our highschool. I look further. The photos take me back ages, back to places I almost forgot existed. I’m all caught up until I see the last picture. It’s a selfie I took of us two, the day before he became a prophet, at a café. I stare at it for a long time, wishing to be back there. It’s like my life replays before my inner eye, everything that happened since then, until it stops just yesterday. I take a deep breath and put the photos back into the box, but when I close it, I notice something shiny in it. I take it out. It’s a ring. I turn it in my hands. I think Kevin told me about this, I believe it’s his father‘s. He used to wear it, but he lost it once and I never saw it again. I guess he found it and was scared to lose it a second time. Carefully, I put it on my finger. It fits.   
From the library, I can hear two people talking. One‘s Dean, and the other one sounds like Castiel. Quickly, I put the box back into Kevin’s bag and skip down the corridor.   
Castiel sits at the table in the library while Dean stood up. His bag is lying on the table, it’s packed. The room is a mess, the lamp that used to stand on the table is smashed and books are all around, just as I thought. Nobody notices me.  
“Then who was he?“, Castiel asks. Looks like Dean told him what happened.  
“A dead man walking.“, Dean says full of hate.   
“But if you kill an angel, its vessel dies, too.“ Castiel sounds concerned.  
“If I don’t end Sam, then that halo burns him out, and I--“ Dean interrupts himself. He shakes his head. “God, I was so damn stupid.“   
Castiel stands up, too. “You were stupid for the right reasons.“  
“Yeah, like that matters.“ Dean’s voice is hopeless. He’s mad at himself.  
“It does!“ Castiel walks over to Dean. “Sometimes, that’s all that matters.“  
Dean doesn’t reply.  
“Listen to me“, Castiel continues, “Sam is strong. If he knew an angel was possessing him, he could fight, he could cast the angel out.“  
“Maybe.“ Dean doesn’t sound convinced. “But as far as I know, he’s in the dark. How do we clue him in?“  
Castiel crosses his arms, thinking. “You remember Alfie?“  
Dean nods.  
“Before he died, he told me the demons were able to dig into his mind, acess his coding“, Castiel explains, “We might be able to do that here, bypass the angel and talk to Sam directly.“  
Alfie is dead?! But he helped us!   
“Where do we start?“, Dean asks.  
“We need to question the one that did it in the first place“, Castiel replies, “Crowley.“  
There’s a short silence. Then, the two of them go over to one of the doorways and walk down the staircase, down to the archive. I could follow them, but I heard enough. I run down the corridor that I came from, past the bedrooms, take turns, until I’m in the part of the bunker I’ve never been to. I open a random door and find myself in a library. I can’t help but notice how pretty it is. The lights turn on by themselves. It has a high ceiling and more books than I could count. I take some out of the nearest shelf without looking at the titles and sit down at the table. They are about how an exorcism is made. I read them all, all seven, without having anyone bother me. Then, I just sit at the table without doing anything, for almost an hour, I think, before I throw the books against the walls, one by one. I’m mad, but I’m not mad about what happened, I’m mad at myself, for not feeling anything about it, for not comprehending. Tears blur my sight as I flip the table I was sitting at. The lamp that was on it flies through the air and slams against a shelf as I scream for him to come back.  
But Kevin Tran is dead.  
And I’ll never see him again.


	14. 9x11 - Not working things out helps working things out

Castiel takes a bite out of the PB and J sandwich I made him. We’re sitting at the map table.  
“Tastes like…“ Castiel thinks for a second. “Molecules.“  
I smile a little. The door to the bunker opens and Sam steps in. Looks like he’s back from getting groceries. “What?“  
I turn away so that I won’t need to look at him and try to block out his voice. I can’t hear or see him since the… incident. We haven’t talked ever since, well, Sam tried, but I wouldn’t let him. Mean, I know, but I just can’t. Well, to be fair, I haven’t really talked to anyone since Dean left with Crowley to kill the angel responsible, Gadreel.  
“As a human“, Cas explains, “I needed to eat constantly, it was kind of annoying.“  
“A lot of human things are pretty annoying“, Sam says and puts his bag down.  
“But I do enjoy the taste of food.“ Castiel points at his sandwich. “Particularly peanut butter with jelly. Not jam.“  
I take the bag and stand up. Sam leans against the table and keeps talking to Cas about the taste of sandwiches. Being an angel again, I guess it took some things from Cas. I walk down the stairs and put the groceries away. When I get back to the library, mainly to walk through and go somewhere else, Sam and Castiel are suddenly arguing. Can’t I leave them alone for just five minutes?  
“Maybe we should call Dean and tell him“, Castiel says.   
Sam shakes his head. “No, he wanted to go, and he’s gone. We’ll handle this.“  
They sit down at the map table. I guess they’d ask me to help if they needed me. But as they don’t, I go back to the less-known part of the bunker. Ever since I threw a fit in the library, I explored the rooms, as I have nothing better to do. I found a garage with plenty of vehicles, mostly cars. Sadly, I still can’t drive, even though I’m old enough to learn it. Also, I found another dungeon, more bedrooms, even more storerooms, a meeting room and something similar to the archive, but without a secret door. This night, I decided to draw floorplans. No, I did not sleep. I guess I just need a project to distract myself, even though I probably only want to avoid more social interaction than needed. But for that, I need paper, and I only have seen pieces of paper that would be big enough in one of the storerooms at the other end of the bunker. So I go back, but before I enter the library again to get to the other side, I listen to Sam and Castiel for a second, hidden next to the doorframe on the other side of the wall.  
“…So we may be able to use the grace left in you to track Gadreel“, Castiel just finishes his sentence.  
Wait, grace? Left in Sam by Gadreel? And they can use it to find him?  
“How would you do that?“, Sam asks.  
“Painfully. The Men of letters believed that the grace could be used to perform a spell“, Castiel explains, “But they were never able to test that theory.“  
“Well, they didn’t have a guinea pig, but we do“, Sam says.  
“You have a guinea pig?“ Castiel doesn’t seem to get the saying. “Where?“  
“Me, Cas. I’m the guinea pig.“ Sam sounds annoyed that Cas didn’t understand.  
I can hear paper rustling. Probably Sam is looking through the instructions for the spell. “Where do we find that?“, he asks.  
“I know where.“  
I can hear them walk up the stairs and leave the bunker as I finally enter the library. A ton of files lie on the table. I look through one of them for a second. It’s mostly about how to extract the grace. Castiel is right, that does seem painful, especially because there’s a concept of a weird looking syringe in the file. I guess that’s what Sam and Castiel are looking for right now. However, they didn’t ask me to help, so I won’t help. Instead, I walk straight through the library towards the storeroom.  
I was right, there are big sheets of paper in it, and I even find different pens in there. I sit down directly on the floor and start drawing a concept. Beginning with the library, I try to draw all the rooms I saw till now. But I have problems with the proportions, so I need to start over and over again.  
Suddenly, after the fourth try, I can hear someone screaming, loudly. I jump up. It sounds like Sam, and he’s in pain. For a second, I’m back in the library, and see the golden light. Then, I’m in the storeroom again. I run towards the screaming that’s slowly fading.  
I stop in front of a door behind which, as far as I know, the ward is, with some beds and stuff. I listen to what Castiel and Sam are saying.  
“All that’s left of Gadreel is in here now“, Castiel says.  
“Dammit.“ Sam sounds frustrated. Why, did something go wrong?  
“Sam, I want Gadreel to pay as much as you do, but nothing is worth losing you. You know, being human, it didn’t just change my view of food. It changed my view of you, I mean, I can relate now to how you feel.“  
“I don’t know what you mean.“ Sam sounds majorly confused.  
“The only person who has screwed things up more consistently than you“, Castiel explains, “Is me. And now I know what that guilt feels like. And I know…“ He pauses for a second. “I know what it means to feel sorry, Sam. I am sorry.“  
Nobody says something for a moment.  
“I know“, Sam replies then.  
“You know, the old me would just have kept going. I would have jammed that needle deeper until you died, because the ends always justified the needs. What I went through…“ Castiel chuckles. “Well, that PB and J taught me that angels can change, so, who knows? Maybe Winchesters can, too.“  
I can hear footsteps and jump away from the door. I hide around the next corner and watch Sam and Castiel come out of the ward and walk towards the library. I slide down the wall until I sit on the floor. If it weren’t for Castiel, Sam would’ve given his life to find Gadreel. I don’t get that. Dean left, Kevin left, and now he would‘ve been willing to leave, too? I feel the tears sting in my eyes. I feel kind of betrayed, actually, even though I know it’s not justified. Sam is trying to cope, and he just has different ways than I.  
“Mila!“, Sam shouts.  
I stand up and walk down the hallway towards the library, drying my eyes with my sleeve. When I get to the library, Sam and Castiel are looking through the files.  
“We found a way to track Gadreel“, Sam says without looking up, “It’s a spell. Do you think we have this stuff here?“  
He hands me a piece of paper from the file. I look over the list of ingredients, then I nod. Sam and Castiel look at me.  
“Mila? Have you slept? Or eaten?“  
Sam sounds concerned. I avoid looking at either of them and don’t reply. The truth would be that I’m not really, but that’s not Sam’s business. I leave the library without a word to go to one of the storerooms I found, one that has all kinds of magic stuff. I can hear Castiel following me, but I ignore it.   
When we’re at the door and I enter the storeroom, I look at the list again, then I look at the jars and boxes on the shelves. Looks like we do have all of the ingredients here. Castiel enters the room behind me without saying anything. I hand him some jars, then I take some myself. When we have everything, I leave the room, but Castiel doesn’t follow me. I turn around but don’t actually face him.  
Castiel takes a breath as if he wanted to say something. But he doesn’t. I look at the floor as he walks past me. I follow him back to the library and put the ingredients down on the table.  
“Thanks.“  
I know that Sam is watching me, but I don’t look back at him as I nod and then leave the library to go back to the room where I’m making the floorplan, leaving the boys alone to perform the spell.

After some time, someone knocks at the door. I look up as it opens. It’s Sam. How did he know where to find me? He looks tired, disappointed, even sad. I guess that can only mean one thing. He steps a little closer and clears his throat.  
“I, uh… It didn’t work. I’m sorry.“  
Finally, I can get myself to look at him. And, surprisingly, this time, it doesn’t take me back, even though he’s here, and I’m here. Maybe it’s because I’m looking in someone else’s face. Nothing about Sam looks like Gadreel anymore.  
“About it all“, Sam continues. His voice is almost breaking. “I understand that you don’t want to think about it, but--“  
He stops talking when I walk over and hug him. It’s almost like he’s falling into it, even though I’m much shorter than he is. He puts his chin on my head.  
“It wasn’t your fault“, I say. My voice is quiet from not talking the last days, but I know Sam heard me.  
We stand there for what’s probably just a few seconds, but it feels like it’s longer. Then, we let go. Sam looks down at me, and he sounds like it’s crushing him when he talks.  
“We will find another way.“  
Then, he leaves the room.  
And finally, I can cry.

When I get back to the library, with, as it feels, red eyes, nobody is there, neither Sam nor Castiel. Empty jars, boxes, and a big metal bowl are still standing on the table. Well, the spell didn’t work, so I guess I can put them away now. I pack it all together so that I’ll be able to carry it easier when a certain corner of the library catches my eye. Books are lying in front of their shelf. I go over to pick them up and put them back when I realize why they are there. This is where Gadreel flung me against the wall. I look down. I’m standing exactly where Kevin was lying. I jump away and almost crash into the bookshelf again. Nothing indicates something ever happened there. Slowly, I pick up the books that are lying on the floor, looking at them instead of the ground. They are about different kinds of stuff. I put them back into the shelf when a certain one, the last one I was just about to put back, catches my eye. It’s called “How prophets differ from other humans“. What a coincidence. I look at the book in my hands, then, carefully, as if it could bite me, I look at the floor again.  
Kevin was a prophet. Only one can be active at a time. I wonder who’s next because apart from me, there are five more prophets in this generation, a little boy, that old dude, the pretty lady, the guy that looked like he was from Norway or something and the Italian guy. Maybe it’s the old guy. I’m just wondering about who could be the next prophet.   
As I was thinking, I just now notice that my nose is really itchy. When I scratch it, there’s something at my finger. I look down at my left hand, as the right one is still holding the book. It’s blood. I guess I stayed up for too long again, wouldn’t be the first time I get a nosebleed because of that. I’m just about to put the book away when I can hear thunder rumbling outside. That’s weird, I didn’t hear any rain. But, whatever, I mean, the bunker is mostly underground, that’s the point. The thunder was really loud, though. Wait, was that another thunder? Sounds like there’s a storm going on directly above the bunker. I used to be scared of thunderstorms, but apparently, I’m fine now. I take out my cellphone to look at the weather forecast. Funny, it says that the sun is shining right now. Can’t always count on the internet, I guess. I put the phone back into my pocket. Then, I hear thunder again, and see the lightning following immediately. I stop mid-motion. This part of the bunker is underground. I shouldn’t be able to see any lightning. Slowly, I look up, just in time to see the lightning go straight through the library’s ceiling without leaving a single crack. Then, it strikes me.  
It hurts. It hurts more than getting your finger cut off and strangled together. I scream in pain as I get lifted off the ground, about five feet. It feels like lightning is shooting through my veins. I barely notice at the edge of my field of vision that Sam and Castiel rush into the room. I try to say something, but I’m still screaming. Castiel lifts his hand, and it feels like it’s getting less for a second, then, as if yanking back, I shoot up even higher. Castiel and Sam fly backward and slam against the walls, pinned there, not being able to move at all. Slowly, the lightning changes. At first, it was golden, but now, it looks more silvery, then a little red, until it gets darker, almost black. The lights flicker and then go out as, suddenly, it all stops. The pain is gone, and it leaves nothing but emptiness. I fall to the ground, looking at the ceiling. It feels like I won’t be able to move ever again.   
Then, Sam and Cas appear above me. They are blurry, and I can feel my consciousness fading away as they shout my name.

“So, what now?“  
Sam’s voice sounds like he’s far away, coming closer slowly.  
“I don’t know if anyone ever did what Metatron did before.“ Castiel’s worried, I can tell.   
Slowly, I open my eyes and blink into the light, that seems very bright at first, but dims with every second. I’m lying in a bed in the ward. Sam and Castiel are sitting next to me. I try to sit up.  
“Hey, hey, hey!“ Sam gently pushes me back down. “Take it easy, okay?“  
I lean against the headpiece of the bed. “What happened?“ My voice is very quiet and sounds weird for some reason.  
“You passed out“, Sam replies.  
“I mean, before that.“  
Castiel and Sam look at each other for a second. That can’t be a good sign.  
“Well…“ Castiel pauses. “You were the next in the line of prophets, which Metatron cut off, so that there would technically be no more prophets. But one can’t just destroy something as powerful.“  
“So… Am I a prophet now?“, I ask. Wait, that can’t be right. “But the lightning was different.“  
“You’re not a prophet“, Sam says.  
“Then what just happened?“  
“To make it simple, Metatron built a wall around every possible prophet“, Cas explains, “So that the power, that lightning, can’t get to them. Somehow, you managed to break that wall in your mind.“  
Did I break a wall in my own head? Wait, there was a wall in my mind?! But how did I break it when I didn’t even know about it?  
I guess I look pretty confused because Sam picks up something from the small table next to my bed and shows it to me. It’s the book that made me think about who’s gonna be the next prophet. “I saw the book on the floor. I guess thinking about prophets was the trigger“, Sam says.  
“What does that mean?“  
Sam and Castiel look at each other again before Cas answers.  
“What Metatron did is unprecedented. Maybe you will be just like any other prophet.“  
“And what if I’m not?“  
Castiel sighs. “I don’t know.“  
“But we’ll figure it out“, Sam adds quickly when he sees my facial expression.  
We sit in silence for some time. I watch Sam and Castiel. Cas looks worried, but Sam’s even worse. I guess seeing me get struck by lightning and passing out made him think I could’ve died, and given what happened lately, I think he couldn’t handle that. But I know he’s right.  
We can handle this.  
We can figure this out.  
Together.


	15. 9x14 - The last Goodbye

Dancing Queen by Abba sure is a beautiful piece, and this is the last month I can listen to it, respectfully. For sure, Dean wouldn’t approve my taste of music, like I care.   
I’m leaning against the headpiece of my bed in the bunker, with my headphones on, playing with the ring on my finger with my eyes closed, even though I’m not sleeping. I haven’t slept much lately, and I don’t actually want to. I’m having nightmares all the time, not necessarily about what happened, they’re mostly random and don’t make sense as soon as I wake up.  
I still don’t like them.  
At least there’s some good news. Dean is back to the bunker, even though he didn’t find Gadreel yet. However, that’s the only good about that news, because Dean had something going on ever since. He didn’t exactly tell me about it, but I heard him mention something called The Mark of Cain. I only know Cain from the bible, one of God’s sons that killed his brother, Abel, and was declared evil for that, he even got cursed. I looked it up and found that The Mark of Cain was part of that curse, and it made Cain unstable and excluded. I haven’t noticed Dean being unstable, but I guess I haven’t been around him enough to be able to tell.   
I rub my arms a little. There’s some more half-good half-bad stuff going on, as we still have no idea what happened to me when lightning struck me. But, and that’s the good part, nothing bad happened. To be more precise, nothing happened at all. Maybe that was all, and it’s done, and nothing will happen anymore.   
I rub my arms a little more as I open my eyes. Is it just me, or is it a little cold in here? Just when I think that, the lights on my nightstands start flickering. Slowly, I sit up. The lights never flickered, except for the lightning-incident. Then, the slow and harmonic refrain of the song I’m listening to is replaced by a static, as if I was sitting in front of a broken TV. I take my headphones off and put them aside, standing up. Temperature dropping, electromagnetic interferences – These are all signs for a ghost. I never saw a ghost. Hell, I don’t even know how to actually fight one. What if this one is dangerous?!   
Despite it being late and everyone being in bed, I call out for help. “Sam, Dean!“  
The lights flicker even more, then they completely turn off. It’s silly and childish, I know, but what I instinctively do is starting to run. I skip down the corridor, through the library and then into the Map room. There, I sit on the table and wait, heavily breathing. I can hear Sam and Dean calling out for me, just as the lights on the tables in the library flicker. I hold my breath instead of answering. Again, stupid, but I don’t think about it.  
I can see a figure coming around the corner. I jump up, but it’s just Sam. He gestures me to be quiet and takes a sword from one of the shelves in the library. I just hope that it’s made out of iron. I go stand behind Sam as he holds the sword with both hands, ready to swing at any ghost. Weirdly enough, the lights of the map table, which I can barely see because Sam’s kind of blocking my sight, stop flickering. Sam waits for a few seconds, then he turns around to me. He looks like he’s about to say something, but then, his expression shows shock. He’s looking at something directly behind me. I slowly turn around.   
A silhouette is standing in front of me. It’s completely grey, and it kind of looks like high concentrated dust in the air. I can’t make out a body, let alone a face, but it still looks like a person. And it’s coming towards me. I don’t know what to do, and Sam seems shocked, as he doesn’t do anything. Then, a loud bang echoes through the bunker and rings in my ears. Instinctively, I shield my face with my arms.   
When I put them back down, the silhouette is gone. I look around and see Dean with a shotgun, standing in one of the doorways. I can hear Sam scoffing behind me.  
“So“, he says.  
Dean nods. “Yep. Bunker’s haunted.“

After we changed into proper clothes, I help Sam building salt-bullets in the kitchen by preparing some breakfast. So a ghost in the bunker. After what I’ve been reading about ghosts, they’re mostly mean when they appear. Also, a ghost has to be bound to something in order to haunt a place, for example, the remains of its former body which is then a corpse. As far as I know, there are no corpses in the bunker. But, well, you never know with the Men of Letters.  
Sam and I look up when Dean enters the room.  
“How is this possible?“, he asks Sam, “Thought you said the bunker was the safest place on earth?“  
I press the buttons on the coffee machine as Sam answers. “Look, I know nothing got in. I mean, the bunker is warded by Sigils and spells from top to bottom, there’s no way something came in from the outside.“  
“So whoever’s haunting us died here?“, I ask. Dean nods.  
“What, a dead Man of Letters?“, Sam asks.  
Dean shakes his head. “We’re the first people living here in fifty years, why would a ghost wait so long to get it’s spook on?“  
“Must have been a more recent death.“ Sam avoids looking at Dean. Oh no. He’s not talking about…?  
“No“, Dean says as the coffee machine makes it’s beeping noise. I put the pot in it and the coffee starts pouring into it.  
“How can you be so sure?“, Sam asks now. We all know who he’s talking about, even though nobody said the name.  
“Because Mila and I burned the body ourselves“, Dean says loudly, “It’s not him.“  
“So you cremated him“, Sam replies and stands up, “We cremated Bobby, too, and he came back.“  
I don’t know how to feel about this. I’d love to see him again, but I don’t want him to be a ghost, I want him to be alive again, truly alive.   
“Sam, I’m telling you.“ Dean sounds annoyed. “This ghost? It’s not Kevin.“  
Suddenly, the coffee machine makes a weird noise. It’s sounds like a ringing bell, like the sound you get in a Gameshow when you get the answer right. This has to be the ghost. The three of us stare at the coffee machine.  
“Kevin?“, I ask carefully, just to make sure.  
One of the cups next to the coffee machine splinters. I flinch. I think that was a Yes.

I’ve been sitting in front of the coffee machines for hours now, which is standing next to the EMF-meter Sam gave me, when the brothers enter the kitchen again.  
“Anything?“, Dean asks.  
“It dinged two times“, I answer, “A little EMF, but not very much.“  
“So he’s back in the Veil“, Dean says.   
I don’t understand what he means by that, even though Sam apparently does.  
“Fumbling to break through“, he says, “It took Bobby months to make contact.“  
“And Kevin’s only--“ Dean interrupts himself when he looks at me. Come on, say it. Say he’s been dead for months. “He’s new at this“, he rephrases what he wanted to say. “Alright then, I’m up.“  
He shoos Sam and me out of the kitchen. I don’t protest, even though I don’t want to miss anything.  
We have just reached the library when the lights flicker again, just for a few seconds this time. Sam and I look at each other, then we rush back to the kitchen. Dean is sitting on the table next to the coffee machine. He looks indifferent.  
“Hey, did you see that?“, Sam tells Dean agitated, “The lights were--“  
I stop listening when I see a flicker in the air. It looks as if you had been looking into the sun and then stared at a dark surface. Then, it turns into a figure, flickering. I elbow Sam so that he looks at it, too.  
“This is not happening“, a voice echoes through the room. I flinch at the sound. “I did not spend months struggling to break through the Veil, just to get stuck with Dean Winchester having a self-pity session. I heard enough of those when I was alive.“  
I slowly step closer to the figure. “Kevin?“  
The silhouette stops flickering.  
“You can see me?“  
It’s Kevin. It’s really him. In the clothes he died in, but with his eyes as if they were never gone. He’s a ghost. Tears start blurring my sight. Kevin starts flickering a little as if someone layered bad special effects over him.  
“Take it easy“, Sam says, “You might not be able to hold this one for too long, it takes a while…“  
“Then we should talk fast“, Kevin says. Is that just my feeling, or is he avoiding looking at me…?  
“Why aren’t you in Heaven?“, Dean asks, “I mean if anybody deserves an express ticket to paradise--“  
“I couldn’t. I can’t, no one can, Heaven is closed for business.“ Kevin starts flickering again. “Everyone who died since the angels fell? We’re just stuck inside the Veil, waiting.“  
“But what does that do to you?“, Dean asks. Kevin looks exhausted. Wait, do ghosts get exhausted?  
“It’s bad“, Kevin replies, “In here, it’s DMV-line-times-infinity bad.“  
That sounds really, really bad.  
“What can we do?“, Sam asks.  
“I need a favor. Big one. Find my mother.“  
But I thought Linda was dead! Did Kevin find out anything new?  
“Crowley only told you she was alive to mess with you“, Dean says.  
“I’m not going off his word, I have my own sources“, Kevin says confidently, “We’re tight in the Veil. All of us are stuck near the sites of our deaths. But I’ve been able to cast messages, spirit-to-spirit, and I made contact with a new arrival. She says she saw my mom just a week ago, alive.“  
So Linda is alive!  
“This spirit that you‘re playing ghost telephone with“, Dean says, and he doesn’t sound convinced, “I mean, what do you even know about her?“  
“Her name is Candy.“  
Candy. Seriously?  
“She says she’s in a forest in Wichita. Long-distance communication within the Veil, it’s not ideal. That’s why I need you to go there. Summon her, see what else she knows. You want to make it right? This is how.“  
With that, he finally vanishes. I stare at the place where he was standing, trying to process what just happened, while Dean and Sam talk until Dean puts his hand on my shoulder.  
“Sam and I go to talk to that girl. You keep it up here, okay?“  
I look at him unbelievingly. He can’t be serious. “Of course not! I’m coming with you!“  
Sam and Dean look at each other. They look unconvinced, like they’re trying to tell each other who has to tell me No first.  
“Look, Mila--“, Sam starts, but I interrupt him.  
“I’m not discussing this. This is about Linda and about Kevin’s last wish, there’s nothing you can say to change my mind.“  
I think I made myself clear, as Dean and Sam look at each other again. Then, Dean sighs.  
“Fine then, get your stuff. We’re leaving in five minutes.“

“This is it“, Sam says.  
“Dude, what got her? A bear?“ Deans voice is mocking.  
We’re in a forest in Wichita. It took us about three hours to get here. Through the trees, up high, I can see a bridge leading over a small river.  
“I’m still stuck with the fact that we’re trying to summon a ghost named Candy“, Sam says while we unzip our bags, “Just because Kevin said he heard his mom is alive, doesn’t mean she, well…“  
“We owe it, right?“, I say, “At least I do.“  
Dean takes some stuff out of his bag and starts setting it up. He got a radio, a walkie-talkie and… the coffee machine.  
He brought the bloody coffee machine into the woods.  
“She’s only been dead a week, I figured she should get as much help as possible!“, Dean defends himself when he sees Sam’s and my facial expressions.

We lit some candles. It’s night. We’ve been sitting here for hours, but nothing happened. Sam shrieks a little. Dean and I look up.  
“I think I felt a chill“, Sam says.  
“That’s because it’s cold“, Dean replies annoyed and takes out his phone, leaving a voicemail to someone when they don’t pick up. “Crowley, it’s Dean. Call me when you get this.“  
He’s still cooperating with Crowley, and this is not the first time he tried to call him.   
“That’s your third unanswered voicemail“, Sam says. He sounds very annoyed. “You ever think, maybe he’s just not that into you?“  
“He’s our last confirmed link to Miss Tran“, Dean replies, “He may be a flaming douche, but at least we know he’s real, which is more than we can say about this Candy no-show.“ Do they seriously have to argue right now?  
Dean tries to take a sip of his energy drink, but it’s empty. He’s about to throw the can away, but I take it away from him and put it in my bag. We may be cold, annoyed and frustrated, but we ain’t littering the forest for that.  
Suddenly, static starts playing on the radio. We stand up and walk towards it. Finally.  
“Candy?“, I say carefully, “Is that you?“  
“Hello?“ It’s a girl’s voice, maybe in her mid-twenties, but it gets overlaid by static right away. Dean starts switching channels until we find her again. “In the box. They put me in the box.“ She sounds like she’s crying. “All of us in boxes, side-by-side, me, Jerome, Linda.“  
Linda. So she actually is alive!  
“Linda’s…?“ Of course, Dean doesn’t know. I nod.  
“Where were these boxes?“, Sam asks.  
“I don’t know“, Candy says. “It was cold. Dark. There was a vent, we could talk to one another.“  
“What did the walls look like?“, I ask. Maybe we can figure out where the boxes are that way.  
“Bare cement.“ Candy sounds like she has to recall everything, piece by piece. “Except for the door, that was metal. But, like… ridged?“  
Ridged?   
“You mean like corrugated?“, Dean proposes.  
“Yeah! I tried to lift it, but I couldn’t, it was locked from the outside.“  
“A storage unit?“, Dean asks us.  
Sam shrugs. “Maybe.“  
Sounds logical. “Who was holding you there?“, I ask.  
“Two men. It was so dark in the box, when they came, I could barely see.“ Candy sounds very unsure. “The first guy was British, I think. Kind of short, loved hearing himself talk.“  
“Crowley“, Sam mumbles. Of course.  
“He said I was worth more alive than dead.“ Now it sounds like she’s crying again. “But he stopped coming. Then it was just the other guy. We thought, with just him…“ She pauses. “We tried to escape. I ran so hard, so far, but--“  
The rest is overlaid by static. Oh no. Poor girl. I kinda wanna give her a hug.  
“What about Miss Tran?“, Sam asks, “Candy?“  
“I don’t know“, Candy replies quietly, “Maybe she survived.“  
“Maybe?! That’s not what you told her son“, Dean says.  
“I said she was alive. I don’t know what happened after. For her sake, I hope she’s dead.“  
With that, Candy is gone completely, and static takes over the channel.

“There are three storage facilities nearby“, I inform Sam and Dean from my place in the backseat of the Impala and zoom in on the map on my phone, “The closest one is about one mile from here.“  
“And I got something on Candy“, Sam says, who was looking at his phone, too, “Turns out she was the kept-woman of a powerful congressman. Gossip says he worshipped the ground she walked on, literally. He had a foot fetish.“  
Ew. Well, I won’t judge.  
“So Crowley was holding the beloved tootsies of a powerful politician?“, Dean asks.  
“And the beloved mother of a powerful prophet. Two, respectfully“, Sam says. Naw, that’s nice of him.  
“Human leverage.“ Dean nods. “But why would he kill Candy?“  
“You heard her, she tried to make a break for it.“ Sam sounds pragmatic. “Maybe Crowley wanted to make an example.“  
“No, not Crowley“, Dean corrects his brother, “The guy he left in charge. Crowley wanted them alive.“  
“So what, you wanna give him a medal?“, Sam asks, “Crowley was the one who put them in the cells in the first place.“  
“I’m just talking it out. Working the case, business-like.“  
Oh my God. The stupid argument is starting again. Sam and Dean, as far as I know, only work together because Sam asked Dean to come back for business. No relations, no hard feelings, just the business, so the things you’d probably tell yourself when you’re in love with a prostitute.  
Stupid.

“Let me guess, 5‘5“, pasty-white, black-rimmed hipster glasses just like the last place“, Dean predicts as we enter the reception of the second storage facility, as the first one wasn’t the right one. And, actually, a short pale male appears behind the counter. Not to be rude or anything, but he looks like that one person that stays awake ‘till 3 am to write Star Wars conspirancy theories. Not that I would ever do that.  
“Can I help you?“, Geek asks.  
Dean and Sam, both in suits, show their fake FBI badges. I don’t have any fake badges with my face on it, and I seriously don’t want any. I just put on my “smart clothes“, and now I pretend to be a doctor.  
“Hi, Agent Nicks and McVie and this is Doctor Green, we need to take a look at your rental records“, Dean says while he and Sam put their badges away again and I just kind of wave awkwardly.  
“My manager’s not here“, Geek says. He sounds very surprised and looks shocked. Right, he thinks we’re with the FBI. “I really don’t think I should--“  
“The records, pal“, Dean interrupts him. The last time I heard him call someone that was when we were trying to find the demon tablet before the auction, it was directed at the owner of the thrift shop who illegally acquired a car in a trade, and it was because he called me mail-order.  
“Barry, bring out the rental binder!“, the man shouts to the back. I take a look at his nametag. His name is Del. I hope that’s short for something else than Delaware.   
A second guy, Barry, apparently, enters the room with a big folder. He is about 5‘5“, pale and wears black-rimmed glasses. What the hell.  
“Here you go“, he says and hands Dean the folder before he leaves again.   
Meanwhile, Sam turned around and looks at the floorplan hanging from the wall. All the compartments are listed there. I look over it, then I spot something. I point at a corridor with three separated compartments. Sam quietly tells Dean to come over to show it to him.  
“Corridor Q“, he tells his brother, “Three adjacent units separated from the others. Candy said there were three hostages, right?“  
Dean looks through the folder. “They are all leased by the same guy, D. Webster.“  
“D. Webster?“, I ask confused. “Like Daniel Webster, that one Secretary of State that died in 1852?“  
Dean shrugs, whereas Sam looks kind of impressed. What, that’s what they teach you in highschool instead of how to do taxes.  
“I know a lame Crowley in-joke when I see it“, Dean says.  
“Did you say D. Webster?“, Del asks behind us. We turn around.  
“Why, you seen him?“, Dean asks.  
“No, I just know his name from the records“, Del says, “He’s leasing another unit on the other side of the facility. I could show you.“  
Dean smiles. “That’d be great.“ Del turns around and starts walking. Before Dean follows him, he turns to Sam and me. “Alright, you take Corridor Q. I’ll go with Del, the Funky Homo Sapien.“  
I chuckle as Dean leaves. Sam takes the rental record page out of the folder.  
“Let’s go“, he says.

When we reach Corridor Q, it’s completely silent. Sam stops in front of one unit. I can feel the speed of my heartbeat increasing as Sam starts to pick the lock for the gate. It opens up almost immediately. Well, it’s a cheap storage room, can’t expect much security, I guess.  
The light of the hallway falls into the storage room. It’s empty. Except for…  
“Linda!“ I rush over to her. She crouches away from my touch. She’s bruised, and she looks very tired, she‘s chained and there’s some fabric in her mouth. “It’s Mila, it’s me, Linda, it’s me!“  
I pull the gag away from her mouth. She looks at me unbelievingly. “Mila?“  
“Oh my gosh“, Sam says behind me when he spots Linda. She really is in horrible shape, but I can fix it.   
“We need to get out of here before he comes back“, Linda says pleadingly while I take a look at her handcuffs. “Is Kevin with you?“  
Before I can think of anything to say, the gate behind us falls down by itself. Sam rushes over and tries to lift it, but it doesn’t work. It’s locked from the outside. I look around and spot the security camera the second Sam sees it, too. Looks like the other demon came around to pay a visit. Sam comes over to Linda and me, hands me a flashlight and starts picking the locks of her handcuffs. I could try that, too, but I don’t have anything with me that I could do it with. After some time, the handcuffs finally fall to the ground. Linda rubs her wrists. There are red lines on them, just where the cuffs were.  
“There’s an electrical line, it leads to the control panel“, she says.   
I turn around and the light falls on a small control pad on the wall next to the door. Sam and I walk over, and Sam breaks it open. Inside, there are some wires, nothing special. I recall this from highschool’s Engineering Club.  
“This might take a while“, Sam says and takes a pocket knife out of his jacket. I take it from him.  
“We have to unplug the grounding wire first“, Linda says behind me.  
I nod. “If this is standard U.S. color coding, it should be the green one.“ I start getting the green wire out.  
“Okay“, Sam says impressed.  
“Helping Kevin and Mila with their Engineering Club assignments, you pick up a thing or two“, Linda explains to him how she knew, too. Ah yes, good times. “I’m sure he insisted, but I trust you weren’t foolish to bring Kevin along on this mission, I’m already disappointed in you because you let Mila go. You left him some place safe.“  
“Of course“, Sam says a beat too late. Liar, but he’s right, now is not really the time.  
“Good“, Linda says, “Then all that’s left to do is to get this door open, get the hell out of here, and you will take me to my son.“  
I try to concentrate on finding the green wire. Sam puts his hand on Linda’s shoulder.  
“Listen, Miss Tran…“  
Linda takes a deep breath. “You will take me to my son.“  
She doesn’t want to know, even though she does know. If I hadn’t been through the same, I wouldn’t understand that.  
Finally, the green wire is pulled out enough so that I can cut it. The gate lifts partly. Sam rushes over.  
“I’ll go find Dean“, he says, “Do you remember the unit?“  
I nod. Sam leaves and I help Linda crouching under the half-opened gate. She doesn’t say a word, the whole way of following Sam, who is much faster.  
When we get close enough to see the unit, the gate is open, and I can hear somebody talking. Sounds like Del. Looks like he was a demon all along. He’s still a weirdo.  
“Do it“, he says, “Kill me!“  
“We’re saving you for someone else.“ That’s Sam.  
“Crowley?“, Del asks.  
“Much worse.“  
We finally come around the corner and enter the small room. Del is sitting on the floor, in demon handcuffs. Sam hands Linda the knife he’s always using to kill demons.  
“Do the honors, Miss Tran“, Dean says.  
“With pleasure.“   
Linda starts walking towards Del, who starts talking. He babbles about how he was just following orders, but she stabs him mid-sentence. His skull lights up orange then it fades as he falls to the ground. I may have seen angels, demons, gods and my best friend getting murdered, but it’s still messed up. Linda hands Dean the bloody knife.  
“Take me to my son.“

“Hey, Solo“, I shout when Sam, Dean and I are back in the bunker and put our bags down on the Map table, “You here?“  
“And?“, a voice asks behind us. We turn around to see Kevin.  
“We got her, she’s alive“, Sam says.  
“We wanted to give you a moment, to, you know, process“, Dean says.  
“No“, Kevin says. He’s about to cry, I can tell, even though he’s holding it back. “Does she know?“  
“Kevin?“, Linda asks. She just walked down the stairs of the bunker. Kevin turns around.  
“Hi, Mom.“  
Sam, Dean and I, as hard as it is, leave the library so that Kevin can tell her himself.  
“Hey, kid, where’s Kevin’s stuff?“, Dean asks me.  
“His bedroom“, I say. Yes, I left his bedroom exactly the way it was.   
“Let’s get it. Miss Tran should take her son home“, Sam says.

When we get back to the library with all the stuff that belonged to Kevin to find what bound him to this place, Kevin’s ghost is gone, but Linda looks like she took it rather well.  
We look through all of it. All the notes Kevin made, even though that can’t be it.   
“I can’t imagine any of this being that important to him“, Linda says after we looked at everything a second time.  
I think again. We have everything here, his pencils, the full notebooks, the wooden box with the photos- Wait a minute. There was something else in that box, and I still have it.  
Carefully, I pull Kevin’s father’s ring off my finger that I’ve been wearing for the past months. Linda takes it.  
“This. This is it.“  
“It’s his father‘s“, I explain quietly because Dean looks a little confused.  
“He died when Kevin was a baby“, Linda says and turns the ring in her hands. “It’s the only piece of his father Kevin had left. If he’s bound to some object here, it’s this.“  
“Miss Tran“, Dean says after a short pause, “There are risks of taking Kevin home with you. The longer that spirits are in the Veil, they have a way of… Well, it doesn’t end up well.“  
Didn’t the brothers mention a ghost named Bobby? I guess Dean is talking from experience.  
“He’s my son.“ Linda is crying. “It’s my job to keep him safe for as long as possible.“ She turns to me. “You can come with us.“  
Is she serious?! I don’t reply and look at Dean. He shrugs. My decision.   
I always wanted to get back to my old life. But now, I’m kind of a prophet, we don’t know what that means, and maybe there are still people after me. And now I should go live with Kevin’s ghost? I make a decision before I can think too hard.  
And shake my head. “I still have things to do here.“  
Linda nods and smiles through her tears. Then, she hugs me.   
“Do you want to take these with you?“, Dean asks and points at Kevin’s possessions.  
Linda nods again and takes Kevin’s bag and the notes.  
Then, Sam enters the library, just when Kevin appears, too.  
“I won’t let her out of sight“, Kevin says, “She’s my responsibility.“  
“And you were ours.“ Sam leans against the table. “We failed you, I--“  
“Sam, I know that wasn’t you“, Kevin says urgently. “Go put a blade in the asshat that possessed you, and we’ll call it square. Thank you.“  
“You can thank us when we get you to Heaven, where you belong“, Dean replies, “Until then, enjoy the time with your mom.“  
Kevin nods and walks towards the staircase, where Linda is waiting, but he turns around again after a few steps. Then, finally, he looks at me. “Before I go, will you promise me something?“  
I nod. “Anything.“  
Kevin pauses for a second. “Can you… Get over it?“ I didn’t expect that. “Just because you couldn’t see me doesn’t mean I couldn’t see you. Not sleeping, crying- that’s not worth it.“ He looks at Sam and Dean, too. “And you? The drama, the fighting? It’s stupid. Mom’s taking me home with her. But you two are still here.“  
“Promise“, Dean says, and Sam nods.  
“Okay“, I say. Time for one last stupid joke. “Enjoy your 24/7, uninterrupted quality time, Solo.“  
Kevin chuckles. “Idiot.“  
With that, he walks up the stairs and leaves the bunker with Linda. Sam walks away without a word, and Dean follows him. I stand there for a few more seconds. There’s nothing left of Kevin now. I try to imagine what that means, and what will happen next, now that I, once again, chose to stay. When I can’t think of a possible answer, I go to my bedroom. I can hear Sam’s door shutting, then Dean’s, then I close mine, too. I sit down on the bed and put on my headphones. Dancing Queen starts playing where it stopped because of the static.   
“Leave ‘em burning and then you’re gone…“   
I put on the next song as I long for the ring, just to realize it’s not there anymore. It may have been the last piece of his father Kevin had left, but it was also the last piece of him that I had left. I can feel the tears on my face before I even realize that I’m crying.

The next song on is the Pachelbel Canon.


	16. 9x19 - My first hunt (SPOILER: I screw up)

I’ve been reading about every monster possible in the last weeks, I’ve studied them, and I still do, I’m working on memorizing their weaknesses and abilities. There are so many monsters out there, more than just the celestial ones. I read about literal nightmares, vampires, ghouls, werewolves, stuff that I thought could never be real. But I needed a break from studying, that’s why I came down here, the shooting range of the bunker. I bugged Sam until he showed me the basics of using a gun between the cases he was working on, and since then, I practice every now and then, just as I do with hand-combat, even though it’s weird to do that all alone.  
I lift the loaded gun and aim at the human-shaped target. Breathe in, shoot, breathe out, gun down, that’s what Sam told me. I breathe in, then I pull the trigger and flinch at the sound, immediately annoyed by myself. I just can’t get myself to stop being startled by the loud sound, but that’s why I fail every shot. I look at the target to see the red splash of paint. Yes, I’m only allowed to shoot with paint bullets. Sam and Dean told me it was for our own safety, but from the looks they gave each other and me, I think they believe I would do something stupid to myself. Not that I actually would. I stick to my promises.  
Just as I expected, the paint isn’t even close to the human shape, let alone the dots at the head and chest that you’re supposed to hit.   
Nothing’s going right lately, not only with shooting. Sam and Dean aren’t telling me everything, like, at all, but I was able to kinda piece together what’s going on.  
Dean is acting stranger every day. This is about the Mark of Cain, I saw him touching or looking at the red Mark at his arm all the time when he thinks nobody is watching, even though I haven’t seen him that much. Sam and Dean are trying to find Gadreel, and they even captured him, but, unfortunately, he escaped before they could do anything grave to him. The brothers are mainly looking for Abaddon now, and Castiel is gathering angels to recapture Heaven from Metatron. Oh, that’s some more news: Abaddon may be the demon douche, but Metatron definitely is the Heaven douche. When I met him that one time, he seemed like a coward. I was right, though. Metatron was the one to tell Gadreel to kill Kevin. I wish I could just put a bullet in his head, but, well, even if I could hit the target, it wouldn’t help, because Metatron is pretty much immortal, like most celestials usually are. I touch the key at my necklace.  
Linda sent me something a month ago. My violin, and Kevin’s cello. I guess Kevin doesn’t need it anymore, and I can’t play it, so it’s standing in the corner of my room. The key that I made my necklace with is the key to Kevin’s cello case. It may remind me of everything that happened as soon as I think about it, but I kinda feel like it helps me stay sane.  
My thoughts are interrupted by a cellphone ringing. I put the gun down and reach for the box of cellphones lying on the floor. They’re not mine, I get that, they are the brothers‘ spare ones. But when they go on a hunt, they sometimes do that without telling me (even though I asked them to, but I guess they have to be fast sometimes), and then it’s up to me to pick up calls from hunters and maybe help them. Also, Sam and Dean sometimes use their own phones to contact me because it’s faster. I don’t want to miss any calls, that’s why I take that box with me.  
I look at the screen of the ringing cellphone. It doesn’t say anything, so the contact isn’t listed. I pick up anyways.  
“Hello?“ It’s a woman’s voice.  
“Hi“, I reply.  
“You’re not a Winchester.“ The woman sounds confused. “Who are you?“  
“The last person that said that to me was a Knight of Hell“, I answer, “So who are you?“  
“Sheriff Jody Mills, I’m a friend of the boys.“ She seems to realize something. “How do you have that phone, what did you do to them?!“  
I chuckle. The thought of me even trying to do anything to Sam or Dean is fairly amusing. I stop chuckling the second I realize how creepy I must sound, though.  
“It’s fine, Sheriff Mills“, I say quickly, “I’m Mila, I’m with Sam and Dean, I just picked up because the cellphone was near me when it rang.“  
“Oh“, Sheriff Mills says, and she sounds a little relieved for a second. “Are the boys around?“  
“I guess“, I say, thinking. I believe Sam and Dean aren’t on a case right now.   
“Can I talk to them? I have a case for them.“  
“Sure“, I answer and skip up the stairs to the library before covering the cellphone’s speakers and shouting. “Sam, Dean!“  
After just a few seconds, both of them enter the room.  
“Something wrong?“, Sam asks the second he steps in. I shake my head.  
“There’s someone called Jody Mills on the phone“, I say and hand him the cellphone, “She says she has a case for you.“  
Sam and Dean look surprised, then, Sam talks to Sheriff Mills on the phone.  
“Hi Jody, how are you? …Oh, really? …Okay… Fine, we’ll drive there now… Okay, see you!“  
He hangs up.  
“And?“, Dean asks.  
“Some vamps“, Sam says.  
“Are we going there?“, I ask.  
“We?“ Dean sounds unbelieving. Seriously?  
“Come on“, I say and don’t even try to hide my disappointed undertone. Ever since Linda and Kevin left the bunker, they haven’t let me out, claiming that it’s ‘too dangerous‘, with Metatron and all. “It’s been, like, a month. I wanna come with you.“  
Sam and Dean look at each other.   
“Have you hit the target by now?“, Sam asks. Of course, I haven’t told the brothers that I keep missing the target because I can’t help but get scared at the noise of a gun going off, and I don’t plan on doing that now.  
“You can’t shoot a vampire“, I say instead of actually answering, “I looked it up.“  
Dean sighs. “Look, girl, we can’t take a kid on a hunt.“  
“I’m not a child anymore, I helped you with almost every case, and I know everything about vampires that the Men of Letters do, and I can punch.“  
That’s not an argument and we all know that, judging from the brothers‘ facial expressions. Looks like I need to stress something a little more.  
“I haven’t left the bunker since we dug up the demon tablet, apart from when we rescued Linda and when we burned Kevin’s body“, I remind them. “And, just for the record, in the meantime, the angels fell, we translated the tablet into Proto-Elamite, Gadreel killed Kevin, Dean got the Mark of Cain and I got struck by lightning.“  
That’s it. I got them, I can see it.   
“Pack your things“, Dean finally says, “We leave in five minutes.“

When we pull up on a police station in light rain and Dean parks the Impala, I can see a smiling woman coming up to us. She has short brown hair and wears a Sheriff-outfit. That’s gotta be Sheriff Jody Mills.  
When I get out of the car and walk up to her, Sam and Dean, who have gotten out before me, are looking at something in a police car’s trunk.  
I look past them and spot a decapitated vampire. Looks like Sheriff Mills was pretty productive already.  
“I don’t know, Sammy“, Dean says, “Looks like Jody doesn’t need our help after all.“  
“They grow up so fast“, Sam jokes.  
“Joke as much you want, there are more of these. My men brought in a runaway last night. There’s no ID on her, nothing on her, actually, except for a bus ticket out of Nebraska. Girl’s got zero manners, basically feral, didn’t even thank me for saving her. This one“, Sheriff Mills points at the dead vamp, “Said there are others that would want her at least as bad as he did, and he went through plenty of trouble to get to her.“  
“Sounds like a nest“, Sam says.  
“That’s not half as cute as it sounds“, I mumble.  
Jody turns around to me, looking startled. I guess she didn’t notice me. “Excuse me, you can’t be here!“  
I chuckle a little. “Hi, Sheriff Mills. We talked on the phone.“  
Sheriff Mills looks unbelieving as she shakes my hand. “You sounded older. How does a child get involved with all of this?“, she asks Sam and Dean.  
Dean puts his hand on my shoulder for a second. “We had some stuff going on, as always.“  
“I’m eighteen“, I say. I guess it doesn’t change much, but, officially, I’m not a child anymore.  
Sam holds me back when Sheriff Mills and Dean walk towards the police station’s entrance. “You didn’t tell us you turned eighteen“, he says.  
I shrug. “Didn‘t come up“, I say before following Dean and Sheriff Mills.

“Wilson, Fisher and Walker?“, the dark-haired girl asks sarcastically after I, as I’m the one posing as a doctor again, checked her for fangs and looks at me, “You three are FBI, I’m Taylor Swift. This wasn’t a dental ID, it was a fang check. You’re hunters.“  
Thank… not Heaven. Thank whatever Good’s out there. At least we won’t have to explain anything to Jane Doe.  
“And you’re alive because hunters trained the sheriff“, Dean says, “I think the first words out of your mouth should be a ‘thank you‘.“ Jane doesn’t reply and looks away. “Who were you to this vamp, anyways? What’s so special about you?“, Dean continues, “Is there a nest?“  
I watch Jane closely. There’s something on her neck… But before I can take a closer look, she notices that I can see it and pulls her collar over it, but I saw enough. Those are feeding marks, I recognize them from a book, and they look reused. So some vamps used her to get some blood but didn’t kill her for it. Just as I think that Sheriff Mills, who was waiting outside, opens the door.  
“Sorry to interrupt“, she says, “We got a match on her DNA.“  
We follow her, leaving the girl alone. Sheriff Mills hands each of us a Missing-person poster with a little girl’s photo.  
“Annie Jones“, Sam reads out loud.  
“She was reported abducted outside of Kenosha in ‘06“, Sheriff Mills says, “Raised by an elderly grandparent, no living kin. You think the vamps are the ones that took her?“  
“Eight years is a long time for a human to live with vampires without getting killed or turned.“ Dean sounds unsure.  
“You’re the experts, but there was something familiar about the way this vamp talked to her.“  
“She has scars on her neck, feeding scars“, I say, “Layered, like built for years.“  
“So a blood slave“, Dean concludes. “We’ve seen it before“, he adds when he sees Sheriff Mills‘ confused expression, “Vampires keeping people as pets, human feedbags, these pets--“, Sam finishes the sentence for him.  
“Stay loyal to their captors.“  
“So this girl’s not talking cause she got a case of …?“, Jody asks.  
“Vampiric Stockholm syndrome“, I propose, and she nods.  
“She’s protecting the nest“, Dean says, “So you feel a debt. They gave you a home, they raised you.“  
Well, that doesn’t always work. I may have stayed with Sam and Dean for good, but, I mean, I don’t give a damn about that one family I was in during foster care.   
We go back inside to talk to Annie, this time, Sheriff Mills comes inside with us.  
“Annie“, Sam starts, “We get it. Loyalty is a very powerful thing.“  
“My name is Alex“, she replies.   
“No, it’s not, your name is Annie Jones“, Sam says, “Those vampires stole you.“  
“They’re monsters, Annie“, Dean says.  
“Alex“, she hisses.  
“And they didn’t love you“, Dean continues, “They loved your blood, they fed on you.“  
“I fed them, my choice“, Annie stresses, “My brothers, they brought me food when I was hungry, so when they struck out on a hunt, I fed them. They’re my family.“  
Huh. I wish I was an actual FBI agent, then I’d know exactly what to say. Instead, I just guess.  
“Okay, you care about them“, I say, “But, Alex“, I use the name she likes better, “There has to be a reason you ran away.“  
Annie shrugs. “It was time to move on and get out on my own.“  
“And how do you think that decision is gonna sit with the rest of the nest?“, Dean asks, “One of them already pursued you. You think when the rest of them find out that you left they’re just gonna shrug and cut their losses?“  
“You lived with them for years. They’ve tasted your blood“, Sam says, “They have your scent down cold. I mean, how far can you run and for how long?“  
Ah yes, I read about that. Vampires have an incredible sense of smell.  
A tear rolls down Annie’s cheek, but she doesn’t reply.  
“You didn’t think this out, did you?“, Dean asks, “What would happen, who might get hurt, your ‘brother‘, for one.“  
Alex- Imma go with Alex- looks up. “His name is Cody.“ She turns around to face Sheriff Mills. “And she killed him.“  
“Because of a choice you made“, Dean says and shrugs, “These are the consequences.“  
“You got two options“, Sam offers, “Them or you. And we can help you, we can keep you safe. But you have to help us.“  
“Where’s the nest?“, Dean asks again.  
“I can’t.“ Alex bites her lip. “After what happened, Mama finds me, she’ll kill me.“  
Mama’s probably the nest’s chief. I guess Alex doesn’t have a choice.

Dean went to get himself a coffee, and Sheriff Mills showed Sam and me where to find a computer in the police station so that we can search for nest-hide possibilities from where Alex came from. When Dean comes back and I look up, I notice that Sheriff Mills looks kind of concerned.  
“What is it, Sheriff?“, I ask her.  
“No wonder she didn’t thank me.“ Sheriff Mills looks at her fingers in order to avoid looking at us. “That creep was her brother.“ She notices the way Dean looks at her after she said that. “I’m fine. I’m just-- hung up on the name. Alex and Annie, they’re so close already. Why change it?“  
“It was probably that Mama Alex talked about“, I think out loud, “I mean, who else would, if not the nest’s chief?“  
“Okay, we know from her ticket that Alex hopped on a bus out of O’Neill, Nebraska, right?“, Sam asks and looks up from the computer screen, “It’d be better to go in with a firm location, but the town ain’t so big. There are no caves, no natural hiding places.“  
“Alright“, Dean says, “So go in, canvass it cold.“  
“We worked together a short list of possible nest locations“, Sam explains, “An empty fire station, four or five derelict homes.“  
“Nothing we couldn’t hit in a day“, I add.  
“Okay“, Dean says.  
We all get up- Well, Sam and I do, as Dean and Sheriff Mills were already standing.  
“You sure you’re alright to babysit by yourself?“, Sam asks Sheriff Mills.  
“Oh, well“, she answers, “Girl’s a flight risk, not exactly friendly, but I think I can handle babysitting detail.“  
“The station’s been made“, Sam says, “It may be worth heading upwind for a while. I mean, vamps are trackers.“  
“Terrific. Well, I’ve got an old family cabin outside of town…“, Mills proposes.  
“That’ll work“, Dean replies.  
“Okay. Shouldn‘t raise too many eyebrows, me being gone for a day“, Mills says and looks around the busy police station.  
“Maybe, but you sure you don’t want backup?“, Dean asks. I notice he’s looking at me. Does he seriously want to leave me here?!  
“You want me to enlist my men in protection detail against vampires?“, Mills asks. Looks like she didn’t see that Dean looked at me. “Frank’s still in the dark about what hit him last night.“ She looks at a police officer with a bruise right in his face. I guess that was Cody. “He still has nightmares about the barn episode of Walking Dead.“ Hey, I watched that one! I didn’t watch the show, though, so I didn’t really get the plot. “They’re good cops“, Mills clarifies, “But they’re not ready for this.“  
“Jody“, Sam says, “In your late-night reading sessions, did you ever come across anything about Dead Man’s blood? It takes a vamp down like a horse tranq.“  
Mills crosses her arms. “I would not say no to some of that. I mean, not that I’ll need it, you guys are gonna get the jump on these vamps and be back here before they even realize their kin’s missing, right?“  
Dean nods, then he and Sam turn around to leave.  
“See you“, I say and turn around to follow them, but Mills holds me back with a concerned look on her face.  
“How long have you been a hunter?“, she asks. Uh…  
I shrug. “Define being a hunter.“  
Mills scoffs. “You’re barely an adult. How did you get into this? Did the boys pull you into it?“  
I shake my head. “That’s not really… no.“  
Mills looks at me for another second, then she pats my shoulder. “Be safe, kid.“  
I chuckle. “Later, Sheriff.“  
With that, I actually turn around and quickly follow Dean and Sam.

We walk up to the fourth old and empty house this night, each armed with a flashlight. Well, we’re actually armed, Dean gave me a machete. I haven’t really practiced using one, but I guess it can’t be too hard.  
The door creaks as Sam opens it. We carefully step inside the house. I look around a little. There are mattresses with sleeping bags on the floor. Someone’s been staying here.  
“This place is in forecloser, is it?“, Dean asks.  
“Yep, just like the rest of them“, Sam replies.  
“Well, someone’s been squatting here“, Dean states.  
“Blackout windows“, I point out.  
Suddenly, there’s the sound of a wood chipper grinding. We walk out the backdoor. There’s a man stuffing something into a wood chipper. It looks kind of bloody. Ew, there gotta be less nasty ways of getting rid of a corpse. Dean nudges me.  
“Distract him“, he whispers so that the man can’t hear us, “Sam and I knock him out from behind.“  
I nod and take a deep breath. Funny, I’m not really nervous, this is less scary than gunshots. I walk up to the man, but keep my distance, while Sam and Dean sneak around the wood chipper machine. The man notices neither of us.  
“Hey“, I say loudly. He stands up straight. “You need a hand with that?“ Just when I say that, I can see a bloody arm getting sucked into the wood chipper. It’s disgusting, and I’m sorry for whoever’s arm that is, yet, I chuckle. “Apparently not.“  
The man turns around and takes a step towards me. Just when I notice his pointy teeth, Sam strikes him with a shovel from behind and he falls to the ground. Dean and Sam pick up the vampire and carry him back inside the house. I follow them. They tie the vamp to a wooden pillar and Sam takes everything out of the vamps pockets, some wallets, and stuff. It only takes him a few more seconds to wake up. Instead of asking questions, he rather uses his breath to hiss at us. I lean against the doorframe, whereas Sam sits on the kitchen table and Dean stands.  
“You go out with the family, bring home a nice dinner“, Dean analyzes the situation, “How’d you get stuck doing the dishes?“  
“We all have our roles to play.“ The vamp sounds like he’s trying to fake a raspy, mysterious voice. He fails.  
“Yours being destroying the evidence, yeah?“, Sam asks and holds up the wallets he took from the vamp, “Nice job, Ralph Hedges, Stacy Kepler… Any reason you targeted them?“  
“Yeah…“, The vamp looks up and grins, “Hunger.“  
Yeah, why would he dispose of the body then? Efficiency and stuff.  
“And, so, the family’s, what?“, Dean asks, “Out taking a nice after-dinner stroll?“  
“Oh, I’m sure they’ll be back real soon.“ So now the vamps trying to scare us? Well, if it weren’t for Sam and Dean, it would work for me.   
Dean steps up close to the vamp and grabs his hair, making him face him. “What I asked was ‘Where are they‘.“  
The vampire just chuckles. Dean lets go of him and takes a small step back. Then, out of nowhere, he punches the restrained vamp right in the face. I flinch a tiny bit. I really didn’t expect that.  
“You don’t want to talk, no skin of my back“, Dean says, “Cause, you see, a blood-sucking, body-chipping vamp, that’s bad enough. But vamps that kidnap kids…“ He pulls his machete out of his jacket. “Well, I’m going to enjoy putting you down.“  
Weirdly enough, the vampire starts laughing. “Of course. Oh, I knew this was about Alexis. I warned Mama that girl would screw everything up for us one day.“  
“You mean one vamp turned you all?“, Sam asks.  
“Well, all of us but little sis“, the vampire replies. “She was ‘too good to turn‘. Mama couldn’t bring herself to, no matter what we said, no matter how bad Alexis got.“  
“Bad?“, Dean asks.  
“Oh, come on, you have a teenage girl right there“, the vampire says and nods into my direction. “Dragging her heels, whining, near constant, about everything, but more and more about the blood, like she’s somehow above it, like she’s better than us because she doesn’t feed on people.“  
That’s right, though.  
“She is better than you, dumbass“, Dean says.  
“Her moping?“ The vamp doesn’t sound convinced. “That teenage crisis-of-conscience crap? It’s annoying as hell, but it’s just an act. When the chips are down, she’ll always choose us over humans.“ He laughs again. “I mean, how do you think we stayed off your radar for all these years? Pretty, young, lost-looking thing like her?“ He scoffs. “Irresistible, especially to the kind of men few people would miss. I mean, sure, we hunt sometimes, for sport, but it’s a lot easier and a lot safer to get delivery.“  
“She’s your lure“, I summarize what he just said. Oh my. That changes pretty much everything. Sam and Dean kill monsters, but what about Alex now?  
“Best a vamp could ask for“, the vampire replies, “And you better believe you don’t get that good at it unless you enjoy it, in her own sweet way. Girl’s as bloodthirsty as any vampire.“  
Sam stands up. “Jody“, he says.  
Oh no. I completely forgot about Sheriff Mills. She’s alone with Alex, in some cabin in the woods.

“She’s not answering“, Dean says. He tried to call Mills, while Sam called someone else.  
“I just ran the victims’ ID through local PD“, Sam says, “They both worked at the O’Neill bus station.“  
“So they killed them for Alex’s location“, Dean concludes. Ah yes. It’s all coming together.  
Dean’s cellphone rings. He picks up immediately. “Jody? Listen to me. The vamps knew that Alex went to Sioux Falls, okay? They’re probably already there, we’re on our way. But there’s something else, something about Alex. … What? … We’re on our way.“  
Dean puts down the phone, looking highly concerned. “She hung up.“  
“We moving?“, Sam asks.  
“Yeah, meet you outside“, Dean says before he steps inside the room again in which the vampire is, which we left so that he couldn’t hear us talking.  
Sam and I leave the house and walk towards the Impala.

When we finally get to the cabin, the sun has already risen. There’s someone lying on the ground in front of the cabin. We jump out of the car, not literally, we’re very fast though.  
It’s Mills. Just when we get to her, she tries to sit up. There’s blood coming out of her nose. Looks like she got a punch in the face and passed out.  
“Where’s Alex?“, she asks as Sam and Dean help her stand up, “They came, and I tried to stop them.“  
“And you got knocked out?“, I ask.  
Mills shrugs. “Happens to the best of us.“  
“Just lucky you’re alive“, Sam says.  
“You think they went back to the nest?“, Dean asks Sam and me.  
“Of course, why wouldn’t they?“, Sam replies, “Question is, what are they gonna do when they find their brother dead?“  
“So we go back now?“, I ask.  
“Okay“, Mills answers instead of the brothers, to which I was actually speaking, “I’m coming.“  
She walks towards the car, but Sam holds her back.  
“Whoa, Jody“, Dean says, “Hold on, you’re hurt.“  
“I’m coming“, she says again.  
“Jody, we can handle the nest on our own“, Sam says.  
“I don’t give a fig about the nest“, Mills says coarse, “That girl was under my protection.“  
“That girl can’t be trusted, she’s a lure, a honey trap“, Dean explains, “She’s been feeding people to those vamps!“  
Mills looks shocked, but she keeps insisting. “I don’t care. Whatever she did, she did it because they made her.“  
“And that’s a reason?“, Dean asks.  
“What if Mila was forced to do something?! Alex’s a kid!“  
“Yeah, a kid who’s been playing vampire murder since she was in braces!“  
“Jody, he’s right“, Sam supports his brother, “At best, her loyalties are screwed.“  
“How do you even know she wants to be saved?“, Dean asks, “For the past eight years, she’s been baiting the hook for an entire nest, she’s got more blood on her hands than most monsters we kill.“  
Actually, I’m kinda with Mills in this one. Extreme Stockholm syndrome, you name it. Alex was raised into believing what she did was the right thing. Furthermore, Sam and Dean have killed so many monsters, celestials and demons possessing humans already- so the humans, too- that with that logic they’d have to kill themselves. Yet, I don’t say anything. I don’t want to choose a side in this.  
“Are you saying she’s on your list?!“, Mills asks unbelievingly.  
“No, we’re not saying that“, Sam says.  
“Well, not yet“, Dean adds. Well, that was uncalled for. Mills looks shocked. “Look, it sucks, okay? It does, but with hunting monsters comes harsh truths. This is a clean-up mission, it’s not a rescue.“  
“What is this even about?“, Sam asks, “You barely know the girl.“  
Mills doesn’t reply. She walks past the brothers, towards the Impala. “I’m coming“, she repeats, “And if either of you lays so much as a hand on Alex, you’ll have to go through me.“  
She opens one of the doors to the backseat and gets in the Impala. Looks like we’re going back to the nest.

“Well, their truck’s in the driveway“, Mills says when she gets back to the Impala after checking out the nest. Dean hands her a machete.   
“So we’re walking right into it“, Sam concludes.  
Dean shrug. “Well, we faced worse odds.“  
“Yeah“, Mills says as she starts walking towards the building again.  
“Jody.“ Dean holds her back. “This is a raid, so tread lightly, stay close.“  
Sam hands me some syringes with Dead Man’s blood from the trunk, which distracts me from Dean and Mills. Then, we all start walking towards the building. I’m nervous, this time, I’m actually kind of scared. I could get killed, which wouldn’t be that bad, but if I mess something up, Sam, Dean or Mills could die, or Alex. Yes, I still want to save her instead of killing her.

No vamps to be seen as Dean opens the door of the old house. We sneak in, machetes ready. We all look in different rooms parting from the hallway. Still, nobody’s there. Dean walks towards a staircase leading upstairs. He nods at Sam and starts walking up. With a gesture, Sam quietly tells Mills to stay where she is, then he waves for me to follow him and Dean. I sneak up the stairs behind them. I feel bad leaving Mills behind, but I’m also glad that I’m with Sam and Dean.   
When we reach the top of the stairs, Dean makes a hand motion, telling Sam and me to split up. We do, and I walk into one of the rooms parting from the upper hallway. It looks like a bedroom for more than four vamps, as there are more mattresses and sleeping bags, as well as some closets. Wait, do vamps always keep their closets half-open…? I slowly walk towards it, the machete ready in my hand. With my non-dominant, I open the closet.  
The next thing I know is that there’s a shotgun to my head. A vampire steps out of the closet.  
“Drop it, sweetie“, he hisses. I let go of the machete.  
The vampire kicks it out of the way and pushes me towards the door, back to the hallway, the shotgun to my back. Sam and Dean come out of their rooms, one to my left and one to the right, and stop mid-motion when they see me.  
“Down“, the vampire that got me says.  
Sam and Dean let their machetes fall to the ground. Two other vampires, each from one end of the hallway, come up to Sam and Dean. One strikes Dean with a plank, and he passes out.  
I screwed up.  
The vampires push Sam and me into a room and pull Dean into it, too. They tie Sam and me to one chair each. I try to say something, tell him that I’m sorry, but the vampire with the shotgun is still aiming at me.   
“Hell of a sight to come home to“, he says, “Brother lying dead on the floor…“  
He hits Sam in the stomach with the other end of the shotgun. I pull at the tape they used to tie me up, but it’s too tight.  
“… No idea it was a Winchester that had done it“, the vampire continues, “So… Which one of you was it?“  
Sam doesn’t reply. The vampire walks over to me and crouches down so that we’re face-to-face. “Which one of you took of my brother’s head?!“, he shouts.  
I almost flinch. Almost. The vampire tosses his brother the shotgun, which aims at Dean.  
“Pretty fitting“, the vampire says and stands up straight again, talking to Sam now, “A brother for a brother. This place has been a good home to us.“ He walks towards a table. “But since you had to come around and ruin it, we’re gonna hit the road and find a new one.“ He takes a knife, and, for some reason, cuts a thin tube in two. “And when we hit a road“, he says, still talking to Sam, taking a bucket and putting it on the floor next to me, “We like to pack a lunch.“   
He kneels down next to me. Oh, wow, I get to be vamp lunch. Sam looks genuinely scared right now. I mean, he’s right though, Dean’s got a shotgun to his head, he's tied to a chair and a vamp’s gonna cut me up, but, for me, it all feels like it’s losing touch to reality. I don’t really know how to explain it. The whole situation just feels loose, while I don’t feel anything, even though I know I should, and I feel my heart beating too fast and my lower lip is trembling, but it all feels like it’s happening to someone else, not me.   
I almost don’t feel the infusion the vamp puts into my hand. But it stings as my blood gets sucked out of my body and drips into the bucket. It’s going really fast… Wait, how much blood does a human have? Four to six liters, right? I think you can loose about two or three of those before it kills you. Or was it less…?   
In the back of my mind, I realize that the bloodloss is making me dizzy. The corners of my field of vision go black, and my sight blurs. I barely hear the vampires talking to each other. But I can see Dean suddenly jumping up and putting a syringe in one of their chests. That vamp goes down. The other one throws Dean over the table. They fight, and Dean screams at the vampire before he decapitates him.  
"Look at me, bitch!"   
Then, he rushes over to untie Sam and me. I can barely see, or hear. Sam says something to Dean, something about… Jody. Dean stops for a second, then he really hurries, cutting us loose. I try to stand up, and I almost fall down immediately. Sam catches me and picks me up. They run down the stairs, then down the basement. Now that my blood isn’t dripping out of me anymore, I can see a little again. We reach the bottom of the stairs. When I finally get to take a look, a vampire is lying on the floor, decapitated. Jody and Alex are there, Jody has some bad bruises…  
Looks like Mama got some cops on her.

Even though the door to the backseat of the Impala is open and I’m sitting there, still dizzy because of the blood loss, I don’t listen to Sam, Dean and Mills talking. It’s only until she walks up to me.  
“How are you holding up?“, she asks.   
I shrug. “I’ll be fine.“ I point at her knee, which she put a bandage over. Maybe she twisted it. “What about you?“  
“Me too.“ She looks at me for a few seconds. “Stay safe, Mila.“  
I nod. “See you then, Sheriff.“  
She chuckles. “It’s Jody“, she says before walking away.  
When Sam and Dean get into the Impala, they’re not talking to each other anymore. I guess that’s my cue. I wait until Dean started the motor and pulled off from the cabin in the woods.   
“Guys“, I say then, “I’m really--“  
“It’s fine“, Dean interrupts me.  
I shake my head. “No, it’s not. They knocked you out because I screwed up. I almost got us all killed.“  
“You couldn’t have known there was a vampire hiding in the room“, Sam says, “It could’ve happened to any of us.“  
“That’s right“, Dean says and looks at me through the rearview mirror for a second, “Don’t beat yourself up over it, kid, you did a good job anyways. Try to get some sleep.“  
I nod a little. I still think I absolutely screwed up, but at least the brothers pretend I didn’t. I huddle into the backseat and slowly start falling asleep to the steady sound of the Impala’s engine.  
Looks like I survived my very first hunt.


	17. 9x23 - Consequences

I can hear the door to the bunker open and then shut as I write down ‘Abramelin Oil‘ on the jar’s label. I’m working on catalogizing the items the Men of Letters store, but for now, that can wait. I put the jar back into the shelf and rush towards the library to greet Sam, Dean and, hopefully, Castiel. And, also hopefully, the real Dean. He’s been pretty psycho ever since he stabbed Abaddon with the First Blade, the weapon you need the Mark of Cain for in order to use it. I don’t know, it was just a little weird, because Dean progressively became more aggressive, and it has me worried.   
I was right, Sam and Dean brought Castiel.   
“This is a dictatorship“, Dean says, right when I walk into the library, “Like it or not, that’s how it’s gonna be.“  
“Hi guys“, I greet them.  
They all turn around to me. Dean replies “Hi“, Cas, who is sitting at a table, waves, and Sam nods at me before leaving with his bag. After what I heard, that can’t be a good sign. I walk after him, maybe he got in an argument with Dean. I run into Sam punching the hallway‘s wall. I back away a little.  
“Sam?“, I say carefully. He turns around. “What happened? Did something go wrong?“  
“It’s nothing“, he lies. He turns around and starts walking away.  
“Is it about the Mark?“, I ask. Sam stops walking, but he doesn’t face me. So it is about Dean and the Mark. “Did it make Dean do something?“  
Sam sighs. Finally, he turns around. “I feel like it’s getting worse“, he says, sounding worried, even a little scared. “It’s like a mental illness, it’s making Dean so…“  
“Crazy and aggressive?“, I propose when he doesn’t finish his sentence.   
Sam nods. “He’s losing control, but we need the blade to get rid of Metatron.“  
“And how will we get rid of the Mark when that’s done?“, I ask.   
Sam looks hopeless and doesn’t reply. I guess that’s my answer.  
Whoosh!  
I flinch at the sound.  
“Did you hear that?“, I ask Sam.  
He shakes his head. “What are you talking about?“  
I look around. Nothing suspicious, but it feels like there’s somebody standing behind me.  
“That sounded just like an angel teleporting“, I say.   
Sam looks highly concerned. “I didn’t hear anything.“  
I don’t stop looking around.  
“It sounded like an angel teleporting and now it feels like there’s somebody behind me“, I insist.  
Even though Sam still looks confused, he looks around, too. Then he looks into the Map room just around the corner.  
“Guys!“, he suddenly shouts.  
I rush over to see why. From the opposite hallway parting from the Map room, a man steps in. I don’t know him. He looks nervous. Dean and Cas, both looking hateful, come into the room, too.   
“I’m not here to fight“, the man says loudly and lifts his hands to show that he’s unarmed.  
“Who are you?“, I ask.  
The man looks at me with an expression that can only be described with sorrow.  
“My name is Gadreel“, he says.  
So that’s him. I don’t listen to the conversation following, because I’m staring at the angel that killed my best friend. I promised Kevin I’d get over it, but now that Gadreel’s right here… Am I a horrible person for wishing he was dead?  
When I slowly start listening again, the boys carried the conversation to a point where I have no idea what they’re talking about.  
“I know where Metatron is“, Gadreel says, “I know everything, I know the bombers, they were…“ He looks at Cas. “They were his agents, not yours.“  
For a few seconds, nobody says anything.  
Gadreel sighs. “You don’t trust me, fine, I understand. I’ve made mistakes. But haven’t you, haven’t we all?“  
Wait, what’s that feeling? Oh, right… It’s rage.  
“You’ve made ‘mistakes‘?“, I repeat what he just said, “Like killing my best friend right in front of my eyes?“  
“Calm down“, Sam says.   
“I’m not calming down!“, I say loudly. All the emotions I suppressed for the past months come up again. “You know what’s a mistake?“, I ask Gadreel, “Wearing orange cardigan with red pants. So you know what’s not a mistake? Killing someone!“  
Sam pushes me back a little and holds his arm in front of me so that I can’t step closer to Gadreel.  
“We gotta worry about Metatron first“, Sam whispers, “Then you can knife him.“  
I watch as Dean steps towards Gadreel and offers him a handshake. Gadreel takes his hand. Then, suddenly, Dean is holding the First Blade in his other hand.   
The next thing I know is that Gadreel is falling backward, a giant cut across his chest that‘s glowing blue. Sam and Cas rush over to hold Dean back, who is yelling. He yanks himself out of their grasps.  
“Drop the blade, Dean!“, Sam shouts.  
“Move“, Dean demands, eyes on Gadreel, who fell to the ground.   
“Dean--“ Sam gets interrupted by his brother.  
“Sam, move!“, Dean says even louder.  
Then, Cas grabs him from behind and holds him back. Sam reaches for the blade in Dean’s hand.  
“Let it go, Dean! Let it go!“, Sam demands, but Dean doesn’t.  
I slowly walk backward. I don’t consider myself to be a coward, but Dean yelling and the knife and this horrible rage in his eyes… It’s scaring me.  
Finally, Sam manages to get a hold of the First Blade. He throws it, and, out of reflex, I catch. I’m holding a jawbone of a donkey, one of Heaven’s most deadly weapons.  
Ew.  
Gadreel teleports away and leaves nothing but a puddle of blood as Cas and Sam pull Dean towards the hallway. I follow them down the staircase, to the archive and then through the secret door into the dungeon. There, they let him go.   
Dean still looks mad. I‘m leaning against the doorframe, and, even though I’m ashamed to admit it, I‘m ready to run. I do trust Dean, but I do not trust this influenced version of him. I ‘hide‘ the First Blade behind my back. The sight might make it worse for Dean.  
“The hell if you think I’m riding the pine on this one, guys“, Dean says.  
“Something is wrong with you, Dean“, Sam insists, “And until we figure out what, this is where you have to stay.“  
Dean looks unbelieving. “And you two are gonna do what? Take on Metatron yourselves? That’s smart.“ He scoffs and turns to Cas. “No, you-- You lost your Angel army.“ He looks at Sam again. “And you—Now you’re trying to lock up the one guy who has a shot at killing the son of a bitch!“ He shouts the last part. “Hell of a plan, fellas.“  
Without giving him an answer, Sam and Castiel turn around and Sam makes me walk in front of him. We leave the dungeon and Sam and Cas close the secret door. As we leave the archive and walk up to the library again after Cas locked the door behind us, I can hear Dean shout down there.  
“Sam?“, Castiel says when we’re back in the library and Sam takes a metal box from a shelf.  
“Yeah?“ Sam unlocks the box, which is empty.  
“Dean was not wrong“, Cas says, “My followers did abandon us.“  
I don’t know about any of that, I just know that Castiel had some angels that helped him. I wonder what he did to lose them all.  
“Yeah, and Gadreel says he can help us“, Sam replies, “From where I sit, that’s more than an even trade.“  
He puts out his hand and I give him the First Blade. He puts it in the box.  
“Yeah, but Gadreel is gone“, I say and point to the blood the angel left on the floor.  
Sam and Cas look surprised, then shocked. Oh, haven’t they noticed?  
“We have to find him“, Sam says, “We're moving.“  
Cas nods. Wait, did he mean me by that, too?  
Sam closes the box with the First Blade.  
“Mila“, he says urgently. I nod to show that I’m listening- Not that I wasn’t before. “You need to stay here while we find Gadreel. You have to look after the First Blade so that Dean can’t use it. Don’t talk to him, don’t even go to the archive. You can’t let him out, got it?“   
I nod heavily. Talking to ‘prisoners‘ in the dungeon hasn’t led to anything good so far. Sam looks at Cas, then they walk up the stairs to the bunker’s front door. A second before they leave, I have another thought.  
“Sam, Cas?“, I say. They both turn around. “Be safe, okay?“  
They smile.   
“You too“, Castiel says.   
With that, the two of them leave the bunker. The door slams shut behind them. I take a deep breath. Now all I can do is wait.  
I take the metal box and walk to my bedroom, looking for something I can distract myself with. While playing with my key-necklace, the one made from Kevin’s cello case, that exact item in the corner catches my eye. It’s standing right next to my violin case, which gives me an idea.   
It’s been a hot minute since I played it, to be more precise, it’s been almost two years, I think. It’s weird that it’s so much. I mean, there were so many things going on, and I haven’t got the chance to play ever since. The last thing I played was the Pachelbel Canon. And back then, it was a duet.   
I put the box with the First Blade into a drawer of my desk, open the case and pick up the bow, tightening it as its hair went a little limp. Then, I look into the case and take the rosin, using it on the bow. When I’m done with that, I take the violin itself and rest the lower back on my collar bone, holding it in place with my jaw. It all seems so familiar, but at the same time, it feels out of place, here, in my bedroom in the bunker.   
Carefully, I pull the bow across the strings to play a note, but I stop abruptly at the sound of it. I reach up with the hand holding the bow to touch my necklace again. It makes me feel like he’s with me in some way. I take a deep breath and get in position. Again, I pull the bow across the strings, holding the note, a G. I pause for a second, then I play on. I haven‘t played in almost two years, but I learned it for, like, ten. I may be a little out of shape, but that’s fine, regarding the circumstances. My hands find their own way, and soon enough form the melody of one of my favorite pieces, the Mazurka in A Minor by Chopin.   
After just a minute, I feel like there’s some kind of ringing in my ear. I shake it off, though, I guess it’s because it’s been a long time since I heard something like live music.  
Then, I can hear something slamming shut. I stop playing and lower the bow, just when someone’s shouting can be heard. I put the violin and the bow back into the case and put it into the corner where it was. That’s gotta be Dean shouting. Sam told me to not go to the archive… But what if Dean hurt himself?   
I’m not even going to talk to him, I’ll just make sure he’s okay.

After I walked down the staircase and stand in front of the archive, I can hear Dean talking. Eavesdropping is bad, I know, but I think, in this case, it’s an exception.   
I can’t really make out any words Dean says. But what I do make out is a second voice. It’s dark and snarky. That sounds an awful lot like… But how would he get in? Dean can’t perform a summoning spell in there, can he? I listen even more carefully. Without a shadow of a doubt, that’s Crowley. And then, I realize something.  
The First Blade is in the bunker.  
Dean is in the bunker, too, and so is Crowley.  
And so am I…  
I take a few steps back. Dean summoned Crowley to get him out of the dungeon so that he can get the First Blade. And he’s probably furious that we locked him up… Would he hurt me in order to find out where I put the Blade?  
I run back to my bedroom and take the box with the First Blade out of my drawer, then I skip down the hallway. Taking turns after turns, I get closer to the less-known part of the bunker. I don’t think Dean would consider searching there, I don’t even know if he’s ever been there.  
“Kid!“  
Even though it’s far away, I flinch at the sound of Dean’s voice. I was right, he sounds really mad, but like he’s trying to suppress the anger in his voice. I run even faster until I open a random door. It leads to a storeroom. Perfect.   
I put the box on a shelf, and it really looks as if it belonged there. I leave the room again and close the door behind me.  
“Mila, where are you?“  
Dean’s voice sounds a little closer. I think for a second. The First Blade is hidden, but if I stay right here, Dean’s gonna search the room, so I need to get away. I skip down the hallway again, out of the less known part of the bunker. Maybe, if it takes Dean long enough, Sam and Cas will be back before he finds the blade.   
Just when I take a turn, I run into someone. Whoever it is, he has good reflexes, because he twists my arm on my back, making it hurt just a little, and puts his arm around my neck, but without any pressure, more like a threat and so that I can’t move.  
“Where is it?“, Dean asks. I struggle in his grip, but he pulls my arm up so that it hurts. Tears shoot into my eyes, but I don’t reply.  
Crowley appears in my field of vision. That sicko.  
“We don’t have the time for this now, do we?“, he asks.  
Dean doesn’t answer. “Where is it?“, he repeats. When I don’t say anything, he pulls my arm up even further.  
“Fine, break my arm“, I hiss through clenched teeth, trying to ignore the pain, “I’m not gonna tell you!“  
Finally, Dean lets go of me. He pushes me forward, so hard that I almost fall. Now there are walls to my front and back, Crowley’s right to me and Dean‘s to my left. I have nowhere to go. I just hope Sam and Cas will be back soon.  
“This is the only way to defeat Metatron“, Dean explains, the suppressed anger now really audible in his voice.  
I shake my head. “When you get the blade, you won’t be the same again.“  
“Where did Moose go?“, Crowley asks, “Come on, Duckling, you can tell us.“ He looks around dramatically. “Nowhere left to run, is there?“  
I make a face as he calls me ‘Duckling‘. I mean, at least Moose and Squirrel fit, but this?!  
“He‘ll be back soon“, I say and try to sound confident in my words, “And I don’t even know where he went, probably hiding the blade.“  
The last part, the lie, was directed at Dean. Maybe it’ll work…  
“Nobody likes a liar, Duckling“, Crowley says. Okay, that didn’t work. Or…?  
“Since when do you guys tell me what you do?“, I reply, “ Seriously, Sam took the First Blade with him!“  
Dean narrows his eyes. “Are you lying to me, kid?“  
I shake my head again.   
Crowley sighs. “This is starting to bore me.“  
He makes a wiping motion with his hand. Suddenly, an invisible force slams me against the wall in front of me. I slide down the wall to the ground. That freaking hurt! I touch my head. It’s bleeding, apparently a laceration. My sight is a little blurry, and it feels like I‘m having a migraine.  
“Crowley!“, Dean barks, then he crouches down to me. “You tell me where you put the blade right now.“  
“I told you“, I say, touching the wound. Now my hands are bloody. “Sam has it!“  
Isn’t it funny? I don’t even care about the blood. The only thing that matters now is to keep Dean away from the blade.  
“Interesting.“ I look up as Crowley steps a little closer. “Your soul looks a little different than usual…“  
“Not now, Crowley“, Dean says loudly. He grabs me and pulls me back up. Not letting go of my shoulders, he pushes me against the wall, so high that my toes barely touch the floor. “I know you put the blade somewhere, not Sam. Where?“ I don’t reply. Dean shakes me a little so that the back of my head hits the wall. “Where?!“  
Great, so now I’m crying. Dean doesn’t seem to see, nor listen. He’s not even trying!  
“You tell me right now!“, he shouts in my face. I flinch and try to turn away, but he won’t let me.  
“Squirrel, come on“, Crowley says annoyed, “There are easier ways.“  
Dean lets go of me. I can feel blood on my face. “What are you talking about?“  
The King of Hell scoffs. “The Mark is binding you to the Blade. Can’t you feel it?“  
Dean seems to think. He’s got a concentrated look on his face. Something at his right arm starts glowing red. Through his jacket, I can figure a kind of L-shape with two dots. That’s the Mark of Cain.   
Dean starts walking away, the direction I came from. I can’t do anything but look after him. He got it. Dean will find the First Blade, and there’s literally nothing I can do about it. Crowley smiles as I slide back down to the ground. The edges of my field of vision go black and my head won’t stop spinning and there’s blood dripping down my face and onto my clothes.  
Then, Dean is back. He’s holding the box with the First Blade. It’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen, and I saw Leviathans in their true form and a vampire chipping the leftovers of his meal, as well as tons of stabbed bodies, my best friend’s corpse and a random woman exploding right in my face. But this is different. Because I know Dean, and he’s not dead, but now he’s gone anyways.   
Dean looks at me leaning against the wall, and he almost seems sorry. Almost.  
“Let’s go“, Crowley says and snaps his fingers, just when my eyes are about to close by themselves. The last thing I know is that I’m alone in the hallway.

“Mila? Hey, Mila!“  
I open my eyes. My head hurts and I’m dizzy, but I look up.  
“Sam?“  
He kneels down next to me on the floor. I reach up and carefully touch my face. It’s smeared with blood. The memory slowly comes back. There are tears in my eyes before I even fully remember.  
“Sam, I’m sorry, I messed up“, I say. My voice sounds weird.   
“Hey, come on“, Sam says. He doesn’t sound mad.  
He pulls me on my feet, and when I tumble, he helps me walk back to the library. Castiel is there, and Gadreel, too. I try to ignore him as Sam gently pushes me into a chair. Cas comes over to us.  
“What happened?“, he asks Sam.   
Sam shrugs and looks through the shelves until he finds a wooden box. He puts it down on the table and opens it, then he takes a white tissue out of it. I just now recognize the box, it’s the First aid kit. Sam sits down and turns the chair I’m sitting in so that we sit opposite each other. He starts cleaning my face by wiping the blood away.  
“Sam, I can--“, Cas starts, but Sam interrupts him.  
“No, Cas, you did enough.“ He nods towards Gadreel, then he puts some disinfectant on another tissue. “This might hurt a little“, he says to me.  
I whimper as he disinfects the wound at my head. It feels like it’s burning, but I try to move as little as possible. When Sam’s done, he puts a band-aid over the wound.  
“Now, what happened?“, he asks then, “Smells like sulfur. Did Crowley break in?“  
I shake my head a little. “I don’t think so“, I mumble. When I notice that I’m not easy to understand, I try to talk a little louder. “I think Dean summoned him to help him break the archive’s door open. I hid the First Blade in a storeroom... And then I ran into Dean and Crowley, and I told them that you guys took the Blade, but they wouldn’t believe me.“   
I touch the band-aid at my head for a second.   
“And I kept telling them I didn’t know where it was, but Crowley told Dean that the Mark is binding him to the Blade, and the Mark of Cain started glowing and Dean left, and when he came back, he had the box.“ I take a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, guys, I messed up, and now Dean and Crowley are gone with the Blade, just because I--“  
“That wasn’t your fault“, Castiel interrupts me, “If Dean is really bound to the First Blade, then there’s nothing you could’ve done.“  
Sam takes his cellphone out of his pocket and presses a number. He waits for a few seconds, then he gets send to voicemail.  
“Dean, pick up the phone“, he says loudly, “Call me back. I’m not kidding, alright? Don’t do this. Not like this.“  
“Are you sure it was Crowley?“, Cas asks me.  
I don’t need to think before I nod. “Small douchebag, called Sam ‘Moose‘ and Dean ‘Squirrel‘, and threw me against a wall. Who else would it be?“ I scrunch up my nose. “He called me ‘Duckling‘ and said something about my soul.“  
“It is changed“, someone says. I turn my head to see Gadreel. “There is something angelic about it. Why? Were you possessed?“  
I shake my head. “Haven’t met any other guys like you.“ I can see that he noticed the insult, but he chooses to ignore it.  
“Well, if Dean has the Mark of Cain and the First Blade, he might give us our best chance“, he says. Wait a second…  
“You’re kidding, are you?“, I ask unbelievingly. “I get that you haven’t been around, but have you seen Dean?! He slit your chest!“ I scoff, because, as I see now, there’s no wound anymore, so Castiel probably healed him. “He almost broke my arm and slammed me against a wall!“  
“He did what now?“, Castiel asks.  
“An hour ago, we were ready to throw Dean into a padded cell“, Sam interferes, “And now you say he’s our best chance?“  
“Hear him out, Sam“, Cas says.  
Sam scoffs. “Oh, right, excuse me, sorry, guys, sorry I’m a little less than eager to hear that our best chance is arming the warhead and hoping it hits the mark!“ He sounds angry. “This is not a bomb we’re talking about, this is my brother!“  
“And your brother“, Gadreel says, “Would not be in this alone. We can help.“  
“How?“, Sam asks warily.  
“I believe“, Gadreel answers, “Metatron has found a way to tap into the Angel Tablet.“  
Hm. Haven’t seen that one in a while.  
“He“, Gadreel continues, “Is harnessing its power to give him powers equivalent to--“  
“God, right?“, Sam interrupts him, “I mean, that’s what this is all about, isn’t it?“  
That douche? Ew. I mean, I haven’t noticed the ‘other‘ God do anything about anything, but I’d rather have someone not doing anything instead of someone doing bad.“Metatron wants to be God?“, I ask, just to make sure.   
Gadreel nods. Sam heavily exhales. “Great, well, that basically makes him unstoppable.“  
“Not if we can break the connection between Metatron and the Tablet“, Castiel says, “That would make him just an ordinary angel. Where’s the Tablet?“, he asks Gadreel.  
“Metatron’s office“, the other angel replies.  
“In Heaven?“, Sam asks.   
Gadreel nods. “I can open the door.“  
“And then what?“ Sam sounds like he’s giving up all hope. “I mean, why would they let you in? If Metatron’s number two shows up with Heaven’s most wanted, the gig is up!“  
“We have to try“, Castiel says.  
Oh come on, this is in so many movies. Even Star Wars did it! The gig wouldn’t be up at all. Gadreel could just pretend to have captured Castiel, and, bam, they’re in. But, to be fair, that didn’t end well in the movies.

The Impala pulls in on the trailer park’s parking lot. Through the windshield, I can see Dean driving and Crowley on the passenger seat.   
Sam and I got here pretty fast, took us less time than I needed to convince Sam to let me come with him. After Cas and Gadreel left to find the Angel Tablet, we looked through the internet to find Metatron. And we did find something, a video where a woman gets hit by a car and resurrected by Metatron, posing as some human named Marv. Looking up the woman, we found that this is where she lives. We already talked to her.   
“I guess one of us doesn’t need a demon to help follow a clue trial“, Sam says as soon as Dean reaches us after he got out of the Impala, leaving Crowley leaning against the car. I take a small step back. I know that Dean’s not really in control when it’s about the First Blade, but, still, he really scared me.  
“You’re looking for miracle lady, right?“, Sam asks and nods towards her trailer. “She’s gone. We had a nice chat with her, though.“  
“Sam, whatever kind of intervention you think this is, trust me, it ain‘t“, Dean says. “I’m not gonna explain myself to you.“  
“Yeah, I sorta got that“, Sam replies, “I just thought you might like to know that while you two have been playing Odd Couple, your real friends, like Cas, like the angel you stabbed, Gadreel, they’re out there right now risking their asses to help you win this fight!“  
“What the hell are you talking about?“, Dean asks, but Sam isn’t finished yet.  
“A fight, I might add, you made that much more complicated when you decided to stab the one angel who could actually get us to Metatron!“  
“You mean the angel that took you for a joy ride?“, Dean asks, “The angel that slaughtered Kevin, that angel?“  
“Who you let in the front door in the first place“, Sam clarifies, “You tricked me, Dean, and now I’m the one who wakes up in the middle of the night seeing my hands kill Kevin, not you!“  
“Stop that!“, I say loudly. Sam and Dean both look at me. “Stop arguing for once, both of you! Metatron has to die, and you“, I look at Dean and try to lower my voice a little bit, “Are the only one who can do it, I get that, we all messed up, we all are messed up, but why do you keep arguing?! Every single time the world needs you, both of you, together, that’s when you start fighting! Why can’t you see that it’s not you against each other, it’s both against the problem?“  
I really can’t hear it anymore. Dean went to Purgatory, Sam got pulled out of his normal life when he came back, then Sam did the trials and then the angels fell, Dean made an angel possess him, which led to Metatron manipulating Gadreel so that he’d kill Kevin and help him take over Heaven, then Cas build an army and, apparently, gave it up again for Dean, who, in the meantime, got the Mark of Cain, and it goes on and on and on. One event triggers a new one, and we can’t get out.  
“I’m gonna take my shot, for better or worse“, Dean says after a few seconds.  
“I know“, Sam replies.  
“No matter the consequences.“  
“I know“, Sam says again. They both seem a lot calmer- and quieter. “But if this is it, we’re gonna do it together. You want to know what he whispered to her, right? In the video.“ He nods at the trailer again. “His next stop.“  
“So what are we all gollywagging on about?“, I can hear Crowley say. Looks like he’s been listening all along. “Chop-chop! Excuse me, I’m not exactly demon minion number three here. As the kids say, I got mad skills.“  
Wow. Looks like I’ll never say ‘mad skills‘ again.  
Dean walks up to Crowley. “I don’t know what you expected here, okay?“, he says annoyed, “I don’t really care. But you said you wanted off the hamster wheel. Get off.“  
Crowley sighs. “Well, I guess I’ve been Winchestered. I’d wish you guys good luck if I thought it would help.“  
With that, he’s gone.

“Anything?“, Dean asks Sam as soon as his little brother is back at the Impala. We drove the whole day, so now it’s dark. I pretend that I didn’t notice Dean’s hands shaking when he stopped touching the First Blade, and now I’m leaning against the car to give the brothers some space.  
“Yeah, he’s here“, Sam says. He’s been walking around a little, searching for angelic signs, and it looks like he found some. “About a mile up the road, there’s a homeless encampment. The way the folks are talking, he got them convinced he’s some kind of… New Jesus or something. You good?“, he asks when Dean doesn’t reply.  
“Yeah, I’m good“, Dean answers. I try not to scoff because we don’t need another argument, not now that we’re so close to finally defeating Metatron.  
Sam takes something wrapped in fabric out of the trunk, the First Blade, of course. He hands it to Dean.  
“Listen, Sammy“, Dean says, not looking at him, “About, you know, the last couple of months--“  
“I know“, Sam interrupts him. It’s obvious that Dean wanted to apologize for his behavior. “So, before we find something else to fight about, tell me“, he says and closes the Impala‘s trunk, “Are you ready to gut this bitch?“  
Dean nods and waits for him to pick up his bag. “Sorry, little brother, it’s not your fight.“ With that, he smacks Sam right across the face.  
I jump up. “Dean, what the hell are you doing?!“  
Sam falls to the ground. Dean knocked him out, and now he turns to me.  
“Not yours either, kid.“  
Before I can do anything but flinch, Dean comes up to me. Next thing I know is that he pushes me through the Impala’s backseat’s open door and cuffs my right hand to the front seat.  
“Dean, stop!“, I say as he turns around and starts walking up the road, “Dean!“  
But he ignores me. When he’s out of sight, I start thinking, quickly. If Dean walks in there alone, he’s gonna get killed, I am certain. But I can’t fight, furthermore, I’m in handcuffs, and Castiel isn’t around and I can’t call him, so the only one who could possibly save Dean is Sam, who is still knocked out. I guess I gotta wake him up.   
I look around in the car. Next to me on the backseat, there’s my bag. I go through it with my left hand until I find the lockpick I keep in there. I take it out, then I start picking the handcuffs‘ locks.  
After minutes, the lock finally clicks and I’m able to get my hand out of the handcuffs. Bad luck that Dean cuffed my dominant hand, otherwise I would have been faster. I throw the lockpick back into my bag and rub my wrist, which is red and hurts a little. Then, I rush over to Sam, who is still unconscious. I shake him, which I may or may not be sorry about, but now is really not the time to be gentle.  
“Sam? Sam!“  
Finally, his eyes slowly open. He sits up and puts his head in his hands for a second. He obviously has a bad headache from the punch.  
“Mila? Where’s Dean?“, he asks.  
I point up the road where Dean went. “He walked towards the encampment.“  
I help him get to his feet, and we run.  
Yes, we manage to run the whole way.  
When we get to the encampment, there’s a crowd of people, homeless people. They‘re slowly coming closer. Without a second thought, Sam pulls out a gun.  
“Stay back“, he demands. They all look scared and step backward. “Where’s Metatron?“, Sam asks.  
A rather young blonde steps forward a little. “In there“, she says and points at one of the surrounding buildings that looks like a storage hall, “He’s praying for our forgiveness--“  
Sam pulls me with him as he runs towards the building‘s entrance. Behind the door, there’s a staircase leading down. We skip down the stairs and end up in a big room with many machines. We walk through until we see something. Fortunately, I understand the situation in half a second.  
Dean is half-sitting, half-leaning against the wall, the First Blade in his hands, and he has blood all over his face. Heaven’s greatest douche is standing right in front of him.  
And then, Metatron stabs him.  
He puts a blade through his heart.  
“No!“, Sam shouts.  
He rushes over to his brother and holds him up, and I follow him.  
Dean can’t die. He just can’t!  
Metatron watches the scene with a smile. Then, a loud rambling starts. The ground shakes, and Metatron looks up. Suddenly, Sam has an angel blade. He lifts it, ready to fight Metatron, but God’s scribe disappears.  
I hold Dean up as Sam kneels down again. He’s gasping, and there’s blood on my hands when I touch him. His blood. Sam looks lost.  
“Sammy“, Dean says quietly, “You gotta get out of here before he comes back.“  
“Shut up“, Sam says, his voice shaking, “Just shut up, okay, save your energy, we’ll stop the bleeding, we’ll get you a doctor or find a spell, you’re gonna be okay…“  
I take off my jacket and the blouse I’m wearing over my shirt and hand the blouse to Sam. He presses it on the wound. I hate to admit it, but that looks pretty deep.  
“Listen to me“, Dean says and looks Sam into the eyes, “It’s better this way.“  
“What?“, Sam asks unbelievingly.  
“The Mark.“ Dean’s voice is breaking. “It’s making me into something I don’t want to be.“  
“Don’t worry about the Mark“, Sam says, “We’ll figure out the Mark later, just hold on, okay? Give me some help“, he adds, directed at me, and pulls Dean up.  
I help him get his brother back to his feet and hold him up. He’s weak, he’s so very weak… But we can’t give up hope!  
“What happened to you being okay with this?“, Dean asks Sam as we carry him to the stairs.  
“I lied“, Sam replies.  
“Well, ain’t that a bitch“, Dean jokes.  
In my ear, I hear a ringing again. I try to shake it off. But it really won’t stop. Could that have something to do with Metatron…?  
“Hold up, hold up!“, Dean suddenly says.  
He leans against some boxes lying around. His gasps got weaker. I step back because obviously he’s in pain.  
“I got to say something to you“, Dean tells his brother and puts a hand on his shoulder.  
“What?“, Sam asks confused.  
Dean takes a deep, shaky breath. “I’m proud of us.“  
With that, he falls forward into Sam’s arms.  
“Wake up, buddy, hey, wake up… Dean?“ Sam holds his brother's face in his hands. Dean’s eyes are closed. And I… I can’t hear him breathing anymore. “Dean!“, Sam shouts.  
He starts sobbing and pulls Dean into a hug, who’s not moving. I can’t figure out what to do.

Dean Winchester, the savior that gave it all for everybody but himself, is dead.


	18. 10x3 - Why would you come after me with a hammer?

Dean Winchester, the savior that gave it all for everybody but himself, is not dead.  
He’s just gone.  
I thought he was dead. He did die in Sam’s arms, Metatron stabbed him and his heart stopped beating. We brought his corpse back to the bunker, and then, it was gone.   
When I cleaned up the dungeon, I found a summoning spell, which had been used two times. I researched and apparently the spell summons Crowley. The first time was Dean when we had him locked up down there. And the second time had to be Sam, as it wasn’t me and there’s no one left. He totally broke over his brother’s death, he would’ve done anything to revive him. I felt bad about Dean’s death for so long, because it felt like it was my fault because if I would’ve been able to pick my handcuffs faster, we would’ve gotten to Dean before Metatron stabbed him. And now, as far as we know, Dean is a demon because of that.  
I don’t really know how it works, but somehow, the Mark of Cain made him a demon instead of letting him die. We knew he was out there, and it drove Sam crazy. He wouldn‘t come back to the bunker for days, sometimes even weeks, trying to find him. And he managed it.  
So now, we have Dean in the dungeon, in the middle of a Devil’s Trap, bound to a chair. Sam is certain that using what he used back when he was performing the third trial on Crowley will work, so he’s stealing a massive stock of donated blood in bags. I’m currently waiting for him to come back. This is worse than being alone in the bunker with Dean when he was driven by anger because of the First Blade which Crowley hid somewhere, because it doesn’t feel like it’s Dean anymore.   
Finally, I can hear the bunker’s door opening and then closing again. I rush to the Map room, which doesn’t take long as I was sitting in the library. Sam, holding a container with bags of blood in it in his right hand, the side where he dislocated his shoulder while fighting a demon, nods at me and walks down the staircase to the archive. I follow him down there. When he opens the secret door to the dungeon, I stay behind a little. Dean is bound to the chair, just where we left him. He doesn’t look mad, he looks calm, and maybe a little annoyed. To be honest, that’s even worse.  
Sam puts the container down on the table standing in the corner of the room.  
“Really?“, Dean asks as I hand Sam the bag with the syringes that’s with all the blades on the wall.  
“For whatever it’s worth, I’ve got your blood type“, Sam says.  
“Sam, I know you think you’re gonna try and fix me“, Dean says while Sam takes a syringe out of the bag and gives it to me, “But did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want to be fixed? Just let me go live my life, I won’t bother you. What do you care?“  
“What do I care?“ Sam asks while I put some blood into the syringe he picked. I wonder who donated it originally.  
Sam takes some holy water that is standing on the table and splashes it on the floor. It’s a spell. “Aritum sacrum…“  
“You think I’m just gonna sit here like Crowley getting all weepy while you shoot me up?“, Dean asks, “Well, screw that, I don’t want this!“  
“Yeah, I pretty much figured that out“, Sam says after he finished the spell.  
“You don’t even know if this is gonna work, do you?“, Dean asks. I lean against the secret door’s frame, which is as far away from him as possible without leaving the room. “You know, I got a hell of a lot more running through me than just demon juice.“  
“Mark of Cain, got it“, Sam says and takes the blood-filled syringe from me, then he hands me the holy water.  
“That’s right“, Dean acknowledges.  
Sam takes a deep breath and steps closer to his brother. “Buckle up.“  
“Sammy, you know I hate shots.“  
“Well, I hate demons“, Sam replies.  
He steps even closer to Dean. Then, from one second to another, Dean’s eyes go black. He growls and tugs at the ropes restraining him. Out of reflex, I splash holy water into his face while Sam jabs the needle into his right arm.  
“Look, we got a whole bunch more of these to do“, Sam says while stepping back again, “You could make it a lot easier on yourself.“  
Dean looks disgusted. But something else happens. He starts looking confused, and then he starts groaning and yelling. The human blood is hurting him, obviously. What if it won’t work?! After just a few seconds, it stops. He slowly looks up, heavily breathing. 

“For all you know, you could be killing me“, Dean says after the third injection.  
“Or you’re just messing with us“, Sam clarifies. “Either way, the lore doesn’t say anything about exceptions to the cure.“  
That’s the truth, I looked it up myself. But for some reason, Dean chuckles. “The lore. Hunters. Men of Letters. What a load of crap it all is. You got nothing?“, he asks Sam when his brother doesn’t reply.  
“Oh, you want me to debate you?“, Sam asks back, “This isn’t even the real you I’m talking to.“  
“Oh, it’s the real me, alright?“, Dean corrects him, “The new real me! The me that sees things for what they really are. Winchesters, do-gooders, fighting the natural order. Let me tell you something: Guys like me, we are the natural order. It’s the way it was set up.“  
Yeah, obviously. That’s why demons are suppressed by humans, even though they’re so superior.  
“Guys like me“, Sam replies, “Still gotta do what we can.“  
“Don’t be so full of yourself, Sammy.“ Dean sounds awfully confident for someone in his position. “You see, from where I’m sitting, there ain’t much different from what I turned into to what you already are.“  
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?“, Sam asks. I have no idea what Dean is talking about. I mean, okay, Sam fed on demon blood once and stuff, but that’s nothing compared to actually being a demon.  
Yeah, I read some more of the books.  
“I know what you did when you were looking for me“, Dean says, “And I know how far you went, Crowley told me all about it.“ He leans forward, as far as he can, being tied up and all that. “So let me ask you: Which one of us is really the monster, hm? Starting to come back to you now?“  
“Sam, what is he talking about?“, I ask and can’t help a concerned undertone. Is there something he’s not telling me, again?  
“Oh, Sammy was trying to locate Crowley and me from any demon he could snag“, Dean says before Sam can answer me himself and laughs, “But Crowley didn’t want to be found, and no one showed up when he summoned. But he found a way, didn’t you, Sam? You’d have like to have gotten before the deal went down, but you didn’t really care about poor old Lester, did you? Oh, and so you know, I killed Lester myself. And that wife of his married the tattooed guy.“  
“I never meant--“ Sam gets interrupted by Dean shouting.  
“Who cares what you meant?! That line that we thought was so clear between us and the things that we hunted ain’t so clear, is it? Wow, you might actually be worse than me! I mean, you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul. Nice work!“  
Dean’s chuckle gets stopped by Sam jabbing a syringe right into his neck and putting more blood into his brother before throwing it into a corner as soon as it’s empty. Dean grunts and yells, just as before.  
Let me piece this together.  
That Lester had a wife that married the tattooed guy. The way Dean phrased that, she cheated on Lester. Sam wanted to get ‘there‘ before the deal went down, and Dean said he ‘used‘ Lester, and it cost him his soul and his life, which Dean took, just so that Sam could get information about where Dean and Crowley are. That can only mean one thing:  
Sam tricked Lester into selling his soul to have a demon he could talk to. I can’t help but think about what Crowley said to me once, almost a year ago, after he told me to run from this life: ‘The Winchesters, they have a habit of using people up and watching them die bloody.‘  
“Let me ask you this, Sammy“, Dean says after the pain seems to have stopped, “If this doesn’t work, we both know what you gotta do to me, right? You got the stomach for that, Sam?!“ He shouts the last part.  
I watch Sam standing with his back to Dean. He’s breathing heavily, looking to the ground. I may have only seen him do it once when Dean ‘died‘, but I’m pretty sure he’s about to cry. Now I’m conflict with myself. I want to comfort him and tell me that we can still save Dean, but on the other hand, what Dean said shocked me, because it obviously was the truth, as Sam didn’t deny it, so Sam used Lester like an object, and now the man is dead and his soul’s in hell. I really don’t know how to react, I don’t know what to do. Sam apparently does, as he leaves the room and takes out his cellphone.  
“Cas?“, he says on the phone, “Are you still coming?“  
I watch Dean as Sam talks to Castiel, who promised he’d come and help us with Dean. Dean isn’t doing anything. He’s not even looking at me. To be honest, I like it this way. But why are his eyes closed…?  
“Sam!“, I shout.   
Sam rushes back into the room. He understands what’s going on in a heartbeat and slaps Dean, who’s unconscious, in the face, before shaking him.   
“Hey, come on, come back to me, hey! Dean!“  
Dean opens his eyes. He’s not dead, thank… whatever.  
“Dean, you okay?“, Sam asks, sounding highly concerned.  
“Yeah“, Dean mumbles, “If you can say that drowning in your own sweat while your blood boils is okay.“  
Sam slowly stands up straight again. “Look, I can’t stop this, alright?“  
“Sure you can, you just stop“, Dean says before Sam even ended his sentence, “There’s no point in trying to bring your brother back now.“  
“I will bring him back“, Sam says with confidence.   
“In fact“, Dean says, “Your guilt-ridden, weight-of-the-world bro has been MIA for quite some time now, but I’m loving the new model. Lean mean Dean“, he rhymes.  
“Right“, Sam says, but it doesn’t sound like he’s agreeing with Dean at all. Or, wait, is it still Dean? Did Dean turn? Is the demon like a second personality? I really don’t get it, but I won’t ask.  
“You noticed how I tried to get as far away from you as possible?“, Dean asks Sam, “Away from your whining, your complaining? I chose the King of Hell over you! Maybe I was just tired of babysitting, or always having to yank your lame ass out of the fire since forever. Or maybe… maybe it was the fact that my mother would still be alive if it wasn’t for you, that your very existence sucked the life out of my life.“  
“That’s not true“, I say. I mean, it really isn’t, what could Baby Sam have done about Azael? Why are we even listening to this crap?  
Sam forces a smile. “This isn’t my brother talking.“  
“You never had a brother“, Dean says loudly, “Just an excuse for not manning up, but guess what, I quit.“  
“No, you don‘t“, Sam demands, “You don’t get to quit, we don’t get to quit in this family, this family is all we ever had!“  
“Well, then we got nothing“, Dean replies.  
“Would you say that to Dad?“, Sam asks.  
“Dad?“ Dean chuckles. “Oh, here’s a prize: He’s a man who brainwashed us into wasting our lives fighting his losing battle.“ Sam takes another syringe with blood. “Oh. Is this you manning up?“  
“This“, Sam says while stepping closer to his brother again, “Is me yanking your lame ass out of the fire.“ He puts the blood into Dean’s arm. “You’re welcome.“  
I follow him as he leaves Dean alone in the dungeon.

Upstairs, Sam leaves through the left hallway parting from the Map room. I stay in the library, leaning against the table, and look at my watch to see when we’ll have to give Dean the next syringe of human blood. He said awful things, but the worst is that they all could be the truth or at least part of it. But I know that anger emerges from sadness or desperation. Whatever Dean says, it’s not what he actually means. Being a demon just took the positive from him, which usually is stronger than the negative. When you have enough positive with someone, then you ignore the negative, their flaws and their mistakes. And now, the positive is gone, so Dean only sees what someone who deeply hated Sam would see.

When Sam enters the Map room again, he looks like he calmed down a little bit. I follow him down the staircase.  
Wait, didn’t Sam close the archive’s door when we left?  
I take a look inside and freeze. The chair inside is empty.  
Dean’s gone.  
Sam adapts to the new situation as if he already planned it. He pulls me aside and takes his demon knife out of his pocket. “We gotta lockdown the bunker so he can’t get out“, he whispers, “Come on!“  
I follow him back to the Map room. I can hear my heart beating in my ears when I hear a door open and then close again, even though the sound is rather far away. Dean’s in here somewhere, and he has no conscience anymore.  
Sam takes a keyring out of one of the drawers in the Map room. The key to the technology center of the bunker is with it. Just when he hands the keyring to me so that he can hold his knife with both hands, something clanks.  
“Come on!“, Dean’s voice echoes from some distance, “Don’t you wanna hang out with your big brother, Sammy? Spend a little quality time…“  
Sam pulls me towards the right hallway parting from the Map room, the one directing to the technology center.

When we get there, I look through the key ring until I find the right one and unlock the door. Following Sam inside, I look around. There are machines with tons of buttons and levers. Sam pulls one of the bigger levers down.  
All the lights go out and are replaced with red emergency ones. An alarm echoes through the bunker.  
“Smart, Sam“, I can hear Dean shout. He sounds much closer than before. “Locking the place down. Doors won’t open, I get it, but here’s the thing: I don’t wanna leave, not ‘till I find you!“  
“Get here“, Sam tells me in a half-whisper, half-mumble voice as he walks towards the door again, “We‘ll trap him in here.“  
I nod and follow him.  
“You’re just making this worse for yourself“, Dean shouts. Okay, that’s much nearer. “Oh, and, Sam, by the way, you can, uh, blame yourself for me getting loose! All that blood you pumped into me to make me human? Well, the less demon I was, the less the cuffs worked! And that Devil’s Trap, well, I just walked right across it. It smarted, but still…“  
Sam hides around a corner, right in the next corridor. I lean against the wall next to him. Sooner or later, Dean will figure out that the only possibility to lock down the bunker is the very lever Sam just pulled. He’ll be here soon, probably step inside, and then we can lock the door and wait for Cas.

I don’t notice Dean entering the technological center, but what I do notice is that the alarm stops and that the normal lights of the bunker turn on again. Sam reacts immediately, he rushes around the corner, slams the door and locks it before tossing me the key ring. I catch and put it in my pocket.   
We got him. There’s nothing that could happen to us now.  
“That’s your big move?“, Dean asks from the other side of the door.  
Sam positions himself in front of the room, the knife ready in his hand. “Listen to me, Dean, we were getting close, okay? I know you’re still in there somewhere, just let me finish the treatments!“ No reply. “Dean?!“  
Suddenly, there’s a loud thump. And again, and then again. Wood splinters from the door. He’s breaking it! Sam takes a few steps backward.  
“You act like I wanna be cured!“, Dean says. I can see his face through the hole he made in the door. “But personally I like the disease!“  
“Dean, stop that!“, Sam shouts as Dean keeps hitting the door, which is breaking further, with something that might be a hammer, “Look, I don’t wanna use this blade on you!“  
Wait, give me a second… Dean is there, with a hammer, and with the burning desire to kill us both, and Sam was never able to do anything to his brother…  
Why aren’t we running?!  
“That sucks for you, doesn’t it?“, Dean asks, “But you really mean that!“ He laughs and hits the door again.  
“If you come out of that room, I won’t have a choice!“, Sam threatens, pulling me away from the breaking door.  
“Sure you will“, Dean replies and stops breaking the wood for a second. “And I know which one you’ll make, ain’t that right, Sammy? But see--“, he hits the door, “Here’s the thing: I’m lucky, oh hell, I’m blessed, because there’s just enough demon left in me that killing the kid right in front of your eyes before I do the same to you ain’t no choice at all!“  
Just before the door breaks completely, Sam pulls me with him and pushes me through the hallway.  
“Sammy!“, I can hear Dean shout somewhere behind us, “Come on, Sammy, let’s have a beer, talk about it. I’m tired of playing!“  
As I know for sure, Sam won’t kill his brother, and I couldn’t do that anyways, so our only chance left is holding out and play along until Castiel shows up.   
I sneak through the hallway in front of Sam. I don’t have a knife like he does, I don’t have a weapon at all. But, as creepy as it is, Dean said he was gonna kill me and make Sam watch, so maybe if we were separated, we would have a slightly bigger chance. I’d suggest that to Sam, but we have to be really quiet.  
“Let’s finish this game!“  
Dean sounds awfully close. When I reach the next turn, I press against the wall. Slowly, I look around the corner, and I notice Sam doing the same. Nobody’s there.  
But there’s something off.  
I turn to face Sam and start screaming. “Down!“  
We both duck as the hammer slams into the wall, right where Sam’s head was. Sam jumps up and holds the knife to Dean’s throat.  
“Well, look at that.“ Dean smiles and lets go of the hammer, which is stuck in the wall now. “Do it, it’s all you.“  
He can’t kill Dean. Not now, not ever. Sam takes a deep breath. Then, slowly, he lowers the knife.  
Dean smirks. His eyes go black as he takes a step towards us, and before either of us react, he grabs me, just the way he did when he asked me where I hid the First Blade back then, but this time, he slams me against the wall, headfirst.   
If this was a cartoon, I’d see stars. But, unfortunately, this isn’t a cartoon, so I just see black and hear a ringing sound while pain throbs through my head, as if waves of pain were hitting me. I barely notice that Sam shouts something and pulls me out of Dean’s grip.  
And then, Castiel is there. He puts his arms around Dean from behind as his eyes start glowing blue as I slowly start to see clearly again and the ringing sound gets less, but they get replaced with my head hurting freaking much.  
“It’s over“, he states.  
Dean growls and defends himself, but Cas doesn’t let go. Dean’s captured, and even though he sounds like a furious and hurt animal, we all do know it’s over.

Dean’s sitting in the chair in the dungeon, unconscious, only held up by the ropes restraining him, after Sam injected him human blood for the seventh time. I’m leaning against the doorframe again. Castiel healed me immediately after we got Dean tied up, and there’s nothing left of the pain, apart from the usual headache I have. I guess it’s because I’m not sleeping much, but I can live with that.  
“What are we doing to him, Cas?“, Sam asks, “Even after we gave him all that blood, he still said he didn’t wanna be cured, that he didn’t wanna be human.“  
“Well, I can see his point“, Cas replies, “You know, only humans can feel real joy, but… also such profound pain. This is easier.“  
Just when he says that Dean starts moving. I step a little closer. When he looks up, his eyes are pitch black, but the color starts fading away, leaving his eyes the way I know them, bright and green. Dean grunts before looking at us.  
“You look worried, fellas“, he says.  
That sounded different than before. I hand Sam some holy water, and he splashes it at his brother. Dean looks annoyed, but his skin doesn’t burn.  
Sam smiles.  
“Welcome back, Dean.“


	19. 10x3.5 - Truth hurts

Some people watch the grass grow, meanwhile I’m tying cherry strings into knots while waiting for the pie to be finished baking as I’m checking my to-do list. I already put the dirty clothes in the washing machine, everything else is optional. I sigh.   
When did my life become so free? Okay, free might not be the right word, you’re never literally free. For example, even though I don’t need to do all that stuff, I’m still not allowed to go on every hunt with Sam and Dean. They’re on one right now, without me. As far as I know, because Sam checked in per text a few times since they’ve been gone, it’s a shapeshifter. And that’s the reason why I wasn’t allowed to come: You have to shoot those, and I still can’t do that.   
The kitchen clock going off interrupts my train of thought. I put it off and stand up to go over to the oven, not without putting on the pair of baking gloves.   
When I bend down to take the pie out of the oven, a sharp pain shoots through my head, so bad that I tear up as the hot air blows into my face. I quickly pull the tray out of the oven and slam it down on the counter, then I rip the gloves off. With my hands pressed to my head, I slowly slide to the ground with my back to the next wall as the pain in the back of my head makes my face feel numb.   
I’ve been having this migraine-thing going on for over a month now, and I hate it so much that I can barely express it. I was thinking about asking the brothers for Ibuprofen, but then, I didn’t, because they’d just get overprotective. I usually sit it out, just like I do now.   
After the pain slowly faded, I keep my hands over my eyes for a bit longer. I ‘survived‘, and that’s giving me new energy. Vigorously, I wipe the tears off my face and get up again, adjusting my crinkled shirt even though nobody is around. At least I didn’t destroy the pie while slamming it down, I guess.   
Just when I put the pie away to cool down, one of the phones on the table starts to ring. I dig through the box, that I still carry around, until I find the one. I can’t tell who it is from the number, but that doesn’t matter anyways. I pick up.  
“Jones?“  
“Kid, it’s me.“  
“Hi, Dean.“ I can feel the smile forming on my face. “How’s it going?“  
“Pretty good. You?“  
“I’m good“, I say.  
Another voice comes through, from the background.   
“Dean, give me the phone.“  
“Dude, it’s mine-“  
“You’re gonna crash the car!“  
My smile gets even bigger and I chuckle. Sam and Dean may love each other, but they can’t stop arguing for their life.   
Dean sighs on the other end of the line. “We’re on our way back. See you in an hour or so.“  
“Cool, see you then.“  
Dean ends the call. While I put the phone back into the box, wondering which brother had the idea of calling me first, I think about what to do. I guess I shouldn’t start the pie until they’re here, and an hour is not enough to dust off the library books without having to interrupt, which I wouldn’t like. So what else is there to do?   
I could practice driving, as Dean taught me the basics, and risk crashing into a wall as I can’t leave the bunker all alone or without at least letting the boys know. Or… I could practice shooting. I guess I‘ll settle with that.

I actually use the earplugs this time, as loud noises might cause my headache to come back. I load the gun with the bullets that are lying around at the shooting range, they’re paintbullets as I’m the only one who actually comes down here to practice shooting.  
The target I choose is already splattered with red color, but as only, like, three of them are actually on the human shape itself, it won’t matter. I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a second, then I grab the gun, concentrating on the shape and imagining a werewolf instead. I breathe in. Then I shoot.  
Even though I’m wearing earplugs, the shot rings in my ears. My eye twitches, but I don’t flinch, apart from the recoil I try to stand up against. Breathing out, I put the gun down to see whether I hit, and come face-to-face with a hole in the target’s arm. Looks like that wasn’t a paint bullet.  
Whoops…?  
I stare at the gun in my hand as I think for a second. I only shot with paint because the brothers thought I’d do something stupid with actual bullets. Well, it’s been almost a year and I didn’t, so, whatever, right?  
I lift the gun, breathe and shoot, and a second time directly afterward, before putting the gun down again. I do be getting closer though- I hit the shoulder and the upper arm. A slight undertone of pain sneaks back into my head, but, okay, there’s nothing I can do about it anyway. Or can I…?  
I take the earplugs out and plug my earphones into my phone instead, choosing a random playlist to listen to before I take the gun again. Centuries by Fall Out Boy starts blasting, and when I shoot the next few times, I hear the shots only half as loud as before. It’ll probably destroy my sense of hearing, but who needs that anyways, right?

Just when I hit the shape’s collarbone for once, a slight ringing in my ear, probably because I’m listening to Shake It Off on a volume that you should never listen to Shake It Off to, there’s a sudden movement next to me.   
I jump and reflexively point the gun at the someone there.  
“Hey, it’s me!“ Sam lifts his empty hands.   
I pull my earphones out and put the gun on the counter, careful to not make it go off.  
“Hi Sam“, I say. He looks a little tired, but he’s not visibly hurt. “So the hunt went well?“  
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he stares at me with something in his facial expression that I can’t read.  
“Sam?“, I ask carefully, “Are you okay?“  
“What’s with your nose?“, he asks, sounding worried.  
I lift my hand to touch my nose, only to find it bleeding. Not again…  
“Oh, that.“ I take a tissue out of my pocket to clean the blood up. “I guess I didn’t sleep that well last night.“ That’s only half of the truth, but, as I said, I don’t want them to get overprotective just because a few nosebleeds, I’ll figure that out myself. Sam looks at me, still worried and a little… sad? “It’s just this super weird dream“, I try to reassure him. Again with half-lies- I do have weird dreams that keep me up at night.  
“Oh.“ Sam looks like he’s believing me.  
“What’s going on here?“ Dean enters the shooting range, a plate with cherry pie in his hands and bloodstains on his plaid.   
“Oh come on, I just turned on the washing machine“, I say, a little annoyed.  
Dean mumbles something about who needs a washing machine anyways, then he eats some pie. “You made this, huh?“ I nod. “It’s awesome.“  
“Mila, what is this?“, Sam interrupts. I turn around to see him pointing at the target, which is holed by the bullets I shot. “I thought we agreed on paint!“  
“Uh…“ I search for a good explanation and settle with the truth. “I took the wrong bullets on accident and figured I needed to start with real ones at some point, right?“  
“I… guess.“ Sam doesn’t look convinced.  
Dean steps closer to inspect the target. “You still got the weapon accuracy of a stormtrooper, but you’re getting better.“  
“Miss me with ‘weapon accuracy‘, you don’t know what I’m shooting at“, I joke.   
The brothers chuckle, then Sam clears his throat. “Actually, there’s something we have to show you.“  
“Really?“, I ask, “What is it?“   
“Upstairs“, Dean adds.   
Wow, they’re really trying to make me curious. They don’t say another word as I follow them upstairs, fiddling with my necklace and fighting the headache back.  
When we get to the library, Sam takes something out of one of the bags lying on the table. I back away a little, whereas Dean just eats his pie. It’s a freaking skull!  
“Sam, what the hell?“  
“Here, take it“, Sam says.  
“I’m not touching that“, I reply.  
“Just take it“, Dean says with his mouth full.  
Reluctantly, I take the skull. It’s completely clean, apart from…  
“Oh…“   
I can’t help but express my interest as I notice a piece of flesh hanging from where the skull would technically be connected to the spine.   
“We found this at the police department, together with the other evidence for the case, but nobody could tell us where it’s from“, Sam explains while I inspect the skull, “We thought that maybe-“  
“Humanoid“, I state without letting him finish, watching the skull closely, “At least I think it is.“  
“What?“ Dean looks surprised and a little confused, the almost empty plate still in his hands.  
“Humanoid“, I repeat, “Even though it has horns and the jaw is way too long…“  
“No, I mean-“  
I grin. “You thought I’d be disgusted? This is a monster’s bone, it’s awesome!“  
Dean and Sam look at each other, and Sam shrugs.  
“Well then“, Dean says with a little smile, “How about you find out where it came from and we get some sleep?“  
“Great idea, you look like crap.“ Dean just looks at me like I’m crazy. “I’m kidding! Just go to bed, okay?“  
Sam nods and yawns, then the boys leave the library with their bags.  
I put the skull down on the table and look around the shelves. I’ll need some stuff on anatomy. Sadly, as far as I know, the books are divided by monsters, not their species classes. So I’ll need my notebooks and maybe something on human anatomy.  
I quietly go to my bedroom, careful not to disturb Sam and Dean, and take the notebook from my desk in which I wrote down the lists of what’s in which room in the bunker, and also grab the other few that I filled with knowledge about monsters. The human-anatomy-books seem to be in the, as I titled it, ‘macabre-section‘ of the bunker. I unroll the huge map I made of the bunker a few months ago and memorize the way.  
While I head there, I already skip through the notebooks‘ pages. I’ve only been to the macabre-section once while exploring. There are a few rooms, a little like the ward, but less… modern, to put it in a nice way. There are weird syringes and other equipment lies around, and the operation tables have hand and feet restrainments on the sides. It’s so weird and a little scary, but also interesting. That’s why I called it ‘macabre‘- or maybe I’m the macabre one for calling it interesting in the first place.  
Anyways, I open the door to the first room that looks like a waiting room at a doctor’s. There are no plants, of course, as there would be nobody to water them, and everything is so clean and white that it almost looks unnatural. I walk past the white chairs and open the door on the opposite wall, which is white and empty, too. I come up in another room that I titled ‘The doctor’s office‘ on the map. I ignore the files on the desk and walk past it towards the bookshelves behind the chair. On the right, there’s a door with a window that leads to the operation room. I ignore that, too, and look through the books until I find two about anatomy that look promising.  
I take those back to the library, where the skull is sitting on the table. For further inspection, I look at it again. I think I was right, it’s definitely humanoid. It has horns about the skull’s length itself, but they don’t look so heavy. Lucky for whoever this was, elsewise his or her head would have been dragging over the floor. 

After some research, I can be relatively sure that it’s a male skull. Also, the horns and long jaw make it look like the skull a something between reptile and goat, but there are no animals that look like that. I’m certain that this is the skull of a monster, but I don’t know which one yet. Weirdly enough, there’s something wrong with the horns- They’re coming through the skullcap like hair would, but the bottom of the horns is under the skullcap. Usually, the horns are attached to the top of the skullcap. There is no indication of the cause of death on the skull, and the little piece of flesh didn’t give me anything, either. So what does that leave me with? I think, and look through some more books, and think again. Then, it hits me. The only thing that would make sense is the following:   
A dragon that got killed mid-transformation!  
I’ve never seen a dragon before, but I know that they’re able to switch between their human and dragon form however they like. Someone killed a dragon in that town! But who? It has to be a hunter, but a hunter would’ve killed the shapeshifter before it became so popular that Sam and Dean heard from it, too…  
I leave the library and quickly walk down the hallway towards the bedrooms, Sam’s first. I carefully knock and wait for a response, casually checking my nose for blood with my left hand, as the other one’s holding the skull. After a few seconds, Sam opens. He looks a little better, and he’s wearing some clean clothes.  
“What?“  
“I found something“, I say and lift the skull a little, “I’ll get Dean, can you go to the library already?“  
Sam nods and leaves as I walk towards Dean’s room and knock.   
“Yeah?“, comes the answer from inside.  
I open the door to see Dean in a grey shirt, just taking a clean plaid out of his closet and putting it on. I see a glimpse of the Mark of Cain, but I ignore it.  
“Can we meet in the library? I found something.“  
“‘kay, let’s go.“  
I walk in front of him back to the library, where Sam is waiting next to the table on which I put all the research stuff. He‘s looking at one of my opened notebooks but looks up when we enter, looking caught.  
“I wasn’t-“  
“I don’t care, really“, I interrupt him, “Take a look at this.“ I lift the skull again so that they both can see. “I think this is the skull of a dragon.“  
The boys look a little surprised.   
“Didn’t you say it’s humanoid?“, Dean asks.  
“The skull of a dragon mid-transformation“, I correct myself, “See how the horns aren’t fully sitting on the skullcap and how it looks like reptile, goat, and human at the same time?“  
“Wow. Okay.“ Sam takes the skull from me to look at it from every side. “And how did it die?“  
“I don’t know.“ I shrug. “There’s no indication.“  
Sam and Dean look at each other.   
“So there was another hunter around“, Dean deduces, “But why didn’t they kill the shapeshifter, too?“  
Sam shrugs. “Guess we’ll have to go back.“  
Dean nods and leaves the library, followed by Sam after he gave me the skull back. I sigh and put it down on the table.   
“Kid?“ I look up to see Dean poking his head back into the library. “You coming, or what?“  
I smile. “On my way!“  
I close all the books on the table. I won’t be able to take them all with me, nor will I have the time to put them back. I’ll just do that when we’re back, I guess. So I just take my notebooks and the skull, then I half-walk, half-jump to my room. Finally, I can go on a hunt again!   
When I get to my bedroom, I take the bag that’s lying next to my desk and is packed with clean clothes- just in case. I put my notebooks and the skull in, too. There are a silver knife and some basic stuff in it as well, like hex-bags for protection that I built with the help of some books, a can of spray paint, salt and holy water. I take my jacket, which is hanging on the hook on the wall next to the door. While putting it on, I notice the black tattoo on my forearm, again. You’d think that after almost two years, I’d be over it, but even though I know about the protection it’s granting me, I just wish it could’ve been smaller or somewhere not so obvious.  
When I get back to the library, Sam is already waiting. After a minute, Dean comes in, too, with his bag and something else, which he tosses over to me. Out of reflex, I catch. “Dean…?“, I ask, looking at the gun in my hands.  
“You said you were shooting with real bullets, right?“ Dean shrugs. “Time for you to learn how to kick a rebel’s ass.“  
I chuckle at the reference and look at Sam for confirmation, who nods. I put the gun in my bag, and Sam lifts up his from the table, too.  
“Let’s go.“

“Agent Barrett, Agent Wright“, the Sheriff greets us. He’s tall and looks about fifty years old, and once again I feel very small. “Who’s this?“  
“Dr. Waters with the FBI“, Dean says as I show the officer the fake badge he gave me.  
The officer shakes my hand. “I’m Sheriff Theodore Parks, Head of the department. How can I help you?“  
“We’re back for the skull“, Sam explains, “Dr. Waters thinks there might be something going on. Can we take another look at the evidence of the case we were here for?“  
“Sure“, Parks says, “Follow me.“  
He guides us through the crowded office to the back room. For a small town in Nebraska, they sure have a lot of officers. Once we got to the room and Sam closed the door behind us, Parks pulls a box out of a shelf and puts it on the table in the middle of the room.  
“Here you go“, he says, “I have something else going on right now, so I’ll send someone else in to help you, okay?“  
Dean nods, and Parks leaves the room as I take the box’s top off. Inside, there are some files and more stuff in plastic bags. I sit down at the table with Sam, Dean leans against the shelf behind us. When I take the first file out, the door opens again. In comes a young dude, only a few years older than me, with short dark hair. He looks at us, one by one.  
“Hello, Agents“, he greets us. He looks a little nervous.  
“Are you an intern?“, Dean asks. I roll my eyes. That wasn’t very nice of him.  
“No, sir, I’ve been working here for a year now“, he says, “My name’s Chester Johnson.“  
“Officer“, I point at the file in my hand, “This victim file has no cause of death in it, why’s that?“  
“You haven’t even told me your name yet“, he says.   
“We don’t need to tell you our names“, Dean clarifies roughly, “Answer the question.“  
Chester looks a little intimidated. “There should be a note in there somewhere.“  
I look through the file. There’s nothing written by hand, only printed texts and photos. “I don’t see it.“  
“Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.“  
I look up at the brazen answer, as well as Sam. Chester looks arrogant at first, but then his cheeks go slightly pink and he comes around to stand behind me.   
“I’m sorry“, he apologizes and puts his hand over my shoulder to look through the file himself. “Huh. I could have sworn…“  
“Yeah, well, you were wrong“, Dean says loudly and walks over to where Chester’s standing. The boy backs away immediately.  
“Here it is“, Sam says and holds up a piece of paper with a list on it, “All the witnesses.“  
“I’ll make a copy of it“, I say, stand up and take it.  
“I’ll show you where the printer is“, Chester quickly offers.  
I try not to roll my eyes. Even if I weren’t pretending to be FBI, his behavior would be terribly rude. “Fine.“  
I follow him out of the room, which Sam and Dean leave, too, to talk to Sheriff Parks again.   
“Here it is“, Chester says and points at the printer in the corner of the office.  
I open it and put the paper in, then I press a few buttons, careful not to push the wrong ones and make a mess.  
“Could you hurry up a little?“, Chester says impatiently.  
I look up and notice that he’s standing a little close to me. I ignore the urge to punch him or at least step away. “Excuse me?“  
“You’ve heard me.“  
Okay, two can play that game. “For your sake, I hoped I did not.“  
Chester does that thing where you heavily breathe out of your nose if something is funny. “Please, if you’re already FBI, I’m the Queen of England.“  
“Well then, Your Majesty“, I scoff and take the copy as well as the original paper out of the printer, “I advise you to leave the FBI alone.“   
I walk past him without paying any more attention to this idiot. Sam and Dean are waiting for me with Sheriff Parks.  
“You can give me that, I’ll bring it back“, Parks says when I reach them and looks at the paper in my hand.   
“Thanks“, I say, hand him the original and Sam the copy.  
“Well, see you, Sheriff“, Dean says. Then, we leave the building and walk towards the car. I look at my watch. It’s 8 pm, and already getting dark.  
“Stacy Cole, Arya Farmer, Kaleb Warren, and AJ Hyde“, Sam reads out the list, “We can visit them tomorrow.“  
“Fine“, Dean says and unlocks the car so that he can open the front door, “Who’s up for dinner?“  
“Nice“, I say as I get in the car, “Where?“  
“I saw a diner“, Sam says, “Not that far away.“  
“It’s decided, then.“ Dean starts up the engine and drives off the parking lot.

“See you then“, I say as Sam stands up and leaves the diner.  
Dean left half an hour ago to get a drink, and Sam said he wanted to research some more, so now I’m at the diner, on my own with my tea. Maybe I should get some sleep, too, as my headache started again, really bad this time, and my ears are slightly ringing. But I kinda wanna stay for a little longer, it’s rather pretty here for a diner in a small town. Apart from me and a waitress, there’s just another girl sitting in the corner, alone as well. She seems to be in her mid-twenties, and she has long blonde hair that she put up in a ponytail.   
The diner’s door opens behind me. I don’t even look up- why would I- until the someone who came in sits down opposite of me. It’s Chester Johnson.  
“Is there a reason you’re annoying me or are you doing it for fun?“, I ask coldly. I don’t want him here, especially not at my table, and I’m not in the mood. Though I doubt I’d be in the mood without my headache, either.  
Chester smiles. It looks like he tries to be decent, but he still looks arrogant.  
“I think we were off to a bad start“, he begins, “Hi, my name’s Chester.“   
He holds out his hand, and against my desire to leave, I shake it. He holds on for a little too long before letting go.  
“I’m Dr. Agent Waters“, I repeat my fake name. Chester laughs, which I find unfitting for the situation.  
“Come on, I told you my first name, now you have to tell me yours.“  
“I don’t have to do anything“, I say and cross my arms, leaning back a little. And, I mean, that’s true.  
Chester leans forward. “Come on, I know you want it.“  
Huh? “Want what?“  
“You know what.“  
“Given the way you say that I’m glad I don’t.“  
I honestly have no idea, except if he’s talking about… Ew. No.   
Chester laughs again. “Well, maybe I’ll just have to show you then.“  
“I’d rather not“, I reply, as polite as I can in this situation.  
“Abby? Is that you?“ I look up to see that the girl from the other table came over to us. “Oh my, I can’t believe it, it’s you!“  
She sits down next to me. Do I know her…?  
“And you are?“, she asks Chester, who looks confused and disappointed.  
“Oh, um… I was just about to leave… Bye…?“ He stands up and leaves the diner.  
The girl stands up. “What a creep.“ She laughs at my facial expression. “Sorry for bothering you.“  
“Wait“, I say quickly as she turns around, “You just rescued me!“ I laugh, too. “Thank you very much. Would you like to sit here?“  
She smiles and nods. “Sure!“ She goes back to her table, gets her cup and then sits down opposite me, right where Chester was sitting a minute ago.   
“I’m Mila“, I say and take a sip of my tea.  
“Arya“, she says with a smile.  
My head shoots up. “Arya? As in Arya Farmer?“  
She looks surprised. “Yes… Wait, you said you were an agent, right? Have you seen my list on the latest case?“  
I nod. “My colleagues and I were going to visit you tomorrow. What a coincidence!“  
“Really?“, Arya asks, then she shakes her head, laughing. “You call the police once and you never hear the end of it.“  
“Why did you call the police, though?“, I ask.  
“Oh, that.“ Arya takes a sip of her drink. “I saw someone lying on the side of the road and called the police.“  
“Anything else?“  
“No, that’s all.“  
We sit in silence for a moment.   
“Thanks for saving me, again“, I say then.  
Arya smiles. “No problem. Wasn’t that Chester Johnson?“ I nod. “He’s been annoying every girl ever since he moved here, shortly before I did.“  
“For how long have you lived here, then?“  
“About two years now. It took some time to arrange myself, but it worked out really well, I love this little town.“ Arya sighs and looks out of the window into the dark sky. “I thought I’d miss my home, but I’m glad that I’m here instead.“  
I don’t question her any further. I guess if she wanted to talk about it, she would.  
“By the way“, Arya says, “Have you heard of…“  
At the moment she starts talking again, a really bad pain goes through my head like lightning, leaving it throbbing. I flinch and everything goes black for a second. When I can see again, I notice Arya looking at me. From what I can put together in my hurting head, I think she’s worried.  
“Are you okay?“ She sounds as if she was talking through water, together with the ringing.  
I stand up, one hand at my head, and fiddle with my pocket until I get some money out. Without counting, I put it on the table.   
“I’m just… tired“, I lie as I stumble backward, “See you tomorrow…“  
I open the door and step into cold air. I memorized the way to the motel, and it’s not that far, but every step sends sharp pain through my head.   
After what feels like an eternity, I finally reach the motel. I almost crash against the door to our room, then I knock.  
I don’t notice who opens the door as I tumble inside and almost fall over. Every few seconds, my vision goes black for a moment. Someone catches me and holds me up. Contrary to the words, the sound of the door closing is clear and sharp.  
“Mila? Hey, what is it?!“   
I blink a few times and realize it’s Sam. I want to answer, but I can’t form any words.  
“Sammy, what’s going on?“ Dean appears in my field of vision. “Damn it…“  
Again, I try to say something. Instead, I lose consciousness.

When I open my eyes, I’m in my room in the bunker. Damn it, I really wanted to go on that hunt! If it weren’t for the stupid headache… Now I’ve got the brothers worried!  
I stand up from the bed. I’m still fully clothed- as usual, why would you put something else on for only sleeping a few hours? But, damn, did I have a weird dream. I look around my room, but everything is normal… No. Something’s out of place.   
On my desk, there’s a metal box with a lock. It’s about my forearm’s size and looks clean and unused. I lift it up and shake it a little. There’s a single item in there, and it’s rather heavy, but not metal-like. I look around again, but there’s no key. Then, I hear someone shouting.  
“Kid!“  
It’s Dean. He sounds furious, but as if he was trying to suppress the anger in his voice. Did I break something? Did I do anything at all? I try to remember, but I can’t.  
“Mila, where are you?“  
Dean sounds a little closer. I fiddle with the box. I bet there’s something important in there…   
Wait.  
The First Blade is in that box! Sam locked it in there and told me to keep it away from Dean- How could I forget that?!  
I open the door with my free hand and then slam it shut immediately after, leaning against it. The King of Hell, Crowley, is in front of my room. How the hell did he get in here?!  
“Duckling, come on“, his voice comes from the other side of the door, snarky and with the accent as always.  
For a few seconds, in which I lock the door and step away from it, it’s all quiet.  
Then, the wood blasts, making my stumble backward.  
I fall for a few seconds in complete darkness, then I land in the hallway. My ears are ringing and my head hurts. The box with the First Blade drops out of my hand and from where I’m lying, I can see it slide across the ground until it stops at someone’s feet. It’s Dean, and he picks the box up. I sit up as the box vanishes in his hands and unveils the First Blade, which he grips tight. I scoot away, still on the floor, as he lifts it up and his eyes go black. He smiles, but it’s more like an evil smirk than anything else.  
The walls of the hallway fall backward as if they were made out of cardboard and disappear, suddenly it’s freezing cold and dark and I’m in an alley. Dean bursts like a soap bubble. I look around and see the Impala and Sam lying on the ground. I try to run towards him, but a pair of handcuffs hold me back. They’re binding me to a lamp post.  
Behind me, I hear weird noises, a bit like coughing, and when I look, everything around me disappears.   
I’m in solid darkness, which continues endlessly. There’s nothing around me, but I can still see what’s happening right in front of me. On the undefined ground, there’s Dean, bloody and beaten up, leaning against the air as if there was a wall or something. The handcuffs are gone, so I try to walk towards him, but there’s an invisible wall separating us by just a few steps. I hit it, but it doesn’t do anything. Someone appears in front of Dean, it‘s Metatron, with an angel blade in his hands. As I hit the wall again, a building materializes around them, and I recognize the warehouse Metatron stabbed Dean in. No, that can’t be right… How can I know that when it’s just now happening…? I watch the scene, and I know that I’m crying, but I can’t feel tears, and my sight doesn’t blur, because I don’t actually have a body… Because this isn’t real.  
I’m dreaming.  
I try to pinch myself to wake up, but I can’t feel it, because I’m not there anymore, because I don’t feel physical pain in my head. I narrow my eyes, that are technically not there as I don’t have a body right now, and try to wake up as Metatron vanishes and leaves me alone with Dean’s corpse that’s staring at the non-existent ceiling with dead eyes. Usually, I wake up from my nightmares no later than when I notice that things don’t make sense, but this time, I don’t. I try to touch the wall again to make my brain realize that it’s not real, but it’s gone. I rush towards Dean’s corpse and kneel down next to him. His eyes are cloudy and he’s bloody, even more now than he actually was back then. But when I try to touch him, he disappears.   
I stand up again, all alone now in the darkness, trying to find something to kill myself with, because I know that I’d wake up as soon as I die. Wow, that sounded dark. I walk around, but nothing changes, until…  
“Did you notice anything being a little off about Dean lately? Just between us, we’re worried about him.“  
I turn, so fast that I almost lose my balance. For a second, I thought there was something behind me, but there’s nothing. I could’ve sworn…  
“Don’t worry about Dean. Dean will be fine.“  
I turn again. This time, I catch a glimpse of two persons standing a little bit away, but they disappear before I can make them out, even though I know who they are. I run over to where Sam and Kevin were just standing and look around.   
For a few seconds, nothing happens. Then, the screams start.  
No matter which direction I look, up, down, there’s nothing to see, and they don’t get louder or quieter at any point. Kevin’s screams just won’t stop. I crouch down and press my hands to my ears, eyes closed, as I’m trying to tell myself that it’s not real, he’s already dead, he’s a ghost, I talked to him…!  
And then, it just stops. Everything just stops.

I’m lying on something soft, and I can hear someone walking on a wooden floor and the slight buzzing noise of an air conditioner. Also, my face feels weird, salty as if I had been crying, and everything under my nose feels slightly wet like recently washed or at least cleaned. Still, there seem to be dry stains... Dried blood, maybe? Furthermore, I’m having the feeling that someone is watching me. All of that can only mean one thing: I’m not dreaming anymore. I take a deep breath and smell slightly musty air.  
“Mila? Hey, are you awake?“  
I slowly open my eyes.  
I’m in the motel room, lying in one of the beds, still fully clothed. Bright sunlight shines through the gap between the yellowish-white curtains. Sam is sitting next to me, looking worried, but he smiles. I hear steps again, and when I look, it’s Dean, with a similar expression as Sam. They’re still wearing their FBI clothes. I sit up and lean against the bed’s headpiece, trying to sort out what’s going on. The memory comes back just now. I stumbled in here… Yesterday? And then I just- Black…  
“The hell did you do?“, Dean asks. I have to correct myself about the similar expressions, he’s a little angrier than Sam. “Thought you drank too many shots, but no alc on you- so what else?“  
“I don’t know…“, I mumble, touching one of the small bloodstains on my face. “How long was I out?“  
“You came in here around midnight“, Sam says and looks at his watch, “It’s 1 pm.“  
“1 pm?“, I ask unbelievingly. Sam nods. Damn, I’ve never slept that long, not even when I went to sleep in the middle of the night.  
“So what happened?“, Dean interrupts my thoughts, “You’ve taken any, you know, drugs?“  
“Why would I take drugs?“ I get up from the bed. I expected to be kind of wobbly, but I’m feeling completely normal. Wait, no, still with the headache.  
Sam looks at me like I’ve gone crazy and stands up, hands facing me as if he was ready to catch me if I fell again.  
“What, we’re just going to pretend nothing happened?“, he asks.  
“Of course not.“ Dean looks me in the eyes. “What. Did. You. Do?“  
“I don’t know“, I repeat, looking for a mirror to clean my face properly. I actually don’t know, but I also don’t want the brothers to worry about that. “I guess I just… needed some sleep?“  
Dean chuckles without any happiness. “You better stop lying. You came in here with so much blood on you that I thought you got into a fistfight.“  
“You were shaking“, Sam adds, “As if you wanted to wake up, but couldn’t.“  
I sigh. Looks like there’s no other way to get out of this now.

“And you never even thought of telling us?!“, Sam asks indignantly.  
I stare at the wooden floor. “I’m sorry…“  
Dean crosses his arms and leans back in the chair. He’s sitting left to me, as I sat back down on the bed and Sam sits opposite of me on another bed. “So, what, you’ve been having these crappy headaches all the time? Why?“  
I shake my head. “I have no clue.“  
Sam sighs. “We’ll need to get you to a doctor’s.“  
“Dude.“ Dean scratches the back of his head. “I know I wasn’t around when it happened, but that lightning-prophet-thing changed her soul and who knows what else, Gadreel said it.“  
“Crowley too“, I add, remembering that really scary time in the bunker. Something similar happened in my dream as well.   
“Okay, what else?“, Sam asks. That’s a question I can answer.  
“We talk to the witnesses and try to find out who the mystery-dragon-killer is“, I say.   
“I was talking about your headache.“  
“What else are we supposed to do if I can’t go see a doctor?“  
Sam sighs, but he doesn’t say anything else. Dean stands up and picks up a piece of paper lying on the table, the list of witnesses.   
“Four people, Stacy Cole’s first.“  
I stand up, as well as Sam, and grab my bag which is standing right next to my bed, wiping my face with my sleeve as I do. As we will be posing as FBI, I’ll need to put on some other clothes, because I wore these yesterday and they’re wrinkly from sleeping in them.   
“Wow, wow, wow“, Dean puts his arms out to stop me from walking into the bathroom, “Where do you think you’re going?“  
“Change?“, I reply and tuck at the collar of my shirt. When I look down, I notice that there are dried stains of blood on it. One more reason to change, I guess. “Who’s gonna take me for an investigator when I look like a killer?“  
“You don’t look like a killer, you look like you lost at paintball.“  
I roll my eyes and try to walk past Dean, but now Sam speaks up.  
“You’re not coming with us.“  
I slowly turn around. “Seriously?“  
Sam and Dean nod in unison.   
“Why?“  
Sam takes my bag out of my hand and gently pushes me back towards the bed. “You basically just woke up, you can’t just go on with the case now. You need to rest!“  
I cross my arms. “That’s not fair!“  
“Are you having a headache right now?“, Dean asks.  
I choose not to answer and sit down on the bed instead because the truth would be Yes, even though just a little.  
The brothers look at each other, then they take their jackets, bags, and keys. Before they leave our motel room, Dean points at me.  
“Rest. We’ll pick you up later.“  
I nod, then they leave. After the door closed, I stand up and take my bag from the table where Sam put it. I’d like to shower and change, whether it’s for a case or just for me. So I pick some clothes and a towel and also my phone, just in case. Then I enter the bathroom, lock the door behind me and undress to shower.

When I’m done, the bathroom’s slightly steamy, even though the air vent is really doing everything it can. I put on fresh clothes and take the hairdryer out of the cupboard. Luckily there’s one here because I didn’t bring my own. I blow-dry my hair and do my best to not make it look like a couple of pigeons built their nest on my head. After I am happy with the result, I take the old clothes, unlock the door and leave the bathroom. The motel room may not be freezing, but in comparison to the bathroom, it’s a little cold. The sudden change of temperature makes me dizzy and I have to hold on to the door frame and wait until my vision’s not darkening anymore. When I’m fine again and take the first step back to my bag to put the stained clothes in it, a very loud ringing goes through my head. It hurts because it’s so loud, and I instinctively drop my clothes and press my hands to my ears. But that doesn’t block it out, of course, because it’s inside of my head and not actually a noise. I stumble forward and against one of the chairs, holding on to it, and try to take deep breaths. It’s all in my head… It’s just my head…  
As fast as the ringing came, it stops, leaving me with a pounding head and a weird feeling at my nose. Oh no, don’t tell me… I wipe my face with the back of my hand. When I look at it, there’s blood, again. Annoyed, I go to the sink in the bathroom and wash my hands and face. Luckily, nothing got on my clothes. Still, it’s so crappy. Why the hell does this happen? Is there really nothing I can do about it?  
I stare into my reflection in the mirror, and my brown eyes stare back. I wait for the headache to stop, but it doesn’t. The pounding just stops, but it’s still there, annoying me. I go back to the main room, picking up the clothes I dropped while doing so, and put them back into my bag. Then I take my headphones and look through the small bookshelf. There’s not much, but I find an old copy of Harry Potter in the back of the lowest shelf. As there’s not much to hate about it, I take it, put on my headphones and sit down on the bed to read until the boys are back.

Just as Harry looks into the Mirror of Erised for the very first time, I can see a movement from the corner of my eye. I look up and take the headphones off as I realize it’s Dean and Sam entering the motel room. I look at the clock. I was so caught up in the story that I didn’t even realize it took them almost three hours to come back.  
“Hey guys“, I greet them.  
“Hi.“ Sam closes the door behind him and Dean takes off his jacket. I put the book down.  
“Something wrong?“ I can’t help but sound a little worried.   
“Yeah, just“, Sam smiles, “Stacy Cole really likes hearing herself talk.“  
“You could almost say she loves it“, Dean adds annoyed.  
I nod and can’t help but smile, too. It’s kinda funny how they can deal with big problems like ghosts and demons but almost reach their limit with a certain type of person. “But did you get anything from it?“  
Sam sighs and takes out his notebook. I stand up and walk over, and he hands it to me.   
“Harry Potter? Seriously?“ I look up and see Dean, who picked up the book from where I put it on the bedside table. He looks at the page I was reading when they came in.  
“Why not?“, Sam defends my choice.  
“I show not your face but your heart’s desire“, I quote. It’s the hidden message that you get when you read what’s carved into the mirror backward.  
Dean looks at the page again, so I get my attention back to the notebook. Skipping through what Sam wrote down, I try to remember everything I read in the case’s files back in the police office. “I don’t think there’s anything new to this.“  
Sam nods and I give him his notebook back, which he puts into his pocket.  
“Well“, Dean closes the book and puts it back on the bedside table, “We still have three others left.“  
He puts his jacket back on. Sam looks at me. “You ready?“  
“Yep“, I grab my jacket, too.  
“No headache?“  
I wait with my reply for a heartbeat too long because I get distracted by the pain that just got a little more. “Nope.“  
“Fine then.“  
I put the jacket on and follow the boys out of the room and to the parking lot where the car awaits us.   
As always, Dean drives, Sam rides shotgun and I’m in the back.   
“Who’s next on the list?“, Dean asks as he starts the engine and pulls out of the parking lot.  
“Arya Farmer“, I say immediately, “Then Kaleb Warren and AJ Hyde.“  
“You know where-“, Sam starts, but Dean interrupts him.  
“Course I do, there are only four!“

We drive for only ten minutes until we reach a suburban neighborhood with pretty, but ordinary houses. Dean parks in front of Number 27, which doesn’t differ much from the others. We walk up the driveway to the front door. I adjust my blouse and check my pocket for the fake badge I already used yesterday- even though it probably won’t be necessary, as I met Arya already, also she probably remembers Sam and Dean from when they worked the shapeshifter-case, given that was only a few days ago. Dean rings the doorbell, and after a few seconds, the door opens. The brothers hold up the fake badges, and I quickly do the same.  
“Hello, Ms. Farmer“, Sam says to Arya, who is standing in the doorframe, “You surely remember us, we just need to go over a few more things. This is our partner-“  
“Dr. Agent Waters“, Arya interrupts and smiles at me, stepping aside. “Come on in!“  
We follow her through the hallway.  
“Can I get you guys something to drink?“, Arya asks as we enter the living room. It’s really nice and bright. I have no idea how much money she earns and it’s none of my business, but she bought a really house from it. I wonder if I’ll have a home like this, too. Maybe someday.   
“Water would be great“, Sam says and smiles.  
Arya nods. “Give me a second.“ She leaves the room.  
The brothers immediately turn around to me.  
“How does she know your fake name?“, Sam asks in a volume that is just quiet enough that Arya won’t hear us.  
“We met yesterday, in the diner“, I quickly explain, “That Johnson guy was creeping around and she bailed me out.“  
“What did he do?“, Dean asks in a demanding voice.  
“Geez, Dean, he was just being creepy, he didn’t do anything!“   
This is just what I was missing in this great situation of Dean being overprotective- a nice and strong headache.  
“What do you mean by ‘creepy‘?“, Sam asks. He sounds calmer than Dean, but he still looks like he’s ready to kill someone. To be fair, I think he’s always ready to kill someone.  
“I don’t know“, I think for a moment, “Just… Bothering me with his stupidness, asked me weird stuff, whatever.“  
“Did he harass you or something?“, Dean asks, “Because if he-“  
“No, he didn’t!“  
In that moment, Arya comes back to the living room with some water, so we can’t continue our conversation, which comes in handy for me. Arya points to a sofa and some chairs by the TV.   
“Sit down“, she invites.  
We do as she said, and she sits down as well and puts the water on a small coffee table. I take a glass and drink something. The water is cold and refreshing, but it doesn’t help my headache as much as I hoped it would.  
“As I said“, Sam starts, “There are still some things left to talk about, Ms. Farmer, if that’s okay with you.“  
“Sure.“ Arya shrugs. “You gotta help the police wherever you can, right?“  
Sam smiles. “Right. So, when you called 911, what did you see?“  
“I was mostly focused on the dead body.“ Arya thinks for a second. “I think there was a deer down the road, but I couldn’t really make it out, as it was dark and I was halfway panicking.“  
“Okay“, Sam says, “And when-“  
Dean’s phone starts ringing. Sam stops talking and looks at his brother with a face that says ‘Are you serious?‘  
Dean stands up. “I’ll just go get this.“  
As he walks to talk in the hallway rather than the living room, he picks up and I overhear the beginning of the conversation.   
“Wright?“, Dean starts with his fake name. “Oh, Cas… Is that supposed to be a joke?...No, but the Dead usually doesn’t walk… We’re on a case, buddy, can we talk about that- …No!“  
His voice fades as he fully leaves the room. I might be mistaken, but I think Cas discovered a new show on TV.   
“Anyways“, Sam says and smiles again, “After the call ended and before the police arrived, you were…?“  
“Completely alone. I was scared, though.“ Arya laughs, and Sam laughs a little, too.  
As I’m about to join in, my laughing turns into a whimper, which I try to disguise as coughing. A sharp pain suddenly bolts through my head, and if the mind could be sore, mine would surely be right now. The ringing pierces through my ears, even louder than the last time, and I have to fight back the urge to press my hands to my head again. I concentrate on the tray with the glasses of water as my eyes fill with tears, even though I don’t want them to.  
“Dr. Waters. Dr. Waters!“   
Speaking of water, Sam sounds like he’s speaking through it. I look up, which sends another pain through my head, to see him and Arya looking worried. Luckily, when our eyes meet, he understands what’s going on. He stands up and pulls me up with him in a way that Arya can’t see. My vision goes dark, probably because I stood up too fast. Then why isn’t it getting better…?  
“Excuse us, we’ll go check on Agent Wright, just in case he-“  
I can’t hear the rest of what Sam’s saying. My legs give way, my arm slips out of his grasp, and I fall into darkness.  
And I keep falling, and falling, and falling…

I sharply inhale as I open my eyes and sit up. I’m lying on a ground that can’t be described with any word other than ‘existent‘. Everything is black, but it’s bright enough to see, which doesn’t make sense. I stand up and turn in every direction, but nothing changes. That can only mean one thing: I’m back in my own head.  
Time to find something pointy to stab.  
Now that I know that I’m dreaming, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Also, there seem to be no mixed up memories this time. I start walking and stop immediately. With every step, there’s a little splish splash, a noise as if I was walking through a puddle. I crouch down and touch the ground, but it’s not water, nor is it wet at all. I stand up and jump. The noise is still there, the only defined thing in this place apart from me. That can only mean one thing: It’s all in my head, so my head creates unlogical stuff. So maybe I can create stuff, too, I mean, it’s my own mind… Even though I still have my mind right now, as I’m in myself, so in myself is another me with a mind, in which is another me with a mind… If this was a normal dream, I’d wake up now, because I thought about it too much. However, this isn’t a sleep-dream, it’s a faint-dream. Do people usually dream when they faint? Well, obviously, I do.   
I look down at my hands and try to form an image in my head that looks exactly like what I’m seeing, but with a knife in my own hands, the one that Sam always has that can kill demons. There’s a slight silvery glow. I concentrate even harder, but then, something weird happens.  
I’m blinded by a blue-ish light. I don’t know where it comes from, as everything is very bright and my eyes close reflexively. The ringing that I heard when I was awake becomes louder and louder, putting pressure on my ears. Then, there’s a sudden change in the environment. 

I open my eyes and see a hand above my head, and I’m lying on a wooden floor. I back away as I sit up, and quickly look around.  
The hand belongs to Arya, she’s kneeling next to where I was lying a second ago. We’re still in her living room, but the coffee table where the water was standing on is broken, and behind that at the wall…  
“Sam?!“, Dean shouts as he bolts into the room, his pistol in his hands.   
He looks around, sees Arya, then me, then Sam, who’s slightly moving. He was slammed against the wall by someone… But I was unconscious, so did Arya…?  
I back away from her even more as she stands up. My head hurts as if I were the one that got slammed against the wall, and I grab the sofa’s backrest as support as I pull myself up. Dean points the gun at Arya.  
“Hands in the air!“  
She slowly lifts her hands. Weirdly enough, she doesn’t look scared or anything. Just a little annoyed, and worried. What did she do to me?  
“Tell me what you did“, Dean demands.   
I tumble towards Sam, who is leaning against the wall. Arya looks over and it seems like she wants to walk towards us, but Dean takes a step forward and lifts the gun a little higher.  
“Eyes over here! What did you do?“, he repeats.  
I kneel down next to Sam. He groans as I touch his arm and pull him up.  
“I didn’t do anything“, Arya finally says.  
“Oh, really?“, Dean asks scornfully, “Then who did?“  
Next to me, Sam takes a blade out of his pocket and sneaks up to Arya from behind. Dean doesn’t even look at him, probably to make it impossible for Arya to notice.  
With one move, Sam grabs Arya’s arms, pulls her backward and holds the knife to her throat. Now that there is a gun and a blade threatening her life, Arya doesn’t look as confident anymore. Dean speaks to me without taking his eyes off her.  
“What happened?“  
“I passed out“, I say, “I don’t know-“  
“She walked up to her and put her hand on her head, and there was blue light coming from it“, Sam helps me out, “When I stepped in, she threw me against the wall.“  
Oh no. I’ve only seen the wall-slam-thing happening a couple of times, but it was always a powerful creature that caused it…  
“What are you?“, Sam asks Arya and pulls her arms, which are behind her back, even higher. That hurts, I know that from my own experience. But it doesn’t hurt as bad as my head right now, I think it never was this bad before.  
“Can’t tell.“  
What a great answer. As Sam presses the blade into Arya’s skin, I lift my hand to touch my head and realize that there’s fresh blood on my face, again.  
“But I can tell you something about her.“  
I look up so quickly that it makes me dizzy. Arya’s eyes, that are, as I can see now, blue-grey as the sky when you look close to the sun, stare into mine.  
“Really? And what’s that?“, Dean asks. He sounds unbelieving, but also curious, just the way I feel. What would Arya know about me?  
Arya looks at Dean again. “What do you think it is?“  
“Why, what do you think it is?“, Sam asks and lets go of Arya. He keeps his knife up, though, as she rubs her wrists.  
“It’s not a migraine. That does not happen with migraines. And it’ll get even worse.“   
“Even worse?“, I ask, and can’t help but sound frightened. Even worse than this?  
Arya just nods.   
The brothers look at each other for a moment, and it looks like they come to a conclusion. Dean walks towards Arya and pushes her towards the door, holding the gun to her back.   
“Let’s go“, he demands.  
Sam carefully takes my arm and we follow them down the hallway, out of the front door and back to the Impala. Dean opens the trunk with one hand and opens the secret compartment where the brothers keep the weapons. He pulls out some handcuffs with symbols on them. As far as I know, they work on demons, angels, reapers, and, of course, humans, so they probably work on some other creatures, too. I have no idea what Arya could be, but I hope they’ll work, as I’ll have to sit right next to her.  
Dean puts the handcuffs on Arya and puts a blindfold over her eyes, opens the door to the backseat and pushes her in as Sam gets into the car as well, then he walks around the car. I take a step forward to open the door on my side, opposite Arya, and almost run into the car because I trip over my own feet. They feel really heavy, as well as my eyelids.  
“You good?“  
I look up and see Dean standing in front of me. “Yeah“, I say quickly.  
Dean doesn’t look fully convinced, but he nods and opens the door for me. I sit down on the backseat and he closes the door, then he gets into the driver’s seat. I try to sit as far on the side as possible to have some distance from Arya, who doesn’t even try to talk to anyone anymore. Dean starts up the engine and starts driving.  
“Where are we going?“, I ask and finally wipe the blood from my face with my sleeve.  
“The motel. Then home.“ Dean throughs me a look in the rearview mirror that clearly says ‘Don’t say any more!‘  
I nod and lean my head against the cold window next to me. Sam takes his phone out and dials a number.   
“Cas, it’s me. Can we meet up? We’ve got a problem here. …Yes? …Exactly. We’re on our way. …Okay, see you then.“  
He hangs up on Cas and nods at Dean. I look out of the window. Now we’ll have to meet Cas at the bunker, so we can’t finish our case and Cas can’t do whatever he’s doing right now, just because something’s wrong with me.  
“I just wish we knew who killed the dragon“, I mumble.  
“The dragon?“, Arya asks. I look over. She turns her head, even though she can’t see me with the blindfold on. “That was me.“  
Neither of us answer. I look out of the window. At least we know that now… I just wonder how Arya killed that dragon. With that weird powers that I haven’t seen anything of except for when she woke me up? Or did she use a sword made of dragon blood? Where would you even get such a sword?   
It’ll take about ten minutes to get back to the motel, then we have to get our bags and then we’ll drive for at least another hour to get back to the bunker. As I watch the houses outside fly by, my eyes slowly close. Maybe if I’ll sleep, I won’t feel the pain as much…  
“Try to stay awake“, Sam says loudly.   
I open my eyes again and shift in my seat. He’s right, I shouldn’t sleep, I don’t want to go back to the dark place. Or do I only go there when I faint and not when I sleep? I don’t really want to find out, I’ll just have to live with the headache for now, even though it’s a fight against the urge to close my eyes.

When we finally reach the bunker, I open the door on my side of the backseat and almost fall to the ground as I try to stand up. I tumble into Dean, who grabs my arm last second and pulls me up again, holding on for another moment to make sure I can stand. When he’s certain, I follow him and Sam, who pulls Arya with him. He opens the front door and I close it after we’re all inside.  
“Hi, Cas“, Dean says as we walk down the stairs.  
I look down and see Castiel waiting at the Map-table, then I trip and have to cling to the handrail to not fall into Dean.  
Sam removes the blindfold from Arya’s head when we reach the bottom of the stairs and I lean against the railing. She looks around, then her gaze stops at Cas.  
“Cas“, Sam says, “This is-“  
The angel stands up. “I know.“   
“You do?“, Dean asks unbelievingly.  
“Hello, Castiel“, Arya says, “Long time no see.“  
I look at her, then Cas.  
“Ariel“, Cas says.  
“Ariel?“, Sam says confused, “We thought her name was Arya-“  
“So an angel?“, Dean interrupts his brother and looks at Arya- no, Ariel. In my head, I finally manage to put things together.  
“Ariel’s an angel“, I say, and without my intention, my voice sounds blurry, if that makes any sense, “Sometimes called another archangel… With the same rank as Uriel.“  
“What happened to you?“, Cas asks and comes closer.   
I push away from the railing, stagger and then find my balance. Cas puts his hand on my head. A sharp pain goes through it and the ringing gets suddenly louder, so I bail away from the touch and press my hands to my ears in an attempt to make it stop. Now Castiel, Sam, and Dean look even more concerned.  
“It’s something with the soul“, Cas says, “I don’t know-“  
“I do.“   
We all turn to Ariel.   
“I was a higher rank than you“, she says to Cas, “I know what’s wrong with her.“  
“Well“, Sam says after a few seconds, “What is it?“  
“Not so fast“, Ariel says, “Why should I tell you?“  
Dean rolls his eyes. “Listen up, you tell us either way, voluntarily, or involuntarily.“  
“Or“, Ariel steps forward, looking rather confident for someone handcuffed in a room with three men that are definitely capable of killing her, “We help each other out.“  
“And why would we do that?“, Dean asks, sounding annoyed.  
Ariel shrugs. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe to speed things up?“  
“And what would you get from it?“, Cas asks.  
I have to fight to stay awake because my eyes keep shutting by themselves. Sam sees it and comes over, takes my arm and leads me up the few stairs to the library, where I sit down at the table.   
“You know, I like it on Earth.“ Ariel looks around again. “As Heaven’s open again, every angel is supposed to go back, but no one asked me what I think about that. Everyone thought I died from the fall, and I built a life, Castiel. I don’t want to leave it.“  
“So we just don’t tell anyone that you’re still around and you help us?“, Sam asks unbelievingly when she doesn’t continue.  
“And you get me out of these.“ Ariel lifts her hands, which are still cuffed.  
Sam, Dean, and Cas look at each other, then Dean answers.  
“Fine, just help her.“   
“Agreed.“  
Dean takes a key out of his pocket and unlocks the handcuffs. Ariel sits down at the library table, too, and the boys are quick to follow. I try to listen and look at her, even though it’s difficult and hurts.  
“I don’t know how much you know“, Ariel starts, “But you were supposed to be a prophet.“  
I carefully nod.  
“When someone turns into an active prophet, Heaven’s power goes down on him. Usually, every prophet has an angel for protection whose grace protects the prophet’s soul, you don’t.“  
“Because officially, there are no more prophets“, Cas adds.  
Ariel nods. “Without the grace as a filter, the power can unimpededly impact the human soul, which leads to the destruction of such.“  
“Her soul is getting destroyed by some godly power?“, Sam asks.  
“Yes. She passes out because her body uses it as a protective mechanism against the pain.“  
“That’s why I can’t wake up from it?“, I ask quietly. It would also explain why I dream of that weird place.  
“Exactly. Back at my house, I woke you up with my powers, but you’re probably not able to wake up by yourself.“  
“So, what do we do?“, Dean asks, “Will it stop?“  
“No“, Cas answers instead of Ariel, “Heaven’s power never stops.“  
“And, what, Mila’s soul will be completely destroyed?“, Sam asks.  
“I’d like to keep my soul“, I mumble, “And my life.“  
“There might be a possibility to get rid of the force.“ Ariel looks thoughtful.  
“What would that be?“, Dean asks.  
“If we manage to channel it, we might be able to cast it out of her body.“  
“Okay“, Sam looks at Cas and Dean, “And what is the catch?“  
“It might not work out.“  
“There is no other way, right?“, Dean asks. Ariel nods. “Let’s do it.“  
Ariel looks concerned. “I don’t know…“  
“What?“, Castiel asks.  
“There’s much pressure on her soul already. I felt it when I woke her up. I’m not sure if…“  
The boys look at me, then at each other. I try to look confident, and probably fail.  
“What else is there to do?“, I ask, “Either I die from it or I die trying to stop it.“  
“She’s right“, Cas backs me up when the brothers don’t look too convinced, “Even with the chance of failing, there’s the chance of succeeding.“  
Finally, Sam nods, and Dean says “Let’s do it.“  
“Not here“, Ariel says quickly, “We don’t know how strong the power’s going to be when channeled and cast out. I know a place.“  
They stand up and Castiel pulls me up with him, and we leave the bunker again. I barely register how we get into the car and start driving because I’m occupied with fighting back the pain. Now that I know it’s the power of Heaven crushing my soul, I actually feel worse than before, something that I wouldn’t have thought would be possible. Every sound seems too loud, and every color too bright, even though it’s night.

I don’t know how long we drive, it could be something between ten minutes and forty. Sam opens the door and helps me get out of the car. Not letting go of my arm, he makes me follow him, Dean, Cas, and Ariel. I just now register where we are: A lonely highway by a forest, which we enter. As it’s dark, I keep tripping over roots and plants, and I’m grateful that Sam holds me up. Again, I don’t know how long we’re walking, but my feet hurt when Ariel finally stops.   
We reached a small clearing in the middle of the forest. The moon gives off just enough light for me to make out where the others are standing. Ariel comes over to me, puts her arm on my shoulder and guides me to the middle of the clearing, gesturing the boys that they should stay on the side. She gently pushes me to the ground so that I’m kneeling with her standing behind me. She carefully puts her hands to my head, each on one of my temples.   
“Are you sure about this?“, Ariel asks quietly.  
I just nod and close my eyes, trying to prepare myself, even though I can barely imagine anything worse than the pain I’m already experiencing.   
It feels like I’m dying.  
I don’t know what I expected, but this is at least ten times worse, worse than being struck by lightning in the first place. It’s like someone heated up metal sticks and shoved them into my brain and my chest, one from every direction, and they burn me from inside out. Blue light fills my vision and ringing blocks my hearing. My vocal cords feel like their tearing themselves apart, but I still can’t hear anything but the ringing, until-  
I fall to the side and hit the ground. The blue light is gone and the ringing isn’t as loud, and the headache still hurts, even worse than before, but compared to what I just felt, it’s nothing. I prop myself up on my hands and feel cold and loose earth. When I look up, I notice something weird.  
“Mila, are you okay?!“ It’s Dean.   
At the side of the lighting, there’s Castiel, Dean, and Sam, just getting up from the ground next to where Ariel is, because she’s no longer behind me. I look around. There is no actual side of the lighting anymore. All the trees fell down, in every direction. Did I…?  
“Well, there goes that.“ Ariel stands up and brushes the dirt off her clothes.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?“, Sam asks, “It worked, didn’t it?“  
Ariel walks up to me, and the boys follow her. I stand up and almost fall again.  
“It’s too powerful“, she explains, “Even if you“, she looks at Cas, “And I worked together, we would not be strong enough to channel the force and cast it out.“  
She looks me in the eyes. “I’m sorry.“  
I just stare into nothingness. If there’s no other way, I’ll die. Do I want to die? No, I don’t. My eyes fill with tears, even though it’s stupid because there’s nothing I can do anyways.  
“Well, we’ll find another way then“, Dean states firmly and grabs my shoulder.  
“There’s always a way“, I mumble, quoting myself, and actually giggle a little. It’s what I said when I thought Crowley was going to kill me all the way back on the day I found out that I was a prophet. And look where it got me…  
“Some other kind of protection?“, Dean asks, “Hex-bags?“  
“That won’t work.“ Castiel looks tired.  
“A spell to share an angel’s grace with her’s?“, Sam proposes, “Replacing the original guardian angel?“  
Ariel shakes her head. “The assignment of guardian angels to their prophets is too old, it exists longer than humans do, it’s unchangeable.“  
“I thought you were dead.“  
We all turn around. A man with dark hair wearing a tuxedo walks towards the was-lighting, avoiding the fallen trees. As soon as I see him, the ringing goes louder again, even though I can still hear the others talk instead of it being louder than everything else.  
“An angel“, I mumble.  
“Elyon.“ Ariel sounds confident.  
Elyon stops walking, standing on the opposite of the former lighting. “I request you to go back to Heaven- Even though I’m sure Castiel already asked you to do that.“ He nods at Cas as he mentions him.   
“I’m not going back to Heaven“, Ariel says, “And neither of us is here to fight.“  
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.“ A silver blade, an angel blade, slides out of Elyon’s sleeve into his right hand. “If you don’t go back to Heaven and rebalance the relation of the worlds, I have my orders of what to do to you.“  
“There have been enough fights“, Castiel says and steps forward a little. He sounds tired but also determined.  
“You can’t tell me anything, Castiel, and you are lucky that you’re alive.“, Elyon replies. He sounds a little arrogant, given he’s outnumbered, “I don’t care if you kill me. The call could be heard from miles and miles.“  
“Man.“ Dean sounds annoyed. “I’d say I’m sorry about this, but I just don’t like you, you know?“  
Suddenly, he has an angel blade, too. I only see it sparkle in the moonlight for a second, then Elyon screams and his eyes and mouth start glowing blue-silvery. I close my eyes and turn my face away. In my head, the scream turns into ringing, but instead of fading as Elyon’s voice does, it stays and makes everything worse. I tumble to the side and into Sam, who quickly catches me. I try to keep my eyes open, but I just can’t, it’s impossible, my body’s screaming for escaping the pain, and even though I hear my friends shouting for me to stay awake, I just… go.

I open my eyes, and the ringing and the pain is gone. I’m back in the dark place. As I know now that I can’t get out of here by myself, I just hope Ariel or Cas will wake me up soon. Until then…  
I lift my hands and close my eyes, and I try to manifest the library of the bunker around me. It’s by far the room I’ve spent the most time in over the course of the past year. When I open my eyes, nothing changed. I sigh. Stupid, I didn’t concentrate hard enough.  
“Mila?“  
I sharply inhale. Without even turning around, I know who the voice belongs to. “You’re not real. This is all happening in my head.“  
“Of course it’s happening inside your head. Why should that mean it is not real?“  
I can’t help but smile at the reference. “If you’re so wise, why do you pretend this is real?“  
“I don’t. It doesn’t have to be.“  
I finally turn around and look into Kevin Tran’s brown eyes. “You’re a manifestation of my memory.“  
“I know. I know everything you know.“  
“No, you don’t.“  
“Why wouldn’t I?“  
I sigh, mostly because I know he’s right. He laughs and lifts his arms. He’s wearing that one red sweater that he liked so much.  
“Come on, bring it in.“  
I have to laugh a little, too, as I hug him. He wraps his arms around me just like when we hugged when he was still alive. It feels so real, not like my imagination.  
“Castiel and Ariel are trying to wake you up“, Kevin says after a few seconds.  
“How do you know?“, I ask without letting go. It’s stupid to hold on to a simple memory, but this is my mind. My head, my rules.  
“You’re in here, a place safe from pain. I’m the part of you that still registers what’s going on.“  
“So what is going on?“, I ask.  
“They’re failing. They can’t wake you up.“  
I let go of him. “What? Why?“  
Kevin shrugs. “Ariel said it was going to get worse. You’re shutting down your consciousness and went deeper this time.“  
“Oh.“ I look around. “And when I don’t wake up…?“  
Kevin nods because he understood what I just said. Of course he did, he’s a part of me. Furthermore, the real Kevin would’ve understood, too.   
“That’s why you have to wake up.“  
“How?“ I look at my hands. “It’s impossible.“  
“There is always a way.“  
I shake my head. “Don’t quote me.“  
“You mean ‘Don’t quote yourself‘?“, Kevin asks grinning.  
“Shut up, you’re not real.“ I try to think of a way out, but there’s not exactly a sign that says ‘Exit‘.  
“This is just as much a part of you as I am. You can wreck this place. When you manage to get out, you wake up. But it’s going to hurt.“  
I shrug. “Everything always hurts. Why would I want to wake up?“   
Kevin doesn’t answer. Now that I’m considering it, it’s not that bad of an idea. “When I wake up, it’s going to hurt and I’ll die. When I stay here, I die without pain. Isn’t that better?“  
Kevin shakes his head. “The real me wouldn’t want you to give up. I don’t want you to give up.“  
“You know I’m not giving up. I’m going to die anyway.“  
“So you’re telling me there’s no hope left in you?“  
“Obviously, there is.“ I point at him. “You’re the part of me that has hope against every logic.“  
“Who said things had to be logical to make sense?“  
When I don’t reply, Kevin sighs. “When I died, we didn’t get to say Goodbye. You know what it did to Sam and Dean. And now you want to leave them, too, just like that?“  
“Leave yourself out of this!“ I pinch my nose for a second. “No, leave Kevin out of this. You’re not him.“  
“Maybe I’m not. But you want me to be.“  
I cross my arms.  
“Look.“ The other part of me starts to seem desperate. “You have to say Goodbye at least, tell them it’s not their fault because there’s nothing they could’ve done about it.“  
“They already know that.“  
“They’re gonna blame themselves anyways, and you know it.“  
I look him in the eyes. “I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to see their faces…“  
Before I know it, I start crying. Kevin pulls me into his arms again.  
“I know.“  
“Do you think I’ll go to Heaven?“  
“As a part of you, I can assure you that we’ve done better than other people that went to Heaven.“  
“Sam told me that when you go to Heaven, you relive all your happiest memories.“  
“I know.“  
“We’ll meet Kevin there.“  
“Of course. He’ll take up most of the space, as always.“  
I laugh, pull away and dry my face with my arm. “Okay.“  
“You’re doing it?“  
I nod. “What do I do?“  
“Conjure a Patronus.“  
“Stop with the Harry Potter references, I’m not that obsessed.“  
“Apparently, you are. We want to go back. Show the part that’s blocking the way out how the real world can be like!“  
I nod again and close my eyes. Taking deep breaths, I try to remember my very best memories. As I expected, there are many of Kevin, but also Sam, Dean, and Cas, the bunker, the Impala. My head-inside-my-head is working faster than I thought it would, so fast that the memories start blurring together into one big ball of hope and happiness. And when I open my eyes, the ball is there, in the air right in front of me, giving off a slight golden shine.  
“I did it, Kevin, look-!“  
The manifestation of Kevin is gone. I look at the glowing ball which is about the size of a basketball. As that part of me was hope, maybe it’s in there, or around, or wherever. I carefully grab the ball, which feels like touching a warm, solid bubble, and hold it in my hands for a second. Out of instinct, I throw it up and watch it fly higher than I could ever throw a ball in the real world. Far away, I think somewhere where clouds technically would be, it explodes like a firework. Golden sparkles fall from the theoretical sky like raindrops, and where they hit the ground, the darkness vanishes, leaving a neutral nothingness. I watch the environment around me slowly disappear without trying to move away from it. Putting my head back to face the ceiling, I close my eyes. I can feel my surroundings shift.  
Time to say Goodbye to my boys.

Even before I open my eyes, I can already feel the pain from before, but for some reason, I don’t really care anymore. I recognize the bed I’m lying in immediately, it’s one of the beds in the ward. Someone took my shoes and jacket off and laid me down on the blanket.  
“Dean, Cas!“ Sam’s sitting on a chair next to the bed I’m in.  
Dean and Castiel, who were standing on the side, rush over.  
“You’re awake?!“, Castiel asks unbelievingly, “How?“  
“Is it out?“, Dean adds before I can answer.  
“No.“ I shake my head even though the answer is already clear.  
“So you’re -?“, Sam starts, but I interrupt him.  
“Yes.“  
Nobody says anything. Then, I notice something, or, someone. Ariel is in the room. Why is she still here? She did everything we asked her to.  
“What are you doing here?“, I ask her.  
“I’m just thinking.“ Ariel looks at Castiel. “Maybe…“  
They exchange looks. I can’t really tell what they’re saying, but it seems like Arya: something; Cas: Are you serious?; Ariel: Yes.  
Cas shakes his head. “No.“  
“Wait, what?“, Sam asks confused.  
“Ariel is suggesting a very stupid idea.“ Cas sounds annoyed.  
“Well, what is it?“ Expectantly, Dean looks from one angel to the other.  
Castiel opens his mouth, but Ariel cuts him off. “If an angel dies, he or she can technically transfer his grace onto a human.“  
“And you’re just telling us now?!“ Sam jumps up.  
“Because there’s a problem“, Cas says, “The grace of an angel probably won‘t be strong enough to handle all of Heaven’s force impacting on Mila’s soul and-“  
“So what?“ Dean looks combative. “We kill more and take their power-juice.“  
“Don’t kill people for their grace, Dean“, I say tiredly.  
“That wouldn’t work anyways“, Cas holds against that idea, “As I was trying to say, the angel transmitting their grace must do it willingly, and there’s need of a certain sigil.“ Sam sits down in the chair again as that hope gets crushed.   
“In other words“, Cas looks at Ariel insistently, “You did everything we asked you to. You should go before more of our brothers and sisters show up.“  
“Yeah, you should“, I confirm. I can’t help it, my voice shakes a little more with each sentence I say. “And thank you for your help.“  
Ariel looks at me sadly, then she nods. Sam, Dean, Cas and I look after her as she walks up the few stairs at the ward’s entrance and leaves the room. Then, they turn back at me.  
“These are the exact faces I feared you’d make“, I mumble and chuckle a little, but stop when I notice it’s making me feel worse. They smile, but they’re sad, I can see it.  
“How did you wake up?“, Castiel asks after a few seconds of silence in which I avoid the boys‘ looks, “Ariel and I, we tried to wake you up, but I thought you couldn’t do it by yourself?“  
“I wanted to wake up“, I reply honestly, “I wanted to talk to you before…“ I don’t finish the sentence, but I know that they know what I was going to say.  
“Listen“, Dean finally says, “I should have-“  
“And this is why“, I interrupt him, “Because I knew you guys would take the blame. What is there that you could’ve done?“  
Neither of them replies. I nod.  
“I feel like it should be like this.“  
They look at me like I’m crazy. Well, maybe the pain is making me crazy.  
“Aren’t you afraid?“, Sam asks confused. What a stupid question.  
“Of course I’m afraid to die, I don’t know what it’s like.“  
“It kind of sucks“, Dean says, “I speak from experience.“  
Sam and Cas shoot him a look that clearly says ‘Shut up‘, but I carefully nod. “You don’t have to be afraid of dying because you know what comes after. You can be certain where you go, I can’t.“ I look at the white ceiling. “Where do I go next?“  
“Heaven“, Sam says promptly and looks at Cas for confirmation, “Right? I mean, you’re such a genuine person, I couldn’t imagine anything else.“  
Castiel nods. “You’ll go to Heaven.“  
“If not, we’ll make sure to help a little“, Dean adds.  
I smile. “That’s nice.“ I make a pause. “I can’t say I want to die, but I’m ready to. And I don’t care where my soul goes after that. After all, Heaven’s nothing more than a constant live show of happy memories. But can I ask you for one thing?“  
“Yeah“, Sam says, at the same time as Cas nods and Dean says “Anything“.  
“Can you tell Linda?“, I ask. “I want her to know. She’s the closest to a mother I’ve ever had.“ All three of them agree immediately.   
“And can you…“, I go through my memories before I find the right words, “Get over it? I don’t want you guys to blame yourself, I don’t want you to be sad. Can you just go along with it?“ I smile. “Maybe we’ll see each other again one day.“  
Dean nods. Cas nods. I look at Sam. He nods, but… he’s tearing up.  
Sam Winchester is tearing up.  
I reach over, ignoring the effect it has on my headache, and put my hand on his hands. He holds it like he’s going to break it. I never noticed it, but it almost seems like he’s scared to hurt people, and now that I think about it, he’s like that most of the time.  
“It’s fine, really“, I say, “I mean, it hurts, but I now that later, it won’t. And when I go to Heaven, I see Kevin again.“ A new thought crosses my mind. “Will I know it’s just a memory?“  
Sam lets go of my hand, which I pull back onto the covers, and looks at his brother.  
“We noticed.“  
“Why?“  
They don’t reply and look rather at a loss of words.  
“Usually, you don’t“, Cas helps them out, “In Heaven, souls just relive their happiest memories without knowing what’s going on.“  
I nod. “I’d like that.“  
“You deserve that“, Dean clarifies.  
“How much do I have left?“, I ask quietly after a few seconds.  
“I am not sure.“ Castiel shakes his head. “What do you feel like?“  
“It hurts. It really hurts.“  
“I can’t tell for sure, but Heaven’s power works fast.“  
“So not long.“ I nod again and try to wrap my mind around it. “I did everything I wanted to. There’s no task left.“  
“Excuse me?“ I turn my head as the boys turn around to see Ariel entering the ward and going down the stairs again. She looks sad.  
“Why are you still here?“, Dean asks sharply.  
“I’m sorry.“ Ariel steps closer. “I remembered something else. Something I’d like to tell Mila.“ She waits a few seconds. “Alone.“  
The boys look at each other, then at me. I nod, and they stand up and walk away. I’m kind of curious. What is she going to say to me?  
Ariel comes around the bed so that she’s facing the ward’s entrance where Cas, Dean, and Sam are standing, making sure that they can see, but not hear us.  
“So?“, I ask after a short silence of her just looking at me and shift a little on the bed, “What is there to tell me?“  
“Nobody could’ve known this would happen“, Ariel says, talking quietly and quick, leaving me no time to reply, “Angels are constantly arguing over what happened to you. Did you become a weapon? A monster?“ She shakes her head. “A child. You’re barely eighteen.“  
This is starting to confuse me. “What’s it to you?“, I ask.  
“They’re going to kill me anyway.“ Ariel sounds dead serious.  
“What are you talking about?“  
Slowly, Ariel unzips her jacket. She’s wearing a shirt underneath. And underneath that, on her skin…  
I try to sit up. She’s bleeding. From a gigantic wound on her that goes up to her collarbones. A sigil. She’s not going to…?  
Ariel shakes her arm, and an angel blade slides out of her sleeve into her hand. She lifts it up with both hands.  
I can hear shouting and I know it’s Sam, Dean, and Castiel, but I only focus on Ariel’s words as she lifts the blade even higher.  
“At least let it be worth something.“  
With that, she stabs herself in the chest.  
Blue light emerges, from the wound, from her mouth, her eyes. I feel paralyzed as the lifeless body falls to the ground next to the bed. But even though Ariel’s life ended, the blue light doesn’t stop. Instead, it becomes more and more, almost blinding me. Like fog with a mind on its own, it flies towards me, bit by bit. I don’t know what to do as I look at my hands as the grace swirls around them. I start tearing up in pain, the ringing becomes louder and louder until it-  
Stops.

I’m standing on something that doesn’t exist, and I’m looking at the grace flying and swirling around in front of me to form a person, a person that looks like she’s made of light, and that person is-  
“Ariel!“  
She smiles and lifts her arms, having the grace move, as if it was her as the spirit of it, then the blue light goes so bright that I have to shield my eyes with my hands as it suddenly moves into every direction, everywhere-

I open my eyes and sharply inhale. Sitting up on the bed in the ward, I try to understand what happened. The ringing and the headache that were causing me so much pain are completely gone. I’m saved.  
But at what cost?  
“Are you okay?“ Dean is standing next to the bed.  
I look down at the floor on the other side, and see Sam and Castiel, kneeling next to the corpse of-  
Before I know what’s happening, I start crying.  
“Hey, it’s okay“, Dean quietly says and wraps his arms around me, “Shhh…“  
I sob into his shirt as he gently strokes my shoulder.  
I killed Ariel.

I light the match and watch the small flame for a moment. Then, I let it fall to the ground, where it hits the trail of gasoline, which connects to the pile of wood. In just a few seconds, the whole thing starts burning. I take a step back and stand next to Dean, Sam, and Castiel.  
They gave me the decision of where to burn Ariel's corpse, as it was my idea in the first place, and I chose this. The lighting where all the trees fell down because she tried to help me.   
“She saved you“, Sam says after a minute or so.  
I stare into the flames and can barely make out the body in the middle. “I’d rather have died than have her sacrifice herself.“  
For another few minutes, nobody says anything. I think the others are only here because of me, not Ariel.  
“Cas, where do angels go when they die?“, I ask quietly.  
“I don’t know.“ I look up. He looks tired. “Nobody knows.“  
I watch the wood slowly turning black as it burns. Ariel chose to kill herself, and now I have to live with that. At least I’m alive.  
At least I’m healed.

At least I’m with my family.


End file.
